However, I have learned a few things after taking care of my home for several years. These ideas take only minutes and require items you probably already have on hand.

How many of these tips can you work on today?

1. Paperwork of any kind can take its toll on the sanity of even the most organized person. And, school paperwork - with all of its forms, disclosures, reminders, and worksheets - can be particularly insidious. Place a letter-sized box right next to where your children put their coats and shoes for all of their school papers (ours is titled the "Mommy Mailbox"). You can sift through and file later on, but just having a go-to point of contact right as they walk through the door can curb your kids' impulses to leave things scattered on random surfaces.
2. Go through your handy "Mommy Mailbox" on a regular basis and use magnetic chip clips on the refrigerator for any papers that need to be displayed temporarily, such as birthday party invites and weekly spelling lists.
3. Keeping juice boxes, water bottles, kid-sized portions of fruits and vegetables, and other snacks stocked and ready can be a challenge. Place small, plastic baskets in the refrigerator and pantry labeled specifically for these items so that morning school lunch prep is simple. This also lets your child know which items are strictly for school lunch use.
4. Hot gluing clothes pins on a 2" x 4" wooden plank nailed into a closet wall makes a handy, out-of-sight place to clip and hang any number of hard-to-keep-organized items, such as necklaces, socks and papers.
5. Plastic spray bottles filled with cleaning solutions can easily multiply in and clutter up your cupboards. Simply hang them on a closet rod, and they become easy to find and out of young children's reach.
6. If you have cleaning buckets cluttering your floor, hang a plastic pants hanger, the ones with a clamp on either end, on a tension or closet rod and clip the bucket handle on the hanger.
7. Examine any surface with several random items on top of it and chances are, it looks cluttered. Take those same objects and place them in small, decorative trays or dishes and you will be surprised at how neat and orderly your dresser, side table or countertop suddenly looks.
8. Attaching girls' hair clips to a long, wide ribbon that's been tied to the towel rack in the bathroom keeps my daughter's many hair accessories clean and easy to find.
9. There is nothing more annoying than not being able to find clothes to wear in the morning. Fabric shelving units that attach to closet rods with Velcro are a life saver. Buy one with seven shelves and you'll have a space for each day of the week. Take a few minutes on Sunday evening to organize your outfits - even socks, underwear and accessories - and actually enjoy getting ready all week long.
10. That black hole that is the power cords box becomes a lot more manageable when you take a few minutes to label each cord with a piece of masking tape and a marker.
11. Instead of throwing out broken or cracked tall plastic laundry baskets, use them to organize your gift wrapping supplies. They are the perfect height to store rolls of wrapping paper, and you can also tie on a long, wide ribbon with scissors and tape threaded through it to always have on hand.
12. A lot of time can be wasted when trying to find the proper lid for plastic food containers. Using a CD rack to slide the lids into when you are unloading the dishwasher makes it easy to find the correctly sized lid in a hurry.
13. Don't be afraid to throw away or donate anything that is underused in your home. Lowering the actual number of items that need to be organized regularly is probably the smartest way to keep your home looking neat. This might also help you not buy so many things in the first place!
14. One item that is always in my coat closet is a large plastic bag looped on a hanger. It's where I put all of the things that I want to donate to goodwill. Knowing it's there helps me be more decisive about what I need to keep and what I should pass along to someone else.
15. This one isn't an organizational tip so much as a call to arms. If you ever don't feel motivated to clean or to keep things in their place, simply making the bed sets the tone for the rest of the day. Once that bed is made, every time you go into your bedroom, you'll be less likely to leave things in a heap because your bed already looks tidy. Clean begets clean.

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If you are lucky enough to live where there's snow, making snowmen and snow angels, and going sledding are requisite activities for all families this winter. But, what else can you do to make this season not only a time of fun, but also a time of learning together?

Have a "Live like a Pioneer" night

Because it gets dark so early, winter is the perfect time to talk about what it was like to live in the olden days without electricity and modern comforts. Turn all of the lights out and use candles (wax or battery operated). Serve a simple dinner of something the pioneers may have eaten (warm stew and biscuits perhaps), then cuddle up under a blanket and read books (or better yet, prepare interesting facts about your own ancestors to discuss) by candlelight.

Make an indoor melting snowman

Mix one part water and two parts cornstarch to make a polymer that your family can shape into balls to form a little snowman. Place the snowman on a plate and add miniature details, such as googly eyes, a shiny brad for a nose, and tiny sticks for arms. Then, sit back and watch as the lack of pressure being applied to the polymer causes it to "melt" flat all over the plate. The best part is you can simply roll it back into balls and make a snowman all over again.

Study snowflakes

Teach your kids about how every snowflake is unique by placing sheets of black construction paper on a metal baking sheet and setting it outside on the porch for an hour or two so it can get cold. Then, go outside and catch the snowflakes on the black paper, which provides a great backdrop to see the intricate details of each snowflake. The snowflakes will still melt fairly quickly, but the cold baking sheet allows you a few more seconds to study these tiny works of art.

Tie dye the front yard

Fill a few empty ketchup bottles with water and about 20 drops of various colors of food coloring. You can also do the same with a squirt bottle for a different effect. Simply squirt the snow with the colored water in creative patterns.

Make snow shoes

There are several Web pages that give detailed instructions on how to make your own snow shoes. Duct tape, tree branches, twine, and PVC pipe are just a few of the inexpensive and easy-to-find items that you can use. Make sure you block out several hours for this project, though. It isn't very difficult to make snow shoes, but time and attention to detail are important.

Make a daily temperature chart

Place an outdoor thermometer outside and record the temperature and weather every day. It's fun for the kids to see patterns in the weather while they learn charting and graphing skills.

Put out a bird feeder

The winter months are the best time to provide the birds in your area with birdseed, since the snow makes it difficult for them to find food on their own. Take photographs of the birds that come around and do some research to discover what types of birds you have coming around. If you are finding it difficult to attract birds, try offering something else besides standard bagged bird seed. Fruits, sunflower seeds and peanuts might do the trick.

It may be chilly outside, but with a host of great ideas ready to go, your family will feel the warmth of fun times spent together.

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Birth

Ask any parent what the best day of his or her life has been. Chances are, the days their children were born rank right up at the top. Childbirth is frightening - full of risk, and it's unlike anything else you've ever gone through. It is utterly life-changing to enter into the valley of the shadow of death to bring forth life. A few minutes after I had my first child, I was struck with a powerful and humbling thought: "I am a mother."

Sleeping through the night

Our second child had a rough time in the beginning. He only slept through the night one time in his first year of life (appropriately enough, it was on Mother's Day - when he was about six months old). It took another six months for him to do it again. To say that I craved sleep is an understatement. Sometimes, I felt I would never feel like a human being again. Never fear, though. Parents eventually get their personalities back and feel at least somewhat normal again once their children sleep through the night.

Learning to speak

Those first few words are magical, but one real rite of passage is being able to have an actual conversation with your child. The laughter, the silly phrasing and language choices are what make those first conversations with your young child so memorable.

Going to school

I have a love/hate relationship with school. I love all it teaches my children and all that my kids get to experience, but I hate being away from my children all day (although, to be honest, we all need breaks sometimes). Going to school is a whole new world, and it's exciting to see your kids experience so many firsts in a classroom setting.

Humiliating you in public

You haven't earned your parental badge of honor until your child embarrasses you in public. From getting sick and not making it to the bathroom in time to asking a stranger an inappropriate question, my kids have provided my husband and me plenty of opportunities to feel humble. The good thing is, in any situation like this, there is usually at least one other parent in the room who has experienced the same thing.

Learning to read

Books are important to me, so I naturally beamed with pride when my kids began bringing me books to read to them. Learning to read is a long, challenging process, so to witness your child mastering reading, one step at a time, is rewarding. One of my favorite things is seeing my kids curled up with a book. This rite of passage is great payback for all of the hardships we experience as parents.

Showering without help

That moment when your child can gather his towel and clean clothes, turn on the water, soap up, wash his hair without leaving bubbles, turn off the water, towel off and get dressed all by himself is life changing. It seems like such a simple thing, but to parents, it's huge.

Hanging out with friends

Allowing your children to experience how others live and how other households are run can be illuminating. Staving off the "But Mom, Ben's mom lets him do that!" can be annoying sometimes, but I have learned a lot from having my kids' friends over and letting my kids go to their friends' houses.

Caring for a pet

For various reasons, it took us a long while to get to the point where we were ready for our first family pet. When we finally got a kitten, it was a joy to watch the kids care for her and love her. This particular rite of passage is both practical and emotional. Taking care of a pet teaches children responsibility and selflessness, but it also opens up the possibility that they will experience heartache and loss. These are all things that are best learned earlier, rather than later, in life.

Getting that first job

My first real job was working at a potato processing plant. At age 18, I spent eight hours a day cutting rotten spots out of potatoes that endlessly passed me on a conveyor belt. Although it was monotonous and backbreaking work, I'm glad that my parents taught me the value of work by supporting me in my first job. However bittersweet for parents, this rite of passage is one important step toward your child becoming an adult.

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Well, after 15 years of marriage, my perspective has changed - a lot. Family life and marriage are hard, and I've had plenty of chances to remember that book idea with embarrassment and laughter.

Far from expert advice, here are 15 simple things I've learned after 15 years of marriage:

Let your spouse enjoy hobbies - without guilt

Few things cause as much contention as resenting your spouse's hobbies. If you try to make your spouse feel guilty about his time spent doing what he enjoys, you'll both be miserable. Come to a mutual agreement. Allot time for both you and your spouse to spend enjoying your hobbies, and stick to your plan without anger or resentment. Your spouse will be happier which, in turn, brings you greater happiness.

Be excited about what your spouse is excited about

If possible, become involved in what your spouse loves. I like football, but my husband, whose brain is a perfectly crafted catalogue of sports facts, loves everything about the game. Over time, he has taught me a lot about the many rules and nuances of football, and I've arrived at a place where I truly love taking in a game with him. We also spend time together enjoying one of my hobbies - researching and visiting historical homes. Give your spouse's hobbies and passions a chance, and he or she will be willing to return the favor.

Care about what you look like

Make an effort to take care of yourself. This has been one of my goals recently, and although I have a long way to go, I have noticed that my mood improves when I have spent just a few extra minutes on my appearance. We all know that our improved moods change the vibes in our homes for the better.

Don't care about what you look like

Take care of yourself, but don't stress too much about your "sweats-and-T-shirt" days. Your spouse loves you and is attracted to you. Be confident in that.

"Quantity time" is just as important as "quality time."

You have to put in the time to have a good marriage and family life. Quantity counts! Be present and involved - day in and day out.

Cook for your family

Over the years, I've gone from cooking every night for financial reasons to really relishing cooking. Some nights are fish stick nights (embrace it), but there is something uniquely satisfying about making real food with real ingredients for the people you love.

Let the kids play on your bed

I'm not from the "The kids are never allowed on our bed" camp. We all love to hang out together on our bed, reading, talking and laughing as a family every night. It is often the best part of my day and is a great way to feel unified.

Kiss hello and goodbye

Despite our kids' occasional protests to our kisses, it is important for them to see that my husband and I love each other. Kissing hello and goodbye are two simple ways to tell your spouse, "You are important to me."

Say "I love you."

Just as there are those who aren't big on physical displays of affection, some people aren't motivated by verbal affirmations. However, for Dave and me, it works. It anchors my life when he tells me he loves me. Take this a step further and tell your spouse exactly why you love him or her.

Say "I'm sorry."

Keeping pride in check is a struggle. During those times that Dave and I aren't getting along very well, I often realize that it's because we haven't been willing to admit we made mistakes. Be vigilant about apologizing when it is appropriate and necessary.

Public criticism is the quickest way to hurt your relationship

Avoid putting down your spouse in front of others. If there are real issues in your marriage and you need advice, get help from someone you trust, but if you find yourself complaining to others, stop. So what if he forgot to take out the trash? You have flaws too, and you both deserve to be forgiven of them.

Criticism of people he loves is the second quickest way to hurt your relationship

The reality is, you're not going to feel compatible with everyone in your spouse's life. Take the high road during these times. Avoiding criticism of people in your spouse's life helps build trust between you.

Dating is just as important now as it was 15 years ago

Dave and I dated for a year and a half before we got married. It was miserable being apart during that time. We have found that things haven't changed much. We still love to be around each other. Going on dates is a crucial way to push that much-needed "reset button."

Stay committed during tough times

Whether it's due to internal family issues or external stressors, there are times when life is just hard. Illness, money, employment and problems with children all take a toll on marriages. During those times, it's helpful to have a long-term view and to simply keep plugging along. Crises will change and things will eventually get better.

Laugh

Good, deep belly laughs heal a lot of pain. Sometimes family life is hilarious. Run with it. Try to find at least one thing to laugh about together each day.

The post 15 things you’ll learn the hard way during 15 years of marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.

Some of us are savers by nature; we have a natural inclination to avoid unnecessary purchases and take great satisfaction in stockpiling our earnings. The rest of us are spenders; we are motivated, consciously or unconsciously, by seeking and finding various ways to buy things - stockpiling objects and experiences rather than our hard-earned cash. Most of us can agree, however, that if we enter our retirement years with only those objects and experiences, we are in for a lot of pain and hardship. It's money that we are going to need, and we are going to need quite a bit of it.

Consider yourself very fortunate if you are naturally a saver. But, if you tend to spend more than you save, take heart in knowing that this is an aspect of our personalities that is absolutely something we can change. The hardest part of beginning to save for retirement is just that: the beginning. Decide now to save and then decide exactly how you are going to do it. Once we have some systems in place that take away the daily decision making, we don't have to make conscious decisions all of the time. Automatic withdrawals and deposits are a beautiful thing; taking advantage of those bank programs makes it so that we aren't even capable of overspending the money we are supposed to be saving for retirement. Our resolve can weaken if we have to choose what to do with all of our money all of the time; but setting up automatic payments to our accounts makes it impossible to make hasty, incorrect spending decisions.

Most of your co-workers are already saving for their retirements; in this case, peer pressure can be a good thing. If you don't yet contribute monthly to a 401k (matched by your employer, if available) and a Roth IRA, take steps to do so. This is a no-brainer. You simply can't hope to have what you need to retire without these two tax-deferred savings plans.

Beyond a Roth IRA and a 401k plan, the second most important way you can save money for retirement is to take steps now to get out of debt. Turn a critical eye to every loan and credit card statement you have. Make a list of total amounts owed and the interest rates you are currently paying and double at least one of these monthly payments. Be sure to promptly change your automatic payment to double the minimum payment so you don't have to remember each month. Once that debt is paid off, add this amount to the next debt's monthly payment. It may take some time, but it will be worth it to pay off your debt, especially if you don't incur any new debts.

Set up an automatic deposit of $100 to a savings account that you don't touch. Saving an extra $100 a month isn't necessarily going to be life-changing, but it will help to have that extra money once you retire. Don't think too much about whether or not you can afford it; this is another example of how turning off your brain can work to your advantage. You might not even notice the missing $100, but if you do, the following can help make up the difference. Pack your own lunch (last night's dinner leftovers can curb the boredom of brown bagging every day, so double the recipe!), buy items secondhand, drive your car for as long as it lasts, buy things online and in bulk, avoid eating convenience foods (homemade meals taste better, are healthier, and much less expensive), stick to your shopping lists every time, repair damaged clothing instead of buying new, and wait 30 days before making unnecessary purchases.

These steps may seem little, but the payoff is huge.

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There's always a rush of emotions when you start dating someone new. It's exciting to find someone you feel a connection with and enjoy spending time with, but there is a lot of worry and uncertainty that comes with new relationships as well. For the first few weeks or months of a relationship, both you and your man are on your best behavior, usually only seeing the best versions of each other. While valuable lessons can be learned from dating people of various personality types, ending a relationship as soon as you know it shouldn't go anywhere can save a lot of heartache. Here are some signs that the man you are dating might not be right for you:

1. You don't like who he becomes when he gets stressed out

When I was dating my husband, we got a flat tire while driving one night. I was pleasantly surprised to see the patience he displayed. He laughed at the predicament. Through the years since that night, neither of us has always shown such good humor when trying times have come. But, more often than not, we have realized that life is easier to handle when viewed from a more positive angle. Having a man in your life who is able to give you that positivity is valuable. We all feel the pressures and anxieties from work, school, family and health issues. Consider how the new man in your life manages these acute stressors. Now, times that by five. This will give you a fairly accurate picture of how he might manage stress after marriage and children. If you don't like what you imagine, consider leaving the relationship. Yes, people can grow and change, but in case your man doesn't, make sure you're okay with his natural response to stress.

2. You find yourself not always wanting to be around him

When you are dating someone who is really special to you, you naturally want to spend as much time as possible with him. A friend once told me that he realized his wife-to-be was the right woman for him when he spent a weekend at his parent's house with her and never got tired of being with her. Try spending an extended period of time with your boyfriend, and if you find yourself getting easily annoyed with him or needing a break from him, this could be a red flag.

3. You don't have the same values

Marrying someone of the same faith makes sense for many reasons, though it is possible for couples of differing religions to have good marriages as long as they share the same set of core, intrinsic values. While having long discussions about his beliefs is important, it isn't enough. You must see those beliefs in action as much as possible. If you, for instance, have certain beliefs about raising children, be sure to schedule some time where the two of you can be around and take care of friends' or family's children. Talk to your boyfriend about how he was raised and see if you are on the same page with discipline, rewards and family rules.

4. You cry more than you laugh

My husband and I had our first conversation at an ice cream parlor where we were celebrating my roommate's birthday. While talking with him, I quickly realized that he had a knack for making me feel at ease. He also made me laugh-a lot. His ability to make me laugh is still one of my favorite things about him! The dating life is not easy. It is fraught with apprehension and uncertainty, and tears naturally fit those emotions. However, if there is so much drama that you find yourself crying more than you are smiling, your relationship could be the problem. Examine how you feel when you are around your boyfriend and when you are apart. If you realize you are generally less happy than you were before you started dating, it may be best to break things off.

5. He doesn't make you want to be better

The man you are dating isn't perfect. You aren't perfect. But the direction you are heading is worth examining. Sure, we all have bad days and lazy moments. We all make mistakes with money, at work and in our relationships. If the general pattern of this man's life seems to be progressing toward a better version of himself, consider staying in the relationship. If you notice that he's not attempting to improve himself spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially, it is possible you could be in for a life of future disappointment. He may be fun now, but having fun with him is only one part of a happy life. Being serious about important matters will allow your fun and joy to continue for a lifetime.

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Public speaking experience

Many churches allow and encourage children, even from a very young age, to give short sermons in their classes. I remember, as a child, going to the church during the week to "practice" the little speeches I was occasionally assigned to share. Even though I was often shy in front of crowds, having those opportunities to speak helped me feel more confident as I became an adult.

A lens through which to see world problems

Having perspective when we view the many difficulties of humankind can make all the difference in our day-to-day thought processes. Knowing that there is a God and that He has a plan and purpose for each of us can help ease the pain of our most severe global problems.

Convictions

In our world, it's becoming increasingly clear that Alexander Hamilton's belief is still very true: "Those who stand for nothing fall for everything." When our kids are faced with tough decisions, their religious beliefs can give them a reason to take the higher road.

The ability to work with people

Long before we are old enough to work for a company or have to deal with office politics, we can learn to work with people in church. Our congregations consist of people of all ages and personalities. Some of my best friends are people that I first met in various church groups. There have been several times I have learned to admire someone whom I initially struggled to understand or connect with after I worked with him/her in church service.

Opportunities to serve

One of the main purposes of a church group is to provide help to those in need. Thinking of others' needs and serving others, especially when it is difficult to do so, helps our children understand that the world does not revolve around them.

A framework for meditation

There have been specific times in my life when deep thinking and soul searching have brought thoughts to my mind that have had astounding effects on my progress. Religion cultivates the practice of meditation, which not only gives us a brief emotional lift, but sometimes a deeply profound sense of clarity and meaning.

Self-discipline

Attending church week after week, year after year is certainly an exercise in self-discipline. It's not always an easy feat, and neither is sitting still on a pew for an hour or more - especially for children. Although sleeping in on the weekend certainly has its merits, making it a habit to get up and go to church - and being involved in meetings - helps us become stronger.

A study in how to approach personal issues

Religious figures teach us such principles as how to take risks (David and Goliath), how to resist temptation (Joseph and Potiphar's wife) and how to forgive others (the prodigal son), among many others. Answers to all life's problems are found in the scriptures, and giving our kids the tools and abilities to find these answers is an important responsibility of parenthood.

Resilience

Nothing hinders our success in life more than the tendency to give up after the first bump in the road. We simply cannot succeed if we don't persevere and learn from our challenges. If we look around us - in our congregations, in sermons, in scriptural passages - we see countless examples of people who did not back down from challenges and who did not let weakness or difficulty get them down.

A relationship with God

The feeling of connection with God can be the single most important feeling we ever experience. It bolsters confidence, helps us understand ourselves and connects us with the highest source of love we will ever know. Keeping this feeling with us - and showing our kids how they can have it, too - anchors our lives.

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Obviously, there wasn't much we could do to prepare our boys for their surgeries because of their ages, but when our 12-year-old had her tonsils removed, we tried our best to make sure she was ready. Whether for a tonsillectomy or something more serious, helping your child feel prepared for an upcoming surgery will help her heal more quickly, and it can even turn the experience into one that helps your relationship grow. Here's how.

Tour the hospital

Surgery can be scary and overwhelming. If possible, go to the hospital beforehand and take your child on a tour. Help her become familiar with the people she might meet and the places she might stay. Many children's hospitals offer pre-surgery classes. These classes are frequently offered for general surgery as well as more specific types of surgery. Your facility will probably also have "child life specialists" who are trained to help children to be emotionally and mentally comfortable before and after surgery.

Explain the "whys" and "hows" of the surgery

Research your child's procedure and ask the surgeon, beforehand, such things as average surgery time, what will likely happen during surgery, length of hospital stay, average recovery time, medications needed and expected results. Then, take the time to sit down with your child and explain exactly why he needs to have the procedure done and what will happen. Explain the anesthesia, and help your child understand that he won't feel the surgery. Be honest in an age-appropriate way, giving your child the opportunity to ask questions and express his concerns.

Make a "surgery poster."

To help your child feel as ready for surgery as possible, make a surgery poster together. Write down or draw the time frame of the big day and what will take place in simple terms. Because your child won't be able to eat or drink before the surgery, help her draw or cut out pictures of some foods she'd like to enjoy after the surgery. Draw or take photographs of all of the items she'll want with her before and after the procedure - a favorite blanket or stuffed animal, family pictures, cozy slippers, music or lip gloss. Include where you and the rest of the family will be while she is in surgery. Make the poster colorful and unique, and include positive affirmations and expressions of how the surgery will eventually help her feel better.

Ask friends and family to contribute to a "get well box."

Before the big day, secretly compile a get well box containing cards, pictures and letters from family and friends. You can even include a small new toy or book. Magazines, Sudoku, crossword puzzle books and doodle books can also help older children beat the boredom they will probably experience during recovery. After the surgery, as soon as you feel your child is ready, surprise him with the box. Feeling the support and concern from those around him will help him heal more quickly.

Display patience and love

Going through a surgical procedure, even a minor one, can be very difficult. Above all, your child needs your love. Make showing her that love a priority. Spend as much time as possible with her as she recovers. Massages, snuggles and uninterrupted conversations can be just as helpful to her recovery as medications and sleep.

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Learn from our trials and errors and reconsider these rules. Getting away from these common educational methods can help your son thrive in his education.

Make him sit still during the learning process

The main floor layout of our house is such that one can run around and around in a circle through the kitchen, living room, and family room, which my children do many times a day. When it's time to work on homework and school projects, they seem to want to utilize the circle even more. For years, I fought them on it, telling them to stay seated until they were finished. I've since discovered that moving around actually helps boys stay focused longer.

Sometimes my sons do their homework standing up or sitting on a large yoga ball, and this helps clear their minds. As shown in a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, movement can increase boys' working memory. Fidgeting really does help children learn, especially boys.

Insist on sending him to kindergarten right on schedule

In many cases, boys develop more slowly than girls, both cognitively and emotionally. The fine motor skills needed for handwriting often come later for boys, as well. If you have a boy with a spring or summer birthday, consider waiting until he is 6 to send him to kindergarten. Giving him another year free from schedules, deadlines, and expectations - with more opportunities for imaginative play - can help him find more success earlier in his kindergarten education. And earlier success helps boys have confidence in their own abilities, which translates into great achievements within, as well as apart from, school.

Expect him to grasp reading skills early on

It is common for girls to learn to read before boys. A study at Virginia Tech University found that the language area of the brain of the average 5-year-old boy is comparable to that of a typical 3-year-old girl. However, the study also found that, typically, boys' math and geometry abilities mature faster than girls'. Be patient, yet consistent, in helping your son practice reading. Turning the monumental task of learning to read into a daily battle of wills is never a good idea, so start slowly and in small doses.

Make sure to get books (both fiction and non-fiction) that will interest your son. Try changing things up once in a while. Read with him using a flashlight in a pop-up tent or under a fort you've made, or sometimes take turns reading pages. Reading every other page in a book can be a lot less overwhelming.

Insist on completing homework right when he gets home from school

A couple of years ago, I made the goal of having my kids complete their homework right as they walked in the door. Armed with their after-school snack and a no-nonsense attitude, I would ignore the moans and groans and make them sit right down and complete their homework. It was nice to get it done early in the afternoon, but my plan soon backfired. My kids - my sons especially - had a hard time focusing on their work; they were tired after a long day at school. This resulted in a lot of frustration for all of us.

Now, I see the benefits of giving kids some time to rest, play and eat before the homework starts. Depending on our schedule, we can't always do this, but this process helped me see that what works for one family might not work for mine. Giving my boys some downtime before starting their homework helps them feel energized and ready to try their best again.

Leave all of the educating to his teachers

Life can feel so busy sometimes that we might inadvertently disengage ourselves from our children's education. We might tell ourselves that their teachers are the educational professionals and have things under control. Many teachers are wonderful and do an excellent job educating our children; however, one of the best ways we can help our sons do well in school is to make their education our own top priority. I have discovered that most of the time, the kind of school your child attends or the kinds of teachers they have are less important than parental involvement.

If you are actively aware of your son's assignments and grades, the concepts he is learning, the friends he is making, and how he feels about school, you send him the message that his education is important to you. Volunteer at the school as often as possible; if you work during the day and can't be in the classroom with him, try to volunteer at any evening activities the school might have. This will help you get to know his teachers and friends, but more importantly, you can quickly get a sense for the challenges and triumphs he is experiencing.

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Upon waking

Before the rigmarole of the day begins, take a minute to connect. Because I'm not a morning person, I often find it hard to wipe the sleep away and really be present in my relationship. But, making a goal to pray together briefly each morning or at least hug and make some eye contact before work and school preparations can start my day off with the right frame of mind.

Mid-morning:

Send a quick text or email to your spouse when you have some time in the middle of the morning. Sending a romantic message is important on occasion, but it doesn't always need to be. Just make sure the call or text is not too mundane or of the "did you pay the electric bill yet?" variety. Share a funny anecdote from work, a memory from your lives together, a brief "thank you" for something your spouse did for you, or something you like about them.

At lunch:

Try to meet together for lunch when possible. This probably isn't feasible very often, but making the effort to reconnect during working hours sends the message that your spouse is more important than the pressing deadlines and meetings at work. On those days when you can't physically meet, have a brief chat on the phone.

After work:

Before we had children, my husband and I were given some advice: after becoming parents, always take a brief moment, sans children, to talk and reconnect the moment you get home from work each day, making a point to teach your children to respect boundaries and allow Mom and Dad their time. We had grand plans to do this, but then reality hit, and clinging toddlers, dinner preparations, and youth sports schedules seemed to always get in the way. Train yourself-and the rest of your family-to do this as often as time will allow, and you will see your relationships change for the better.

Before bed:

Make sure you go to bed at the same time. Sometimes I have to work on my editing or writing late into the wee hours of the night, and I appreciate my husband's efforts to try to stay up with me. Although I don't support the idea of both of you being sleep deprived, I do believe in the importance of turning in at the same time as often as you can. Having habitually differing bedtimes can make it easier to drift apart emotionally.

Anytime throughout the day:

The surest way to kill the sparks in your marriage is to let those inevitable thoughts of frustration and anger fester and stew. We are all irritated by our spouses on occasion, and let's be honest, we know we do and say things that annoy the other person, too. When I consciously make the point to remove negative thoughts about my husband from my mind, I feel more hopeful. Choosing to see and appreciate his many good qualities is perhaps the single most important way I have found to keep the flames of love alive in our marriage. So, next time you feel yourself getting angry over the sock bunnies on the floor, or your spouse forgetting to pick up the groceries, force yourself to stop those thought patterns. If needed, think of kind ways to address the issue with him or her, but above all, see the good that is there. A spouse who is seeing the good is a good spouse.

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