To those like me, who seek for marriage, yet find ourselves single it is hard. Often I hear things like "Don't worry, you'll find the one," or "It's just not time yet, keep trying." But it becomes extremely discouraging to keep trying when you have little success. In early February, I was told by a girl that she was not ready for a relationship and wanted to stop dating.

I started to wonder, "What did I do wrong?" I realized that I was obsessing about marriage. I wanted to find a wife and start a family so badly that I was scaring away girls. I then found this quote:

"To you single women and men who wish to be married I say this, do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably." ~Gordon B. Hinckley

I was obsessing about marriage, and I needed to stop as it was hurting my dating life, and affecting my happiness. As I read this quote, I asked myself, "What are these other activities that he talks about? What should I do while I am single and trying to find a spouse?"

Here are some things we can do to stay anxiously engaged while not obsessing about marriage:

1. Try something new

When you are obsessing about marriage and how others view you, it drains your desire to try new things. For example, my local church youth group was having their annual skate night. I had never skated, and last year I was so afraid of looking like a fool in front of girls that I refused to skate. This year at the behest of my friends I got out of my comfort zone and tried something new; I skated! Did I look awkward? Yes, but I was trying something new, and I was living!

Try something big or small if you've always wanted to do it, or if you've always been afraid, there is no time like the present to try something new! Remember, you're only single once (#yolo) so make the most of it!

2. Travel

Take advantage of this time being single. Once you are dating or married you won't be able to travel as much, if at all. So plan a fun road trip, experience the culture around you. Plan a trip and start saving today.

Travel can provide you with many opportunities to share what you are passionate about, plus have many culturally refining experiences. It will broaden your understanding of others, and expand your knowledge about other's beliefs. I know I am thankful for my road trips.

3. Set up smart habits and routines

Take advantage of the chance you have while you are single to set up smart habits and routines. You may be tempted to delay these actions, but they will not become easier once you are married.

Some good habits are things like daily scripture study, morning and evening prayer, saying thank you, or writing in a journal. Routines are personal and a lot harder to establish. Take for example establishing a healthy exercise routine; you are the only one that can determine what is a healthy routine for your life. As they say, routines should help you avoid sin and reach your potential.

4. Set goals

One of the biggest mistakes I see young single adults make is they stop setting goals. They fall out of the habit of making goals, and because they stop making goals, they stop progressing. Remember from Proverbs 29:18: "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."

5. Continue to learn

No matter your stage in life, you should always continue to learn within your chosen field or profession. Seek to increase your skills by education; either by schooling or by seeking out a mentor, always work to enhance your craft, and learn new skills. As Mahatma Gandhi said "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

6. Go on a humanitarian mission

A humanitarian mission is a short 1-4 week mission trip to a third-world country. A trip where you help build homes or schools, dig wells, or teach English. Basically, it is a humanitarian mission helping people and experiencing the culture. This type of mission trip is an amazing experience!

An example is Color My World.Color my world is run by the Hughes family who is from New Hampshire. Color my World is a non-profit that runs humanitarian missions in Nicaragua, Peru, Costa Rica, and the Dominican. People go from 1-6 weeks and build schools, houses, and experience the local culture, and work with the people.

What do you do to really lived life?

This article was originally published on mylifebygogogoff.com and has been republished here with permission.

The post Stop obsessing about marriage! An open letter to my single friends appeared first on FamilyToday.

Much can be said about the immaturity of men. From my experience, and the experience of my sisters, many are bad boys. But there are good guys too; we are not perfect, but we try. We often get thrown out with the bathwater in terms of generalizations like, "All men are pigs." I will say 95% of guys give the other 5% of us a bad name. I want to let you have a glimpse into how the good guys actually feel.

Here are 9 things the good guys wished women understood.

It is not about sex

Let me start here. For the good guys, it is not about sex. Sure every guy has a desire to have sex, but that's the difference between the nice guys and the bad boys: we control our desires and are not sex-obsessed pigs. We desire a relationship, and ultimately we want a family. We do not get married to have sex, and we do not date for it either.

We think differently

Every guy will admit it-we don't understand women. But women don't understand us either. That is because we think differently. The first step toward better communication is learning how we communicate and how we think. We talk directly. If we ask a question, we are seeking the answer to that question.

An example? We ask, "Where would you like to eat tonight?" because we would like a straight reply like, "Panda Express." Or, if you don't care as long as it is not Taco Bell, then say that: "I don't really care as long as it is not Taco Bell." Saying, "I don't care," when you really do, puts us in an impossible spot to read your mind.

Asking you on a date is hard

The courage it takes to ask a beautiful girl on a date is far more than we ever thought it would be. It is one of the scariest things we've ever done. And, yes, if we are asking you on a date, we think you are beautiful. And, honestly, for every good guy that asks you on a date, there are probably 2-5 that just have not worked up the courage yet.

Asking you on a date does not mean we're asking you to be our girlfriend or wife

Seriously, we just want to take you bowling or on a hike. We are not asking you to commit to a relationship or to marry us when we ask you on a date. We find you attractive, and we are asking you on a date because we want to get to know you better. If it sounds fun, give it a chance.

Asking you on a date does not mean we are asking you to drop out

We can't tell you how many times we have asked a girl on a date only to get the reply, "I am too busy with school. I do not have time to date." We understand school is a priority.We understand you're busy. So are we, but you can take 30 minutes to grab a bite to eat with us.

Being nice is being honest

In the quest to be nice, please do not lie to us. Being nice is giving us a shot, but lying to us is not. If you don't want to go on a second date, tell us. Don't lead us on, and please don't lie to us. We look for honest girls. If you lie to us, it shows us you are not a good girl, the kind we want and deserve.

Lying makes you less attractive, and honesty makes you more attractive. It is never nice to lie, and it hurts us more than the truth. Truth hurts, but if you are honest with us, we'll accept it.

We see real beauty

A lot of girls think their beauty is a weight or a dress size, but it is not. Beauty comes from within. You don't need to be size 0. If you are trying to be healthy for yourself, that is good enough for us. That effort makes you attractive.

We wished the same courteousy applied to guys. One of the most frustrating parts of the dating culture is the double-standard of physical beauty. If a guy says, "I don't like her because she's fat," that guy is a pig. If a girl does not like a guy because he is not muscular, it is "understandable," and often she will be told she deserves more. However, my sister was once told, "Before you judge a man on his looks, remember he does not wear makeup."

We hate the dating game

If you like us, treat us with respect. Don't tell us no, then expect a chase. If you don't like us, tell us. But this dating game of "chasing" or "mystery" is a joke. If we ask you on a date, it means we see something in you we like. If we ask you on a second date, it means we like you.

We are not always the best at explaining our feelings, but when we tell you something, we mean it. For the good guys, our signs of affection are a big deal; we don't give them out to anyone. We hate the dating game and all the dating "rules." We want to be ourselves and to find someone who will love us for who we are.

We don't expect perfection

A false idea we hear over and over again is guys want the perfect girl. Good guys recognize that what we are looking for is potential and progression and not perfection. We realize, yes, physical attraction is important; but if you are ugly on the inside, no amount of makeup can cover that up.

Yes, we want to be physically attracted to the girl. If we were never attracted to a girl, we would never have asked her on a date. But far more important than looks is character. Who she is and how she treats others is what makes a woman most attractive and beautiful.

If love is built only on physical attraction, it will fail as our bodies are guaranteed to decay. But if you love a person's soul, you can grow together.

This article was originally published on MyLifeByGogoGoff.com. It has been republished here with permission.

The post 9 things the good guys wished women understood appeared first on FamilyToday.

Women ... My friends are always complaining how they can not understand women. I am no exception; the more I talk and date, the less sense girls make. So I decided, in an effort to understand women better, I would start asking all the women I know what we as men can do better.

When I asked what we could do better at, I was expecting something I would not understand. But, not only did I understand, I also agreed with basically everything I was told. I decided these guidelines were valuable enough to share with you. Here they are, written from a woman's perspective since these are things women told me.

I want you to stick up for me

A little teasing is okay. But when we are in a group and everyone is teasing me, deep down inside I am praying you will stand up for me. I am praying you will tell them to knock it off. I want to know you care about how I feel. Take away my doubt. Stand up for me. If nothing else, it will show me you care.

I want some PDA

I may not be a fan of some "public displays of affection." But I do not want to be disowned when we are in public together. If we are dating, it is okay to hold my hand in public. It is okay to show people we are together. I am okay with and enjoy the little displays of affection because they remind me you care.

I want quality time

Spend time with me. You can put down that controller or your phone while I am with you. I promise I will do the same. Place greater value on me than games or texts. I may not always express it, but when you value your games more than me, it hurts. Games are not bad, but ignoring me is.

I want you to have bros

It is important to have time to spend with others. I do not mind you wanting to do things with the bros. I know you value me by your actions; and if I feel valued, I am totally okay with you spending time with your buddies. Go ahead and enjoy a guys night with good, clean fun. I also need time with my friends! Anyway, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder ...

Also, please be loyal. When you talk about me, treat me as a lady. Do not degrade me in front of your friends. I promise I will not degrade you either.

I want you to be a man

When I see you acting like a man, like sticking up for someone who needs help, it makes me proud we are together. The simple acts of opening a door, paying for dinner or giving me flowers go a long way reminding me why you are the gentleman I want in my life. And true men never talk down to or hurt ladies. It is simple as that. True men bring out the best in us.

I want you to be honest

When you promise something, mean it. I will do the same.

Honesty is the best policy, but just because something is true, does not mean it needs to be said. Being tactful is a valuable art! If this dress does make me look fat, it might be a bad idea to say so.

Still, I would rather hear the truth, no matter how inconvenient, than be lied to (only to find out the truth another way). Being honest with me allows me to trust you. I promise to value honesty enough to be willing to accept the truth. (As my mom put it, "We are all big kids. Pull the band-aid off fast. No one wants it to come off slowly.")

I want you to express yourself

I want to know you, the real you. Be yourself. When it comes to emotions, it is okay to tell me how you feel. You do not have to do it alone. I am here for you.

Also, say, "I love you." But most importantly, show me you care. Learn my love language, and I will learn yours. It may not be the normal thing for you, and our love languages may be different. But if you love me, learn to express your love to me. When I can feel your love, doubt is swept away.

I want you to show your love by listening

Listening is one of the best ways to show me you mean it when you say, "I love you." Listening takes a lot more effort than you would think. It means paying attention to what I say when I say something. Then, later on when you act on it, it shows me I am valued. I will also try to listen to you. Our relationship grows more than at any other time when we have real conversations. Real conversations require both of us to talk and both of us to listen.

This article was originally published on MyLifeByGogoGoff.com. It has been republished here with permission.

The post 8 things women wish men knew they wanted appeared first on FamilyToday.