Megan Gladwell – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Sun, 22 Oct 2017 00:39:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Megan Gladwell – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 7 things a little boy needs from his mama https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-things-a-little-boy-needs-from-his-mama/ Sun, 22 Oct 2017 00:39:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-things-a-little-boy-needs-from-his-mama/ Raising your boy to manhood is no easy task.

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Though they may sometimes smell like wet puppies, we moms sure love our little boys. While dads play a key role in boys' development and well-being, wise and patient mothers are essential for more than doling out snacks and doing laundry.

What do boys need from their moms?

1. Help With Grooming

Your husband ignores his back-of-the-neck stubble and occasionally has trouble matching his clothes. You can bet he won't always notice your son's inside-out T-shirt, uncombed hair, icky socks or mismatched outfits. This is mom territory. Clip his fingernails and when he's old enough, teach him how to do it. Give his ears a swab with the Q-tip. I know - gross and duh - but little boys aren't self-cleaning ovens or cats.

2. A Chase Around the House

Save the pro-wrestling smack down stuff for dad. When you both have energy to burn, who says mom can't play an impromptu game of tag? Boys love a good run and chase. You're sending the message, "You are fun to play with and I love you."

3. Snuggle Time With a Story

Generally, girls dig reading more than boys. Often, schoolteachers assign nightly "reading minutes," which can sometimes turn reading into a chore. Find a book that you can read to your son each night, completely un-school related, simply for the pure enjoyment of it. Make it fun by giving each character a different voice or accent (give Wilbur a nasally whine and Charlotte a British lilt, for example). Snuggle up. Boys need affection, too.

4. One-On-One Pow Wows

Boys aren't always vocal about their personal concerns. They tend to manifest their anxieties in physical ways rather than sitting down and articulating them. Help draw out your son's worries by holding regular, informal interviews. Chatting in the car alone can be ideal conversation time. Ask open-ended questions, such as:

  • What was your favorite part of your day?

  • If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?

  • What are the three best things about you?

5. Introduce a Bit of Culture

  • Attend a play with your son. It doesn't have to be Broadway. Something local and inexpensive can be great.

  • Create a show tunes playlist to listen to in the car. Your guy may groan at "Dancing Through Life" or "On My Own," but you may be his only link to this fabulous music genre, which, at least on some level, he'll appreciate someday.

  • Along the same lines, rent or record a musical or any classic movie to watch together. It'll open up to him a new world of wholesome entertainment.

6. Cooking 101

On those Sunday afternoons when your son desperately needs something to do, assign him a "very important" recipe for dinner. (A dessert usually scores big points.) Pull out the ingredients, review the recipe together, and let him go at it. Stay close enough to monitor things, but let him feel like this is his baby. He'll learn a new skill, enjoy an immediate reward, and you'll get a moment's peace.

7. Grab the Wiimote

Play your son's favorite video game with him. It's all about spending time together, and when you display interest in his hobbies, your son will love you for it.

Moms are often overwhelmingly busy. If you don't have ten minutes to read a story or play tag, don't fret. Pull your little guy into your arms and tell him you love him - that will do the trick, too.

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7 ways you are unknowingly keeping yourself from success https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/7-ways-you-are-unknowingly-keeping-yourself-from-success/ Fri, 04 Dec 2015 13:30:15 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-ways-you-are-unknowingly-keeping-yourself-from-success/ Moaning and groaning and blaming others for our roadblocks is childish. Take charge of your life and find the success…

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Think about the person you admire most. Has he or she dared to do something different or simply plodded along the same old beaten path?

"But this person had it easy; it's not that way for me," you argue.

While it's common to blame external influences for our failures, most often we're the ones sabotaging our dreams.

If that spring in your step has slackened, and you're feeling discontented in life, don't simply grit your teeth and carry on. Stop to consider how you can change or improve your path, be it in nutrition and fitness, education, your career, personal relationships or expanding your interests and talents.

Don't let the following impede you from taking the plunge to get ahead.

1. Procrastination

Oh, that status quo. It's so comfortable, and there's always next year, right?

Studies find that the very best way to beat procrastination is to start somewhere now. It's natural to fret about the hard parts of a goal or project and avoid them. But our brains love conclusions, so jumping in and starting serves as motivation to finish.

2. Self-doubt

Fear of failure is a big excuse to avoid trying new things.

Stop making excuses. Figure out where your weaknesses lie and what gives you sweaty palms. If you lack computer skills, for example, get the training you need. To boost your confidence in any area, take a class, read a book or hire a coach.

3. Second-guessing yourself

Think about the last time you shared a presentation or taught a lesson. Many of us experience that pesky, nagging voice in our heads that criticizes even our best efforts.

Squash that voice. If you want or need to take on a new challenge, give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You can do hard things.

4. Lack of funds

If your goal is college, for example, don't let a bleak-looking bank account prevent you from your education. Your years of college will pay off handsomely later.

There are many options available to help finance a college degree. Federal Pell Grants are like your best Christmas ever; they don't have to be repaid. Scholarships to any university abound. Also, many graduate programs offer funding for admitted students in the form of teaching assistantships, research assistantship, or tuition and insurance coverage. Some programs could even cover your full costs and pay the student a stipend. Find applications through your school, extracurricular activities or workplace.

5. Peer pressure

Believe it or not its not just children even adults cave to peer pressure.

It's easy to allow others to sway us. We don't want to veer into new territory and be perceived as weird by our family, friends or associates. But we'll never launch ourselves into something better if we don't seek out new opportunities.

6. Excessive daydreaming

When we fantasize too much about the outcome of a goal and fail to set concrete plans to reach it, our goals can fizzle.

Ciotti points out that while thinking positively about the future is certainly beneficial, "too much fantasy can have disastrous results on achieving goals."

Too much basking in the fantasized outcome prevents us from tackling the steps to achieve the goal: "Our poor brain is thus a victim of itself," says Ciotti.

7. Being unaware of the possibilities

When we haven't seen something done before, it's easy to assume it can't be done. This holds true for advanced education.

It's always possible to change career paths. For example, at Brigham Young University Graduate Studies you can learn about pursuing one of the 85 + graduate programs offered at BYU that may or may not be related to your undergraduate work.

BYU aims to set up everyone for success by providing "intensive learning in a stimulating setting where a commitment to excellence is expected and the full realization of human potential is pursued." Click here to learn more about BYU Graduate Studies.

If it's for the better, change direction. Veer off your unhappy course. You are in charge of your life, success and happiness.

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4 reasons your baby needs your snuggles https://www.familytoday.com/family/4-reasons-your-baby-needs-your-snuggles/ Wed, 17 Jun 2015 06:31:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/4-reasons-your-baby-needs-your-snuggles/ Your newborn is wailing, but you're in the middle of something important. Experts warn to drop the something important and…

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In ancient times, a newborn may have had a leg up on a 21st-century baby. In our modern society, Mom and Dad bring baby home from the hospital, ooh and aah for a bit, dress it and feed it, and then carry it to the nursery. Sleeping down the hall, baby is isolated from his parents' touch during the long nights ahead.

Babies in prehistoric times, however, slept very close to their mothers' bodies. This habit of cosleeping became less popular when civilizations became modernized, especially in Western cultures. During the 18th century, mothers were warned against spoiling their infants by holding them too often or responding too quickly to their cries. The "cry-it-out" approach became the standard.

More recently, a return to cuddles and snuggles has been emphasized. Some exciting research explains why.

Your touch is essential

Interpersonal touch, or touch occurring between two individuals, has been found to be "essential to human existence," according to this article. In his book Touch: The Science of Hand, Heart, and Mind, Johns Hopkins neuroscientist David Linden explains how our sense of touch directly correlates to our emotions. Touch communicates emotions and it affects the way we interpret people around us. "Interpersonal touch not only has a special role in early human development but continues to be crucial across the span of human social life, promoting trust and cooperation and thereby deeply influencing our perception of others," writes Linden.

What does all this mean for a baby? Your sympathetic touch can alleviate the pain of an infant's immunization, for example.

Why the "crying-in-arms" approach works

As adults, we know that a good cry can be therapeutic. For a baby, those aggravating crying sessions are crucial. They release stress and allow baby to blow off steam. But when regularly left unattended, the baby's cortisol levels can rise and affect his health.

In this article, developmental psychologist Aletha Solter explains the benefits of holding your baby during those crying sessions. If your baby continues to cry after his basic needs have been met, find a relaxing position in a peaceful environment. Hold him gently, talk to him soothingly, look him in the eye, and listen to him. Remember that some crying has no remedy; the baby simply needs to cry. Don't feel guilty, helpless or anxious. If you lack the patience to hold your baby in that moment, try to find someone else to hold him, advises Solter.

Your newborn won't become spoiled

When you respond to your crying infant promptly, your baby's sense of trust and security is cemented. Researchers who study "attachment parenting," or providing cuddles during crying episodes, find that babies left to cry unattended become more clingy and demanding by age 1 than babies held while crying, says Solter.

Your baby will grow into a teen with high self-esteem

Solter explains that your patient touches and snuggles with your baby will have a huge pay-off: your child will feel more emotionally connected to you. She'll trust you as a listener, and will bring her problems and emotions to you. Because she'll sense that you love her unconditionally, her self-esteem will be higher.

Your loving touches and snuggles will communicate volumes to your infant.

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8 signs you are ready to get married https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/8-signs-you-are-ready-to-get-married/ Tue, 16 Jun 2015 06:54:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/8-signs-you-are-ready-to-get-married/ Maybe you'd rather gouge your eyes out than get married. The "M" word is a scary prospect, but maybe now…

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Guys, this is directed to you. Maybe you're sincerely looking for the love of your life. You long for marriage; you'd buy the ring and tux tomorrow if you just had the right girl.

But if you're part of that other group, foot-dragging and indifferent to marriage, it's time to man up. At the risk of sounding like your nagging aunt-why not take life's next big step? Don't rush into anything, but do take an active approach to getting married if any of the following describe you.

1. You want added security

In the U.S. at least, marriage secures many legal benefits for spouses. There are government benefits like Social Security, Medicare, and military benefits. There are medical benefits such as the right to make medical decisions or visit your spouse in an intensive care unit. Employment benefits, death benefits, housing benefits, consumer benefits and more are outlined here.

2. You're kind of lonely

Do you talk to your goldfish or watch too much TV at night? Maybe nights with your parents or the guys are becoming stale. Start looking for a girl you can see yourself spending your life with. Be open to being set up by your friends, or give online dating a chance.

3. Your friends are getting married

So, your peers are pairing off and getting hitched. Maybe their wedded bliss is just the nudge you need to pursue marriage too.

4. You want to be healthier and happier

According to this article, the health benefits of being married are so substantial, one sociologist described them as being as "large as the benefit from giving up smoking." Research finds that married men and women are more likely to be happier, live longer, be physically and mentally healthier, and recover from illness quicker. Interestingly, unmarried couples that cohabitate do not share the same health benefits, says the article.

5. You're tired of feeling untethered

Undoubtedly, the single life has been fun. College, traveling, nights out with the guys and dating different girls are important stages of life. But now, perhaps the thought of planting roots with someone special by your side is appealing. The emotional and physical ties that marriage provides are fulfilling and will help you feel complete.

6. You're buying grown-up furniture and checking out real estate

Maybe you've outgrown your parents' basement or your bachelor pad apartment and started looking at real estate. If you foresee marriage in your near future, it's often better to take that step before buying a home. Unmarried property owners are less likely to stick together and can encounter complications if they part ways. Marriage is a lifelong commitment with a signed contract; without the contract, financial arrangements are messy.

7. You want kids

It takes a certain level of maturity and selflessness to be a good father, and being married to your children's mother yields many benefits for kids. Children raised in a family with married parents can expect higher academic achievement, less domestic violence, better emotional health, more time with their dad, fewer behavioral problems, and smaller likelihood of being sexually active as teens.

8. You met a girl

If you've met a girl you feel comfortable with and she makes you want to be better, you may have found the one. If you've found "the girl," stop making excuses. Maybe you're still in school, unemployed or underemployed, commitment phobic, or just freaked out. Don't let these reasons impede you. Your marriage, if it feels right and you work at it, will succeed no matter under what circumstances it starts.

Be careful not to get married just because you've been with the same person for several years or because it's what is expected. If you're in doubt, end the relationship. If you believe she is the right girl, trust your feelings and take the leap.

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5 fantastic ways to deal with a husband who thinks you’re his mother https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/5-fantastic-ways-to-deal-with-a-husband-who-thinks-youre-his-mother/ Thu, 28 May 2015 09:01:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-fantastic-ways-to-deal-with-a-husband-who-thinks-youre-his-mother/ You probably don't look like your husband's mom. So why does he confuse you with her?

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Sure, most husbands act like responsible adults. They're dependable, conscientious and behave like the grown men they are. But once in a while, that boyish "Mom will do it" mindset surfaces.

Along the same lines, sometimes married women look to their husbands as a father figure. They revert to the young, helpless girl that needs protected and taken of.

When your husband confuses you with his mom, here are some easy tips to reinforce your role as his wife:

Let the Q-tips pile up

A friend told me a pretty disgusting habit her husband had of using a Q-tip each morning to clean his ears, then laying it on the bathroom counter. The trash can was just two feet away, but the guy must have forgotten it existed. The dutiful wife would toss the used Q-tips each morning, until one day she changed her mind. The used Q-tips grew into a small mountain.

The exasperated husband finally asked why the Q-tips weren't being thrown away. My friend explained that it wasn't her job. So, if your hubby lets his trash, dirty underwear or sweaty workout clothes pile up, calmly let him know that those piles offend you. They make you wonder if he is sending a message that you're his maid, and they don't set a good example of cleanliness for your children, either.

Don't apologize for your cooking

When your dear husband expects his favorite childhood dishes on the table every night, it's time to set things straight. It's great to incorporate some of your mother-in-law's dishes into your cooking, but you probably have your own tried and true recipes as well. If you're the cook, explain that you plan the menu. It never hurts to add variety, so you can tweak your mom-in-law's recipes if they're too fattening, for example.

Escort him to the laundry room "¦

"¦ or the dishwasher, or the vacuum. Make sure you and your spouse share household chores, especially if you both work. If you're constantly cleaning while he's watching TV or playing video games, ask him to take over a chore. He may not even realize you need help unless you ask.

If his gaming habits drive you crazy, talk it out

Maybe his mom turned a blind eye to his excessive video gaming. But now your husband is a grown-up with responsibilities, and one of them is your marriage. You want to interact in meaningful ways and have real conversations - not feel abandoned.

Let your hubby know that you're feeling ignored, and you're worried about the toll video games are taking on your relationship. Ask him to cut back. See this article on how to deal with a gamer husband.

Don't forget to comfort, encourage and uplift

Before the two of you were married, you probably turned to your parents or close friends for a shoulder to lean on. Now, you have each other. Be the listening ear and cheerleader, and your marriage will strengthen. The trust and confidence you have in each other will grow.

Plan to enjoy a long and successful life together. Stand firmly as the wife, not the mother, in your marriage.

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7 signs you are that horribly overprotective parent https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-signs-you-are-that-horribly-overprotective-parent/ Fri, 22 May 2015 06:44:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-signs-you-are-that-horribly-overprotective-parent/ You aren't afraid of being the parent that puts their foot down. In fact, you relish in it.

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Kids face temptations to all kinds of reckless behavior. The world's confusing messages besiege them. Who do you want raising your children and shaping their values? The media? Their friends?

Not a chance. You're a no-nonsense guy (or gal). You don't tiptoe around your kids or apologize for enforcing rules. You treat your children like the underage munchkins they are. You love your kids so you choose to:

1. Know your kids' whereabouts and enforce a curfew

While a tracking device inserted under the skin would be nice, making your kids accountable is probably even better. Encourage your kids to learn responsibility by notifying you of their whereabouts. Be fair but consistent with curfews. Insist that your teen reports to you immediately upon arriving home.

2. Dole out punishments

For you, dreaming up appropriate punishments is really fun. Serve justice in a way that's relevant and meaningful but not harsh or cruel. For example, when my eleven-year-old son won't sit still for an hour of church, he goes straight to the couch when we get home. No talking, wiggling or playing is allowed while he "practices" church for several minutes. The threat to "practice church" is usually enough to keep him still during the hour-long meeting.

3. Watch what your daughter is wearing

Yes, revealing clothes for girls are fashionable, and widely accepted. But isn't it refreshing to see a teen girl in clothes that are cute and flattering, but modest? My teen son has admitted to me that he's uncomfortable around scantily-clad girls. (Yes, he does like girls.) See this article on the merits of modesty.

4. Peruse your kids' cellphones

Do random phone checks. It's a parental right, especially if you're footing the phone bill. Don't feel guilty about skimming some of your kids' text conversations. It's a surefire way to see what they're up to, and perhaps prevent some poor choices.

5. Speak often with your kids about uncomfortable subjects, like pornography

If you bring up serious topics once a year and make a special occasion of it, your child may believe that he needs a special occasion to broach the subject with you. Don't have a one-time talk about pornography and never bring it up again. It's everywhere out there, and not addressing it doesn't make it any less prevalent. Keep the lines of communication open by being casual and approachable about difficult topics. Don't flip out if your child looks at porn; do discuss its damaging effects.

6. Ask your kids what they did last night

It's not nosy to be interested in your kids' activities. Some kids are more open than others, but it's always important to ask. Be casual but interested in their activities. Keep tabs on how they spend their time.

7. Say no to certain shows or movies

There is a lot of garbage out there on TV and in movies. Shows that take a casual approach to unmarried sex and pornography, display inordinate amounts of graphic violence, showcase contention and disrespect in families, and feature drug and alcohol use don't set a positive example for your children. Watch what your children are watching, so you can discuss what's on TV or to be there to turn it off.

Taking a tough-guy approach as a parent isn't like being a bully or a control freak. As it turns out, being a horribly overprotective parent is a good thing. Doing just that is acting on the deep love you have your children by helping them make good choices.

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Why we pretend to need God much less than we actually do https://www.familytoday.com/family/why-we-pretend-to-need-god-much-less-than-we-actually-do/ Sat, 25 Apr 2015 06:31:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/why-we-pretend-to-need-god-much-less-than-we-actually-do/ It takes a dose of humility and maturity to understand that we really do need God in our lives.

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It's easy to shrug off what other people consider divine. We assume that God is unrelated to the everyday things that happen to us. We feel like we've got things figured out, life is what it is, and we don't really need God. So we diminish the importance of building a relationship with him because of some of these reasons:

We think religion is for weirdos

In today's world, some of us assume that religious people are mostly fanatical or needy. We might brush off God and religion, acting like we're above such things. We're like young children insisting, "I can do it by myself!" It's not until we are humble or mature enough to realize we can't do it alone that we acknowledge our need for God.

We attribute our success to our own hard work and talents

When we're successful, we pat ourselves on the back and claim all the credit. We work our tails off through school or work and finally reach that level of success we've strived for. We simply assume we've done it all on our own.

But all those people and things that helped along the way (parents or other mentors, health and perseverence, financial means) are actually blessings from above.

We forget he sees the big picture

Our perspective is much more limited than God's. A friend put it this way: When you work a dot-to-dot, an image immediately comes to view. The dots are perfectly placed to form a picture. But sometimes life is a mess of dots. Trials pop up that don't seem to make sense. Once we find God, trust him and overcome our trials, though, we see that those dots have created a beautiful picture.

When those messy dots pop up, faith helps us trust God's plan for us. We can pray for peace, strength, guidance and better days ahead. The apostle Paul said, "Let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (KJV Philippeans 4:6-7)

We don't recognize what he does for us

NFL player Tim Tebow is a well-known example of openly acknowledging and praising God. Following his touchdowns on the football field, Tebow drops on one knee in prayer. Tebow isn't shy about recognizing the hand of God in his life and publicly showing his gratitude. Many of us take for granted our blessings and forget that God does so much for us.

Why is it so important to make room for God in our lives? We need to love God; the first and greatest commandment is to love him with all our hearts. And actually, loving him is in our best interest.

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11 reasons being a young mom rocks https://www.familytoday.com/family/11-reasons-being-a-young-mom-rocks/ Wed, 22 Apr 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/11-reasons-being-a-young-mom-rocks/ You're the queen of your castle, and your small children are your adoring subjects. Nothing beats being a young mom,…

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If you're a young mom, you might feel like a frazzled mess. You may wish to fast forward to a time when your kids are more independent and you actually have time to pluck your eyebrows.

If you're a middle-aged mom, you might yearn for the days of yore when your children gave you sloppy kisses and your skin didn't look so tired. You may wonder why you wished those years away.

Every stage of motherhood is rewarding, but here is why being a young mom is really cool.

  1. You can feign ignorance when your little one does something embarrassing, like scream at the top of his lungs in the grocery store. You can shrug, "I'm new at this, OK?"

  2. You're still in your prime. You may have a few post-pregnancy pounds to lose, and maybe you don't have the time or inclination to maintain your nails. But if you're in your 20s or 30s, believe me - you still look awesome.

  3. Your kids are still sweet. The drama of teenage angst is still years away. Your young kids may be sassy at times, but they generally want to please you. They're not shy about throwing their arms around you or writing you love letters.

  4. Shopping for Christmas and birthdays is still pleasurable. Giving an iPhone to a teenager isn't fun. It's the beginning of expensive monthly payments and the battle to limit screen time. On the other hand, giving your child a lightsaber or pink-clad baby doll creates something magical. You'll love watching your kid use his or her imagination and engage in creative play.

  5. You have cool baby gadgets and accessories. I don't even know the names of them because I never got to use them. But we older moms are jealous of the neat little snack carriers and other gadgets we catch glimpses of in the hands of young moms.

  6. You can roll around on the floor with your kids. You still have a strong back, and your legs don't cramp up when you play with your kids' toys.

  7. A day out doesn't have to cost anything. A teenager would not be satisfied with an outing to the pet store, park and public library. But they give your young kids a thrill.

  8. You have the power to mold young minds. Don't neglect cuddling with a storybook, and teaching your kids about good morals and the wonders of the universe. They love to listen to you. In a few years, that will change.

  9. You can get away with any hairstyle or clothing style. When you hit middle age, you have to worry about dressing age appropriately. Not so when you're a hip, young mom. Rock the cool hair and clothes while you can.

  10. You can plant good habits in your kids. Using sunscreen, drinking milk, limiting soda and candy, eating green veggies, praying, making the bed and reading every day can become habits when introduced early.

  11. You're the royal queen. Your little kids look up to you and think you're the wisest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the world.

Being a mom is a blessing, and being a young mom is fun. But here is a little-known secret: your kids' teenage years rock, too.

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Top 9 reasons why you’re a miserable excuse for a woman https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/top-9-reasons-why-youre-a-miserable-excuse-for-a-woman/ Sun, 29 Mar 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/top-9-reasons-why-youre-a-miserable-excuse-for-a-woman/ You might think you're lousy. And maybe you are. But maybe, just maybe, you're not.

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Maybe your morning went something like this...

You woke up with a headache after just four hours of sleep. A shiny, brand-new zit greeted you in your bathroom mirror. Your didn't have time to make your bed, you splashed milk all over the kitchen table, you snapped at your daughter when she couldn't find her homework and you realized your baby has pinkeye.

Like a bug caught in the sticky, days-old residue on your tile floor, you came to the conclusion that you're hopeless. You're such a lousy person, you should be carted off immediately and hurtled into outer space. And why, exactly, are you such a miserable, lowlife human being?

  1. You lose your temper.

  2. Your windows are grimy.

  3. Your kids mouth off.

  4. It's been ages since you called your mom.

  5. You make unnecessary purchases.

  6. It's been almost a decade since you last scrapbooked.

  7. You forget to put sunscreen on your kids.

  8. You lied to your friend.

  9. One brownie is never enough, and a cheeseburger always sounds better than a salad.

You sigh because your list could go on into double or triple digits. However, thinking back over the past few weeks, maybe you did do a few things right.

  1. You read a story to your toddler that made him giggle.

  2. You took a loaf of bread to the new neighbor.

  3. You paid a sweet compliment to your daughter's awkward friend.

  4. You gave thanks to God for the recent rainstorm, your family, and the plentiful food on your table.

  5. You plucked your eyebrows and polished your nails.

  6. You smiled warmly at the grumpy store cashier.

  7. You gave your spouse an extra kiss and squeeze.

  8. A colleague at work was in a tight spot and you helped him.

  9. You finally scrubbed your kitchen floor.

See? You mess up - everyone does - but you do a lot of things right, too. Who wants to be perfect all the time, anyway? Never saying the wrong thing, always eating the right thing, maintaining a spotless house 24/7 - those things are impossible and exhausting. In an article from Huffington Post, motivational speaker, Eli Davidson, says the opposite of "Perfectionitis" is simply "healthy striving."

"Studies show that healthy strivers set realistic goals that are the natural next step from where they are now," says Davidson. She recommends that you cut yourself some slack, take really small steps, be gentler with yourself, make "maybe someday" to-do lists, ask for help and pat yourself on the back for the progress you make. Also, remember that "everyone has zits or cellulite or both," says Davidson.

Don't board that spaceship quite yet. You have so much to offer yourself, your family, friends and even strangers on the street. Although it's easy to discount the good things you do, they actually mean a lot. Keep in mind this quote from novelist Roderick Thorp: "We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies."

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5 divine promises to revive you in times of extreme pain https://www.familytoday.com/family/5-divine-promises-to-revive-you-in-times-of-extreme-pain/ Thu, 19 Mar 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-divine-promises-to-revive-you-in-times-of-extreme-pain/ No matter who you are or what you're going through, peace awaits.

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We've all experienced them, and if we haven't, we will. Tragedies are a part of life, but we don't have to endure them alone. God understands sadness, pain, financial strain, disease, death and every other hardship life throws our way. And he yearns to help.

These verses from the King James Bible console us, offering the peace we may not find from our well-meaning friends, therapists or other sources.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts" (Psalms 138:23).

When heartache occurs, we can invite God to share our pain. Only he really understands the things we go through. He thoroughly knows our hearts and thoughts but waits for us to reach out to him. When we speak to him in prayer, he'll comfort and guide us, as promised in John 14.

John 14:18

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."

We can be assured that God keeps his promises. He adds:

John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

God speaks with such tenderness in these passages. We can imagine his arms encircling us when we're hurting. Often, we try to find peace through worldly channels. For example, drugs and alcohol dull our senses and might temporarily alleviate our pain. But true, lasting peace and serenity only come from God.

Isaiah 41:13

"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."

I love this verse. We are God's children. Just as a young child clasps his parent's hand when seeking help or reassurance, we can reach for God's hand in our times of need.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God"¦"

In times of difficulty, it takes faith to trust that things really will work out. Some of our trials might stretch on for years. We can choose to become bitter and believe that God no longer cares, or we can hang on. The next verse shows us what's in store if we don't lose hope.

Revelation 21:4

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."

Whether you consider yourself a religious person or not, whether you attend church or not, whether you've committed grave sins or not, remember that God loves you. He is your friend, and his spirit will comfort you if you seek him. He didn't send you to earth to fend for yourself. He knows you, sees you and loves you. He will fill your heart with calm and rest in your times of need, directing your path as you move forward.

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