Nope. I don't necessarily love this crazy parenting lifestyle. Never mind that I did "like"� the Facebook page titled "I Love Being a Mom."� But that was a hypocritical act. Sorry to burst the bubble of anyone who thought I was a sweet, diaper-changing, laundry-loving, meal-making, always-happy mama. The truth is, I don't love diapers. I don't relish waking up at all hours of the night. I don't love meals and endless cooking and mountains of chronic laundry. I don't prefer spending my afternoons driving around endlessly, dropping off and picking up kids from across the city. I don't necessarily like staying up nights helping with homework, or getting up early to pack nine lunches and chauffeur kids to their morning classes. These tasks are too often mundane.

"Well, then, what DO you love?"� you might ask. I'll tell you: I love sleeping in. I love ice cream. I love traveling. I love shopping when I can take my time and slowly look at everything. I love naptime when the house is silent without fire truck sounds or doors banging. I love moments when I am all alone and can gather my thoughts into one place. I love being me.

"But, you're such a sweet mom!"� so many well-meaning folks have said to me. Sure, I'm a sweet mom, I think as I struggle to lift three toddlers into a shopping cart, glaring at them when they pinch each other and firmly saying "No"� when they want candy at the checkout stand. Or when I play bad cop and hold my teenager to his commitments despite his grumpy protests. Motherhood certainly isn't for sissies.

"I could never be a stay-at-home mom,"� strangers have sighed to me more than once. "I just wasn't cut out to do that."� Well, the truth is, I'm often sure I wasn't cut out for this lifestyle either. It isn't easy sacrificing my personal aspirations and comfort to care for others. Some days I'd rather be looking out of the windows of a high office building, living the life of a CEO. Or run from meeting to meeting making grand decisions that will affect thousands of employees in an important company. I'm certain I could thrive at the United Nations. Or even as an attorney (my husband often reminds me that I do win every argument). At any rate, I'm quite sure that my skills are above diapers and laundry.

"Then why are you a mom?"� you might ask. Well, why does the athlete work out, or the hiker climb the mountain, or the doctor perform the operation, or the fireman enter the burning building? Not because athletes love pain, or hikers love exhaustion, or doctors love stress, or firemen love heat. No. Yet we feel driven to do what we do. We anticipate the victory at the finish line, the view from the top of the mountain, the life that is saved, the flames that are extinguished. We know that the prize will be worth the price. Any price.

I like hiking. Let me rephrase that: I love hiking. I love the trail under my feet, I love the passing trees, I love the songs of the wind. But I don't necessarily like the sweat, the pain and the sometimes-nagging feeling that the final mountain view might not be worth the toil to the top. I have moments on every hike when I think, "If I had known it would be this hard, I wouldn't have come."� Luckily, I recognize those feelings of despair when they arrive. I pause to take a break and then hit the trail again. And soon (usually shortly after my feelings of hopelessness), the peak appears around the bend and I reach the top. Once I see the breathtaking view below, my pain is more than compensated.

There is a euphoria - combined with incredible sights and sounds - which only those who've climbed a mountain can fully experience.

Motherhood is the same. There are moments of despair when I think I will croak at the sight of another diaper, or lose my top if someone else asks for a snack, or simply die if my sleep is interrupted one more time. There are days when I'm sure I can't possibly fix another meal, or deal with another cranky teenager or touchy tween or temper-tantrum toddler. There are weeks when I'm positive I'll never see the sun again, or survive the weeds in the garden, or the dirty dishes on the counter. Some days I know I'll melt into oblivion if I don't have at least 60 uninterrupted seconds in the bathroom.

These are the times when I don't love being a mom. But if I rest for a moment - even mentally - and then stand up again, clean up the next mess, change the next diaper, fix the next meal, tackle the next homework project or fold the pile of laundry, then suddenly my energy is renewed and I'm back on the trail. A little person says, "I love you."� A teenager earns an A grade. A flower blooms in the garden. A teacher sends a complimentary email. My family appreciates dinner. And I know that my mountain of motherhood is going to be worth it.

I may never be a CEO in a high-rise building, or mediate a diplomatic conversation at the United Nations, or win an argument in a courtroom. But there's something fulfilling about seeing nine children all bathed, fed, clean and tucked into bed after a busy day. There's something fiercely joyous about watching children grow and succeed, after nail-biting nights and weeping times. There's something happy about a sigh, when I can finally crawl into bed - my bed - and be all alone for a few blessed moments in the pink sheets, recording the triumphs and tragedies of the day in my journal.

And I'm sure these are just minor victories. The true reward will be years from now (granted, I survive this) when I'm rocking in a chair and turn up my hearing aid to listen to a child speak to me, or read a story to a grandchild or great-grandchild. Indeed, my efforts will last longer than any business or international triumph.

No. I don't always love being a mom. I AM a mom. And that is enough, because one day, when I stand on top of my mountain, my joy will be worth every trying moment which brought me to victory. THAT is why I'm a mother.

The post I DON’T love being a mom appeared first on FamilyToday.

When my first baby was 1 month old, I took him to have his picture taken. I laid him on a little rug on the studio table and the photographer snapped a few photos. It was easy! He was asleep. He didn't move. He didn't cry.

My picture experience a few years later was completely different. By then I had three children, ages 3 years old and under. The nightmare started as soon as we arrived. We waited in line for 45 minutes. When it was finally our turn, my children were fussy and hungry. Their once perfectly-combed hair looked like haystacks. Their shirts were hanging out, and their pants needed changing. No one would smile. No one would sit still. No one would cooperate. We took a few pictures, all with tears running down my 1-year-old daughter's cheeks. I finally gave up and took my children home.

I vowed that I would not relive such an unpleasant experience. The next time I ventured to a photo studio I had a plan and prepared for every possible mishap, including long lines and weepy children. This time, everything went smoothly, and when it was time to order prints, I had several cute poses to choose from.

Now, with nine children, I have had many positive experiences taking photos both individually and as a family. Although every experience is not perfect, I've gathered a few tricks of the trade. Here are some tips for taking nearly-perfect pictures with imperfect little people:

• Plan ahead - Many parents want pictures with their children wearing coordinating clothing. Plan your outfits a few days in advance of the photo session. Then, lay out all of the picture clothes the night before. Make sure you have every sock and every shoe, every hair bow and every prop you may want in the photo. Remember that splashes of contrasting colors add interest and variety. Be creative and think outside the box. One friend snapped a cute picture of her children's feet. Another friend took books for her children to read in a photo. Plan these details with ample time to gather what you need.

• Morning matters - Schedule your pictures early in the day. Children are brighter and happier in the morning. Serve a good breakfast beforehand. Children should eat in their pajamas, and then dress in their picture clothes. Ten o'clock in the morning is the perfect time for my children. Plan extra time with a newborn. When my twins were one-week-old, I scheduled an early-morning photo session with a photographer. Unfortunately, I didn't calculate dressing TWO babies before our appointment, and we arrived late. But, as a general rule, shooting photos when children are fresh is key to success.

• Practice makes perfect - Prepare your children ahead of time for the photo session. Explain who the photographer is, and what will happen at the appointment. If you are planning on traditional photos, practice smiling while you eat breakfast. Ask children to show you their "picture smile,"� and praise them in preparation for the real thing. This is especially effective with toddlers who may not remember what it is like to go to a studio but who love to be hams on camera.

• Dress to dazzle - Comb every hair and button every button before you leave your home. Although some of your efforts may unravel in the car as you travel, your children will only require touch-ups once you're at the studio. Dressing before you leave will also spark your memory if you have forgotten anything.

• Be prepared - Pack a bag with extras.

-Comb or brush

-Spray bottle to touch up hair before a pose

-Wipes to clean up unexpected messes

-Water

-Treats - cereal, bite-sized crackers, or fruit snacks work best

-Books and small toys for entertainment during waiting time

-Any coupons you need

• Plan to wait - In a perfect world, the photographer would be ready when you arrive, but most likely there will be some waiting time. Take books to read or other quiet activities to keep your children occupied. If you are in a shopping center, do some window-shopping to pass the time. Don't just sit and watch the clock or your children may start to misbehave.

• Bribes are OK - You need results on demand, and bribes can work wonders when smiles are at stake. They can be effective both during the sitting (a Cheerio or fruit snack can coax a smile during poses) and as a reward afterwards. Let children know ahead of time that there will be something special for cooperative children once the pictures have been taken.

• Stand back - At the beginning of the session, let the photographer know what you are looking for. However, as pictures are taken, stay out of the photographer's way unless she asks for your help. Let her do her job. If you need to express your opinion, be polite and respectful.

• Praise your children - Positive feedback works wonders during stressful times. Tell children how well they are doing, and that they look beautiful, handsome or cute. Encourage older children to set a good example for their younger siblings.

• Stay calm - Remember, these are only pictures. Sometimes, the imperfect poses make the most memorable photographs. Expect some frustrating moments, but stay positive. Although nobody is perfect, you can have practically-perfect pictures.

The post Picture Perfect: Helpful tips for keeping family portraits in focus appeared first on FamilyToday.

The task started pleasantly enough. I read a book about potty training in a day, and made the fateful decision that my child (and I) were intelligent enough for such a feat. After all, I had been successful in other avenues of my life (like graduating from college and learning a foreign language), and I saw no reason I couldn't succeed at potty training a child. I was confident that if I followed every step the book explained, my brilliant toddler would be an amazing success in just 24 hours. However, after days of constant messes, tears and frustration, I didn't like my son very much, and he didn't like me at all. I soon gave up.

Two months later, when time had dulled my memory, I attempted the potty training task, again. Yet after several days of tears (mostly mine), and some embarrassing scenes in public, I was once again forced to retreat.

After nearly a year of these painful power struggles, my next-door neighbor, Tina, calmly announced one day that she had started potty training her 2-year-old. I was shocked. Amazingly, she didn't seem stressed out at all!

During the next week, I watched Tina and took mental notes of her method. Then, bravely, I set out again to train my son. I mimicked Tina's nonchalant attitude, and was amazed that, within a week, my son was potty trained. It was an exhilarating feeling. Only a mother can appreciate the triumph that comes from having a potty trained child.

Since that grueling initial experience, I have potty trained eight other children - successfully, I might add - and would love to share the tips that I gathered along the way.

1. Stay Calm. My first mistake was to lose my cool whenever my son had an accident. Displaying negative emotion is detrimental. It leads to power struggles and the child not wanting to comply with this new concept of independence. No matter what the mess, put on a nonchalant face, express your confidence in your child's ability to master this skill, help him clean up and move on.

2. Keep at it. Once you decide to potty train, don't look back. Even though there will be accidents along the way, keep going. Starting and stopping the process shows discouragement and gives the child a card to play when he wants you to give up.

3. Trust the tot. Although it's difficult, trust your child during this time. Once he gets the hang of the process, let him decide when he should go. Aside from times you are leaving the house, simply ask, "Do you need to go?"� If he says, "No,"� let the subject drop. You'll be amazed at how he "steps up to the plate"� (or potty) when you put the task into his hands.

Following are some potty training steps that have worked for me. Adjust them to your lifestyle.

1. Choose your chair. Avoid potties where moms still have to empty the contents once a child goes. Use a seat that sets right on the big toilet. This saves some cleanup, and also lets you leave the child alone to do his job.

2. Start young. The older the child, the more independent he is. Children often need to "go"� during or after a meal. Watch for signs in your 1-year-old baby, and set him on the toiled chair just before or during a bowel movement. Don't scare him or make it a power struggle, just calmly "catch"� his messes in the toilet. Amazingly, you will soon sense when he needs to go, and he will stop dumping in diapers. The few minutes of effort needed to put him on the potty will be well worth the diapers and disasters you save.

3. Teach release. Once a child has been messing in the potty for a while, set him on each morning when he wakes up, before and after naps and before baths. Leave for a few minutes, then put his diaper back on and move on with the day. These moments will first be a "catching"� series, but eventually he will learn to release urine on demand - an important step in being independent.

4. Take the plunge. When a child is close to 2-years-old, take the plunge and put him in underwear. I use cloth training pants, and only buy one package of special underwear (pull-ups) per child. Stay close to home the first few days, and be prepared for some accidents. Use the pull-ups only when you need to leave the house. Eventually, your child will learn two things: first, to hold his urges longer and longer (don't fret if at first he goes every few minutes); and second, to feel when he must go.

5. Perfect independence. Teach him to pull his pants up and down, get on and off the toilet, wipe, flush and wash.

6. Done with diapers. During the next month or so, you will notice your child waking up with a dry diaper. This is worth a hug and a compliment, and soon he will be waking up dry every day. Without a big fuss, nonchalantly forget to diaper your child one evening and soon he will wake up dry without thinking twice about it.

If your child relapses, stay calm and positive, clean up the mess and move on. Your confidence will remind him that he can do it. Soon he will be back on track, and you will be victorious.

The post Training the tot without traumatizing the parent: Successful potty training tips appeared first on FamilyToday.

When my children were young, I knew that each Sunday I would spend only a few minutes in the chapel until one of my boys acted up and then I would be forced to make a hasty retreat. After many missed meetings (and nearly wanting to give up on Church myself), my husband and I finally decided to ask families with well-behaved children for tips on instilling reverence and respect. Following are some of the ideas we gleaned for teaching children to be church mice in the chapel.

Sit in the front

I originally resisted the idea of sitting at the front of the chapel with small children. Instead, it seemed that sitting in a pew as close to an exit as possible was a safer alternative. The family who shared this tip with us, however, insisted that it really worked, so my husband and I decided to give it a try. The following Sunday we bravely walked to the front of the chapel and sat on the second row. I felt that the entire congregation watched us as we struggled with our small children through that meeting, but we survived! Soon, sitting at the front of the chapel became easier, and now it's a habit.

We noticed several changes right away. The first change was in us. We were less likely to take our children out of church when they acted up because we didn't want to make the long journey back through the chapel. Instead, we endured their sudden outbursts of noise or bad behavior. When the children realized we weren't leaving as readily, the bad moments passed and they quieted down. The second change was in our children. With the podium right in front, they were much more attentive because they could see everything. And, there were no misbehaving children in front of us to imitate.

It is now our regular practice to sit in the front at any event we go to. It's an act of courage with young children, but it's definitely worth the risk.

Limit toys and snacks

Initially, I always took a large bag full of treats, books and toys to church. Whenever the children became restless, I would pull a magical "something"� out of the bag to keep them quiet for a few more minutes. Soon, however, I noticed that each week they wanted activities bigger and better than the week before. Each Sunday I tried to think of a cool "surprise"� I could pull from the bag right at their worst moment to distract them. Then I realized I was playing their game. They expected me to entertain them!

One week, my husband and I decided to leave the diaper bag at home. Guess what? We survived! Our children realized we were not going to entertain them, so they spent their time looking around the chapel or (hooray!) at the speaker. I was amazed how much more relaxed I felt when I didn't feel the pressure of entertaining my children. Now we let our children bring scriptures and a pencil to church. When they feel bored they mark their scriptures - a good alternative to treats and toys. And, except for a chew toy for the baby and a quiet book for our toddler, our diaper bag is just that - a diaper bag!

Dress up

While Sunday attire has become more and more a thing of the past, it is still helpful to maintain your own family Sabbath dress code. While this may not be the traditional Sunday hats of yesteryear, requiring best dress of your children (button-up shirts and ties for boys, dresses or skirts for girls) will naturally remind children that church is a place for our best behavior.

Practice reverence at home

One Sunday, it occurred to me that perhaps my children couldn't sit quietly at church because I never expected them to do it at home. I decided that a few practice sessions would be helpful. Each day that week I set the timer for 15 minutes and told the children we were "pretending"� to be at church. Then we sat on the couch, reading scripture readers. I demonstrated the behavior I wanted them to portray. I even put on soft church music to listen to. The children loved it! Not only did they learn to sit still, it gave both them and me confidence that they could sit reverently when they wanted to. I knew I could expect it of them at church, because they were reverent at home.

Trade babysitting duties

If you do have a young infant who must be taken out of church often, take turns with your spouse. At least every other week you should have a few reflective moments to yourself during the service.

Never give up!

Most parenting problems solve themselves as children grow and mature. Much of the misbehavior children display at church is a result of their age. Don't despair! Children grow and soon have the ability to understand and display reverence.

Parents may naturally struggle more with their first children as they establish a family standard for reverence. Be consistent with your expectations, and soon older children will model the correct behavior for church, and younger children will easily follow their siblings' examples. These ideas have worked for us and our growing family. And, I have even had moments of pleasant surprise when my children comment, "Guess what I learned at church today!"�

The post Teaching children to be church mice in the chapel appeared first on FamilyToday.