Really, who is holy enough to live up to standards of a judgmental God?

So I want you to think of God in a way that is exclusively beneficial, who does not have a "side" that will punish you when you make a mistake. Think of God as a loving parent, who would do anything He could to make you happy. Not a shallow happy based on possessions, getting your way, or even gaining worldly security. Because all worldly happiness is fleeting.

Happiness you get from feeling love, on the other hand, knows no boundaries and is intoxicating.

God has another name

So let's use God's other name for these purposes. Let's use the name that exposes His nature in terms other than "intellectual." Let's use Love, as His name.

Because there is no question that God is love. And, when you understand love, you understand that Love is God.

I'm not referring to the young lady type of "Oh, I love that dress on you, it's sooo cute," love. I'm talking about true love that is from the heart, the soul. True love is the source of all happiness. It is the only thing that is ever fulfilling and satisfying. It is limitless and indefinable; it is God.

Here are three simple ways to bring Love (God) into your marriage. These three ways are absolutely effective and reliable. So they come with some "warnings" of sorts.

1. Don't be afraid of "making a fool of yourself." These methods can only work when you use them, and they are uncommon in this world that is ruled by fear. So you have to be a little brave in the beginning...OK?
2. Don't look for, and especially don't "expect," outer reactions that will justify your efforts. Your spouse is not perfect. They will not necessarily be able to respond in kind. Do this for the internal responses - those will come, for sure!
3. Don't share this with others, outside of your husband or wife. People are afraid of good things that they are not familiar with. So they will undermine your confidence and efforts.

But these three things are scientifically correct. They have to work, as surely as wind bends the grass. So treasure these methods and make them habitual. Unfortunately, your other habits will not help you. It will take sincerity and, above all, determination. The good news is that they work - period.

3 simple ways to bring God into your marriage

1. Say "I love you" in a "new" way, at least three times a day. The new way I am talking about is like this. Imagine a door on your heart. And when you say "I love you," the door opens wide, and liquid love pours out of your heart into and around your spouse. The love is God... and God is love.
2. STOP any, and all, negative thoughts about your spouse - no matter how big, or small. No excuses, and no deviations from this effort. The absence of negativity in a sincere marriage is love - your souls. So stopping the mind from its wreak less meandering into useless negativity will allow the love to flourish. The love is God... and God is love.

I know I said three simple ways, but I didn't say three easy ways. This one is simple and gets easier. But learning to control the mind is a worthy science all by itself. The Marriage Foundation spends a lot of time teaching mind control. Without it, success is only a dream that will never come true.

Do something special for your husband or wife at least once a day strictly for the sake of pleasing them; and without any desire to get something in return. Sometimes it is better to do the something special without them knowing about your effort or desire. That way you will hear your mind complaining, and bring it back under control. An act of love is selfless and humble. We never know how much God is doing for us in the background. When you do something for you spouse, they are not aware of you are acting on God's behalf. The acts of love are God... and God is love.

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"The trend is your friend" is an old saying that applies to marriage as well as other pursuits in life. If your relationship is not moving in a decidedly positive direction, if you are not feeling more intimacy, more love, and more warmth for your spouse it is probably a good time to make a few little changes. After all, you have free will. So you might as well use your free will to make changes that will create happiness.

To revitalize your marriage relationship is relatively simple, especially in terms of how much you will get back for how little you will have to put in. But, first, you have to understand marriage is a "thing" that you can make better or worse with specific actions. Then, you can make your efforts line up with what you logically see as beneficial and avoid the detrimental behaviors. No sense making efforts that don't get you anywhere; right? You do have power.

Back to basics

If you consider the "socially normal" ideas about the origins of marriage, you will be very confused because it is thought to be a natural evolution from a form of slavery.

If you try to reconcile the higher, and truthful, ideals of marriage as a spiritual union (marriage is a spiritual union), with the worldly ideas of marriage as an essentially civil union, you will go around in circles.

The civil part of marriage is very important, because it sets the stage for the spiritual marriage. But the contract is not what marriage is about. Marriage is much greater. Marriage is about unconditional love.

Marriage is essentially a spiritual union between two souls. For this reason, all the efforts you make to revitalize your marriage should be made in that light. In other words, what you do should be positive, intentional efforts to expand your love.

3 habits that will revitalize your marriage

1. Curb your criticism

Criticism is the mind's way of protecting itself from threats that only appear to be threats to the subconscious mind. They are rarely valid. Your subconscious mind is on automatic. It calculates words or actions as threats without any input from "you", so you never know if your reactive criticisms are even accurate. The mind will react first and then it will come up with all the reasons for its reaction. But if you stop to analyze your reactions, you will find, more times than not, that your reactions are out of context. They are over-reactions. Do you see this? So your first reaction should be to stop your automatic criticisms. Play it safe. Don't voice it just because it is in your head, and don't accept it just because it is in your head. Curb your criticism.

2. Analyze your reactions

How often have you admitted to your spouse that you overreacted and you are a little sheepish? How much of your precious time did you waste in anger? Well, the truth is that's only the tip of the iceberg. When you get mad, and don't explode, you still have to deal with the anger in one way or another. All of that is wasted time. If you make it a habit to stop as soon as you feel even the least bit of anger (or a huge anger), you can analyze why your mind is reacting, and you can stop the negative domino effects before they begin.

3. Act only with love

Once you have stopped, then analyzed, the next step is to act with the wisdom you have. Wisdom always guides you to the solution that will bring harmony into your lives and harmony is the environment best suited for love.

We call the above the SEW method (it is in our marriage teachings) and it works very well.

S is for stop

E is for evaluate, or analyze, and

W is for wisdom. Always guide your speech, thoughts and actions with wisdom

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