It's never easy to face the fact that your spouse has betrayed you, especially when it comes in the form of some type of sexual betrayal. If you're not careful, you can find yourself falling into a lot of different traps that actually prevent you from grieving properly.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

1. Denying and minimizing

You don't want to believe your spouse is involved in any type of sexual addiction or that he or she has had an affair. In fact, it's much easier for you to pretend it didn't happen or to try to explain it away. It seems easier to ignore your feelings or repress your intuition that something's not right.

You may respond by quickly forgiving in order to move on. Or, you may make excuses for your spouse's behavior despite the evidence. Deep down, however, you'll realize you're not handling the situation properly, even though it feels safer for you to deny it or minimize it.

2. Abandoning the relationship

Or, you might react the opposite way. You move out. Or, you're really eager to immediately file for divorce. Another way you may "leave" the relationship is to stay angry, keep late hours at work or sleep the day away.

People handle pain in different ways to escape the heartbreak of betrayal. You might be surprised to find out, however, that sometimes there are other ways you can find healing and restoration in your marriage.

3. Fixing the damage

Perhaps your spouse betrays you and your first response is to try to fix the damage that's been done. Maybe you find yourself constantly obsessing over where your spouse is or suddenly becoming a detective to find out all of her secrets.

You might nag your spouse, buy books for him to read or even start dressing provocatively so you can get some type of positive response. These tactics never work, and they don't allow you to grieve well so you can heal from the pain of the betrayal.

4. Focusing on healing

Grieving is such a vital part of the healing process when there has been a betrayal in marriage. It's important for you to get the right kind of help when you're facing these difficult situations.

Find safe people to talk to. Rather than deny your problems, share your soul with trusted friends or therapists and talk about the struggles you're facing in your marriage. Also, apply the word of God into your life and marriage.

As far as how you should respond to your spouse, it's important for you to refrain from trusting him or her too soon. You need to set limits in your marriage in order for you to take the time you need to work through your feelings.

You will go through several stages during your grieving and healing process. It's important for you to not only face the situation and see it for what it is but to also take all the time you need without your spouse pressuring you to just forget about it and move on.

The post 4 different ways to respond when your spouse betrays you appeared first on FamilyToday.

It's interesting that those we love the most have the ability to hurt us the most. If you've been hurt emotionally by your spouse, you understand a pain that cuts directly to your heart. That type of pain is not easy to just "get over." Even so, in order for any marriage to thrive, there must be steps taken toward complete forgiveness.

Let's talk about that idea for just a few minutes today: complete forgiveness. What does that mean? All too often, we tend to say we forgive our spouse for something that was said or that was done to hurt our feelings. How many times do we really let those things go? Speaking the words, "I forgive you" is the easy part. However, have you been guilty of the following:

Bringing up past arguments?

Holding onto resentment in your heart?

Denying your spouse your love, affection, or even sex because of past wrongs?

In order for your marriage to be all that God intends it to be, it's vital to learn to forgive each other. Before you can do that, you have to come to the understanding that we're all imperfect people who live in an imperfect world.

We all make mistakes and say things we shouldn't say. God has grace for us; therefore we must have grace for each other. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul is explicit about God's directions regarding forgiving each other. He says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Is forgiving each other easy? Not usually. Is it necessary? Yes, it is.

Do you ever wonder if you will know if your spouse is showing true sorrow for hurting you? You can tell if your spouse accepts full responsibility for their actions and is determined to change by:

1. Feeling the damage they've done without trying to minimize, justify or blame.

2. Responding with total honesty when they're confronted with their behavior.

3. Asking for forgiveness for the hurt they caused.

4. Changing 180 degrees and are accountable to you for your destructive choices.

5. Focusing their attention on you and understanding that it takes time to rebuild and restore love and trust.

6. Being unwilling to compromise putting forth the effort to reestablish their relationship with you regardless of the cost.

Remember, there is nothing you can do to bring your spouse to repentance (change of mind). Your responsibility is to forgive and leave the outcome to God. Forgiveness is an ongoing process, which requires that you choose to forgive and pray for your spouse when the offense crosses your mind.

"A broken and contrite heart God will not despise." Psalm 51:17

The good news is God wants to help you! Through His love and grace in your life, He can lead you to a place of complete forgiveness. He wants your marriage to be whole, and He wants you blessed above and beyond anything you could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). His plans are perfect. All you need to do is seek after Him.

The post Warning: 3 mistakes that hinder complete forgiveness appeared first on FamilyToday.