1. Be flexible and you won't get bent out of shape

You are probably going to lose sleep, fail at a school science project, get thrown up on, and forget to pick up your child from piano lessons.

2. Don't fret about milestones

Some children walk at 9 months, others at 14 months. Teeth come in when they are ready. Children talk when they feel like it. (This being said, follow your gut if you feel that there are developmental delays that might actually be warning signs.)

3. Potty training will happen

You are probably going to try too early. That's okay. I know I did. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Don't fret: Every child will eventually potty train. Like my grandma said, "No child goes to kindergarten in a diaper." Trust in your own child's process.

4. Get the bedtime thing right

Studies have shown that this is a must. If you are having problems helping your child get into a healthy sleep routine, talk with your pediatrician.

5. Things get lost

You must, sadly, think of things like socks, hair accessories, and sometimes shoes, as disposable items that you will have to buy over and over. Most of these things will get lost before they ever wear out. Painful, I know. Just accept it.

6. Read, read, read

If you do one thing for your child educationally, read to them. Really, this can be one of the most important things you will ever do for your child.

7. Know their limits

Ever seen an all-out tantrum at Disney World? Even at the "happiest place on earth" kids get tired, hungry, and grumpy. Learn what your child's triggers are and try to combat them with awareness and prevention.

8. Try not to yell

Research shows that yelling can cause problems, both in childhood and adulthood. Stop mid-sentence, close your eyes, and regroup before you let off steam.

9. Limit screen time

Even though your 2-year-old might know how to program the DVR faster than you can even find the remote, be aware of the effects of screen time in young children.

10. Take time to teach values

Taking candy, biting a friend, and mistreating siblings are all things that deserve a conversation in a teachable moment.

11. Don't overschedule or overcommit yourself

Examine your own agenda and commitments, then have an honest discussion with yourself (oh, parents talk to themselves) to determine if you are simply trying to do too much, all of the time.

12.

Teach them to pray

Let them see you pray. Pray with them. Pray for them. You will not be at every crossroad of their lives; prayer is the best defense you can give them.

13.

Let them choose

Find as many ways as you can to give them the opportunity to make choices. What color of socks, which coloring book, what snack to eat. Give them experience early on with decision-making and the effects of their choices.

14

Avoid the

"compare and despair"

syndrome

My neighbor's son was enrolled in his first French class at three years old. My kid still wasn't even potty-trained. Celebrate the way that others choose to parent and trust in your own process of parenting.

15. Expect exhaustion, tears, and giddy joy

Oh, your child might also have these reactions, as well. Seriously, this is the hardest work you will ever do, at least until they become teenagers.

You only raise a child once. This doesn't mean you should expect perfection from yourself or your child. Learn together, grow together, and, most importantly, love together.

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First off, bless you in this endeavor. Secondly, let's define "successful." As far as I am concerned, a shopping trip with more than one child is successful when: (1) you don't lose a child/children (at least for very long), (2) your child does not "accidentally" shoplift items that you now have to return inside the store after you have just finished packing an entire week's worth of groceries into the trunk and buckled all three car seats - lessons on honesty can be so inconvenient, and (3) there are no "end cap display" emergencies, as in the entire display plummeting to the ground because your "helpers" were helping. *As a side note, single items that fall from shelves (and even break) should merely be deemed as an unfortunate occurrence and not absolute failure. In my book, even in this instance, you can still earn the "successful shopping trip" honor badge.

Here are some survival tips:

Be prepared

Keep gum/snacks/small toys hidden in your purse to aid with unforeseen emergencies in public. Expect that your little ones are going to be finished shopping before you are.

Be organized

Have a basic floor plan in mind and then create a written list of needed items accordingly. Nothing is worse than getting to the front of the store only to realize that you forgot the eggs at the rear of the store and passed by the peanut butter two aisles back. Also, stick to your list. Research has shown that 40% of consumer spending isn't planned!

Need for speed

Now that you're prepared andorganized, get what you need and get out. Don't tempt the fate of naptime and tantrums because you were lingering on the craft aisle too long.

Make your children part of the experience

Depending on the age of the child/children, let them help get the items that you need. I speak from experience when I say that children should not retrieve salsa in glass bottles or heavy, cumbersome gallons of milk-no matter how strong they say they are. Also, do not, under any circumstances, let your children talk you into getting more than one cart. Regret and achilles pain will surely be in your future.

Distraction

"Do you see the grapes?" "Can you find something yellow on this aisle?" You must use caution in this situation, however. After asking my 4-year-old to look for broccoli, a poised older gentleman looked disgustedly at me and said, "You know, your daughter has been licking those broccoli heads, you really should purchase them." Thank you, sir. It takes a village. We ate a lot of broccoli that week. A lot.

Naptime is sacred

Don't do it. Don't try to get that "last errand" done right before your child's nap. You will inevitably get stuck in the longest line behind the lady from "Extreme Couponing" and her three carts of toothpaste and Fruit Loops. None of these techniques can withstand the fury of the exhausted toddler. Really, it just isn't worth it.

Reward good behavior

. Say what you will about this tactic, but it can be a highly effective tool. Understand the

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"Call my cell if you need me," you say as you head out the door. However, does your babysitter really know what to do in case of an emergency?

In order to enjoy your evening away, post the following list on the other side of the cheese puffs:

1. 911 or the emergency contact number in your area

This might seem obvious, but it is important to discuss nonetheless. Be sure to specify what necessitates a call to 911. Things like uncontrollable bleeding, someone who is not breathing, or someone who is nonresponsive are all emergencies. Things like the family's lost cat or little Trevor's lost tooth are not.

2. Both parents' cell phone numbers

In the event that one parent's phone is turned off or unreachable, provide both parents' numbers. Consider including an address or addresses of where you will be for the evening. This is also the perfect segue for a pleasant and loving discussion with your older children about why you would rather not have them call 12 times about things they cannot find or to give you a minute-by-minute log of the dealings at home.

3. Names, phone numbers, and addresses of extended family

If you are lucky enough to have extended family living close by, these are the people that are most familiar with your children, your schedule, and the day-to-day intricacies of your life. If there is an emergency, and you cannot assist immediately, relatives can provide a calming stability for your children until you arrive.

4. Names, phone numbers, and addresses of trusted neighbors

This is valuable information whether or not you have extended family nearby. Talk with neighbors beforehand and confirm that they are willing to be on your emergency contact list. Make sure that the neighbors you choose are people that your children know well and with whom they feel comfortable. In the event that one of these neighbors needs to drive your child to the hospital, it will be much less traumatic for all involved if they have a pleasant and familiar relationship.

5. Name and phone number of a friend or relative living out-of-state

In the case of an extreme emergency such as a natural disaster, local telephone lines may become jammed, making it impossible to contact loved ones in your immediate area. Designate a contact person that lives out-of-state to receive information about the well-being of your family members.

For many parents, leaving children with a babysitter can be a stressful situation. We tend to worry too much and prepare too little. Follow theseΒ five suggestions and the only things you will have left to do are clean the house before the babysitter arrives, feed the baby, and try to find your left shoe.

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As parents, we want our children to learn to unselfishly live by the "Golden Rule," and to grow into thoughtful, aware adults. Finding and making time to teach children about serving others can be overwhelmingly daunting, but making service a natural part of your family's life will, over time, pay out the desired dividends.

Create balance

Try to balance your family's activities in order to make serving a priority. A wise man once said that "love is actually spelled t-i-m-e." Service requires time. A family that is exhaustedly overscheduled will find it difficult to even think about helping out at the local food pantry - not because they don't want to, but because they are simplyΒ too tired to figure out what theywill be having for dinner that night.

Be creative

Sometimes service is like a veggie, you have to sneak it in. You don't need to hang a banner in the living room announcing that your family will be raking leaves at Mrs. Jones' 3-acre lot. Rather, provide suggestion and gentle coercion, then hand everyone a rake and head out. In most cases, once you are knee-deep in the project, it ends up being a meaningful experience for all involved. (I am also not above getting ice cream after.)

Service is a way of life

Serving must be more about who you are, not what you do. The easiest way to do this is simply to listen and be aware. Find a need -great or small - and work as a family to fill it. Rather than just carrying out a major service project once or twice a year, mold your family into a family who serves year round. Help someone with a dead car battery, shovel snow for your next door neighbor, or let someone go ahead of you in line. These seemingly small acts work to create the kind of change that you desire.

Plan as a family

You just might be surprised at the ideas your children come up with when given the chance. Teaching your children to focus in on another person's needs and to be aware of others is just as vital as the actual service performed.

Involve them!

If you are delivering a plate of cookies to a friend, bring your children along. If you are in charge of a coat drive, let your smaller children help color the flyer, while your older children deliver the flyers and gather coats. Create dialogue as you are working together about the way you are choosing to serve.

Everyone has a story

Service is most beneficial for both the giver and the receiver when it is performed with a non-judgmental heart. Remember, the decision to serve someone doesn't grant us the right to pass judgment on them.

Be aware

Don't assume that just because you are trying to accomplish good deeds that your children will automatically be comfortable at a nursing home, children's hospital, or homeless shelter. The more opportunities you give them, the more comfortable they will become over time.

Praise your children

Take the time to notice and appreciate your children when they hold a door for someone or let a sibling have a turn first. Help them recognize how good it feels to live a life of service!

Big or small - it still counts

Service doesn't have to be measured by the grand scale of the plan or by the number of people served. Mother Teresa said it best when she said, "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."

Serving as a family can have its challenges, but the rewards and life lessons that evolve during the process will only strengthen your family and create a legacy of service. "Only a life lived in the service to others is worth living."- Albert Einstein

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Budget

Today's washers and dryers can do everything except squeeze fresh orange juice. Decide how much you can really spend before doing any actual shopping. The temptation to overspend on the bells and whistles can be overpowering. Remember, flashy machine colors don't get clothes any cleaner. Don't even look at machines that are out of your budget!

Measure first

Plan out where you will be putting your new machines. Measure your space and bring these measurements with you when you shop. This is also a good time to decide what configuration you will be using as some models will allow you to stack the machines to save space. Make sure your measurements allow space for plumbing, venting, and electric or gas hookups.

Gas or electric?

Don't waste time falling in love with a gas dryer when you have an electric hookup. Know your existing energy system before you go shopping. (This being said, you can actually switch from electric to gas, but should pay a professional to do it.)

Average laundry needs

How many loads of laundry do you do per week? Bear in mind that you will (hopefully) have these machines for a long time, so think about how life might change over the next 6-10 years with regards to doing laundry. Will you be adding a new baby in the near future? Will you be an empty-nester soon? The amount of laundry you do makes an impact as to what sorts of options are most important to you? Steam dryer? The ability to soak heavily-soiled clothing? The option to do a small load when needed? Energy efficiency? Determine the options that you can't live without, and then shop accordingly.

Rebates

Some agencies will offer rebates if you buy machines that are energy efficient. Don't assume, however, that just because a machine has the "energy-star" symbol, that you will get a rebate. Obtain a list of approved machines from your utility company or local government agency to bring shopping with you.

Consumer reports

When there is a poor product on the market, people are very eager to share their thoughts and negative experiences. Use websites that provide consumer ratings and reviews.

Do your homework, and be patient. Don't assume that you will come home with a new washer and dryer set the first day that you shop for them. Allow yourself time to do the research.

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Calories still count

pregnant

widening

Food still has the same number of calories, even if you are pregnant. The term pregnant is not a synonym for "free 9-month buffet ticket." Ouch. This was the mindset that my doctor prescribed early on in my pregnancy after he noted significant weight gain at my 10 week appointment. He might as well have slapped me upside the head with a gravied drumstick right there in the office. He then reminded me - as only a true New Yorker can - that I still had 30 or so weeks to go and I was headed down a widening path. I wiped away my tears of offense, and attempted to adopt this new mantra for the rest of my pregnancy.

Healthy substitutions

Cravings can sabotage a healthy diet; use wisdom in satisfying these cravings by being creative about your food choices while still satisfying your cravings. My incessant craving for beef tacos during my last pregnancy just happened to be in direct conflict with the above stated Rule #1. In fact, as far as tacos were concerned, the greasier, the better. For cravings like this that seemingly must be satisfied, try opting for a healthier version of the craved item. You can easily switch out beef for grilled chicken, omit sour cream, and load up on tomatoes, onions, and lettuce in that taco, while still cutting back on calories and fat. Hamburger craving? Would a veggie-burger do the trick? Must have a milkshake? How about a cup of yogurt with fresh fruit? If you absolutely must indulge a craving, try to be mindful about your food choices throughout the rest of the day.

Think like a diabetic

"Try eating more like a diabetic and less like a human vacuum," said yet another one of my doctors (I see a pattern emerging"¦) after finding that my glucose numbers were on the borderline for gestational diabetes. There is some discussion that adhering to a diabetic diet is actually quite healthy for everyone, even if you are not a diabetic. I was in the best shape of my life during my sixth pregnancy as I followed this premise of a diabetic diet by eating nutritional snacks regularly throughout the day, cutting out sugar (and refined flour), and maintaining controlled portions.

Exercise

Try to find time to move every day, or at least most days. Okay, some days. Incorporate more physical movement into your life. Walking, yoga, and strength training are all good examples of giving your body what it needs. Of course, there are some cases when pregnancy requires the use of caution and even bed rest. Consult with your doctor first to obtain clearance to exercise and then choose activities that you enjoy. You will find exercise just as crucial for the mind as it is for the body.

Add healthy calories

Avoid subscribing to the "But, I deserve it!" mentality when it comes to food. The American Pregnancy Association suggests adding approximately 300 additional calories per day during your second and third trimesters. These additional calories should be spent on wise choices like a glass of milk, a piece of fruit, nuts, and/or extra fruits and veggies.

You are doing amazing things like being willing to endure the loving sacrifice of pregnancy, labor, and delivery, but you really aren't doing yourself any favors by indulging in unhealthy behaviors. You do deserve to do something special for yourself - instead of reaching for that extra brownie, splurge on a pair of maternity jeans that are actually flattering!

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