Well.

Obviously this is a common question. And it probably gets addressed a lot earlier if you have children of both genders. How we handle this issue can define how our children see the opposite gender, and ultimately affect their personal relationships for many years.

So, no pressure.

Fortunately, there are some straightforward and simple ways to handle this topic without causing your child irreparable damage.

Be accurate

Answering questions will be much easier if your child has an accurate understanding of what you are talking about. Use technical and anatomical terms for your son's body. Call it a "penis" and "vulva" or "vagina" instead of a "winky" or "wee-wee." Using the cutesy words might be funnier, but correct terminology helps lay the foundation for successful comprehension later on. Similarly, your son has nipples, but not "little boobies." (Yes, I have heard a parent refer to their son's chest as his boobies.)

Be clear

Particularly in the preschool years, this is important. Euphemisms might make you, as the parent, a little less uncomfortable for a little while. But they ultimately cloud the conversation and confuse your child. Pause and think for a moment before answering a question. Glib answers or circuitous, rambling answers are far more confusing for your son.

Be concise

This ties in with the concept of clarity but takes it one step further. Brief answers with simple terms will be better received than long-winded ones. If your son has more questions, he will ask. Don't feel as though you need to address the entire female body and psyche all at once.

Be honest

Yes, there might come a question that is not age-appropriate, but usually simplified versions of the honest answers will be sufficient.

Answer the question that was asked not the question you're afraid of

One of my friends was asked by her 5-year-old son about why his penis sometimes was a little longer and harder. A sufficient answer would have been, "Sometimes your clothing or warm water will touch your penis and make it a little longer and harder." Unfortunately, she delved into a detailed explanation of erections and intercourse with her kindergartner. Their conversation left him confused, as was exemplified by a very inappropriate, out-of-context and physically impossible claim he made at playgroup a few days later.

Be scientific

Approaching the differences between boys and girls as simple facts will help you feel more comfortable with the topic, and make it easier to be fully honest. Wikipedia has a non-sexualized, labeled photograph of nude human bodiesfor side-by-side comparison. I have found this image much more useful than the more common hand-drawn, cross-section illustrations of the internal and external organs.

Emphasize kindness and respect

Young children are programmed to sort through their world, putting things into categories. If your son sees girls as something "different," there is a good chance he will - in his mind - categorize girls as something "other" or "apart." While it is important to recognize the differences between the genders, it is more important for your son to understand how he should treat girls.

As a preschooler, he needs to know that girls are people and should not be ostracized for their gender. Discourage the "No Girls Allowed" games. Emphasize that girls and boys are different, yes, but can and should get along.

As an elementary-aged child, he needs to understand privacy, modesty and how to respect and protect those boundaries.

As a tween, he needs to understand how a woman's body works. When your son learns about puberty and the changes in his own body, he needs to learn about the changes in a girl's body, too. Rude and hurtful behaviors can be curtailed if boys know and understand what girls their age are experiencing. A boy who understands the natural development of breasts and menstruation is far less likely to mock, tease, or torment girls for their inevitable development.

Teaching your son about girls can feel embarrassing at first. But through open and honest discussions based on your son's questions, you can teach him to understand and respect the female body.

The post 7 tips for teaching your little boys about girls appeared first on FamilyToday.

Transitioning from being a working adult to a stay-at-home parent is not always as smooth as you might think. Virtually everything about your daily life changes - sometimes in ways you might not expect. Recognizing these changes is the first step to accepting them and then managing them.

Change 1: Your daily schedule

As a working adult, your schedule was obvious: you wake-up, shower, go to work, take a lunch break, come home, run errands, amuse yourself for a couple hours then go to bed. On weekends, you take it easy and have fun. As a stay-at-home parent, your schedule is going to be completely erratic - at least at first. Especially in the case of a newborn, but even in older children, sleep schedules and daily demands are in constant flux, making it difficult to get into a routine. This is the change that causes you to look around at four in the afternoon, still in your pajamas, unsure of what day it is or if you've even eaten in the last 24 hours.

Solution: Force yourself into a routine

Even if you aren't willing to force your baby into a routine, toddlers and older children thrive on predictability, and you will, too. Pick a time to wake up, and be diligent about it. Shower regularly, and get dressed (in clothes you would be willing to wear out of the house if necessary) every single day. Prepare meals at reasonable meal times (even if they are microwaved). Yes, there will be days that your routine gets thrown out the window, but at least those days will become the exception, and most days will feel "normal."

Change 2: Interaction with other adults

In the workforce, you interacted with other adults on a regular basis. Even if your job was solitary, you had phone calls, emails, and meetings, not to mention a quick conversation with the guy running the deli counter where you bought your lunch. As a stay-at-home parent, your daily interaction becomes almost exclusively child-centered. Even conversations with other adults will revolve around (and be interrupted by) your children.

Solution: Get out of the house

Run errands, join a gym, join a mommy-and-me group, go to a friend's house, visit your sister or other family members or your neighbor, get to the park and stay until it gets busy. Sitting in your living room, interacting with adults through your laptop is fine, but it's no substitute for genuine personal interactions.

Change 3: Your daily to-do list

As a working adult, your daily to-do list was often defined by others - customers, bosses, clients or co-workers. As a stay-at-home parent, you and you alone are in charge of deciding what gets done on any given day. Self-motivation is often hard to come by, and everybody has an opinion on what is "really important" to take care of around the house.

Solution: Prioritize

. Make a list of what is important for you to get done, decide how much of it can be done on any given day, and divvy up the work into daily or weekly lists. Your priorities will shift constantly as your children grow and change so don't be afraid to reevaluate when necessary.

Change 4: Respect for your opinion

This is probably the hardest change to become accustomed to. As a working adult, your opinion is valued. You might even be considered an expert in something. As a stay-at-home parent, your opinion isn't considered at all, unless it's on child-rearing theories. And even then, those are just theories and everyone will jump in line to tell you how you're wrong. Your college degree (or graduate degree), your work experience, or the fact that you've been published in the most well-regarded peer-reviewed journal in your industry are all virtually ignored in the stay-at-home parent world.

Solution: Find something you feel confident in and build up a community around that skillset or knowledge base. This can be something from your Working days, or it could be something new. Find a way to use your skills and knowledge in a way that makes you feel accomplished and worthwhile. Surround yourself with people who support that feeling. Their support and respect for you will make it easier to brush off the naysayers who see you as "just a mom" or "just a dad."

The truth is, there's no such thing as being "just a parent," even if you are a stay-at-home parent. You are a whole person who lived and had goals and skills and a life before transitioning to being at home. And you still have all those things, you just need to find a way to successfully channel them.

The post Staying home: 4 tips for making the transition from full-time work to full-time parenthood appeared first on FamilyToday.

Use simple, straightforward language

When answering questions, explaining what's happening, or setting forth expectations, it's best to err on the side of simplicity. I certainly don't mean you should use "baby talk," far from it. But use clear and concise language, skip the idioms, and don't assume that they know who or what you are talking about.

Get down on their level

Whenever possible, look your child in the eye while speaking to him. Kneel, squat or even sit right down on the ground. You'd be surprised how much this improves their confidence and helps you to focus on what he is saying.

Stop and think before speaking

If your child asks a question, stop just a moment and think about your response, even if it's something you easily know the answer to. Compose your thoughts and give a straightforward, age-appropriate response. Too often we start talking before we think and we end up rambling and actually confusing the child more.

Have realistic expectations

Your toddler wants to listen to you, he wants to understand you. But giving him a list of seven things to do is just setting him up for failure. An 18-month-old is capable of understanding three or four sets of instructions at once, but probably not the way you think.

Three or four instructions for an adult looks something like, "I need you to go to the grocery store, get the oil changed on the car, drop the packages at the post office and pick up my dry cleaning." That's four distinct, separate acts, each one technically comprised of a dozen or more sub-acts.

Three or four instructions to a toddler looks more like, "I need you to go into your bedroom, get your shoes out of your closet, put them on, and then come back to me." To an adult or even an older child, "put your shoes on" is a simple request, but toddlers need specific instructions and each step feels like a completely new task to them.

Don't yell

Trust me, we will ALL fail at this. But yelling escalates emotions to no real avail, confusing your little one and wearing you out even faster. The less yelling you do, the better communicator you'll be. Period.

Help him or her be a better communicator

. Communication is a two-way street, and in order to have strong communication with your toddler, the toddler has to be an active and efficient communicator. Of course, no toddler is an efficient communicator, but you can help him or her develop that skill. Lead by example (the first five tips will help there) and give specific instructions when helping your toddler communicate. Consider the following:

"I cannot understand you when you whine. Please take a breath and ask me again."

"Look at me when you're talking, please. It's hard to understand you when you talk to the floor."

"Calm down, take a deep breath. Okay, now start again, what happened?"

Toddlers have a strong set of emotions that they're dealing with, and they need your help to focus those emotions and communicate effectively. A few simple tips for effective communication will make your relationship with your toddler so much sweeter.

The post Toddler speak: 6 tips to better communicate with your young children appeared first on FamilyToday.

Well, knew is a strong word. If I'm being honest, I was always afraid that I'd have an autistic child. I was pregnant during 2005 and 2006, and the news around autism was reaching a fevered pitch, but none of it lined up. There wasn't a lot of actual, useful information; just a lot of noise.

I remember feverishly researching autism when my son was young, checking off milestones as he hit them - or not - and tried to predict his neurological future. I was right, in case you were wondering. My oldest son is on the autism spectrum. Now that I've lived with him for nearly seven years, and now that I have a master's degree with a certification in educating children on the autism spectrum, I look back and wonder:

Why was I so worried?

I've come to the conclusion that my worry was caused by the images of non-verbal children who never expressed a single emotion. For many years, Dustin Hoffman's portrayal of Rainman stood as the quintessential media portrayal of a person with autism, and the image frightened many parents, myself included.

However, as we see autism grow in prevalence, 1 in 88 children in the U.S. struggle with some form of autism, there has been little in the way of depicting autism as something other than scary or weird. Had I known what my son was going to be like, I wouldn't have been so nervous.

And so I want to share a list of beloved characters who show some autistic tendencies, some of the traits that make my son who he is. These traits aren't big, bad or scary. They just are.

Mr. Frederickson - Up

Mr. Frederickson doesn't talk much, and doesn't seem to make a lot of eye contact either. He has a narrow set of interests which he focuses on. He relies heavily on routines and has a tantrum or meltdown when someone disrupts his routine. It's important to note that Mr. Frederickson had emotions, very strong ones. He wasn't unfeeling - but instead had difficulty expressing those emotions properly.

Flint Lockwood - Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Flint Lockwood fancies himself a genius scientist, but nobody around him believes in him. He has that narrow set of interests again, and struggles with interpersonal communications, even connecting better with animals than he does with humans. However, when he's given a chance to flourish, it turns out he really is a genius, and he just needed someone to see past his idiosyncrasies.

C-3PO - Star Wars

C-3PO is not, of course, a human. But since most of the Star Wars universe isn't technically human, who am I to judge? C-3PO struggles mightily with interpersonal communications. He's very literal and has difficulty understanding the human emotions around him, and is often baffled as to how R2-D2 can possibly understand what is happening between their human companions.

Garth Algar - Wayne's World

Garth likely has several diagnoses that would describe his character aptly. Some of his behaviors mimic parts of autism, though. Like the fact that he has difficulty picking up on social cues, struggles with social interactions, avoids making eye contact with anyone (except the camera), has a narrow range of interests, and seems to have some motor and other developmental delays. Notice that the word is delays, many children with autism will catch up eventually (though, of course, some do not.)

Spock - Star Trek

Don't get mad. This is one of those comparisons that some people get upset about, but there really isn't a reason to do so. Spock has a very limited range of emotions, and has even more difficulty expressing those that he does manage to understand. He's extremely literal, struggling to understand idioms and subtle things like body language and facial expressions. He's also extremely intelligent - displaying some of the savant-like tendencies that many people on the autism spectrum have.

I think if I'd had a positive frame of reference for some of these behaviors, I wouldn't have been so afraid of an autism diagnosis in my household. Now that I've lived with it, and now that I know just how wonderful this little boy is, I want everyone to understand that autism isn't necessarily a scary thing. It's just a thing. A thing that you're probably more familiar with than you think.

The post 5 movie characters who probably have autism appeared first on FamilyToday.

Whether you're a stickler who says the binky goes out the window on baby's first birthday, or more laid back and keep binkies around until kindergarten graduation, the fact remains that you will have to be the one to get rid ofΒ it at some point. Two questions arise: How do I know it's time to lose the binky? And, more importantly, how do I go about getting it out of my life?

How long is too long?

The first question is the trickier of the two, surprisingly. Most babies only need the binky while they still have a sucking reflex. The sucking reflex is a primitive reflex that all babies are born with (unless they were born prior toΒ 36 weeks gestation) and actually disappears by the fourth month of life (for preemies, use their adjusted age). Around the end of the fourth month of life, sucking ceases to be an involuntary reflex and becomes a voluntary motion. Just because it's voluntary doesn't mean it's useless, though. Babies will continue to rely on sucking to self-soothe long after their first couple of birthdays come and go. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all children be suck-free, both thumb and pacifier, by the time their permanent teeth begin coming in.

So, the good news is you can probably relax a little, letting the baby hold onto the pacifier for a little longer won't do any permanent physical damage.

It's hard to say goodbye

Keep in mind that daycare centers and preschools may prohibit pacifiers, and prolonged or constant use of pacifiers can inhibit the proper growth of permanent teeth. When you decide it's time for the binky to go bye-bye, here are some ideas to get you started.

First, decide up front if you are going to get rid of the binky cold-turkey or if you are going to wean your little one off of it. Whichever you decide: choose a plan of action and stick to it. Nothing is more difficult to overcome than a waffling attitude when it comes to parental policies.

The long goodbye

If you decide to wean the pacifier away, make it a sleep time only device. Some parents allow the binky to be used as a calming device whenever the child is upset, but this basically tells the child that she will get her beloved binky back if she gets really upset. Allow the binky only at nap time and bedtime, so your child can soothe herself to sleep, but during the day she has to find other ways to calm herself.

A short goodbye

If you decide to go cold-turkey instead, here are several suggestions for making a clean break:

1. Make a ceremony of disposing of the binkies

. Have your child find all the binkies and get a reward for turning them all in. Then toss them in the trash, making sure they cannot be fished out by a determined toddler when you aren't watching.

2. Pass the binkies on

. If there's a younger sibling on the way, or a baby cousin who needs the binkies, have your child donate them. Emphasize that binkies are for babies, and since he is so big now, he will not be needing his binkies anymore.

3. Turn the binkies over to the childhood authorities

. This one may take a little more planning and creativity, but parents who have gone this route swear by it. Childhood icons - such as characters at Disney, mall Santa and Easter Bunny, and the like - will gladly take a binky off your hands. You might think it sounds a bit silly, but they are all actually given dozens of binkies every single day, with a message to give it to a kid who needs it more. It's similar to the idea of donating the binky to a relative or friend, but the added celebrity-factor makes even the most reluctant kids willing to part with their paci.

4. Have a visit from the Pacifier Pixie

. Much like the Tooth Fairy, the Pacifier Pixie collects pacifiers left under a child's pillow and leaves a reward in return.

Remember, once you've made a decision, don't go back. And, remember: No child ever started college with a binky in their mouth, so chances are your little one will outgrow his attachment to the pacifier.

The post How to break your baby’s binky habit appeared first on FamilyToday.

That's significant, to say the least.

Finding couple time might be easy when it's just the two of you. Once kids enter the picture, things get a little more complicated. Enter the babysitter.

A good babysitter can save your marriage by making it simple for you and your spouse to leave the house - alone. You need that one-on-one time. Here's what to look for in a babysitter and how to go about finding one.

A good babysitter should have the following qualities:

Responsible

A good babysitter will pay attention to what is happening around them, prevent accidents and remember details about dinner time and bed time routines. Sometimes, especially if your baby sitter is a teenager, she will have little-to-no childcare experience. That's okay, you can check for responsibility in a variety of ways. Is she a good student? An accomplished athlete or musician? An entrepreneurial spirit? Any of these can foster responsibility.

Honest

A good babysitter is somebody you can trust to be unsupervised in your home. Are you worried about the sitter using your internet for unsavory purposes? That she will let her over-18-boyfriend in after the kids are in bed? These are red flags, and not something you should ignore.

Resourceful

A good babysitter needs to be able to roll with the punches, so to speak. He needs to keep his wits about him if your 4-year-old falls and knocks a tooth out. He needs to be able to think clearly in case of an emergency, and he needs to be able to discern between an inconvenience and an emergency before calling you.

Fun

While your children would put this attribute first, the other three are far more important. If you feel the babysitter in question is responsible, honest and resourceful, then you can ask yourself if she's fun also. Your children are more likely to respond positively and to behave themselves if the babysitter is fully engaged with them, so this is definitely a happy bonus.

So, now that you know what you are looking for in a babysitter, how do you go about finding this perfect person to care for your little angels?

First, ask for recommendations

. Your friends, neighbors, parents of your child's friends, teachers, coaches and other parents at school are all good resources for finding a good babysitter.

Second, talk to more than one sitter

. If the sitter is a teen, talk to the sitter's parents as well. Get a feel for her personality and ability to handle stressful situations. One big question that can give you a big clue as to how she will perform is, "Do you view babysitting as a job or as an easy way to make some quick cash?" When the sitter (and her parents) answers this question, really listen to what they say and how they elaborate on their answer. You want a babysitter who takes it seriously and will be on task when they are in your home.

Third, be upfront about your expectations

. Discuss her rate of pay, your rules about screen time, your expectations about internet usage and texting and her behavior with your children. It might be uncomfortable, but these discussions will give you a better sense of how successful your night will be.

Fourth, be detailed in your children's needs

. Write down information about your child's allergies, bedtime routines and major household rules. If your child has a special need, make sure the babysitter knows about it ahead of time.

Fifth, relax

. Once you are out of the house, resist the urge to call and check on the babysitter. If you've done your homework, things will be going just fine at home. Couple time is for you. Enjoy it.

The post Babysitters can save your marriage – learn to use them appeared first on FamilyToday.

Here are a few secrets nobody thought to tell you about those first few harrowing weeks after bringing your new bundle of joy home:

Your helpers won't actually help unless you ask them to

. Your home will likely be a hub of activity if you let it. Friends and family will drop by to visit you and the baby, often under the guise of helping out. Here's the secret: They all will want to hold the baby. Here's the other secret: You'll feel guilty asking them to do anything else. However, if you give in to that feeling of guilt, you'll begin to resent your friends and family. You'll be more exhausted, and you'll be missing out on the opportunity to bond with your baby. Be polite but firm, "Thanks, Aunt Jean, for coming over. I could really use some help in the kitchen today. Little baby Bobby just wants to be held all day long, and I haven't even thought about dinner yet!" People do want to help, but without direct instruction, they'll gladly sit on the couch with you. Make use of their proffered help, it will save you time, energy and give you extra snuggle time with your new baby.

Those post-birth bliss hormones wear off - quickly

Immediately after giving birth, your body surges with oxytocin, a hormone that is often referred to as "the hormone of love," making you feel blissfully in love with your baby. Within a week, though, your hormone levels (not just oxytocin, but estrogen, too) will drop to unprecedented lows. You'll feel like a lesser version of yourself - the opposite of the powerful feeling most women report during pregnancy. This is normal, even if it is disconcerting. Since your hormones won't perk you up, you'll have to be proactive and do it for yourself. Shower, do your hair, put some makeup and cute shoes on, and chase away those post-baby blahs.

It's easy to confuse the "blahs" with genuine depression

. Be sure your friends and your partner are aware of the signs of post-partum depression and keep an open line of communication. If you are feeling worse than "blah," or if the feeling is constant, talk with your doctor and get the help you need.

Commiserate

. If you have friends or sisters who have recently had babies of their own, talk with them. Listen to their stories of sleepless nights and diaper explosions and nursing nightmares. Let them share, laugh in retrospect and listen to their advice. You are not the first woman to bring home a confusing, albeit wonderful, baby. Learn from others and recognize that they still love their children, despite the difficulties they had at the beginning.

If you think something is wrong, ask a doctor

. Don't ask your friends (unless they are obstetricians or pediatricians), don't ask your mom and for heaven's sake, don't ask the Internet. Your friends and your mother mean well, but they aren't professionals trained to diagnose a problem or suggest a course of action. In all likelihood, they'll just share horror stories with you. The Internet is full of nothing but horror stories about post-baby problems. Most problems are not horrors, but easily fixed common ailments. It's best to consult your doctor or midwife if you have concerns about what is happening with your baby or your body.

Bringing home a new baby can be wonderful, but instead of perpetual bliss, it is still real life - just with a baby involved. It is possible to keep your wits about you and enjoy the experience of being a first-time parent.

The post This was supposed to be bliss: How to cope with the stress of having a baby appeared first on FamilyToday.

Remember that tantrums are usually a child's way of saying, "I'm overwhelmed and cannot deal with my emotions right now!" Keeping those two factors in mind (overwhelming situations and acute emotions) can help you deal with tantrums, even in the most embarrassing or inconvenient places.

Here are three universal steps to dealing with a tantrum, no matter where you are.

Prevention

Have reasonable expectations for your children, even on vacation. The Happiest Place on Earth is completely exhausting, and the most relaxing beaches can become boring. If possible, choose vacation destinations with age-appropriate activities for your children, and then prepare yourself for every possibility. Bring snacks, plan around naptime, and set clear expectations up front. If your daughter knows she needs to wait in line before getting to see her favorite princess, she's more likely to be in a reasonable mood upon reaching the front of the line. If she isn't prepared mentally for a wait, she's more likely to break down.

Remember the old adage, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?" Another way to think of it is this: "A well-behaved child is a well-rested, well-fed, and well-prepared child."

Diffusion

Remove the child from the situation, in any way possible. If you're in a crowded theme park or attraction, even stepping into a less-crowded restaurant or restroom can reduce the amount of stress your little one is feeling. Vacation destinations are often chaotic, even for adults. Children get overwhelmed more easily than adults and just giving them a quiet moment to breathe and calm down can work wonders.

This step is often the most difficult (and embarrassing) particularly when you are on vacation. The rest of the family is having a good time, but your 4-year-old is throwing himself on the ground and thrashing about because you will not buy him a 15-dollar balloon. This is when you have to remove him from the situation, get him to a place where he can finish thrashing, calm down, and listen to reason. This often requires picking the child up, or at the very least physically guiding him to a new location. Carrying or guiding a child who is in the throes of a tantrum can feel a lot like wrestling an oversized octopus, and is definitely going to attract unwanted attention from nosy strangers. Hold your head high, take solace the fact that every child in the world has done this at least once, and move on.

Stand Your Ground

Steps one and two will work much better if you know your child is not acting out in order to force your hand. The only way you can know this is if you do not give in to a tantrum. Your son screams about not getting his ice cream fast enough? Remove him from the situation, let him calm down, and then go back and wait - yes, wait AGAIN - for the ice cream.

A tantrum should never result in the child being rewarded. Once he or she calms down, your child can return to the activities and follow the same set of rules as everybody else.

Tantrums can become the bane of your vacation if you let them, but following these steps - no matter how tempting it is to give in - can diffuse a tantrum and help prevent future ones.

The post Are we having fun yet? 3 tips for handling tantrums while on vacation appeared first on FamilyToday.

A tantrum is your child's way of saying, "I don't know how to deal with what is happening to me right now!" Here's a quick way to identify what is happening with your child and how to help her deal in order to diffuse a tantrum:

If your child is throwing a tantrum because he is not getting something that he knows he is not allowed to have, ignore it. Continue your conversation, go fold laundry, turn up the radio in the car, whatever it takes. He knows the rule, he knows a tantrum will not change your answer, so there is really nothing to be done. Make sure he's safe, but let him scream and thrash around on the floor. He'll get tired, much faster than you think.

If your child is throwing a tantrum because he simply cannot control his emotions, speak softly. A child who doesn't know why he is crying needs someone to help him calm down. Obviously, yelling or shouting is only going to stress him (and you) out even more, so do the opposite. Speak in a soft, calm voice, and make simple and calm requests. "I can't understand you when you're crying. Can you say that again, softly?" Once he starts to calm, you can identify his emotions for him and help him find a more productive outlet. "You're angry because Jenny took your toy? That makes sense. Did crying help get the toy back? No? What could we do to get the toy back? Let's try that instead."

If your child is throwing a tantrum because she is overwhelmed, remove her from the situation. This might mean leaving a cart full of stuff in the middle of Target, or boxing up your restaurant meal before taking a bite, but if your child is having a meltdown because she's tired, over-stimulated or otherwise unable to handle her emotions, nothing is going to help. She needs a change of scenery, a chance to "reset" and get a grip. This is when a time-out can work wonders. Set her down someplace safe where she can burn through the tantrum, wait until she calms down, then talk to her about a better way to handle herself. If she successfully navigates the time-out and calms down, she can return to her activity.

If your child is throwing a tantrum because she is deliberately pushing your buttons, flip out. That's right. Do not scream and yell at your child, just act ludicrously hysterical about something else. Pretend to become distraught because the remote control doesn't work, or because there isn't enough milk in the house. Be completely over-the-top with it, demonstrating how silly a tantrum looks and how unproductive it is. It will shock your child and give you an opportunity to talk about better, more productive ways to handle your emotions. Plus, it gives you a chance to burn off a little steam.

The post Ready, set, stop! How to diffuse a tantrum in 10 seconds or less appeared first on FamilyToday.

According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AACOG), your first gynecological visit should occur somewhere in your early teens or when you become sexually active. A teen's first visit may be informational only, with no pelvic exam, if she is not sexually active and does not expect to be sexually active in the near future. Women over the age of 21 ought to have a full exam done by their ob-gyn every three years to screen for cancers.

An ob-gyn is your first stop for questions and concerns regarding anything specific to women's health. This includes women's cancers (cervical, ovarian, uterine, breast, and vaginal), sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and contraception, hormone disorders and other disorders of the female reproductive system such as endometriosis and uterine fibroids.

Ob-gyns also assist women with overall health maintenance, screening for depression, managing a healthy weight and screening for other health issues.

A healthy relationship with your ob-gyn is important, as he or she will likely be your strongest advocate for your personal health.

If you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, be sure that the ob-gyn is still actively practicing obstetrics. Delivering babies is a stressful, time consuming practice and many ob-gyns drop the "OB" from their calling card at some point during their career. You should ask if they are planning to deliver babies for the foreseeable future, as this is a major change that is unlikely to happen overnight. Changing providers mid-pregnancy is not fun for anyone involved.

Five quick things to consider when looking for a new ob-gyn

1. Insurance

Does this provider accept my insurance plan?

2. Office location

Is this provider's office in a location that is convenient for me? This is especially important to consider if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, as you will likely visit the office up to twenty times during your pregnancy and recovery.

3. Office atmosphere

Does the office make me feel comfortable? Ob-gyn exams are extremely personal and being relaxed makes them more bearable and more successful.

4. Hospital connections

Does this provider have rights at a hospital I am comfortable with? Often ob-gyns have rights to only one or two hospitals, and women's health issues often result in hospital visits.

5. Additional care providers

If your ob-gyn is unavailable, how will your needs be met? Is there another doctor in the same office who will take care of you, or will you be referred to a triage hotline or another office in town? If a nurse practitioner or physician's assistant (both highly qualified medical professionals) will be tending to your routine care, how and when will the ob-gyn be introduced to you?

After you've checked the quick issues, there are several more complex questions that need to be addressed. Finding the answers to these will take a little more research, but they are very essential to ensuring your ob-gyn is a good match for you.

Does this provider pay attention to my needs and my issues?

A provider who blows off your complaints of a heavy period or pain during intercourse is not respecting your needs. Yes, these complaints may be common, but that does not mean they should ever be ignored.

Is this provider's plan for my health in line with my own?

If you are staunchly against contraceptives or family planning, you don't want a provider constantly insisting you take measures to prevent a pregnancy. Or vice versa, if you want or need to put off childbearing for any reason, your provider should be assisting you to do so, not trying to convince you otherwise.

Does this provider encourage natural or alternative medicine at the rate I would like?

Some providers are very open to alternative medicine when it comes to regulating the female body, but many are not. Some providers will immediately prescribe medication for any and all complaints related to female cycles, while others will have their patients adjust their diet, sleep schedules, exercise routines and other habits. If you plan to have a drug-free birthing experience, you don't want a provider who will pressure you to have an epidural.

A relationship with your ob-gyn can be successful, so long as everybody is on the same page, and your expectations are clear from the beginning.

The post Things to know when looking for an OB/GYN appeared first on FamilyToday.