If you find yourself telling your child that every piece of artwork is wonderful, ask yourself if you may be saying, "That is so pretty," without really thinking or paying attention. Sometimes we say something just to acknowledge a child who's madly chanting, "Look, Mommy, look! LOOK!" Yes, it is easy to just stop the crazy with a quick compliment, but piling on hollow words is exactly that: hollow. Instead, I believe in being truthful with our children.

I find that when complimenting a child, it's important to be specific and comment on things they have the control to improve. The details in praise let kids know we're really paying attention. It gives them a glimpse of themselves from a parent's point of view. In my work with new parents, I've experienced that throwing around the "good jobs" doesn't work to improve kids' self-esteem in the way so many parents imagine that it would. Sure, it's important to notice the good things our kids do, and telling them does build their confidence, but how we do it matters. Broad brush strokes of "that's wonderful" don't do the trick.

Instead of unconsciously throwing out the "it's beautiful", I've learned it's definitely more effective to point out how well a child concentrated on a project, or how she kept working at something without giving up, even when she was frustrated. I love to tell my kids I'm proud of how they tried something new, even though they were nervous, or how they used eye contact and thanked the coach after practice. It's being more mindful and productive in praising them.

Being honest in our praise doesn't mean being hurtful or critical. It means not boosting them up without merit. Praise should be earned, and kids know that. Broad and general kudos don't feel sincere the way detailed, honest, and earned praise does.

Sincere assessments of kids' actions and achievements will go further than shallow fluff any day. It allows them to see themselves in a positive light and to build upon that. When kids feel good about a skill or talent, or a job well done, they will seek out opportunities to do more of that. The good will grow. If they are continually heaped and doused with generic, non-distinct praise, that serves as a demotivator. Kids won't work as hard. They won't feel positive about themselves and won't push themselves no matter how much, or how little, effort they've exerted.

Children feel undeserving when they know praise is unearned. The flip side of not offering empty compliments is that kids really feel proud when they get deserved applause from their parents or other adults in their lives. Our kids they know we appreciate it when they create something original that shows their efforts.

So give your kids specific, earned praise. They'll appreciate it and know that you're honest with them and that you mean what you say.

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As soon as I crossed the Toot-Line, that non-deliberate fart gave him permission to fart in front of me as well. This could be seen as a deterrent, arguing against my assertion that you should fart in front of your husband, but a solid marriage needs to be a safe place, a cozy spot of acceptance, honesty, and truth. Where else in the world can you be totally, unconditionally, wholly you? Cherish that freedom and the license to be yourself right down to the littlest details.

Marriage is unlike other relationships. We all have our bestest girl friends, sisters, cousins, aunts, and mothers, but we hold it in for them. I don't know of any woman who farts around her girlfriends. We're even shy about passing gas in a public restroom if there's anyone else in the room, aren't we? Women in book clubs or on school committees don't flatulate around each other. Even women living as college roommates or best friends on a road trip don't intentionally fart together. Women hide it with others. We hold it, we wait, we excuse ourselves to be alone. But, with our husbands, we should go for it! Let her rip!

Farting is natural and healthy, and it's not natural or healthy in a strong union to ignore or hide a part of who you are. You share your intimate personal story, home, coffee, body, and toothpaste with your man — why not share breaking wind, too? It's as normal as tears, laughter, and turning your head at a chirp from your phone.

Biologically speaking, Dr. Oz says that it's not dangerous to hold in your poots, but it can cause abdominal pains, bloating, and cramps - all for no good reason. It's a scientific fact that women and men pass the same amount of gas in a day - almost a half a liter. (It's going to have to come out sometime.) Plus, if the guy's going to see you give birth and have your boobs leak, he better be able to embrace a little puffer. Or a big one.

In a way, farting in front of someone is a test of how far the relationship will go. Are you able to be 100% who you are, stinks and all? My husband says of my first fart, "I loved that you let me into a different personal space. When you have to hold it in, it hurts, and when you're sharing your life with someone, share it all. You don't want it to hurt." See why I'm married to him?

For better for worse, in sickness and in health, we vowed to stick together through the tough stuff along with the happy times. Marriages survive unimaginable losses and staggering pains, and struggle through illnesses and disasters. Make your marriage enduring and steady by being completely and honestly you. Give of yourself freely, and welcome all of your husband generously, to build and grow a worthy foundation.

Farting in front of your husband is a way of demonstrating your closeness and your intimate connection. Besides, farts are just plain funny. Couples who fart together, laugh together, and if you can laugh together, you've got the stuff of a great relationship.

Share your farting tales. Do you remember the first time you farted in front of your husband? How did he react? Are you still holding them in?

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Here are 6 birthday ideas for teen girls.

1. Heart's Desire Days

Let your daughter design the day and select everything you do. We've had paint-your-own pottery outings, horseback riding, hiking trails, and train rides into New York to see a Broadway show. Heart's Desire Days can be planned by giving your teen a budget for her to plot out the day, or you can brainstorm a menu of options that suit your family budget. Get creative. Go bowling, fishing or rollerskating; visit a museum, the movies or a faraway friend.

And, of course, whatever the day has in store, the Birthday Girl gets to pick the meals for her special day. Burritos or burgers, Italian or Japanese, the food choices are all up to the kid-of-the-day from breakfast to dinner. And, of course, there's always a birthday cake, or birthday ice cream, or birthday pudding or birthday cookies."?"?

2. Camping Party

Crazy parents that we are, we've taken ten girls overnight camping to a nearby campground. Yup, instead of the quick hour and a half party at the local trampoline park, we opted for a twenty-one hour party. Tents, campfires, s'mores and ghost stories.

Instead of packing it all up and heading out (though I liked not having to worry about cleaning the house before or after, let the crumbs fall where they may) you could host a camping party in your backyard. Pitch tents, use a fire pit and let the girls shriek with flashlights in the dark.

Favors and activities Provide a trail mix bar, do a scavenger hunt for things found in nature or a contest to find the oddest piece of trash (collect it to toss as they go.) Personalize bandanas or lanyards for flashlights, one for each girl.

3. Half Birthday Celebrations

If your teen has a winter birthday, but instead of sledding or skating she wants a pool party, a camping party, or a beach Heart's Desire Day, offer the option of celebrating on her half birthday. Even a summer kid might want to change things up and host a snowman contest or a Snow Ball dance party instead of her usual BBQ. Teens can delay the fun and enjoy the planning during the wait.

Even when our December baby has chosen to fete on her half birthday, we always acknowledge her real birthday with a family dinner, her choice of menu, cake and candles and a gift on her actual birthdate."?"?

4. Cooking Challenge Party

For a teen who loves to cook or follows the top TV cooking competitions, gather her friends into teams and provide baskets of ingredients. Lay out some rules to start, set a timer, and let them concoct and create. They could compete course by course from appetizer to dessert, or just cook up one dish. Invite some friends or neighborhood judges to do the tasting.

Favors and activities Give out cookbooks and chef's hats, decorate aprons and swap winning recipes."?"?Doggie bags for all.

5. Sleepovers

I have to admit, I don't love sleepover parties, but the kids sure do. The squealing starts when the first girls arrive and seems to persist until after pancakes the next morning. Really, we all know there is so little sleeping going on that the event itself isn't truly the issue, it's the next day's. The second day after a non-sleepover can be painful for the whole family, one seriously grumpy teen spoils the household.

On the upside, a teen girl can plan and run the whole party by herself. Just provide the food, snacks, pizza and they're on their own.

It isn't always popular, but collecting cell phones and assorted electronics when they arrive, or at least at some point before they "go to bed," can allow girls to unplug and to really share and connect.

6. Look Back as You Look Forward

Whatever my kids choose, birthday party or Heart's Desire Day, one of my favorite parts of the kids' birthdays is our tradition of snuggling up and retelling their birth story. In detail, I tell them all about the day they came into our lives, how they joined our family and the moments that uniquely define their birthday. Teens love hearing about themselves and don't outgrow childhood tales.

We share the memories from the day we celebrate each year. Their stories have become familiar to them. They plead to hear certain parts again, and they ask questions about themselves as babies. Sometimes we look at baby pictures or watch the beloved family videos from their earliest days.

Whatever birthday traditions you've had in your family, continue them as your girls grow into teens and young adults.

A teen girl's birthday marks the gift of another year, so let her choose whatever way she wants to revel, whether birthday party, Heart's Desire Day or even a dreaded sleepover.

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