A regular day

I had intended to go to a doctor's appointment with Holly, my wife, the first appointment of her third pregnancy and after, take my 4-year-old son to the 5A State Football Semi-Finals. The game would end just in time for me to get ready for a date night with my sweetheart and the kids would enjoy a fun-filled visit from Grammy.

A routine visit

At the doctor's office, I did what anyone my age, gender and lack of maturity would do and joked with Holly about the pictures in the office; they're so graphic when the mood is light.

This appointment seemed to go on forever. We got there 15 minutes early, Holly filled out the paperwork while I played on my phone. Holly was checked for vitals and weight, where we were told ourΒ doctor had to run and deliver another baby. Holly packed up her things as they ushered us into the lab to do blood work; more than an hour passed and I realized I wasn't going to make it to the football game.

Once the doctor came into the room, we started with the normal pleasantries and congratulations. After running through the paperwork, and as a last step, the OB brought out the ultrasound machine.

The beginning of the end

The doctor struggled to find the baby but dismissed it as, "You're the third person today that has had too much in the way to see the baby." The next ultrasound was a little more invasive; not for me - I was fine - but for my sweet wife.

Holly's doctor grew suspiciously quiet, then began with the questions of when we first tested positive for pregnancy and first day of last menstrual cycle.

The doctor, while questioning Holly, began cleaning up the equipment. She then helped Holly sit up, stepped back, easing into a perched position on the rolling stool and said, "The baby is measuring at about 6 weeks. Based on when you said you learned you were pregnant, you should be measuring at more than 10 or 11 weeks. Holly, I cannot find a heartbeat, I'm sorry; this looks like a miscarriage."

So many questions, so much confusion and then - the emotion.

The heartbreak

My eyes tingled as tears coated them. Holly was so strong and it wasn't until she spoke that I heard and saw her heartbreak.

"I'm sorry," she said, her cheeks damp and eyes red, "It's just we've been trying for so long now."

Holly's doctor was great; she gave us a tremendous amount of information, which was very helpful. I learned, however, on our quiet, tear-themed ride home, Holly didn't hear a word. Her mind raced as she reflected on the impressions she'd had over the last four weeks. She knew and had felt something was wrong but didn't want to vocalize it.

Thanks to text message, we didn't have to rehash the bad news with the limited number of people who knew we were expecting. Though impersonal, it's a wonderful tool to avoid the recharging and depletion of full emotional range.

The healing

We've learned just how often this happens. We've learned just how many other women, in our small circle of friends, have also felt and dealt with the loss of a hopeful new pregnancy. We've learned what happens next and what to expect over the next few weeks and months.

Your heartbreak is personal to you; and, it's important to acknowledge there is at least one other person dealing with this very same issue - your partner. There are a few things you can do, together, to help deal with your loss.

It's not your fault

Recognize your miscarriage is not the fault of either of you. The American Pregnancy Associations says that up to 25 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (our doctor said she thought it was closer to 40 percent).

Talk it out

Together, talk about your miscarriage with your friends, family and ecclesiastical leaders. You'll be amazed at the overwhelming amount of support you'll see and feel as you identify how many other couples can empathize with your situation.

Take care of yourselves and each other

Remember, you both need to take care of yourselves. Eat healthy, exercise and do not put your lives on hold, expecting additional focus on your miscarriage - and intent to conceive again - will promote a more positive, future outcome.

Don't give up hope

More than anything; DO NOT give up hope, EVER!

Miscarriage can be so difficult. Everyone handles it in their own way. Use this time to draw closer in your relationship and to feel the love and support of family and friends.

The post Miscarriage: A husband’s perspective appeared first on FamilyToday.

I made a decision, about a year and half ago, which nearly ruined two very good friendships of mine. It's a situation which brought on much embarrassment and I want to publicly acknowledge the issue, so others wouldn't make the same mistake.

The decision: I accepted the invitation to go jogging.

The plan was to jog nearly the distance of a 5k, by the time I reached the first "k," I was trying to figure out how I was going to fake an injury. Several times, I wanted to stop, take a break and turn around.

These two friends NEVER stopped!

At one point, on the way back, I was walking briskly with my hands on my hips, very "catwalk-esk" while one of my friends (we'll call him David) was literally jogging circles around me and my other buddy (Mike) was running backwards.

I was so mad!

Then I started thinking, "How could these two, just working out once or twice a year, eating whatever they want (donuts, McDonald's, extra cheese on virtually everything and scarfing Hostess - RIP: Twinkie), be in such good shape?"

Well, it's because it's not just a couple times a year they work out. They are constant in the observance of health. I'm not saying they're perfect, but they are consistent.

In fact, not that I've seen it, but I've heard rumored you can see Mike at the gym running on a treadmill, at an incline of 10, speed of 7 and with 30lb dumbbells raised above his head - FOR WARM UP!

Consistency is an eternal law

- a truth whether it is secular or spiritual. A never changing, never ending, constant regardless of the situation. Because it's human nature to look for the easy way out, we don't honor flakiness or spotty behavior. We recognize great perseverance, dedication and consistency.

In 1995, Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig's record for consecutive games played. In September of 1998 after playing 2,632 consecutive games he, voluntarily, ended the streak.

This means, if you were to put all those games together, started playing one day and continued every day till you got to this same number - without EVER missing a day - you would play for nearly seven and a half years. When he was inducted into the Hall of Fame, he had the highest vote total ever by the Baseball Writers Association of America.

If you want to succeed, and more importantly advance in your career, be cognisant of the principle of consistency.

Promotion and advancement are sums of a consistent effort to not only do and be your best, but to perform just a little bit more than expected. You want a promotion? Here are 4 ways consistency will get you there:

Consistency in Reliability

My wife once said of me, which I try to live up to in every situation, "If Rich says he'll do it, he will do it." My very first promotion came when I told my boss he could call me anytime for help. I received a call the very next Saturday asking me to come into the office. I sat with a client who traveled during the week and could meet only on the weekends, (though my job was Monday through Friday). While meeting with the client, my boss watched me navigate easily through the new software. On Monday I was given designation to oversee the training of all employees and move quickly up the charts when it came to additional responsibility (which in-turn moved my income up as well).

Consistency in Self-Improvement

It's easy to take a lunch break, hang out in the car and catch up on some time alone to decompress (and sometimes it's necessary). However, if you can take a few minutes of your free or personal time, ask your employer for an opportunity to learn a new task, to recommend a book or even allow you to shadow someone else.

Consistency in Positivity

You will not find a senior level executive who is negative about the company for which he or she works stay in a position of power for long. Positivity breads positivity. If you maintain a positive outlook, especially about your department, team and specifically employer you will be not only find yourself happier in your occupation, but others will find you more enjoyable as an individual.

Consistency in Selflessness

In my business I see people who offer assistance and demonstrate their hand, palm up, in search of compensation. These individuals will almost certainly do the same thing to a competitor of mine, selling me out for whomever of us offers the bigger cut. If there is someone who needs help, help them. Do it without the thought of, "What's this going to do for me." You'll be amazed at, not only the immediate response of the person you are helping, but the future relationship you will develop with this person - giving you both a mutually beneficial (whether professional or personal) association.

If consistency were easy, no one would grant it attention. This is why you, being consistent in doing the right thing, will succeed and receive recognition for your efforts.

No Olympic athlete signed up for the games and won without a consistent effort to master their sport. Neither did I receive any award for the one time I backed away from the monitor long enough to lace up my shoes and begrudgingly struggle to find my way home, after the first half of my "friendly" jogging experience.

I've since forgiven my friends for subjecting me to such misery. However, I've learned to be more consistent, when asked to go jogging, to say, "No, thank you."

This article was originally published on FamilyShare.com. Check out these other related articles: Make the most of your hard work: 8 career tips, Never work a day in your life. Tips on choosing a career and Top 10 degrees for financially successful careers.

The post Haven’t been promoted? Try this principle to change that appeared first on FamilyToday.

In our house, we don't swear; or at least I didn't think we did. We're not completely innocent. If a "swear word" is uttered, it's usually preceded by a relatively serious occurrence, such as an injury or the surprise visit from an in-law (though I elect to not share from which side of the family).

Several months ago, my sister and her family from Boston was visiting and staying with us. On Sunday morning, during one of her stays, both of our families all sat quietly on the church bench awaiting instruction. It was then, during a transition where only silence, and the occasional baby coos could be heard, my son elected to share with me a thought, which he expressed proudly in his outside voice, "Dad, when I see a 'Bad Guy' I will say, 'Oh S***!'"

Laughter, from three rows back, passed our bench and another two pews in front of us enveloped our area before I could thrust my hand over my surprised son's mouth; in an effort to thwart additional explanation.

When dealing with aΒ child who utters "less than attractive words," no single measure can break all children of the habit. However, here are a few ideas that have worked for us and our kids:

1. Try not to overreact

• Remember, they don't necessarily know that it's a "bad word" until you explain it.

• As the son of a psychotherapist, one of the things my father always asked me, when I misbehaved, "Are you not getting enough attention?" When we give something enough attention now, it registers with our children that they can use the same method to bring focus when the child feels ignored.

2. Quickly (but calmly) explain why your child should not say that word

• However, in some cases when you say to your child, "That's not a nice word," their interest is peaked and they've now logged this information in their little heads as something they can use at a later date.

• For my son, this works. He isn't looking for trouble; however, my 3-year-old knows what words are bad, and she will consciously choose to say them (mostly under her breath).

3. Give your child an alternative word

• "Hey, that's not a nice word. Instead of that, why don't we choose a different word like darn or shoot? Would one of those be better?"

• Allow them to make up their own funny word (just make sure it's socially acceptable). For example, my son said, "Chicken Toot" for a little while. It was annoying, but better than the alternative.

4. Do not ignore the behavior if you want the behavior to change

• The only thing worse than ignoring the behavior is to threaten to take action if the behavior persists and then NOT follow through.

I was in a hotel, preparing for meetings the next day when I got a surprise phone call from my childhood best friend. We chatted for a minute about the weather in one another's locations when he said, "Oh, I heard what Landon said in his Primary class."

Surprised by the comment, considering my buddy literally lived an entire state away and I hadn't heard a report of anything humorous from his teacher or his mother (my wife) so I inquired.

It was then that he shared with me the narration given to him, from his wife, who heard it from my son's teacher.

The story, without all the details, pertained to a third member of the Godhead. You know, "The Holy"¦ The Holy"¦ Come on kids, help me out, here"¦ what's the answer I'm looking for?... The Holy"¦"

My son, who's story sounds like an urban legend (but it's true), pompously answered, "Holy S***!"

Rome wasn't built in a day.

The post What did he just say? 4 ways to curb a youngster’s foul-language habit appeared first on FamilyToday.