Your kids have a mother and a father for a reason. You can either help or prevent your husband from being a great father. Are you standing in his way? Watch out for these 12 mistakes some woman make:

Criticism

Criticism rarely brings about positive change. In fact, it actually wears on a person's sense of self-worth. In order to be our best self, all people need to feel capable. If you notice something your husband is doing that you think warrants criticism, stop! Think about your own shortcomings and ask yourself, "would it help me to hear my spouse constantly criticize me?".

Expecting him to parent exactly as you do

Men and women are different. We bring different strengths to parenting. One is not better, both are necessary. However, children do not come with training manuals. Your husband is finding his way, just as you as finding yours. Accept how your husband interacts with your children. He is forging his own kind of relationship with them.

Hovering

When your husband is with the baby, take the time to get something done, even if it is just to catch up on sleep. Let your husband have his time with his child. He can handle it. Even if he makes mistakes, children are very resilient. It's no doubt that you have made some of your own.

Demanding

The demands on your husband are greater than ever before. Don't add to his stress. Take care of your own needs as much as possible. This doesn't mean that you suffer in silence, just that you are realistic with your needs. Set aside a specific time each week to discuss family concerns. Set goals for the future. Don't expect all your wants and desires to be fulfilled immediately.

Diverting his attention from his work

When your family is young, your husband's main purpose is to provide support. If you pull his focus to home and away from work, he may not be able to achieve his goals. Make sure there is a balance. Include him in household and parenting decisions and responsibilities but remember there is a time for everything. Can your question wait until he is home? If it can, then don't interrupt his workday.

Criticizing him in front of the children

This goes with point #1 but is so much more important. If you find the need to be critical make sure it is never done in front of the children. Your attitude towards your husband affects your children's attitude toward him. If they constantly hear you criticize him, they will not respect him either. He is your son's role model. Your daugher looks up to him. Don't ruin that respect by public criticism.

Living beyond your means

You may notice your friends buying new (fill in the blank). Just forget it. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Set up a budget and stick to it. Accept your lifestyle and plan to live within your means. The pressure of unrealistic expectations makes it difficult for your husband to focus on being a good father.

Not taking joint responsibility for finances

Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, you need to take responsibility for the financial stability of the family. Choose to stretch your money and avoid debt at all costs. The stress of debt can ruin family's joy faster than anything else.

Not allowing him to love you

A man needs to love his wife. Don't make the mistake of being so busy with your children that you have no time or energy for your man. A husband who feels loved by his wife will have more patience and love with his children than the man who feels frustrated and unloved. Give your time to your spouse.

Not accepting his love

After having a family, sometimes women can begin to feel unlovable. Do not make the mistake of believing your husband couldn't possible love you. The reasons we come up with are numerous: "I'm too fat, too old, too tired, I blew it, I'm guilty. How could he love me?" Trust your husband when he says he loves you.

Belittling him to others

There are those things about your husband that can be frustrating but don't give in to the temptation to vent to your friends or family. Venting may make you feel better, but your friends won't forget what you've complained about.

Preventing him from visiting his children

If you have separated or divorced your husband, think of the kids. While you divorced your husband, they will never divorce their dad. If they don't see him, they feel abandoned. At this point, it is no longer about you, it is all about them. If you want your kids to have a good father, don't stand in his way. They are still his kids and they still need a great dad.

Don't let yourself stand in the way of your husband becoming a great father.

The post 12 ways you prevent your husband from being a good father appeared first on FamilyToday.

Criticism never really brings the change you want, so don't waste your time and energy. Instead listen to H. Jackson Brown, Jr.. He said "Let the improving and refining of your OWN life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others."

Are you committed to not being critical? If so here are ten things you SHOULD say to your son-in-law:

1. "Is SHE treating YOU right?"

This shows your son-in-law that you know he is a good match for your daughter. And that you have faith in him. Not long after my youngest daughter married, I asked my son-in-law this question. The answer was "Yes!" as I had expected. My daughter cracked up because when his mother called, she asked her a similar question: Is he treating you right?

2. "Wow- this is amazing!"

Acknowledge the good things he has done such as improvements around the house, fixing the car or teaching the kids a new skill. Always be on the lookout for things your son-in-law has done. Make sure to show your approval. Everyone enjoys recognition when they've done something well. (Be sincere because hollow praise is just that- hollow.)

3. "Don't give up."

Support your son-in-law as he strives to improve. Don't focus on what he hasn't done yet. Rather, offer words of encouragement and know in time he'll achieve his goals. You'll be glad you were not a stumbling block to his progress. Instead you will share his joy knowing that you stood behind him.

4." _ (insert your daughter's name) never seemed happier."

Give credit where credit is due. Noticing the positive influence your son-in-law has on your daughter will encourage that positive influence to continue. This will lead to a healthier relationship that fosters your daughter's successful marriage.

5. "Can you help me out with ...?"

Seeking advice is one of the best compliments you can pay. Ask your son-in-law for help or advice in areas where he excels. Make sure that you don't become a burden by over doing it. His wife and kids may take all the extra time he has. However, an occasional request shows you recognize his strengths and sends a positive message.

6. "What are your plans?"

The holidays should never be a time of dread because of YOU. Before making holiday plans, ask what your adult children have in mind. Consider that your son-in-law will want to spend time with his parents and catch up with his siblings and their families. Try celebrating before or after the special day. The main thing is communication and a willingness to not always have your own way.

7. "Dinner's on us."

Young families don't always have dining out in the budget. Providing a gift card to his favorite restaurant is a real treat. Beware! You don't want to send the message, "I know you can't provide, so I will." As a birthday or anniversary gift, your kindness will be appreciated.

8. "Can I watch the kids for date night?"

Offer to watch the kids to give your son-in-law one on one time with his wife. This is a win-win situation. You get to spend special time with your grandkids and you're doing a favor for the parents. Couples need regular time alone together, especially as their family grows. Show that you are supportive of the marriage relationship. Make sure to plan fun activities your grandchildren enjoy. This way everyone will look forward to date night.

9. "Can we Skype or FaceTime?"

If your son-in-law lives in another city or state, offer to Skype or FaceTime with the kids. This, again, is a win-win situation. You'll spend time getting to know grandchildren better. Mom and dad have some regular free time even while living far away from family.

10. "Thank you for being such a great father to my grandchildren."

Never forget that your grandchildren are the wonderful people they are, in part, because of your son-in-law. Letting him know that you sincerely appreciate him will boost his esteem as a father and may encourage him to want to do even better.

In the words of H. Jackson Brown, Jr., "Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you."This applies to your son-in-law. When he married your daughter, he became one of your children. Keep this in mind and his achievements will amaze you. One day, when his children marry, you may even notice him following your example.

The post 10 things you SHOULD say to your son-in-law appeared first on FamilyToday.