Amy Cook – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Fri, 08 Jan 2016 14:33:22 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Amy Cook – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 7 hilarious prayers that (my) children say https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-hilarious-prayers-that-my-children-say/ Fri, 08 Jan 2016 14:33:22 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-hilarious-prayers-that-my-children-say/ My daughters' top seven prayers may have elicited some laughter, but they convey fundamental truths about prayer that have changed…

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"You, mother, father! Teach your children how to pray," admonished Pope Francis in his weekly catechesis on the family in Vatican City. By finding time to pray, we "give time back to God," rediscover "peace in the important things," and "discover the joy in unexpected gifts."

I sincerely believe that praying is a direct line to God and that He wants to hear from us. But, let's be honest - sometimes my prayers get a little stale. The same cannot be said for my four daughters, who have taught me how to pray from the heart with their sincere, albeit slightly off-topic prayers. Here are the top seven prayers that my girls have said "¦ and have taught me a lot about praying in the process.

"Please bless that I can save people ... because I'm a spy." Maia, age 3

This prayer occurred after hours of playing "spy" with her brother, Jacob. I first thought that she had the heart of a saint in her desire to save people from sin by proclaiming the Good News of the Gospel. But, instead, she was having a hard time drawing the line between fact and fantasy.

What I learned: Our desires should be selfless, regardless of what our reality looks like.

"Please bless that we will be nice ... and won't tie up our families in the living room." Jenny, age 3__

Again, I thought this prayer was very sweet until it derailed in the middle of the sentence. This prayer occurred after my husband and I inadvertently let Jenny watch an action flick that was obviously too mature for her. But rather than complain, she internalized it and prayed that it would never happen to us.

What I learned: If you're worried about something, pray about it. Any worry is meaningful to God.

"Please bless that we can have fun at Disneyland and Seaworld." Hailey, age 3

This prayer is not hilarious in and of itself - the comedy came after listening to the same prayer for 365 days of the year. That's right - Hailey prayed every single day that we would go to Disneyland. And after about nine months of waiting, we went.

What I learned: Persistence pays off.

"Please bless that we will be safe and funny." Hailey, age 4

This, to me, was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Hailey prayed for about a year that we'd be safe and funny. I'm not sure whether I was given much "funny," but I was safe and she was certainly funny enough for the both of us.

What I learned: Pray for the inner qualities you desire.

"Please bless that we'll close our eyes during the prayer, Hailey." Lizzy, age 8

As the second oldest sister and resident boss of the "little kids," Lizzy is mature beyond her years. It's not often that our house is quiet and everyone is listening to one person. The one exception is prayer time. So Lizzy took the opportunity to educate her sister about prayer ... during the prayer. The result? Hailey closed her eyes.

What I learned: Timing is everything.

"Please bless that when it's one person's turn to say the prayer, the other person doesn't say it." Jenny, age 7

Following her sister's lead, Jenny took the opportunity to educate her little sister, Hailey, about prayer etiquette. But rather than taking a direct approach, she opted for something more subtle. She hoped that Hailey would learn from Jenny's wisdom and understand that the "other person" was, indeed, Hailey. The result? Hailey kept interrupting Jenny's prayer with a prayer of her own.

What I learned: Be direct.

"How are you doing? Are you having a good day?" Lizzy, age 6

This prayer made me laugh at first. How sweet (and worthy of a chuckle) to ask God how His day was going. Wasn't He beyond having a bad day, after all? But the more I reflected on this simple prayer, the more I realized that this is something I need to do in my own worship. I need to remember that God is real, that I can talk with Him, and that He can actually communicate with me.

What I learned: Prayer is a conversation. Remember there's someone on the other end of the line.

My daughters' top seven prayers may have elicited some laughter, but they convey fundamental truths about prayer that have changed my perspective. If my prayers are focused on selfless desires; if they are heartfelt, persistent, sincere, relevant, and direct; and if they are spoken with the desire to receive answers, then they will be more meaningful and yield the peace, happiness and communion we all seek.

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To the woman wishing she had a different body https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/to-the-woman-wishing-she-had-a-different-body/ Mon, 28 Sep 2015 06:30:01 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/to-the-woman-wishing-she-had-a-different-body/ Before you blame your lack of cleavage for your lack of friends, think about what is really motivating your desire…

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"You know what I wish?" My neighbor and new mother confided over lunch. "I wish I wasn't so ashamed of my body."

My neighbor is a beautiful person with four healthy and adoring children, yet I understood. Many women would empathize with her desire to feel more beautiful and be more confident about their appearance.

It isn't a matter of vanity. For many, it's celebrating the family they brought into this world but wishing that sacrifice hadn't taken such a physical toll on their bodies.

Cosmetic surgery. The very topic has a polarizing effect on most social circles. But in today's world, the perimeter of aesthetic medicine and plastic surgery reach beyond going "under the knife." Although there is plenty of that, too. When facing sagging breasts or a jowly jawline, how can we know if seeking cosmetic surgery is the best option? Here are 3 things to think about.

Are you looking for a better version of yourself or the copy version of someone else?

Often a patient's disappointment stems from expectations placed too high on the outcome. Kate Middleton has a fantastic nose, but not everyone can successfully pull off that same feature.

"Understanding what can be done given your personal situation is something you need to talk to your surgeon about." Wrote Christina Haller in the article, The pros and cons of plastic surgery. "If you walked in with Sarah Jessica Parker's nose expecting to walk out with Natalie Portman's and instead ended up with Anne Hathaway's, you have to be alright with that."

Another thing to consider is what is truly motivating this desire for change. Would this procedure bring about an inner confidence that is lacking due to a physical condition or is this desire motivated by a need to be accepted?

"Having low self-esteem as a result of a physical attribute you're not happy with can affect all areas of your life," wrote Haller. "There's nothing wrong with thinking you could be happier, as a result of being more confident, if you could put your best face forward. Remember though, surgery is not a cure for deeper issues such as depression or jealousy. Be sure you are working through the root of the problem before going under the knife."

The idea of pursuing plastic surgery is to improve what already exists. Don't expect to come out of surgery looking like a Victoria Secret model with tons of friends and a trouble-free life. Instead, your goal should be attaining a younger, firmer version of yourself that enhances a stronger inner self.

Do you need a procedure or just some pampering?

As new technology in aesthetic medicine is being introduced, many women are finding satisfaction in "treatments" instead of "procedures."

For example, a local company called Venus Concept has perfected a technique that offers patients a non-invasive treatment using a Multi-Polar Radio frequency that delivers fast, homogenous heating deep in the dermis where collagen is located without damaging the epidermis. This "massage" performs deep penetration, lymphatic drainage and stimulates both fibroblasts and circulation. In layman's terms, this means 30 minutes in a chair creates softened laugh lines and wrinkles, tighter skin, contoured upper arms and abdomen.

"It created subtle changes," explained KUTV Channel 2 media personality Shauna Lake. "Changes that made people say, 'You look great and well-rested.' Or, 'Have you lost weight?' After the first day I noticed results. That was really the only assurance I needed."

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, doctors are seeing the biggest increase in nonsurgical procedures with Botox leading the list followed by chemical peels (Hyaluronic acid), hair removal, microdermabrasion, and photo rejuvenation.

If you are feeling dissatisfied with how you feel or look, rather than focusing on major surgical procedures, first consider less committed options such as regular massages or non-invasive techniques that improve your appearance.

The cost

Because most procedures are considered an elective surgery, that bill is yours to pay in full. For example, breast augmentation can cost upwards of $4000 to $10,000Liposuction can reach totals of $11,000.

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, Americans spent 12 billion dollars on cosmetic procedures. "Of that total, more than 7 billion was spent on surgical procedures and more than 5 billion was spent on nonsurgical procedures."

What was the most popular surgical procedure this year? Liposuction replaced breast augmentation as the top procedure with eyelid surgery, tummy tuck, and nose surgery completing the list.

"In 2013, more than 2.5 billion dollars was spent on injectables alone. In addition, nearly 1.9 billion was spent on skin rejuvenation, a fast-growing sector of the aesthetic nonsurgical industry."

"A significant increase in the number of both cosmetic surgical and non-surgical procedures suggests that people are once again investing in their appearance and perhaps have more disposable income to do so," notes Michael Edwards, MD, President-Elect of ASAPS. "Given the state of the economy and the competitiveness of the job market, we expect to see the numbers for anti-aging procedures continue to increase."

Keep in mind, this isn't the time to settle on the cheapest bidder. Be sure to consult with a board- certified doctor who understands your desire, has experience in that type of procedure and can be someone you trust to handle the surgery well.

The "face" of cosmetic surgery is definitely changing. It brings with it exciting and affordable new options that are changing the way women view themselves. By considering your expectations, your motivations and the financial impact this decision may place on your family, you can consider whether or not cosmetic surgery is the right choice for you.

_Written by Amy Cook for Healthyliving.care_

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4 simple things missing from your fitness routine https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/4-simple-things-missing-from-your-fitness-routine/ Tue, 15 Sep 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/4-simple-things-missing-from-your-fitness-routine/ Congratulations. You have made exercise a part of your daily routine. So, why don't you feel more excited? It could…

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Do it.

Get out there and exercise.

It's good advice. The advantages of leading a healthy and active lifestyle have been well-researched. But after investing in the cute exercise clothes, and selecting the ideal activity, what happens when the preparation for a daily fitness routine proved more interesting than the routine itself? Something is missing from your workout. Could it be one of these?

Variety

An avid runner friend of mine looks forward to her daily three-mile run; mainly because her focus is on clearing her head, not the road before her. For the rest of us, shaking up the routine can keep our pursuit of fitness fresh and interesting. Also, the advantage of alternating cardio days with yoga days creates a routine that benefits all aspects of overall health. This is especially true when encouraging your family to get fit. One day can be devoted to Pilates, the next day can be a family bike ride.

Setting Goals

Set a goal then put it writing, suggests the American Diabetes Association. "Writing goals down can help. Put them in a place where you will see them often-on the refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, or in your purse or wallet."

Focusing your energies on accomplishing something specific adds two benefits. First, it creates an incentive to achieve a new level, a heavier weight or a greater distance. Also, your body benefits from the new challenge. In this way, your body keeps working and gaining strength or endurance in the process. Second, it creates an opportunity for you to see how you have progressed. That can build incentive to keep going and challenging yourself further.

Broadening your idea of fitness

If your workout is feeling monotonous, it's time to expand your view of exercise. Dancing, tennis, kickboxing, paddle boarding, softball, pickleball, among other things, provide varying degrees of cardiovascular exercise and can ignite a renewed commitment to daily exercise. Also, it is a great way to make daily fitness a family activity. A backyard game of Bocce can encourage family members of all ages to participate. At times, we enjoy our solitary moments during exercise, but exercise that encourages socializing is a great balance and gives daily fitness that staying power to remain a regular part of your routine.

Waiting to exhale

With the pressures of life weighing us down, one of the most effective fitness routines focuses on making you emotionally fit. All it requires is that you learn to breathe. Diaphragmatic breathing has been effective in controlling high blood pressure, reducing stress, slows the aging process and encourages the release of serotonin.

"Breathing is the very first thing you do when you're born, and it's the last thing you do before you die. It must be important. "Really important," wrote certified RKC trainer Geoff Neupert in the Men's Health article, The Most Important Exercise Missing From Your Workout. "It balances out your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, allowing your body to function more optimally. It helps reduce the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, which are more often than not elevated due to stress-filled work environments and a lack of sleep."

If you have made the commitment to build a better body for yourself-congratulations. You are on the right path to better health. But if your workout routine is feeling more like a chore than a blessing taking a look at alternating activities, goal-setting, alternative forms of exercise and remembering to breathe through life may be just the thing missing from your workout.

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8 truths no one ever admits about miscarriages https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/8-truths-no-one-ever-admits-about-miscarriages/ Fri, 15 May 2015 06:34:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/8-truths-no-one-ever-admits-about-miscarriages/ It happened. You had a miscarriage. Despite the fact 1 in 4 pregnancies miscarry, the term is still whispered in…

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I was 17 weeks when I had my final miscarriage. I didn't feel anything except for a little bit of weakness. But then I started bleeding - more and more. I was rushed to the Emergency Room, but it was too late - about three weeks too late.

I needed a blood transfusion, but the doctors decided against it. I spent the night tossing and turning in a room with a threadbare blanket and a night nurse who wouldn't give me medication. My husband had gone home to take care of the kids, and I was alone.

It took me months to recover from losing my unborn baby boy. But educating myself on the facts of miscarriage helped me to understand it wasn't my fault, and it happens more than we might realize.

Here are eight truths about miscarriage that shed light on the situation:

1. Approximately 25 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage

Around 1 in 4 women who become pregnant experience a miscarriage, the loss of a baby before 20 weeks gestation. Of those women, roughly half of them miscarry before they have even realized they were pregnant. Losing a baby so early on in a pregnancy is usually a sign your baby was not developing correctly and most likely had no chance of surviving to term.

2. Your lifestyle can affect your chances of miscarriage

Your physical health, before you become pregnant, affects your baby's development. Because the early stages of pregnancy are so critical to a fetus's development and it is impossible to know when the moment of conception occurs, it is best for you and your partner to cut out smoking, drinking and recreational drugs when you are trying to conceive to lower the chances of miscarrying or affecting your baby negatively.

3. The age of your partner can affect your chances of miscarrying

Most people know that the age of woman affects her chances of carrying a healthy baby to term. A woman under 35 years old has around a 15 percent chance of miscarrying but a woman over 45 can have up to a 50 percent chance of miscarrying. Not many people realize the age of your partner can affect your baby. In a study presented by Oxford Journals, it was found that if a woman was age 30 or older, then the age of her partner could affect the risk of miscarriage.

4. If you have had one miscarriage, then it will increase your chances for another

While it is possible to carry a baby to term after having a miscarriage, the chances of having another miscarriage will increase. A woman who has had a miscarriage in her past has a 25 percent increased chance of having another miscarriage.

5. Having a miscarriage is a process and not a single event

Miscarrying can be one of the most painful experiences of your life, both physically and emotionally, and unfortunately it is not over right away. Once a miscarriage has started it can take up to three weeks to naturally end the process. Some women opt to use medical procedures to hurry the process along. The emotional pain you experience can last a lifetime, but there are ways to help you through it.

6. Do not be afraid to turn towards others for support

A miscarriage is a traumatic event that you have the right to mourn. A woman who miscarries is a high risk of developing depression and anxiety. In times of loss, we need support. This is the time to turn to your friends and family. If you feel uncomfortable with reaching out to those close to you, try turning to a counselor, therapist, or miscarriage support group. Remember there is no right way to grieve, it is okay to process your loss however you need to.

7. Miscarriages affect men, too

Even though your husband may be hiding his signs of grief try to remember he is also experiencing a loss. Just like there is no right way for you to grieve, there is no right way for your husband to grieve either.

8. How to lower your chances of miscarriage

Miscarriages cannot always be prevented, but there are ways to lower your chances of miscarrying. By exercising regularly, eating healthy, managing your stress, maintaining a healthy weight, taking folic acid daily, and eliminating smoking, alcohol consumption, and recreational drug use you can increase your chances of a healthy pregnancy.

Yes, it is a difficult time, but that doesn't mean you must suffer in silence. By welcoming support from others who care, you will find comfort in the experience of others and find strength to move forward to a healthy and hopeful future.

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3 annoying tips for handling weight issues https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/3-annoying-tips-for-handling-weight-issues/ Thu, 30 Apr 2015 06:31:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/3-annoying-tips-for-handling-weight-issues/ I appreciate the good intentions of friends and family. But when it comes to weight loss, some comments carry more…

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Is it just me, or is it getting harder to lose weight? In my younger years, dropping a few pounds simply meant drinking more water and running an extra 10 minutes each day for a couple of weeks. Now that I am older, my efforts often bring about disappointing results.

These days it seems many celebrity moms appear to give birth one day and fit comfortably in their size 2 skinny jeans by lunchtime the following afternoon. Yet for the 108 million Americans currently dieting, losing weight is hard. And for those seeking long-term results and drastic lifestyle changes, it is also a very slow process.

Relying on the encouraging support of others is an added bonus to an already challenging experience. But sometimes that so-called support creates a new set of challenges to the process. Amid the most admirable set of intentions, are you providing the right kind of support? So in recognition of a dieter's effort to literally lighten one's load, here are some myths that illustrate the unhelpful nature of the best of intentions.

1. "You did this to yourself."

Yes, that is true. However, we often don't understand why we create these difficult circumstances for ourselves.

"Obesity is caused by complex imbalances within a person's body and his or her environment," explained Dr. Eleazar Kadile, who specializes in treating patients with obesity. "Some imbalances are exacerbated by poor dietary choices based on bad dietary information, personal history, and psychological patterns. Together, they physiological, psychological, social, and environmental causes of the disease of obesity create a predicament that obese people are drawn into and unable to get out."

2. "Just eat right."

Yeah, that's it. Just eat smarter. But for some people who have never fully understood the value of food nor the proper way to prepare healthy meals, the idea of being responsible for changing the way one stocks a refrigerator can be an overwhelming experience.

There is a reason why the weight-loss industry rakes in over 20 billion dollars every year. It is because most people need guidance, access to equipment or resources, external motivation, and an audience to keep tabs on their choices.

A recent survey by nextadvisor.com draws attention to the national appeal of packaged diet foods.

"Successful dieting often comes down to the food that you have to eat," wrote Jocelyn Baird in her nextadvisor.com article, You are What You Eat: NextAdvisor.com Survey Reveals Americans' Diet Food Habits. "It's important to not only eat food that you enjoy, but also find food that's convenient to purchase and easy to prepare."

The diet food industry has recognized, and capitalized, on this as many dieters don't fully understand the impact of the kinds of foods they choose or the amounts they consume. Incidentally, Jenny Craig was ranked highest in Best Tasting and offering Best Support per those polled.

3. "Just do it. Just lose the weight."

Is it really as simple as that? OK, problem solved. Yes, the road to fitness begins with one step. But a large part of that journey requires a better understanding why and how we ended up here in the first place. That means taking a good, hard look at our habits, choices, history, physical makeup, among other things.

"Morbidly obese patients need plenty of preparation," said Dr. Kadile. "When a patient comes to me, I go through a rigorous list of questions regarding medical and family history. I ask about eating, sleeping and activity patterns, as well as medical conditions, emotional patterns, stress histories, good times and bad times. I also have them go through an extensive battery of medical tests. That's the effective and safe way of doing it."

It's not too late to re-commit to your goals. Yes, we recognize that we played a part in our own present condition, but we are also determined to understand the meaning behind our choices and make an adjustment.

We need support, not a critical peanut gallery. Sometimes investing in a structured, specialized commercial service can be helpful in learning the fundamentals of healthy eating and lifestyle choices before trying it on our own.

"Just do it." This is where we agree with the critics. We are motivated to do it this time. We are just going to go about it armed with an empowered and informed strategy. Don't look now, but this is shaping up to be a rather happy swimsuit season after all.

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Is your partner lying? Use these CIA tricks to find out https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/is-your-partner-lying-use-these-cia-tricks-to-find-out/ Wed, 15 Apr 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/is-your-partner-lying-use-these-cia-tricks-to-find-out/ "Liar, liar, pants on fire." It seems we are faced with slanted stories on a regular basis. It's time to…

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Ever feel like your partner isn't telling you the whole truth? From Bill Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie swearing that no funny business was going down on the set ofMr. and Mrs. Smith, single celebrities and famous couples alike are infamous for stretching the truth. Everyday pairs struggle with lying as well. In a Reader's Digest poll, 96 percent of Americans admitted lying to those close to them. But it's also worth noting that 50 percent of lies are told by only 5.3 percent of the people. Consider this expert love and dating advice below!

A recent Huffington Post article identified four ways to tell whether someone is lying:

1. Look for nasal engorgement and itching

When a person lies, specific tissues in the nose usually engorge, says Dr. Alan Hirsch of The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. This nasal engorgement, which Hirsch calls the "Pinocchio Sign," causes cells to release histamine, which in turn causes the nose to itch.

2. Notice negation and aversion cues

Look for negation cues, such as covering or blocking the mouth and covering or rubbing the eyes, nose or ears, and aversion clues, such as turning the head or body away when making a crucial statement.

3. Beware of religious rhetoric

Religious phrases like "I swear on my mother's grave," or "as God is my witness" are ironic red flags.

4. Call out the denial phrases

Denial phrases including "trust me," "honestly," and "to be perfectly honest" are evasive. Evasion is about trying to change a perception, and these phrases repeated over and over again are typical clues to lying.

So what can you do when you decide to confront the lie?

Phil Houston, a former Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) officer and CEO of QVerity, offers suggestions in his recently published book Get the Truth: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Persuade Anyone to Tell All.

1. Make a transition statement

"First, let them know that the lie isn't working," says Houston. "For example, we might say, "Honey, listen, I've got to tell you. I've got some problems with what you were saying about our credit card statement." Deliver it in a low-key manner without making it adversarial to help keep them calm."

2. Stop them from talking

Behaviorists explain to us that, every time you verbalize the lie, you become more psychologically entrenched in it. So step two is to start talking and give them reasons to tell you what's really going on.

3. Lower their defenses

Rationalize or minimize the problem so the risks of telling the truth seem smaller. "Hey, listen," we might say. "Everybody has trouble with their credit card statements." We can do it by monologuing as well, which means we are basically trying to tell the person lying they can still win.

4. Switch to a presumptive question

After we lower their defenses, we should switch to a presumptive question, like, "What did you really do with the credit card?"

From hearing "The dog ate my homework," to "I don't know where all of these new shoes came from," we are regularly fielding little white lies and half-truths. The allure of lying as a way to avoid consequence spans all age groups. We now know the best way to protect yourself from those who feel the need to lie is to confront the deception and address the situation in an open and honest approach.

This is a great opportunity to teach children the downfall of deceit and illustrate how one lie often needs to another. The short-term distress of telling the truth is always better than the long-term anxiety of hiding the truth.

The same is true with adults. When caught in a lie, this is the time to make it clear you will always be truthful with them on the condition they treat you with the same respect. If they cannot be truthful, the relationship is finished.

And if you still run into people who think lying is OK, that is the time to bring in the CIA. Or at least their techniques. I'm going to try them out on my teenagers and see what really happened to my last pair of work shoes.

_Editor's note: This article originally published on CupidPulse.com.

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3 ways to experience renewal this Easter season https://www.familytoday.com/family/3-ways-to-experience-renewal-this-easter-season/ Sun, 12 Apr 2015 21:35:22 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/3-ways-to-experience-renewal-this-easter-season/ This spring, let's look at the process of renewal and rebirth in a whole new way. This can be the…

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Every year, the Easter Bunny comes to our house. He hides baskets in closets, cupboards, the washing machine, and any other hiding spot he can think of. My girls can barely sleep the night before knowing that a treasure hunt awaits them.

While the Easter Bunny brings the magical fun, my girls recognize that, for Christians like us, the real celebration centers on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Easter is not just about marshmallow chicks, pink flowers, and new dresses-it's an opportunity to reflect on the past year and rejuvenate our lives. Here are three ways that we can clear out the clutter and make room for new growth.

1. Get Rid of Time Clutter

Nature's process of renewal is beautifully simple. Things happen naturally, over time. Just as certain as plants and spring blossoms follow a natural cycle, so should we. We need to recognize there is a time to focus on each task and compare to our available time.

"Sometimes we are admonished to remember that we are human "beings," not human "doings." Wrote authors Sarah Felton and Marsha Sims in their book, Organizing Your Day. "But people are designed to be doers, to accomplish significant things during our time on earth. What we actually hate is to choke our lives up with low-priority activities that mean nothing at the end of the day. We recoil from wasting our lives on a myriad of things that have little or no significance in the long run."

This is not an easy task for me-I'm one of those people who have a hard time saying "no" to anything. But one day, my husband, Jeff, said something that literally changed my life. "Amy, you know that when you say 'yes' to something, you're by default saying 'no' to something else," he said. "Don't say 'no' to our family." Those words stopped me in my tracks and made me want to recommit to only engage in high-priority activities. That way, I can cultivate more important, enriching relationships and a life free of anxiety, stress and depression.

2. Get a Healthy Body Image

The positive effects of healthy eating and daily exercise are often immediate. Your entire family will enjoy more energy, improved concentration and a stronger, healthier mindset for better time management. As Dr. Andrew Weil wrote in his book, Spontaneous Happiness, "It should come as no surprise that physical and emotional health are intertwined and impossible to tease apart. Changes in one always correlate with changes in the other."

But for this year at least, I'm going to focus on accepting my body as it is.

"The reason we dislike the body is not because of what it looks like, or how it is, but because we are not connected to it, not in touch with it," wrote John Ruskan in his book, Emotional Clearing: Releasing Negative Feelings and Awakening Unconditional Happiness."Being alienated from and disliking the body, we think the fault is in the body, and we strive to change the body. We are looking in the wrong direction. The fault is in our attitude toward the body, and if this basic attitude is not corrected, we will never be happy with the body, no matter what it looks like."

A major component in physical rebirth and renewal is acceptance. So I'm going to concentrate on appreciating the body that God gave me, not picking it apart with criticism.

3. Clear the clutter and make room for new

There is a reason why spring cleaning is an enduring task for many. The act of physically releasing the physical and emotional clutter from our lives opens up new opportunities for improved relationships, more gratifying friendships, better communication, improved plans for accomplishing goals, and building a strong values-supported foundation.

The spirit cannot expand when it is cramped between storage boxes and furniture. The heart cannot move forward when it is buried in things from the past. Joy and enlightenment can get lost amid the knick knacks. Clear the pathway.

"If you love it or you use it, it's not clutter," explained author Ellen Phillips in her book, Kick the Clutter: Clear out Excess Stuff Without Losing What You Love. "However, if you find yourself clinging to everything on the basis that you love or use it, you're probably deceiving yourself."

This year, I'm going to mend relationships that prevent me from living fully and let relationships go that fracture my spirit.

By simplifying our priorities, rewarding our bodies with acceptance, and clearing the clutter to make room for the new, we are celebrating the gift of Easter as a time of renewal and rebirth for a promising and healthy future.

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3 ways your relationships could be killing you https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/3-ways-your-relationships-could-be-killing-you/ Tue, 31 Mar 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/3-ways-your-relationships-could-be-killing-you/ We love to have love in our lives. But some relationships could literally be killing you.

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In an environment where the rich and famous are as likely to have a divorce attorney on speed dial as their agent, it seems a celebrity couple is doomed to inevitable failure simply because they are famous, and divorce is a mere casualty of the job.

Yet when one puts aside the glitter and excess, we discover the reasons marriages involving people like Patrick Dempsey, Hilary Duff, Chris Rock and Mariah Carey ended was for surprisingly common reasons; reasons that much of the general population could relate. A multi-million dollar career isn't above bouts of jealousy, infidelity, insecurity, obsession or depression.

We love to have love in our lives. The joyful distraction of thinking of him throughout the day, and the anticipation of the possibilities of this relationship progressing and growing in strength makes our heart race. But if the quickening pulse or clammy palms are the result of an overly critical boyfriend or a jealous girlfriend, your relationship could be killing you. Toxic relationships often lead to extreme stress, depression, and a weakened immune system. Here's how.

Stress

Trying to maintain a relationship in a "fight or flight" state of being will surely break down your body's ability to function normally. Anxiety, high blood pressure, and added stress of your heart compromise your health.

In a June 2013 article, How Relationships Can Make You Sick, published on Healthgram.com, the author referenced a study conducted at Ohio State University where researchers discovered married men and women who struggled with ongoing concerns about the stability of their relationships had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol. The study also found lower levels of T-cells, which help fight infections.

The research concluded, "Those who were the most anxious about their marriages had 11 percent more cortisol and 11 to 22 percent lower T-cell levels than those who were less anxious. The lead researcher said the results are most likely linked since increased cortisol can reduce T-cell production."

Relationships plagued with poor communication, jealousy, deceit, fear, anxiety, and a conflicting goal set all run the risk of creating a chronically stressful environment.

Depression

He may be "killing you softly with his song," but he is also doing some pretty serious damage with his words and actions, too. A relationship clouded with mistrust or emotional abuse takes a toll on the partner's emotional and physical well-being.

When negativity leaves cracks in a person's spirit, depression fills those empty spaces. The results could be devastating to one's health.

In her article, 5 Ways a Bad Relationship Can Make You Sick, relationship coach Marcelina Hardy wrote, "When you are arguing with your boyfriend and feeling sick, you don't love your life. Your love should be something that enriches you. It should make you smile in the morning, and feel grateful at night. It should be what lowers stress, rather than create it. For these reasons, take steps to improve your relationship, so it doesn't make you sick. If you've tried to solve the problems and it's just not working, it may be time to consider how much you really need this person in your life."

If you are sustaining a relationship with a partner who is overly critical, constantly suspicious, or possessive, it could be making you sick. An unhealthy relationship invites feelings of hopelessness, a fear of abandonment, and a feeling of loss for unfulfilled goals or any hope for happiness.

Weakened immune system

One of the advantages of being in a healthy relationship is this euphoric energy that fuels your day. When depression invades your enthusiasm for life, it affects your lifestyle choices. Exercise becomes a burden, healthy eating becomes a distraction. Before you know it, you are facing high blood pressure, high cholesterol, weight gain, and a compromised immune system that is unable to ward off infections and disease.

"Unhealthy relationships can be like that," wrote licensed professional counselor and registered nurse, Suzanne Jones in her article, Is Your Relationship Making You Sick. "Sometimes in an effort to be supportive and helpful, we find ourselves drowning in unrealistic and endless demands. We can't bear the thought of hurting this person or letting him down, so we try and try to make adjustments to salvage the relationship. We go to extraordinary lengths to keep this person happy. We sacrifice our peace and happiness for theirs."

She added, "In an effort to be patient and helpful, we may be putting ourselves in harm's way. Like the rescue of a drowning person, we are at risk when we get too close and tangled up in an unhealthy person's problems and issues. These relationships can turn us into a physical and emotional mess."

Throughout the years, love has been blamed for a number of things. Sometimes, it stinks, hurts, even bites. At times, people have been accused of giving it a bad name. However a healthy, strong, solid and positive relationship isn't like that. It enhances your life and improves health.

So, if any of those things apply to the love you have in your life, it's time to drift away to a healthier and life-sustaining relationship.

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What is carpal tunnel syndrome? https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/what-is-carpal-tunnel-syndrome/ Thu, 26 Mar 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/what-is-carpal-tunnel-syndrome/ Long believed to be the consequence of computer keyboarding, Dr. Frazier sheds some light on the common causes of carpal…

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Phil had been teaching tennis to young people for 20 years. Last year, when he started experiencing discomfort in his hands and wrists, a parent of one of his students suggested it could be carpal tunnel syndrome.

Phil had his doubts. He led a very active life. The only injuries he treated had to do with his elbow and legs. "Isn't that something people get from typing and working on computers all day?"

The short answer is "no."

What is it?

The carpal tunnel - literally a tunnel of ligament and bones at the base of the hand - encloses the median nerve and tendons, which provide sensation to the hand and fingers. Carpal tunnel syndrome occurs when that tunnel collapses and the median nerve becomes pressed or squeezed at the wrist (see the National Institute of Health for more information). This can cause a lot of pain for individuals.

"It's like getting in an elevator," described Dr. M. Shane Frazier, Orthopedic Surgeon for Central Utah Clinic. "Everything is fine unless a couple of things happen. If the tendons start to swell (or everyone on the elevator gains 100 pounds), then the space seems cramped. Tendons and the area around the nerve become inflamed and swollen."

What is the cause of this inflammation?

"Carpal tunnel has something to do with use," concluded Dr. Frazier. "The biggest myth is that people get it who are on a computer a lot. That used to be the predominant way of thinking. It's not anymore."

Dr. Frazier explained that while in many cases the cause of carpal tunnel syndrome remains unknown, a common cause involves repetitive and forceful actions like gripping, grasping and heavy lifting. People who use heavy vibratory machines like jackhammers or heavy machinery and who perform heavy manual labor, assembly line work, sewing or manufacturing are more likely to experience carpal tunnel syndrome.

Frazier states that while it is difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of carpal tunnel syndrome, it does occur more often in women. According to an article published by the National Institute of Health, carpal tunnel occurs three times more often in women than men; affecting the dominant hand first and produces the most severe pain.

How does it feel?

How do you know if you have carpal tunnel syndrome?

Many patients report experiencing numbness and an uncomfortable tingling feeling in hands and arms. Patients may also experience weakness in their hands and a reduced level of dexterity. Some patients reported dropping items due to an inability to grasp. But the only definitive way to determine whether or not carpal tunnel syndrome is present is to see your doctor.

Although rare, cases of carpal tunnel syndrome have surfaced in children. The cause is often due to excessive video gaming, typing or playing a musical instrument.

To verify whether a patient has carpal tunnel, Dr. Frazier uses an electromyogram (EMG), where tiny acupuncture needles are inserted in the patient's skin to stimulate nerves and muscles.

"Through a machine, they can tell us how fast an impulse is going from point A to point B, and they can tell us a nerve is being compressed, how badly it's being compressed, and where," explained Dr. Frazier.

Is there a treatment?

Once carpal tunnel is diagnosed, it can be treated and cured.

"There is a cure for carpal tunnel syndrome," said Dr. Frazier. "Sometimes nighttime bracing and steroids can cure it. Often activity modification, lifestyle changes, and routines can cure it. As a last resort, surgery will cure it. Treatment largely depends on the severity of the case."

You don't have to suffer through the pain of carpal tunnel syndrome. Whether you are a mechanic, fish packer, a clerk, or a candy maker, there is a treatment plan available to help you gain relief and comfort.

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Tips for treating tendonitis https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/tips-for-treating-tendonitis/ Wed, 18 Mar 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/tips-for-treating-tendonitis/ What's this nagging pain in my shoulder? Is it just stiff joints, or something more? In this article, Dr. Ryan…

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This article was originally published on drosmond.com. It has been republished here with permission.

Pencils ready. Here's a pop quiz.

What do tennis elbow, pitcher's shoulder, golfer's elbow, and jumper's knee have in common?

First, they all hurt. A lot. Many sufferers describe the pain as a dull ache, tender to the touch with visible swelling in the affected area.

Second, they are all forms of tendonitis. Tendonitis is the inflammation or irritation of a tendon. It is most common around your shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees and heels.

A common form of tendonitis is Jumper's knee, which is surprisingly common in youth sports or any activity that involves a lot of kicking or running. Most children complain of pain or tenderness around the kneecap.

In most cases, the discomfort of mild cases of tendonitis can be treated with over-the-counter medication or rest. But if the pain persists, you may need to see a doctor.

Treatment for minor injuries

When we think of orthopedic injury, we often think surgery is the only option. However, "a large majority of orthopedic injuries are nonsurgical," said Dr. Ryan Slater, Sports Medicine Specialist with Central Utah Clinic. "Many times these injuries improve without surgical intervention." The same holds true for tendonitis. For minor injuries, try the RICE method.

Rest

Reduce your level of physical activity and rest the affected area.

Ice

To decrease the pain and swelling, apply ice packs or ice baths up to 20 minutes several times per day.

Compression

Since swelling is a common concern, compressing the area with wraps or elastic bandages helps keep swelling under control.

Elevation

This is another option to reduce the amount of swelling. If you suffer from a knee injury, for example, raise the leg above the level of your heart.

When the pain just won't go away

If the RICE method doesn't work for you, then you may be looking at a more severe case of tendonitis. However, there are still many noninvasive procedures that can be used:

Musculoskeletal Ultrasound

In medicine, ultrasound is used to detect changes in appearance, size, or contour of organs, tissues and vessels. It is also used to detect abnormal masses, such as tumors. It's painless, fast and can quickly provide doctors with images for a faster and more comprehensive diagnosis.

Platelet-Rich Plasma

"When conditions do not get better with more conservative treatments, we sometimes consider using PRP," said Dr. Slater. This regenerative treatment involves taking a sample of your own blood, separating out the platelets, then re-injecting those healing elements into the affected area. While still relatively new to the field, it is quickly gaining popularity as an effective, non-surgical treatment for certain patients.

"There are mixed studies," said Slater. "Some patients show significant relief while others are not as conclusive." Still, for a select population, this procedure can provide fast, long-term relief.

Tenex Health TX

After about 8-10 weeks, tendonitis ceases to be strictly an inflammation problem and becomes more of a degenerative issue. If this is the case, Tenex can work well.

In this procedure, a specially designed needle enables Dr. Slater to pass through the tissue and remove the degenerative parts of the tendon that are causing the patient pain. "This procedure has only been around for a few years," explained Dr. Slater, "but studies have been very promising. This is a great treatment option for people who have severe symptoms and don't want to go through a major surgery." And it only requires a local anesthetic.

Prevention is the best medicine

As a former wide receiver for Brigham Young University, Dr. Slater has had his own share of orthopedic injuries. Now, he uses his professional knowledge and collegiate experience to treat current collegiate and high school athletes as well as other patients in the community.

To make sure your child enjoys a lifetime of physical activities, here are some suggestions.

Warm up and cool down

It's a great habit for everyone, and should be taught to children early on.

Proper gear

It's never a good idea encourage your child to run a 5K in a pair of VANS, for example. Children will have a better experience if they are equipped with the proper gear for the selected sport.

Quality program

Be selective in choosing organized sports programs. A professional organization will offer well-trained coaches, well-maintained facilities and equipment, and offer a staff that is trained in medical assistance, if needed.

Drink up

! Dehydration is a constant concern during warm-weather activities. The National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseasesurges adults to "make sure your child has access to water or a sports drink while playing. Encourage him or her to drink frequently and stay properly hydrated. Remember to include sunscreen and a hat (when possible) to reduce the chance of sunburn."

Warm weather is on its way. This is the perfect time to plan fun family activities that get everyone up and moving. But when injuries occur, it's good to know that with a few simple techniques (or a quick trip to the doctor) you can be back on your feet in no time.

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