Go to the Scriptures

Take the time to read the account of the Easter story in the Bible. You could do this over the week leading up to Easter. For example, read about Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. Then read the account of the Last Supper on the next night and so forth. This can help children get a feel for the length of these events. Another way to read the account is to have a reader's theater. Assign scriptures to read and then use pictures to illustrate each event.

Use Media

We live in a technological age, and our children are better at it than we are! Use the internet to find videos related to Easter. Just doing an Internet search can bring up everything from animated versions to live action. Find one that will help your children to visualize and conceptualize this story.

Activities

At Christmas we bake cookies, set up nativities and make ornaments. Children are often hands-on learners. When my oldest was young, I made some "resurrection eggs." Basically, they were twelve plastic Easter eggs, each filled with a scripture from the Easter story and an accompanying object that illustrated that scripture. For example, the scripture that tells of the Roman guards dressing Christ in a scarlet robe has a small piece of red cloth in the egg with it. The last egg is empty to symbolize the empty tomb. All of my children have enjoyed reading and learning the Easter story in this way.

Another great activity is to make resurrection cookies. I found an excellent blog post on this at www.mommysideabook.com. You make these the night before and read a scripture as you add each ingredient. Place the cookies in the preheated oven (then turn it off before going to bed). In the morning the cookies are done and hollow - again representing the empty tomb.

Symbols of Easter

Finally, use the traditional symbols of Easter to help convey the story of Easter. For instance, a friend taught her children that the chick hatching from the egg is symbolic of Christ coming out of the tomb. Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth. Use that to teach that Easter is the time we celebrate the renewal of life through the resurrection.

Here in North Carolina, the dogwood tree blooms each year at Easter time. My husband loves to tell my children how this tree symbolizes Easter. Each blossom has four petals which represent the cross. Each petal is notched at the tip to symbolize the holes left by the nails in Christ's hands and feet. Around each notch, the petal is crimson. This symbolizes the blood Christ shed on the cross. The center of the blossom looks like a crown of thorns. But most important of all, the tree is dormant or dead looking before it blooms, but then it flourishes and comes alive again - all symbolic of the resurrection.

By taking the time to truly share the Easter story, our children can come to understand the most important gift ever given: that of the atonement and eternal life. Using these ideas, this story can become as beloved to our children as that of the Christmas story. Through the sadness of the crucifixion they can come to see the joy of the resurrection.

The post Beyond the bunny: Teaching our children about Easter appeared first on FamilyToday.

My husband was adopted when he was just 22 months old. My in-laws already had six biological children. We adopted our youngest son, Jack, at 11 months of age. We already had four biological children. Not long after Jack joined our family my father-in-law told my husband, "You know, the best thing we ever did was adopt you."� My husband responded, "I know it was the best thing for me."� His father then responded, "No, I mean it was the best thing for us."�

Adoption can bring numerous blessings to those who open their hearts and homes to a child. Jeremy Olivier has written a wonderful song titled, "Beautiful" which tells the story of how adoption blessed his family. One line that stands out is this, "From something so broken, something beautiful grows." Adoption does make something that may be broken into something beautiful, something overflowing with blessings.

Hope

One blessing adoption brings is hope. Hope for those who may be suffering from a desire to have children, hope for a better future for the birth parents who are not yet prepared or able to raise a child at that time, and hope for a better life for the adopted child. Olivier's song also says, "What you thought was lost can be found and made beautiful." That is what hope is - it is recognizing that that pain is not permanent and looking forward. Our son, Jack, came from a broken home. He had been in foster care since birth with no chance of reunion with his birth family. His birth parents gave him hope when they chose to place him in our family.

Joy

Welcoming any child into a family brings great joy. Joy often feels sweeter when it is preceded by heartache and difficulty. Such is often the case when a child is finally placed in a home. A dear friend, Heidi, said the only way to describe her daughter's adoption is joy. "This sweet little girl has brought our family so much joy." I remember the first time my other children were able to meet Jack. They were ecstatic to finally hold and play with this little boy we had waited so patiently to join our family. We had spent years waiting to adopt and when the opportunity finally came it was truly a joyous moment in our lives.

Growth as a Family

When I asked my daughter, Hope, in what ways adoption has blessed her life she responded, "Having an adopted brother teaches you that family isn't just defined by blood. You can open your heart and home to anyone, regardless of where they came from." Our son, Spicer, has autism and so establishing close relationships with others can be difficult. But he bonded with Jack as he had with his other siblings. In fact, he created a special bond with this brother as he loved to carry and hold him everywhere we went.

For some children, adoption may be the only way they have the opportunity to be a big brother or big sister.

Recognizing God's Hand

One of the biggest blessings we have come to realize after going through the adoption process is how God's hand is ever in our lives. So many things had to fall into place in a certain way for Jack to have been placed with us. His birth mother had actually selected another couple to place him with. Our case worker, who was working with our family as well as with Jack's birth mother, was actually supposed to move the month before he was placed. When the other placement fell through, the case worker, knowing of us, led her to our profile. She recognized that Robert would be a wonderful father to her son. Everything fell into place quickly. Jack was meant to be in our family, just as my husband was meant to be in his family. We know this is not just coincidence. It is the hand of God working in our lives.

Trusting in God's Plan

We often feel we know what is best for us and how things should work out. Fortunately we have a God who knows us and knows what is best for each of us. The song "Beautiful" also has this wise phrase, "She understands this is so much bigger than she planned." It is hard to understand why we must go through such pain and suffering, but we do not have the big picture, we only see our small part. My husband was raised for the first two years of his life in a less than ideal setting. His birth mother did not have the means to care for him properly. And yet, I do not think his family would have been ready to adopt him sooner. The time needed to pass, so that they were ready and able to take him into their home. We recognize as well that the wait we went through was necessary for us to be available for Jack to be placed with us - before that time his birth mother was not ready to place him. I am forever grateful that God has a plan for each of us.

Adoption truly is beautiful. It creates opportunities for those children and the families with which they are blessed to take what may be broken for both into something beautiful: a loving family. Adoption truly brings blessings from heaven.

The post Blessings from heaven: How adoption blesses families appeared first on FamilyToday.

Step One: depersonalize, de-clutter and organize

This can be difficult for some people - they like their stuff. Their personal belongings are what make their house their home. And therein lies the problem. As Laura Brannen, a real estate agent from Jacksonville, FL says, "People need to be able to visualize their own belongings there."� So it is important to remove all personal photographs, diplomas and even overtly religious items.

This can be difficult for children as they do not like to see their toys boxed up and packed away. Have each child select a couple of must-have items to keep out. Make sure they understand the need to pick these up as soon as they are done using them.

De-clutter means to remove items in closets, cabinets and even furniture that may make a room look smaller. Sheri Alo, a real estate agent from Raleigh, NC suggests renting a storage unit. "If you don't use it monthly, then store it,"� she says. I went through closets and cabinets and boxed up any items that were not necessary for everyday living. These, along with some extra furniture pieces that we did not need, were placed in a storage unit. My husband even emptied the garage of all but the most needed items. We also gave quite a bit to thrift shops. No need to move items you don't need or use.

Once you have eliminated extra items then set about organizing your closets and cabinets. As Sheri Alo says, "Buyers do look everywhere!"� Make sure linens are folded and stacked neatly, clothing is hung orderly, and everything has its place. The goal is to make your home look as if it has lots of storage and lots of room.

Step Two: light and bright

Make sure all light fixtures have working bulbs at the highest wattage allowed. Be sure your blinds and window coverings are all working so you can open them when showing the house. Check your paint and carpet. If you have vibrant or dark colors, think about painting the walls a more neutral color. Sheri says "Some buyers can't see past what's currently on the walls or may not want to paint right away."� Also, if carpet is worn out you may want to replace it. But, again, keep it neutral and not too light. White or off-white carpet always makes me wary as a buyer - too hard to keep clean.

Children can always make it difficult to keep paint and carpets clean. Establish a "no shoes in the house" rule during your home-selling time. Find a basket to set by the door most used and have them place their shoes in it as soon as they come home. Our son always seems to have a pound of sand in his shoes after a day at school. He soon learned he needed to take them off outside and dump the sand out before he came in.

Step Three: clean and fresh

Take the time to really scrub your house top to bottom. Clean the carpets, drapes and window treatments. Wash windows, baseboards and scour your kitchen and bathrooms. Once you have gotten it clean, establish a simple routine, for each morning, to ensure it stays that way. Have your family help. We had each child be sure their beds were made, rooms picked up, and bathroom sinks wiped down each morning.

Also be sure your home smells fresh. Claudia Crocker, a professional stager from Raleigh, NC suggests you place wet towels each morning in the dryer and run it. That way there is no musty, wet towel smell in the bathrooms.

Laura says to be sure the air conditioning filter is clean. This also helps eliminate odors. Avoid cooking items that have strong odors - you may love the smell of grilled onions, but for most buyers, that will be a turn off. Also if you have a pet, be sure their bedding is clean and odor free, as well. However you choose to deodorize make sure the new smells are not overwhelming - your goal is a fresh, clean smell.

Step Four: Curb Appeal

The first impression buyers will have is from the curb when they first drive up. Be sure you trim trees and bushes and mow and trim the lawn. Sheri suggests planting some seasonal flowers in the beds to make it inviting or even add some potted flowers on the front porch. Laura says adding fresh mulch to the beds adds a fresh look to the yard. This can be a family project - what child does not enjoy the chance to dig in the dirt to plant or to move mulch around?

Sheri also suggests "sprucing up the mailbox and post, check that the doorbell works properly and have an attractive mat at the doorstep."� This helps give that welcoming first impression.

Step Five: Second Opinions

Before you put your house on the market, have someone whose opinion you value and trust, walk through your home. This can be a trusted, honest friend (not someone who is going to say something nice just to please you), your real estate agent or a professional stager.

We had a stager come through who had simple suggestions of removing a few items, to more complex ideas of rearranging the furniture. What you want is someone with fresh eyes who can view your home as a buyer would with no emotional attachment.

Selling a home can be a traumatic and stressful event in your life. But by following these five steps you can get your house in tip-top selling condition.

The post Ready, set, sell: 5 tips for getting your house ready to sell appeared first on FamilyToday.

Family Night of Gratitude

Pick a night before the first of November and have a family lesson on gratitude and what being thankful means. Introduce the ways your family is going to seek to have an attitude of gratitude all month in preparation for your Thanksgiving celebration. Learning why you celebrate Thanksgiving will help your family have a more meaningful holiday.

Scriptures of Gratitude

Start the month out right by reading a scripture on gratitude each day beginning Nov. 1. Look in the index of your Bible to find them. Create a list and assign one to each day through Thanksgiving. As a family, read the scripture and then discuss how it relates to your family or helps you to become more grateful.

Journal of Gratitude

One year while working with youths in my church, I had them create gratitude journals. The purpose was to have them look beyond themselves and recognize the hand of the Lord in their lives. This is a great way to have your family learn to express their gratitude.

Give each family a small journal or notebook and have them begin a journal of gratitude. You can have each member decorate their journal with stickers or pictures to make it uniquely their own. Then each day (perhaps after the scripture of gratitude) have each person write what they are thankful for in their journal. As you progress in writing each day, you will be amazed at your ability to see blessings in your life beyond the everyday expected ones.

Boat of Gratitude

One year, when our children were small we made a boat out of an empty milk carton, added a sail and decorated it. Beside it we had strips of paper to write things we were thankful for and then place into the boat. On Thanksgiving Day we read the strips of all the things our family was grateful for. A similar concept would be to have a tree made from a branch where paper hearts or leaves are added after writing something you are thankful for. The idea is to show there is much your family can and should be thankful for. It makes a great centerpiece for your Thanksgiving table too.

Demonstration of Gratitude

My in-laws have a wonderful tradition at Thanksgiving. My father in-law is one of seven children and each year they collected food for needy families in their community. The night before Thanksgiving they delivered food to these families. They came from very humble circumstances and loved the opportunity to show their gratitude by sharing their bounty with others.

There are different ways your family could show your gratitude through acts of service. Perhaps you could have a food drive in your neighborhood for a local food bank. Or your family could go serve Thanksgiving dinner at a local soup kitchen. Or simply invite someone who might be alone for the holiday to share in your celebrations.

In whatever way your family decides to honor this holiday, learning to more fully show your gratitude to one another and to God, will help you grow closer to each other and to him. Taking the time to celebrate and recognize your blessings for an entire month will better prepare you to appreciate the greatest gift ever given to you - the Savior, Jesus Christ.

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Last month, my husband and I dropped off our third child at college. It is a bittersweet time to watch your child, whom you helped learn to walk and talk and ride a bike, now enter the adult world. But your role in your child's life is now shifting at this point from being center stage to more on the wings. It is time to let them take the lead.

In the world of theater a supporting actor should usually not upstage the starring or main actor or actress. As your child enters college it is his turn to have the leading role, and as a parent it is your turn to step back and let him shine. This is the moment you have spent 18 years preparing her to reach. Here are four cues for you to take as the supporting actor to help your child succeed in this stage of her life.

Let him lead

Let your child take the lead in determining your involvement in orientation activities, setting up services on campus, moving in and the communication level between you.

Our oldest daughter mentioned her appreciation that when we dropped her off at college we did not hover over her during her orientation. We let her determine which activities she would attend and this allowed her to make new friends and feel in control of her experience. Resist the urge as parents to attend every part of orientation with your child. Let her have the joy of independence.

Our son has Asperger's and with this disability he still needs some accommodations in classroom settings. He, however, took the initiative to call the student services at his university, set up an appointment and convey his paperwork to them.

When it comes to moving into the dorms or a new apartment, allow your child to determine how much assistance she wants. When our second daughter moved into her dorm, she and her cousin asked that we leave for a while and let them unpack. They even took it upon themselves to purchase their books for the semester and the Ethernet cord they needed for Internet service.

Finally, let your child determine the level of communication with you. In most cases, they will call or text more frequently than if you had set an expected amount. This does not mean you cannot call or text them, but by letting them take the lead on this you help them learn to value your relationship. My kids usually call or text as they are walking to and from class or when they have big news. I love that they want to share their experiences with me, but I don't need to have daily or hourly reports on every aspect of their life.

Let him choose

Let your child choose his own field of study, the classes he will take, and how he will spend his time.

Encourage your child to study his options, discuss them with you and then make the final decision that is right for him.

When it comes to creating his class schedule let your child decide the number of credits (within the range of full-time credits) he will take. Some want to begin with a fairly light load to get their feet wet. Others will take a demanding load right from the start.

How your college child spends his time is another area in which the choice is not yours. You won't be there to watch over every step anyway. One bad semester will usually awaken him to the need to spend more time in the library and less socializing on the quad.

Let him speak up

Hopefully your child has already learned to be his own advocate. My son does not do well with online tests and his math professor had the students take an online assessment. After doing poorly, my son emailed the professor and let him know of his disabilities and accommodations. The professor gladly let him come to his office and retake the exam. I am not sure if the outcome would have been as favorable if I had been the one to call.

Let him fall and pick himself up

The hardest part of watching a child learn to ride a bike is watching him fall. Sometimes he scrapes a knee. But if you don't let him get back up and on the bike to try again, he will never know the feeling of freedom riding a bike will give him. So as your child starts this new part of his life, let him fall and get himself back up.

If she misses an assignment, she needs to accept the consequences. Usually that means a zero for that grade. If a child fails a test, he needs to accept those consequences as well. Most likely that child will learn to study harder and prepare for class better.

An NBC News article in May discussed the consequences of when a parent steps in for this type of situation. A father called a professor when his son got a C on an exam. The professor said, "What the dad didn't know is that the phone call actually undermined his son, leaving the young man feeling insecure and incapable, not empowered and supported."�

As we attended the welcome for parents at our son's university, the president, President Kim B. Clark made the comment that we should not be a "snowplow parent," one that clears the path of all obstacles for their child.

As parents if you have done your job, your child should be well prepared to face the challenges of college and life beyond. For more tips, see my article about preparing children for college. Sit back and enjoy your child in the starring role of his life.

The post Best supporting role: How to help your child succeed at college appeared first on FamilyToday.

Using the five points in this article will help you to teach yourself and your family about this important role of Christ.

1. Understand what "to redeem"� means

Think about how you use this word in many parts of your life now. We "redeem"� coupons. We "redeem"� pawned items. Share these concepts with your family. The dictionary defines "redeem"� as, "To buy or pay off; to recover by payment; to make up for; make amends for; offset."� It also defines it as "to deliver from sin and its consequences by means of a sacrifice offered for the sinner."� (Random House Webster's College Dictionary) In regards to Christ, it is through his suffering and death, also called his atonement, that he redeems you. He made the ultimate sacrifice to deliver you from your sins. He made the amends for our wrongs that we can never make.

2. This redemption was prophesied in ancient times and anticipated

The ancient prophets knew how vital this redemption was for their salvation as well as all mankind. The Psalmist wrote, "But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave; for he shall receive me."� (Psalms 49:15) The prophet Hosea wrote for the Lord, "I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death."� (Hosea 13:14) Both prophets knew the only way to overcome death and return to God was through redemption.

3. Christ's redemption works in two ways

One is to redeem from the grave, or death. Because of the Fall of Adam, all men were subject to die a physical death. The Apostle Paul recorded to the Corinthians that, "But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive."� (1 Corinthians 15:20122) This gift of redemption is unconditional and available to all.

Second He redeems us from our sins. The Apostle Paul also wrote to Titus the following, speaking of Christ: "Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works."� (Titus 2:14) This part of the redemption requires effort on our part. In order to receive this purifying power we must repent and forsake our sins. The Savior said, "Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish."� (Luke 13:3) When we repent and forsake our sins we open our hearts to become changed. We want to be like Christ. He thus redeems our hearts and souls and changes us into his true disciples.

4. Christ's ministry on earth also had a redemptive aspect in the temporal sense

In Acts 10:38 it is recorded that Christ "went about doing good."� He helped others in their suffering and sought to take that suffering away. He fed the hungry, he healed the sick and he comforted the sad. In Matthew it reads, "The Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."� (Matthew 20:28) His ministry was all encompassing of spiritual and temporal needs.

5. Turn knowledge to action

Once you come to understand what the redemptive mission of our Savior is, you need to act upon that knowledge. You must come to accept him as your personal Savior, and know that his atonement applies to you in every way. Once you accept this you must repent and forsake the sins in your life. This is an ongoing process, as we all continue to sin. With effort we can make progress every day becoming a little better as we seek the Holy Spirit's help. Then, you need to participate in Christ's redemptive work here on earth by sharing his message of love and redemption, both spiritually and temporally. Seek to help those in need. Alleviate their suffering whether it is physical or spiritual. Act as Christ would act.

Christ's atonement was an act of redeeming love. He offered himself to cover the debt that you could never pay. Coming to accept and act upon that gift, and helping your family and others do so, will bring you peace in this life and salvation in the next.

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Recently while at our favorite restaurant, the waitress asked how long we had been married. We told her 25 years. Her response was, "Wow, you still have that look in your eye."� We laughed and have since had several discussions with her about marriage and what makes one successful.

Although each marriage is unique and comes with its own set of difficulties and trials, there are some basic rules that can help make your marriage not only succeed, but thrive.

Rule 1: Unity

In Genesis, it says this of marriage, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife." (Genesis 2:24) The verb "to cleave" has two meanings. The one used in this scripture is "to adhere closely, cling, to remain faithful." This unity should apply to a couple's faith, their family and their goals. As Abraham Lincoln once famously quoted from Matthew, "a house divided against itself shall not stand." (Matthew 12:25)

This is not to say there will be no disagreements and disputes. As a couple, you need to address those and come to a consensus on how to proceed. Contention can breed discontent and pull a couple further apart. Work out your differences and find that common ground.

Rule 2: Be positive

At one wedding, the officiator compared marriage to a highway, and then counseled the couple that there was no need to stop and examine every pothole along the way.

It is easy to get caught up in the things that go wrong. We have a favorite saying we tell our children when we think they are getting too negative, "Your negative vibes are bringing me down, man." Although we do it in jest as a means to lighten the situation, the truth is, constant harping on the negative aspects of anything is going to make any other situation look better.

Kay Moore, a marriage counselor in Raleigh, NC shared the following, "When a couple comes in for counseling and all they can focus on is the negative in the relationship and the other spouse, I know they will have a hard time making that marriage succeed. They need to get out of that train of thought."

Rule 3: Remember the past, enjoy the present and look to the future

Take the time to reminisce together on your courtship, how you fell in love and all your happy memories as well as those that strengthened you as a couple. When my husband and I look back on all the roads we have traveled, we have been amazed at how we have grown closer to one another - even through the tough times.

Enjoy where you are in life now. Sometimes it is easy to dream of how it was before children and those responsibilities as well as dwelling on how it will be better in the future. The movie, "The Dead Poet's Society," introduced many people to the Latin term, "carpe diem," which means, seize the day. The point was to enjoy the here and now because soon it will be gone.

My husband and I love to talk about what we want to do when we retire. We dream of living near the beach or a cabin in the mountains; traveling the world and looking for what we call "the colorful places" which make this world such an interesting place. As a couple, take the time to dream. Looking to the future helps you invest the time and effort to make those futures come to pass.

Rule 4: Have charity

The scripture on charity in 1 Corinthians 13 is a wonderful basis for a happy marriage. "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:4-6) By being patient with your spouse and treating her kindly, avoiding pride and seeking to put your spouse before yourself, you can find peace and happiness within your marriage.

Charity is the pure love of Christ. By viewing your spouse as Christ views him, you can see the potential within and realize that you are imperfect, as well.

Rule 5: Make the Commitment

In 2012, a study was done by the Relationship Institute at UCLA. Researchers noticed there were two types of commitment found in marriages. One is that you like the relationship and want it to continue and the other is being committed to doing what it takes to make the relationship work. One of the authors, Thomas Bradbury said, "the couples that were willing to make sacrifices within their relationships were more effective in solving their problems." (http://newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/here-is-what-real-commitment-to-228064.aspx)

If you recognize that in making the marriage work you need to work hard and put it before all else, then you have committed yourself to its success. Sit down together and make that commitment to work hard at making your marriage work. If you need professional help, seek a qualified counselor who can guide you through the process of recommitting.

Happy marriages do not just magically happen. You may think that reaching the altar is all it takes to find your "happily ever after," but in reality the work and the true joy are just beginning. Apply these rules to your marriage and you can still have that look in your eye which conveys to all that you love each other more than you did the day you wed.

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This is reminiscent of what the Savior asked of us. In the Bible it reads, "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house."� (Matthew 5:14-15) Each time we serve others we let our light shine brighter.

As parents you need to seek every opportunity to teach your children how to let their light shine through service. But they cannot light their candle on their own. You need to provide that first match.

Begin by holding a family meeting. Share with your family the parable of the goats and sheep found in Matthew 25. When those on his right hand (the sheep) were told they had served Christ by feeding, clothing and visiting him his answer was profound, "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."� (Matthew 25:40) Discuss with your family ways that you can help others. Then, select a project for each month that is feasible for your family according to your ages, abilities and means. The following is a list of themes and ideas to help you get started. Obviously you can change it to fit your family.

September: Back to school

Most children are returning to school around this time, collect school supplies for children whose families cannot afford them. Your children's school or school district may be holding a drive for this purpose as well as local retailers. Obtain a list of those items they are collecting and give your children an allowance to shop for items. To take it a step higher, have your children earn the money to purchase the supplies.

October: Fall clean-up

Use this month to help a neighbor or elderly family member to clean up and prepare her yard for the winter. Your family can help rake leaves, pull up a garden or help prepare a home for winter.

November: Share your bounty

This time of year provides an opportunity to reflect and give thanks for the blessings your family has received this past year. Part of giving thanks is sharing your bounty. Have a food drive to benefit your local food pantry. Our family has involved our neighborhood whenever we have collected food. We leave a note and bag on each door explaining what we're collecting and giving a date when to leave the food on the front porch. Many of our neighbors have expressed thanks for our involving them.

December: Secret Santa

Gift giving has become an integral part of the Christmas season. As a child I remember our family purchasing gifts for a family in need and secretly delivering them. It became one of my fondest memories of our Christmas celebration. We have tried to continue this tradition of giving within our own family. If you do not know of someone directly to help, contact the Salvation Army or find a local toy drive. Involve your children in the purchasing of gifts.

January: Baby, it's cold outside

As winter settles in, there are many who do not have the items necessary to keep warm. As a family organize a Mitten Drive and collect mittens, gloves, hats and scarves. Arrange to leave donation boxes at your house of worship, children's school or a local retailer. Be sure to get the word out as to what you are collecting. Choose an organization or group to help you distribute the items or find an area in your community where you can distribute them yourself.

February: Have a heart

In honor of Valentine's Day, find a way your family can contribute to heart health. Collect money for a heart research group or participate in a fund raising race.

March: Celebrate Dr. Seuss' birthday

Celebrate this favorite children's author by holding a book drive. Again involve your congregation or neighborhood and collect children's books. These could be donated to a library in your community or another organization that serves children.

April: Bloom where you are planted

During this month find someone who could use help preparing their garden for the summer. Trim bushes, mulch beds and plant.

May: Mother, may I?

In honor of Mother's Day, visit a nursing home or assisted living center and spend time with the women there. Prepare cards and maybe a small gift for each one.

June: Father knows best

Once again visit a nursing home, only this time take cards for the men. Be sure to spend time visiting with these special people. If your children are timid about starting a conversation, help them come up with questions to ask before arriving.

July: Home of the brave

Use this month to thank the troops who serve your nation. Prepare care packages to be sent to those in the military. Find an organization that can help you distribute these.

August: Dog days of summer

This is a perfect month to collect items for your local animal shelter. When you deliver the items you have collected ask for a tour of their facilities so your children can see how they are helping.

Taking time to teach and actively serve others will help your children become more Christ like. As you serve together, remind them of what Aesop said: "No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted."�

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Corral the papers

With the start of every school year, it seems the paperwork multiplies. To keep from losing items that need to be filled out and signed, designate a basket, folder or somewhere for each child to place the papers you need to see. Set aside a specific time each day to go through them, and then place in the correct child's school bag.

For those papers you need to keep for reference, create a 3 ring binder for each child. Place dividers in it so you can have a section for school, sports, scouts, etc. In our family, each child had a different color binder. This made it easy to locate each child's papers.

Check in with the boss

Our family found that having a scheduling meeting every Sunday night was extremely helpful. We had a large desktop calendar where we recorded everyone's activities. Each child's schedule was written in the same color ink as her notebook. Each child was expected to bring his planner or calendar to this meeting, and then each person took turns saying what she had for that week. This alleviated "surprises"� and allowed us to coordinate where, when and how everyone needed to be places.

Rustle up the grub

Mealtime during the school year can be chaotic, to say the least. Preparation is the key to helping everyone be fed nutritious meals.

If you don't seem to have time for making breakfast, take time on the weekend to prepare and then freeze items that can then be prepared quickly by each family member. Muffins, pancakes and waffles can all be made ahead of time, frozen and then pulled out as needed. Also cereal, fruit, yogurt and toast with peanut butter make an easy and healthy breakfast. It is an important meal that can help your children through the day. Don't let them skip it.

Lunches can also become time-consuming in the morning. By cutting up veggies and fruit over the weekend or the night before and portioning them into baggies, you or your children can quickly assemble a lunch. One friend even made and froze sandwiches over the weekend, so she didn't have to try and make those in the morning. Be sure to enlist your children in this prep work.

When family members seem to need to be so many places in the afternoon and evening, it may seem easiest to just grab something from the takeout window. Again, by knowing your schedule you can plan your dinner menu accordingly. Some families find it works best to have some dinners made and frozen, then they simply pull out a meal in the morning to defrost. Crock pots can be your best friend on those crazy days. Prepare the ingredients the night before put them all in the crock pot that morning and turn it on. When you come home dinner will be ready.

The right duds

Getting dressed in the morning can be a tortuous experience. Either your child cannot decide what he wants to wear, or she wants to wear the favorite shirt that is two sizes too small. To rid your family of the stress of inappropriate clothes be sure to clean out closets and drawers before school starts. If it is not there, the battle is avoided.

When it comes to the indecision in the morning, use these strategies. One, you can help your child lay out the clothes for the next day the night before. Be sure to include shoes, socks and hair accessories. Or you can purchase a hanging shoe tower that has five or more partitions. Label these by days of the week and have your child help select clothes for each day on Sunday afternoon. Again, include socks and underclothing, so there is not a mad dash in the morning.

Wrangle the gear

Nothing can be more frustrating than trying to get out the door with your child saying they can't find (fill in the blank). Make sure everything has a place: Shoes are in the closet or a basket. Backpacks and bags on hooks, shelves or wherever you find is convenient. Have each child pack the backpack the night before and check for homework, signed forms, projects and gym clothes.

When it comes to extra-curricular activities, if there is equipment or books that are needed, create a bag for each one and designate a place for it to be stored, as well. To encourage your children to put things in place, you might want to establish an award system. Make a calendar and each time they put things away correctly put a sticker on that day. After collecting so many stickers, they get a bigger treat. You want to make it second nature.

Once you put these tips in place your outfit will be running smoothly, so you can enjoy the new school year and watch your children learn and grow.

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Part of being a parent is raising children to become independent, responsible adults. While some children naturally seem eager to move forward with their lives and enter the adult world, others seem more reluctant to leave the nest.

To help your children leave the nest, you need to begin teaching them the skills necessary to do so when they are young.

Self-care

As children grow we teach them to dress themselves, brush their teeth and bathe. Each skill is taught at an age appropriate level and gives the child confidence and independence with each skill gained.

For instance, as our son entered high school, he was finding it difficult to budget his time between music lessons, theater rehearsals and homework. I suggested he create a schedule. Instead of me creating one for him, I simply guided him in how to make one, but explained that for it to work he needed to "own" it. And so he got on the computer and made a spread with time slots which enabled him to record what activity he needed to do at that time.

Also as children get older they can take more responsibility for preparing their own meals at breakfast and lunch. Teach them how to make toast, pour cereal and milk and eventually how to scramble eggs and mix muffins to bake. Kids love to help in the kitchen and learn to do something themselves.

When preparing lunches involve your children in filling baggies with individual portions of veggies or fruits. As they get older you can teach them to make their own sandwiches. By high school age your children should be able to prepare their own breakfast and lunches.

Chores

Children should be taught at a young age to care for their living environment and their belongings. This means they are taught to make beds, wash dishes, clean a house and wash clothes. It may seem easier to do these chores for them, but in the long run it is beneficial for them to know how to do things on their own.

Money management

Children need to be taught to manage their money by having allowances (or means to earn money through extra jobs done at home) and getting a job when old enough to work outside the home. Teach them how to save and budget the money they earn.

Sometimes parents teach all of these life skills to their children and they still seem reluctant to leave and take responsibility for themselves. How then can you as a parent help them learn to fly on their own?

Introduce them to the adult world

Start with making them pay bills - even if they remain in your home. For example, my oldest brother returned home after college. He had a full-time job and was planning to attend graduate school. While he lived at home my parents asked him to pay a portion of certain bills. They wanted him to understand he was old enough to take responsibility for himself.

Depending on the circumstances adult children in these situations can pay room and board, portions of the utility bills, their own cell phone bill and insurance premiums. All such agreements should be put into writing. Create a contract which you both agree on and then sign it.

Ease the transition

Different families have different ways of doing this. Some families tell their children they are responsible for all the costs of higher education. They encourage their children to work all through high school, to save and to earn scholarships.

Our family has created a plan where teenagers are expected to earn and save money throughout high school for their college years. We have agreed to cover tuition for an undergraduate degree, but each successive year of college we expect them to take on more responsibility for their own living costs. As freshmen we ask that they pay for their books and any extras. The next year we ask them to cover rent and groceries as well. We help when needed, but hope they have learned to budget, shop wisely and realize the value of money.

Others have their children pay for tuition and then reimburse them. This allows their children to value their education as they witness the cost.

If your children opt to go to trade school or straight into the work force, it is important for them to ease into the adult world as well.

All good things must come to an end

At some point you need to establish when the apron strings will be cut as well as the financial ones. If your child lives at home while attending school or as he first enters the workforce, set a date for which he will move out or start paying rent to you.

The average age of children moving out and moving on is nearing 30 years old. Letting your children remain at home with no responsibility for themselves does them a disservice. Part of being a parent is giving our children the skills to live on their own, in order for them to feel the thrill of flying solo.

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