The following is a true story, names may have been changes to protect the innocent.

When we bought our house I was 27 years old. I was thrilled to have a house! But what was I possibly going to do with the 4,000 square feet of blank canvas sprawling in front of me, mocking me? It was a brand new spec house, which means the builder's "designer" chose the shade of cream that was on every single wall. The exterior was/is an awesome shade of navy blue, which made me feel a little better. I filled (well, not quite) the main floor of our new ranch-style home with hand-me-down furniture in shades of hunter green and almost-black stained wood furniture.

After about a year of cream and hunter green, I wanted my house to be cute. But I had no clue how to make it cute.

Tip #1: Hire Help!

Truth: we can't all be good at everything. The first thing I did was hire a friend who had a degree from a local business college in interior design to help me. She didn't charge me much at all and she let me ask her millions of questions. "What's a complimentary color?" "Why would you arrange the furniture that way?" "How do you hold a paint brush again?" I watched and I learned. I really wanted to learn. Later she came over and I showed her my downstairs bathroom (still love it) and she said, "You don't need me anymore."

I didn't need her anymore because I follow these tips I'm about to give you ...

Tip #2: Study Up!

When I decided I wanted to get better at decorating I thought about going back to school and getting a degree in interior design. But then I realized that, um, I already have two Bachelor degrees and three kids. That was a no-go. So instead I found used interior design text books online and read them. I skipped the boring parts. Now when I look at rooms on Pinterest, I do more than admire them, I study their elements, I notice what makes them work, and I think about how to replicate them.

Tip #3: Choose a Theme

At first my husband and I couldn't decide on ANYTHING. The designer I had hired suggested that we each, separately, tear out photos from magazines. We did and we compared them, with her help as the mediator. It was miraculous! We actually found something we agreed on. We were able to find a similar theme in the rooms that we both loved. We ended up deciding on, what I like to call, Romantic Beach House. This exercise was so invaluable. Now when I decorate, I just stick to our theme and everyone is happy. Plus I don't have an identity crisis every time I go to TJ Maxx because I'm sure of my style and if an item doesn't work with it, then I don't buy it. Easy!

Tip #4: Ask the Pros

Don't be afraid to ask questions and learn from those who know. People love it when you tell them they are great at something. So flatter them ... then pick their brain.

Tip #5: Get the Right Tools

So important! When choosing paint colors, don't grab a hand full of paint samples at the hardware store. Invest in a color fan from a professional paint store. It's so much more effective to choose paint when you can see all the choices. And so often the color you think you want isn't the right color for your room after all!

Tip #6: It'll Come

I played volleyball. I started when I was about 12. Now, I'm tall, 5'11." At 12, I was about 5'9." I was skinny. And, let's be nice to me and say, lacking in coordination. But the volleyball coach wanted my height and was willing to train me to play. I have no idea how many times that man said to me, "It'll come." Every time I hit the ball in the net, he was there to tell me, "It'll come." Know what, it did come. Turns out, I was a really good volleyball player after all. It look a lot of practice and a lot of trial and error. The same is true for learning to do anything, even decorating. It's hard to learn anything new. But anything can be learned!

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When I chose to be a mom I had no idea what I was getting into. I thought I knew. But let's face it, all I really knew is that I wanted to have babies! I wanted babies more than anything! Little did I know that those babies only stayed small for a short time and the job of being a mom would test me as a person more than any other possible experience. It's crazy hard, and yet, I do it willingly again and again. I have found more joy in motherhood than I could possibly find in any career, hobby or talent. Yet, I still find it necessary to have a career and hobbies and to develop my talents. Here's why "¦

You are a person!

I swear sometimes my kids don't get this. I can't tell you how many times I have heard the words, "Because you're the mom" come out of my children's mouths. I remember feeling that way about my mom when I was a kid. I felt like certain things were her job because she was the mom. I didn't care much for her feelings, I didn't really consider the fact that she was indeed a person. It's true that as a mom you are responsible for your child's well-being, but, just because you're the mom doesn't mean you wait on your family hand and foot. It's important to take time for yourself to do something you love to do and do it just because. Give yourself permission, you don't need permission from anyone else. Taking time to remember that you are a person will actually make you a better mom.

You can't help others until you help yourself

You know when you're on the airplane and the flight attendant gives the safety instructions? In the unlikely event of a change in cabin pressure ... secure your mask first ... and then assist others. I think of this just about every time I head out the door to go to the gym or for a night out with my friends. Sometimes it doesn't feel like the right time to go, I have a lot going on, I'd rather veg on the couch ... but when I go and do something that helps me connect to myself, I feel so much better. It makes me a better mom too!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

When I am away from my kids for a few hours, or heaven forbid, a few days, I am happy to see them when we're reunited! My first child did not leave my sight for the first year and a half of her life. I took a job coaching a high school volleyball team for a short time while she was about one and sometimes I could bring her with me and sometimes she hung out with my mom for the hour I coached. I had to quit because I couldn't stand being away from her FOR ONE HOUR. I felt like I should be with her, caring for her, every single moment. I remember when I quit that little job the head coach thought I was crazy for not being able to leave my baby with my mom for an hour. I thought she was a jerk.

Here's the thing that worked for me at the time. I was so smitten with that child there was nowhere else I would rather be. Eventually I loosened my grip, although I am still obsessed with all my kids and have to know where they are and what they are doing at all times. Now, they don't necessarily have to be within eye shot. My oldest is 10 now and I really appreciate a couple hours, or even a weekend to myself.

I want to make them proud!

What are your hobbies, passions, interests? Share them with your kids and take some time to develop your talents! Do not feel selfish when you do this. Your kids will love it. They will admire and look up to you for doing cool stuff. They might even brag about you to their friends.

I grew up with a mom who was always there when we got home from school and had usually baked some whole wheat bread for us. She worked hard at being a mom. I really appreciate everything she did for me growing up and the things she continues to do for me. That said, it always bothered me that she didn't really do anything other than be my mom. If you had asked me what my mom liked to do ... well, I couldn't tell you. She had been a sculptor but she gave that up when she had kids. She used to paint, but she only did that when she was teaching us how.

Thinking back, I would have loved to see my mom claim a space in the house for her art studio and put aside an hour a day when she went in there and we weren't allowed to bother her. So maybe I take this to the extreme in the opposite direction. Being a mom is always my highest priority. BUT I love doing all sorts of fun stuff and my kids think it's super cool and totally support me!

Eventually your kids will grow up

One day my youngest is going to move out of the house leaving my dear husband and I to our own devices. Famed author, Steven Covey, in "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" states that we should begin with the end in mind. To me, this means that I have these precious years to nurture and love my children, but during these years I better not forget to work on becoming the person I want to be because at some point these sweet babies of mine will be grown-ups and I won't be mommy anymore.

Being a mother is the greatest blessing of my life! I love the opportunity I have to teach and learn from my little ones. My advice: while you are enjoying the blessings of motherhood, don't lose sight of yourself.

The post 5 reasons ‘me’ time for mom is so important appeared first on FamilyToday.

em,Entirely Eventful Day

It has been republished here with permission.

What do you want to accomplish as a mother? What is your number one priority? At the end of your life, when you're sitting in your rocking chair, what do you want to look back on and feel good about? For me, the answers to those questions are that I want to know that I made my kids feel loved. Whenever the thought of their mother (me) pops into their head, I want them to think, "love" (not "crazy bossy lady"). Ha.

Celebrate with them

The other day my fourth grader had to give an oral presentation at school. She was petrified, her last experience had not gone well. We practiced and I encouraged her. The day of her presentation, she came home from school and told me that she "just kept talking and talking" and that her teacher didn't have to ask her any questions at all (which I guess is a big deal). I literally dropped what was in my hands grabbed her, sang "We are the Champions" at the top of my lungs while I twirled her around. Yeah, I might be a little dramatic, but her eyes lit up like she was at Disneyland. My making a crazy, big deal about it made her feel even more proud of her accomplishment. And even more importantly, made her feel LOVED!

Have special rituals just between the two of you

It's the little things they will remember. Simple moments will stand out in their minds as they grow older. They will probably never think to themselves, "My mom could do a mean load of laundry!" No. Your son probably won't think back and recall your ability to get dinner on the table at 6 p.m. every night. But they will remember the tickle torture sessions, the secret handshakes, the inside jokes. They will remember the little things you did just for them, and them alone. They will remember the time you spend kneeling by their bed every night and talking about their crush at school. If you have multiple children, it's really difficult to remember to parent the individual child. It's like I always say, "There are just so many of them!" But it's important to have that little special something between just the two of you.

Treat them like they are amazing

"Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming." -Johan Wolfgang Von Gothe

I try to remind myself of this multiple times a day. Think about it ... when you do something and someone tells you it's amazing, does it make you want to do it again? Yes! Not only is this great advice for making your kids feel loved, it's also an amazing behavior modification tool. I have seen this work in my own life. My husband is extremely complimentary of me. Whenever I do anything he can't stop talking about how amazing I am, how impressed he is, on and on and on. (I'm a lucky girl!) But do you think that makes me want to do a crappy job the next time? No way! I want to do an even better job the next time. It makes me want to impress him even more! In my studies in Human Development, I learned this but it really hit home when I noticed how my husband's praise was shaping my behavior. I started doing it with my kids and it has made an incredible difference!

Focus on the positive

You can choose to either focus on what your kids do wrong, or you can focus on what they do right! The choice is yours. Let that sink in for a sec. You don't have to let things they do irritate you so much. When you feel like you want to get bugged, think something nice about them, and then say it out loud! I'm not going to lie, this is really hard to do at bedtime. But seriously, what about ignoring the negative behavior (when it's safe to do so) once in a while and focus instead on the positive? Build them up! There are enough forces in the world tearing them down, you don't need to be one of them. YOU can be the one they can always count on to love them.

Make yourself available

I've heard it said that children spell love T-I-M-E. We are all busy. There is always something that needs to be done. Am I right? We know that spending time with our kids is important but at times it can feel impossible. But when you feel this way think about you, old, kids grown with families of their own, sitting there, thinking back. I don't know about you, but I don't want to slap myself in the forehead thinking about all the time I wasted doing things that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Believe me, I am a "gotta get stuff done" kind of girl, but I have to check myself and ask myself if what I think really matters ... well ... really matters. And remember, sometimes just five minutes of your time can make all the difference.

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