Briana Brockbank – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Mon, 31 Oct 2022 16:20:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Briana Brockbank – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 My Husband Gets Angry When I Don’t Want Sex https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/my-husband-gets-angry-when-i-dont-want-sex/ Thu, 14 Jul 2022 19:41:06 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=54307 When there is a tremendous disparity between a couple’s sex drives, your marriage can become difficult to manage

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Many wives find themselves in the position of having to deal with their husband's anger when they don't want intimacy. It can be a difficult situation to navigate, but there are some things you can do to help defuse the situation and hopefully improve communication with your husband. First, try to understand where the anger is coming from. Is your husband's anger a result of his frustrations and feelings of inadequacy, or is it genuinely directed at you? If you can determine the root cause of the anger, it may be easier to find a way to address it.

If your husband's anger seems to be directed at you, try to have a calm conversation with him about why he's upset. It's important to remain calm and avoid getting defensive yourself. If possible, try to find out what specific things are making your husband angry and see if there are any ways you can change your behavior or approach to help improve the situation.

If your husband's anger is due to his own frustration and feelings of inadequacy, there may not be much you can do to change the situation. However, you can still try to have an open and honest conversation with him about how his anger is affecting you and your relationship. It's possible that simply being able to express your concerns and fears may help defuse the situation somewhat.

Whatever the cause of your husband's anger, it's important that you take steps to protect yourself from its negative effects. If his anger is causing you to feel scared or threatened, it's important to have a safety plan in place. This may involve having a safe place to go if things get out of hand or making sure that you have a way to call for help if necessary.

If you're not sure how to deal with your husband's anger, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore the root cause of the problem and find healthy ways to deal with it. Intimacy should never be used as a weapon, and anger shouldn't get in the way of enjoying your time together.

If your husband gets angry when you don't want to have sex, you may worry he'll start an affair or even leave you. It's important to remember that anger isn't an excuse for bad behavior. If your husband is truly angry about something, he should talk to you about it in a calm and respectful way. If he can't do that, it might be a sign that he needs help managing his anger.

It's not all about your husband here either. When you're not feeling like being intimate, it's always important to understand your own reasoning. Have you noticed your sex drive reducing? Maybe you're just not feeling your body after kids or have gained weight or lost weight. Whatever the case is, it's important to not make any self-disparaging comments in the hope of your husband taking notice to romance you.

Be honest with your husband; tell him why you don't feel like being intimate. It's better to work on the problem together than to keep it to yourself and hope he figures it out. If you need more romance in your relationship, tell him. If you're feeling unattractive, tell him. Honesty is always the best policy in a relationship.

If you're too focused on being the perfect mom, stop. Stop beating yourself up and focus on maintaining a good marriage. If your marriage is healthy, you're going to be a happier mom and will most likely raise healthier children. If you're too caught up in being the perfect mom, you might miss out on spending time with your spouse, which will cause estrangement, and your children will notice.

Then, there's the harsh truth. Maybe your sex life was never that great or you feel like you two fell into a routine. It's still best for you to be direct with your husband. Experiment and tell him your likes and dislikes. Go on vacation and try something new with each other. Keeping things fresh and fun will only allow you and your husband to grow closer.

It's possible that regardless of your reasoning, it may be time to seek out an expert, whether it be a marriage counselor or sex therapist, that can help put the passion back into your marriage and remind you why you got married in the first place.

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‘SNL’ Star Kenan Thompson Filed for Divorce from Wife of 11 Years https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/snl-star-kenan-thompson-filed-for-divorce-from-wife-of-11-years/ Tue, 05 Jul 2022 18:36:58 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=53878 The former couple will share joint custody of their children.

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Former Nickelodeon star and SNL star Kenan Thompson has officially filed for divorce from wife Christina Evangaline after 11 years of marriage.

The couple met through Thompson's talent agent Danny Estrada and dated for four years prior to their wedding. They later wed on November 11th, 2011. The ceremony took place in a rented-out aquarium which Christina has said made the night' absolutely magical.'

The now-former couple will share joint custody of their two daughters, Georgia and Gianna. Thompson and Christina will continue to live close to one another in NYC to make co-parenting much easier. The couple was separated for a year prior to the divorce announcement.

Kenan spoke of the joys of fatherhood a few years back, saying "I think the biggest wake-up call is how immediate it is. One day you're not a dad, and then the next moment, you are. You're just a dad from that point on."

"We were married for three years before we had a baby, but it was always in our mind," Thompson continued. "So it was always that plan. The whole family-man thing of it all just kicked right in, and it's just been an amazing ride."

Like many other men, Kenan found himself growing in ways he never imagined.

"And then there were ways that I did imagine that come through, like dropping my kids off at school and what that experience was like, and having things come full circle like that — like watching a big girl do her homework. It's just been amazing."

Kenan also found it difficult to be cool after becoming a dad.

"And definitely, my coolness just got sucked right out of me," he jokes. "I didn't know... I didn't even feel it, but I just immediately started wearing black socks and shorts and just being really corny at stores and over-asking questions about items that are super obvious and in my face."

Kenan and Christina had kept their marriage fairly private from the public but would open up from time to time. When promoting his new show Kenan, the actor told Jimmy Fallon about his wife's reaction to his new show.

In the show, Thompson plays a widowed father raising two girls. Kenan said he "mirrored" many of his own experiences with fatherhood, but many other aspects came down to "creative liberty."

Christina's initial response was, "Oh, so I'm dead?" Kenan assured her that part was just good story writing and had nothing to do with her. He was thanking God at that point that she was still with him.

It's reported that the new show is what caused the rift between the couple. While Kenan relocated to Los Angeles for filming, Christina stayed with the children in New York. The couple just drifted apart, and a year of separation didn't help mend any fences.

Thompson rose to fame in the '90s on the hit Nickelodeon shows All That and Kenan & Kel. The actor joined the cast of Saturday Night Live in 2003, where he became the longest-running cast member on the show. Although he's filmed over 1,500 live sketches, Kenan has stated he's not going anywhere and hopes to be around still for the 50th season. His career is impressive, and Kenan credit's his motivation and work ethic for his success. In Kenan's mind, he just is allowed to do what he loves, so it never feels like work.

Divorces can get ugly, but the Thompsons seem to be handling it with respect for each other and Thompson's public image remains largely unscathed.

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New Study Finds Best & Worst States For Working Moms https://www.familytoday.com/family/new-study-finds-2022s-best-worst-states-for-working-moms/ Wed, 25 May 2022 17:47:13 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=53177 How does your state rank for working mothers?

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A new study ranks the best and worst states for working moms.

The U.S. economy is continuing to strengthen, with record-low unemployment rates and rising wages. For working mothers, this is good news – but some states offer far more family-friendly environments than others. In its annual report on the best and worst states for working moms, the personal-finance website WalletHub looked at key indicators like professional opportunities and child care to come up with its rankings.

Working moms often get a lot of flak for not being able to balance work and motherhood perfectly, which is somewhat due to their surrounding environment and support system. While it's admittedly difficult to be a working mom, it's not impossible. Mothers account for nearly half of the workforce in the U.S., so it's clear to see there's a long way to go before the playing field is equal.

Drumroll, please....

The best state for working moms is Massachusetts, which ranked first overall. Massachusetts had a score of 22 when it came to career opportunities but was number one for a work-life balance. The worst state for working moms is Louisiana, which ranked 51st overall and certainly lacking in career opportunities and childcare for women. Use the interactive map below to see where your state measures up.

Source: WalletHub

So what can you do if your state is on the lower end of the scale? Since you cannot control the professional opportunities around you, start with something, you can control.

Create a Routine

One of the best ways to manage your time as a working mom is to create a routine and stick to it. This includes creating schedules for both work and home life and being as disciplined as possible when it comes to sticking to them. Of course, there will always be some flexibility required, but having a routine in place will help eliminate some of the stress and chaos that often comes with trying to balance work and family life. Try to schedule your work around your child's nap and bedtime schedules. This will help make things a little bit easier for you.

Create Special Moments

Even though life can be busy, you should still make time for special moments with your child. Go for a walk together, read a book, or just have a conversation. These small moments will help strengthen your relationship and create memories that will last a lifetime. We often forget that the greatest treasures in life are the little moments we get to share with the people we love.

Delegate and Ask For Help

Working moms often feel like they have to do everything themselves, but this is not actually the case. If there are things that can be delegated or outsourced, then do so. And if there are people in your life who are willing and able to help, then don't be afraid to ask for their assistance. Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It takes courage to admit that you need help, and it takes strength to ask for it. When you do ask for help, be sure to clearly communicate what kind of help you need. Let the person know what you're hoping they can do to help you out. Thank them in advance for any assistance they may provide.

Take Breaks

Staying at the top of your A-game means putting your mental health first. Working all day without any breaks can be extremely draining, both mentally and physically. By taking breaks throughout the day, you'll allow yourself time to recharge and come back to your work with fresh eyes. Breaks are important for everyone, but especially for working moms. When you take time out for yourself – whether that means taking a relaxing bath, reading your favorite book, or going for a walk outside – you'll come back to your work refreshed and invigorated.

Lean on Your Support System

Your support system can be made up of family, friends, or a babysitting co-op. These people can help you out when you're overwhelmed or need an extra hand. Childcare is expensive and hard to find. When childcare is lacking in your city you have to rely on your support group. The phrase 'it takes a village' to raise kids is quite literal because sometimes you need help. Be honest with your support pod– most people are more than happy to lend a hand.

Define Your Priorities

Take a step back and figure out what's really important to you. There are only so many hours in the day, so it's important to focus on the things that are truly important to you and cut out the distractions.. Maybe you need to cut back on your work hours so you can spend more time with your family. Or maybe you need to stop volunteering for every committee at church. Reevaluate what's important to you and make changes so that your priorities reflect that.

Once you have your work and life balanced, it's easier to manage everything else. Working moms know that their time is precious and there's not always enough of it. Learning how to manage your time well will help you get the most out of every day, even when it seems like there's not enough time to get everything done.

As far as career opportunities go, when you can't find something local, try looking for remote opportunities. The pandemic created a massive shift to virtual work, which may be more ideal for mothers. The remote work trend is on the rise, and with good reason. According to a FlexJobs survey, 77 percent of workers would prefer to work from home than in an office. This number jumps to 87 percent for millennials. There are endless opportunities for mothers looking to telecommute. The remote job market is growing rapidly, and many different positions can be done from home. From freelance writing to web development, there are plenty of opportunities for mothers looking for a career change or a way to make money from home.

Being a mother is never a walk in the park. Sometimes you just have to figure out what works best for you and your family.

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The Sad Reality Of Childhood During COVID-19 Lockdowns https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/the-sad-reality-of-childhood-during-covid-19-lockdowns/ Fri, 15 Apr 2022 17:12:44 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=52778 Navigating through the pandemic as an adolescent was utterly terrifying, and a new study shows just how bad the impact…

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A new study from the CDC shows the sad reality of childhood during COVID-19 Lockdowns. The pandemic has forced unprecedented measures on communities around the globe. Perhaps nowhere is this more evident than in the lives of children who are grappling with school closures, social distancing, and even self-isolation.

While there are certainly some benefits to these new realities for kids (for example, more time to play and read), the emotional toll of COVID-19 cannot be overestimated, with anxiety and depression on the rise among youngsters, adults must provide the necessary support to help them feel safe.

The study from the CDC found that during the lockdowns, 44 percent of children were 'sad and hopeless,' while 19 percent contemplated suicide. These extremely high rates of emotional distress among children during states of lockdown are deeply alarming. The trauma that children are experiencing as a result of the pandemic is very real and could have long-term consequences. Kids need to know that they are not alone and that there are adults who care about them and validate their emotions.

So how can you help them cope when they're feeling the impacts of isolation?

Let them talk about their feelings.

It can be difficult for kids to express what they feel when they're anxious or depressed, so it's essential to be patient and let them talk in their own time. Ask open-ended questions and let them know that it's okay to feel scared or sad. Listening is one of the most important things you can do for a struggling child. It can also be helpful to talk to your children about feelings in general. Doing this will help them feel more comfortable talking about their own feelings, and it'll help them understand the feelings of others.
Always encourage them to express their feelings in healthy ways.

Encourage them to play and be active.

Physical activity can help boost mood and alleviate some of the stress caused by COVID-19. Encourage your child to get outside and play or even just take a walk around can also be helpful. Isolation isn't easy for anyone, and the best way to stay positive is to stay active. Most gyms were closed during the pandemic, which helped virtual classes explode. You can take classes with instructors on everything from yoga to karate to hiking classes. So if getting outside is still an issue, try having your child or teen sign up for something virtual, this way, they're able to be active indoors and still find a way to be social. Other ways to help them stay active include:

    - Going on scavenger hunts throughout the neighborhood or the house.
    - Schedule daily activities, so they have something to forward to.
    - Encourage "Imaginative play" to help limit screen time.

Help them set up hangout sessions via zoom.

The report found that more than 45 percent of students felt they were experiencing poor mental health from being disconnected from friends. If they're unable to physically hang out with friends, always encourage a virtual hangout session via zoom. It's a great way for kids and teens to still feel connected. The CDC study found that 25 percent of the students reported that they contemplated suicide because they felt they had lost that connection with friends. In some instances, the students went through with their consideration as the study did show that nine percent of the students attempted suicide during the lockdown.

If your child or teen seems really bummed from not being able to see their friends and a virtual session just isn't doing anything for them, encourage them to be social in the community. Helping make gifts or cards for your local senior center might feel like a reward to your child for doing a good deed. We're sure you have neighbors who would love some extra help with yard work.

Promote positive language at home.

Children already have enough to deal with, so adding insults and emotional abuse just weighs them down even more. A recent study reported that the majority of the teens were emotionally abused during the pandemic. Children who experience forms of emotional abuse are far more likely to develop issues like depression, anxiety, and PTSD and will consider suicide. When feelings or emotions are heightened in the home, remember to breathe and remain calm. Negative language causes too much stress for you and your children, which neither of you needs. Just remember that positive reinforcement creates a positive culture within the house environment and will improve everyone's mental health.

There are so many ways to help your children cope with isolation and even heal in the aftermath. Another positive action is to help your child find purpose again. They thrive on doing or enjoying things they truly value. Find out if you don't already know what your child's favorite hobby is. If it's reading, start your own book club together or ask them to have daily discussions with you regarding literature. If it's making music, then put on some jams and have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen. The sky is the limit when it comes to making efforts that benefit your child's mental wellness.

While the pandemic has started to diminish, there's always a possibility of lockdown measures returning if another outbreak rises. Children and teens will certainly continue to struggle, and it's important to remember the vital role parents play in providing support. Always acknowledge what they're experiencing and do your best to add those extra layers of support they desperately need. After all, they are losing out on milestones, rites of passage like prom and graduation. Kids just feel like they are missing out on some of the most important moments of their lives.

Ultimately the best thing you can do for your children during and after isolation is just there for them. Be ready to drop what you're doing when they need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on. You've already been through the trenches of being a kid and navigating through your teen years. You know how hard it can be. They will appreciate the effort you gave to make sure they didn't slip through the cracks during one of the most challenging obstacles they have faced thus far.

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How to Teach Kids to Cope With Losing https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-to-teach-kids-to-cope-with-losing/ Thu, 24 Feb 2022 23:26:47 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=51991 Losing gracefully doesn't happen overnight, it needs to be taught and is learned over time.

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Losing is inevitable in life. It's vital to teach kids how to cope with losing early in life so they can deal with it in the future. In sports, losing is not only expected but necessary for success. It's better to lose and learn how to handle defeat than win and be unprepared for it when it happens.

It's difficult for children to learn how to manage their feelings regarding losing. At a young age, we believe we are the best at everything. Sometime's, the same mindset transitions into adulthood with us. Often those we see flipping a gameboard when they don't win in Monopoly or getting into an altercation with a ref over a bad call are just people who were never taught how to gracefully lose or accept a loss. 

The argument that kids should only play "winning" teams is ridiculous. Kids shouldn't play any team they can beat without trying their hardest because they will never grow as a player or person by taking the easy way out of everything. You shouldn't let them win either because that adds to the "I need to win everything' mindset. When you let your child win, you're only sheltering them from disappointment. They need to be equipped to deal with losses on a larger scale that will be a part of their future.

Losing builds character and gives you a better appreciation for winning. If a child isn't taught valuable skills when handling a loss, they could wind up as an adult having temper tantrums every time they fail or don't get a win.

Teach them as soon as possible.

You know your children and can assess when they are ready to start learning lessons on losing. Some children are ready to learn as young as two. Just be sure you don't rush them. You might feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to teach them, so just focus on teaching them how to be a good sport. If they are learning a new sport, teach them not to get upset if in the learning process. Teach them not to get discouraged if they can't dunk a basketball or hit a home run on the first try. Don't let them get pity wins if you're playing a family game. Start with low-stakes games where you all take turns winning and losing. This way, winning or losing isn't seen as a big deal.

Games like Go-fish, Candyland, Twister, or eve nI-spy are good games to use early on when teaching your children lessons. Teaching them in a supportive environment will help them understand that the outcome of the activity is part of the overall fun regardless of who wins or loses. The experience itself is much bigger.

Encourage good sportsmanship.

Kids can start playing team sports as early as three years old. When you teach them about being a good sport, you should include being a supportive teammate. Please encourage them to be a good sport by cheering for their teammates and helping them. If they win, make sure they acknowledge their opponents. If they lose, let them know that it's okay to feel disappointed. Don't allow them to use losing as an excuse to act poorly. When they do well, make sure they give credit to their teammates for their success. This will help your child develop a sense of teamwork and sportsmanship.

Being a good sport is vital in team sports. It makes the competitive game more enjoyable for everyone involved. Good sportsmanship teaches one to be graceful in winning and losing. Bad sportsmanship creates a negative environment and will suck the fun out of everything. Be sure to include the following principles when teaching good sportsmanship lessons. 

  • If you lose, don't make any excuses.
  • Don't argue or use foul language or have temper tantrums.
  • Even if it means losing, follow the rules because cheating to win isn't winning.
  • Respect your competitors even in defeat; acknowledge their skills.
  • Always end with a handshake regardless of a win or loss.

While it's easy for everyone to get caught up in the winning aspect of a game, there's more to be gained from the overall experience. Children will learn from the principles instilled that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. 

Focus on the effort. 

When we lose in a competitive game that requires a team performance, it can feel like we let everyone down and not just ourselves. Praise your child for how much effort they are putting into preparing for the competition. Tell them you are proud of how hard they worked to get there. Focusing on the effort instead allows your child to see that they can practice, perform, learn, and grow from their experience. At a loss, take the opportunity to reflect and grow. 

Ask them questions like "what do you think went well?' or "what did you learn from this that can help you improve next time?." These are good for physical sports and games that require a specific skill set. When your child has taken a loss in a competition based on a belief or popularity, try applying positive reframing. Ask a question like, "did you learn anything from your opponent?"."

No one likes to lose, but it's a part of life. Helping our children learn how to manage their feelings now will help them lose with dignity as adults, which is something to be proud of. It's okay to validate their feelings along the way as well. While it's okay to feel sad after a loss, it's not okay to be rude or angry. 

Being a parent is never easy, but guiding your children through the losing parts of life shouldn't be taken lightly. Children can develop disorders like depression and anxiety when their negative emotions get amplified. These core principles are crucial to their overall health. Next time you have a family game night or head to a soccer game, keep that in mind. 

After all, the secret to being great in life isn't about winning; it's about learning how to lose.

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How Regular Exercise is The Secret to Your Kids’ Academic Success https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-regular-exercise-is-the-secret-to-your-kids-academic-success/ Wed, 26 Jan 2022 20:43:42 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=51154 A new study found that children who got regular exercise performed better in physical activities and received higher grades.

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According to a recent study, signing your child up for sports or encouraging regular exercise is the key to their academic success.

Researchers in Switzerland were able to find a direct link between children being successful in school and performing regular physical activities like playing sports or exercising. The children were found to be getting higher marks in subjects like math and english, which was a sign of better memory and the ability to focus. Researchers concluded that their cognitive abilities were likely improved from their physical activity.

The study assessed 193 students from eight different schools to compare the children's academics and physical performance. One assessment included having the children sprint back and forth from lines that were 65 feet apart at increasing rates. Head researcher Marc Yangüez said his team looked at other contributing factors like the child's weight, height, age and sex during the study.

The recent study from Switzerland wasn't the first time that getting good grades in school has been linked to exercise. A previous experiment from Professor Charles Hillman at Northeastern University suggested that children's cardiovascular fitness contributes to their academic success.

Yangüez and his team broke the children's abilities down into three categories:

  • Memory
  • Adaptability
  • Inhibition

Julien Chanal, another researcher on the study, said by using variables to assess each child from rigor to the quickness of their responses across nine different tasks, they were able to identify the children who were performing above average. One of the tasks required the children to link letters in a climbing sequence to test their memory and repetition. "We can find out which children have a certain level of ability in the beginning and then follow them over time to see how they develop," Chanal said.

The physically fit students also excelled in foreign languages. Students were found to get higher marks in French two. Yangüez said it was likely because "French one is probably less directly concerned because the evaluation of the text and the writing depend more on subjective factors, which is less the case for mathematics or grammar, for which there is little subjectivity in the right or wrong answers."

Researchers were confident that regular exercise, whether walking, running, yoga or playing sports, was directly linked to improving a students' neuroplasticity. Thus allowing the child to become better and faster learners while increasing creativity, memory, concentration and confidence.

Daily physical fitness has also been shown to increase oxygen flow to the brain, releasing neurotransmitters and neurotrophins and supporting higher learning and thinking. It's time to make sure your children are getting daily exercise if you want them to succeed in school because science has just proven how valuable physical wellness is, especially for the youth.

Please encourage your children to get outside and play as often as they can. Children learn from watching and doing. You can help them develop a love of physical activity by encouraging them to be active. Try to get them physically active for at least 60 minutes every day.

Please encourage your children to get outside and play as often as they can. Children learn from watching and doing. You can help them develop a love of physical activity by encouraging them to be active. The CDC recommends getting your child physically active for at least 60 minutes a day in an activity that gets their heart beating faster. Less than 24 percent of children between the ages of 6 to 17 partake in the daily 60 minutes activity, so as parents, make sure your children aren't included in that statistic.

So what activities should your children be doing to help influence their education?

Aerobic Activities

Aerobic activities like running, walking, swimming, dancing and skipping are great for the heart and lungs. Why? These activities make you breathe faster and take in more oxygen. Your heart beats more quickly. It's getting a workout, too, and that's good for the rest of your body. It helps deliver all the oxygen you're taking in and delivers it to other body parts.

Endurance Activities

Endurance activities like riding a bike, skateboarding or playing soccer helps build muscle mass, strengthen bones, and burn fat. The key is to do it regularly at least three times a week as part of their 60 minutes or more physical activity routine. Help them excel at endurance activities so if they like bike riding, do it as a family. Load up the bikes, head to your favorite park, and enjoy the cool breeze riding through your hair as your family enjoys the beautiful outdoors.

Always make sure whatever physical activities or exercise your child is doing is age-appropriate. You don't want them to do intense activities that could harm their bodies more than good to their bodies. Please don't push your child to do more than they are capable of. If they aren't interested in a sport, don't force them to play it. You want them to enjoy their physical activities and not feel like they have to do something.

Exercising is supposed to feel good. It'll feel great to have such a strong and flexible body. They will thank you later when they have less health issues because they stay so active. It will also help improve their overall mental wellness since exercising releases endorphins, making them feel happier.

Researchers have suggested that exercise also helps reduce stress and anxiety. So help your children get rid of their pretest jitters by going for a walk or short run the day of the test. It will help ease their negative thoughts and allow them to focus better, making them perform better.

Not only is regular exercise going to have immediate benefits like everything mentioned above, but you're also going to help reduce your child's risk of developing severe medical conditions. Conditions like heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes later on down the road.

Children who stay fit and healthy will have an overall better quality of life. They will be happier, healthier, and smarter. So get ahead while you still can and help guide them down an enriched path full of opportunities they can benefit from.

Regular exercise isn't a luxury. It's a necessity.

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New Research Reveals Americans Worry About Their Finances 6 Times a Day https://www.familytoday.com/living/new-research-reveals-americans-worry-about-their-finances-6-times-a-day/ Mon, 24 Jan 2022 19:21:35 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=51046 It's time to unlearn bad habits and shake off your financial stress.

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We all have worries and concerns about our finances, some more than others. A new study reveals that the average American worries about their finances up to six times a day.

The survey, conducted by OnePoll, polled 2,000 adults and found that millennials were the most laser-focused on their finances out of all the respondents. They think about their finances up to seven times a day.

Many respondents felt millennials learned from previous generations' mistakes during the pandemic on better preparing for their future and how to manage their finances better. Millennials and Gen Z started investing at a much earlier age than boomers. Unfortunately, the younger generations watched their parents lose money during the pandemic. A debt tsunami emerged across the U.S. after COVID-19 forced a nationwide shutdown, which closed businesses and prevented people from working. As a result, millions of Americans were forced to file for bankruptcy. The cost of COVID-19 was over 16 trillion dollars, and many are still paying off the debt incurred during the pandemic.

Millennials and Gen Z are more likely to pay theirs off when debt. Millennials are more confident about debt, with 40 percent believing they will clear their debt within five years.

The recent survey also looked at other issues that each generation faces regarding finances and found some surprising responses to what the respondents would give up to retire today.

  • 43 percent would give up alcohol for five years
  • 30 percent would give up intimacy
  • 29 percent would give up their friendships

When it came to looking for a partner, 51 percent of millennials say they look for a partner capable of managing finances. In contrast, the other generations looked for a sense of humor. Nearly 70 percent of respondents agreed, saying they would break up with someone who had poor financial habits as excessive shopping habits are the biggest concern for all generations. 

The good news is that millennials and Gen Z are establishing financial habits that will benefit them later in life. That being said, it's never too late to change your financial practices. 

If you're struggling to pay off debt, consider the following tips to help you get on the right track.

Create a Budget

Keep track of your spending so you can make adjustments as needed. The first step is to determine how much money you have coming in each month and how much you want to save. Budgeting will help you stay on top of your finances and give you a clear picture of where your money is going. If you don't have a budget, start one today.

Find a Good Bank

Make sure you have a bank that will help you with your finances. Look for one that offers reasonable interest rates on savings accounts, low fees and easy access to your money. You may also want to consider using a credit union, which is often more consumer-friendly than banks. If you are looking for a new bank, ask friends and family members for recommendations. Word of mouth is often the best way to find a good bank. 

Choose Wise Investments

Be wary of investments that sound too good to be true, like promising to double your money in a short period. Don't invest in anything you don't understand. Don't invest in anything you don't understand. A common way to lose money is to buy into a "hot" investment that sounds good but is a poor investment and will end up causing you to lose money.

Start a Retirement Plan

Practicing good financial habits can be a waste if you don't have a retirement plan in place. If you don't have a retirement savings plan, start one. If you have a retirement savings plan, review it to ensure it is on track. It's essential to have a retirement savings plan in place to provide you with a sense of security and peace of mind.

Being financially savvy is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Cut out your bad habits, which include:

  • Eating out
  • Impulse buying
  • Living outside your means
  • Ignoring your debt

It's better to get ahead with your finances now to reduce the stress in your life. Stressing over your finances will only bring several other health problems that you likely didn't factor in. Studies over the years have directly linked financial stress to mental health issues—people in debt experience more depression and anxiety than those who are debt-free. These health issues are only going to add more pressure on your life. You don't want to have the added stress of worrying about paying off debt and then getting sick because of it.

Long-lasting financial stress will increase your risk of developing other health issues like heart disease, irregular sleeping patterns, migraines and even diabetes. Keeping our bodies constantly stressed out leaves little to no room for recovery, making our immune systems vulnerable. For many Americans, the financial stress is never-ending. The bills keep coming, and there is no end in sight, so it's essential to take control of your finances not just to ease your life but for the sake of your health.  

Making a financial plan is one of the most important things you can do for your future. Without a plan, it's easy to fall into debt and financial trouble. Having a financial plan will allow you to set goals and keep track of your progress as you work towards your financial goals. When working on your financial plan, it's important to keep in mind that the best plans are flexible. You may have a specific goal in mind, but you should also be prepared for changes in your life. Your goals may change over time, but the key is to write them down and then make a plan for how you're going to achieve them.

It's time we start stressing less and focusing more on what we can do to change our lives. Let's stop worrying about what could happen and start focusing on how we can make it happen.

In the end, you have to take action if you want to see results.

The post New Research Reveals Americans Worry About Their Finances 6 Times a Day appeared first on FamilyToday.

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Dash Cam Shows Harrowing Moment Police Officers Rescue Terrified Child From Kidnapper https://www.familytoday.com/family/dash-cam-shows-harrowing-moment-police-officers-rescue-terrified-child-from-kidnapper/ Sat, 06 Nov 2021 15:50:26 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=49989 Watch the Heart-Stopping Moment When Officers Rescue the Six-Year-Old From Her Captor.

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A Louisville family is thanking God after police officers quickly rescued their six-year-old daughter from an alleged kidnapper.

Moments before the rescue, bystanders had watched in horror as the six-year-old girl was snatched off her bike in broad daylight and put into a vehicle that sped off. It was their quick response into flight mode that led to police officers recovering the child unharmed. They provided a partial description of the alleged kidnapper's license plate which allowed police officers to locate the car almost instantly. In kidnapping cases, 78 percent of the victims died within three hours after their abduction, so officers saved this child's life.

As soon as police arrived on the scene, they ordered the driver, 40-year-old Robby Wildt, out of his vehicle, who immediately began apologizing and stated he '"felt bad" for taking the child and was coming to return her.

Officers in the video are heard shouting, "Let me see your hands! Put your hands in the air! Stay right there!"

Wildt is then instructed to walk backward and lower to his knees, where he was swiftly arrested.

Responding Officer Jason Burba opened the passenger door as dispatch mentioned another passenger and found the terrified little girl crying for her daddy. Burba immediately began comforting the child, telling her, "It's OK," as she wept.

Wildt was charged with kidnapping a minor and was placed on a 1 million dollar bond which hopefully won't get met anytime soon. Following the charge, Robby pled guilty and is currently awaiting trial.

Officer Burba said the following during an interview with WDRB-TV.

"You just can't get there fast enough. Seconds feel like hours. Your only thought is getting there as fast as you can."

The child will likely need therapy to help heal from the trauma she suffered. Children that young are defenseless, and we can only imagine how truly scared she was to be ripped away from her home. A home is a child's comfort zone. It's where they are supposed to feel the safest. Monsters are only supposed to be a figment of their imagination, not a stranger lurking to rip their innocence away. 

"She's a 6-year-old girl that obviously couldn't help herself. She was absolutely terrified. I hate the fact she went through this. I hate the fact this is probably something that's going to affect her the rest of her life. But we were able to get there. Get in the area, find her, rescue her from her captor, and we were able to prevent anything worse than what had already happened from happening to her." said Louisville Police Sgt. Joe Keeling.

Hopefully, the family in Louisville can find solace for now, knowing their daughter's captor is off the streets. While no physical harm was done, Wildt should be behind bars for the mental trauma that will likely last a lifetime with the child. Typically kidnapping charges can carry a minimum of five years behind bars. 

Parents can help keep their children safe by preaching on the realities of stranger danger which are still very real. Children need to be aware of not only their surroundings but also those closest to them. A child is kidnapped every 40 seconds in America, and 42 percent of the kidnappers are acquaintances. Your children need to know that dangerous people with bad intentions may try to lure them into their vehicles or away from a public view, which should raise red flags immediately. Young unsupervised children are prime targets for kidnappers because they can quickly grab them and escape without much of an effort.

Kidnappers and human traffickers have lure strategies that children, teens, and adults should constantly be on the lookout for, including the following. 

Kidnapper Red Flags 

  • They ask you to help find their lost dog 
  • They act lost and ask for directions. 
  • They offer candy or gifts if you get in their car.
  • They offer to give you a ride home if they see you walking alone.
  • They fake a crisis by telling you a parent sent them to pick you up.
  • Online predators will ask you to meet them alone, usually away from a public view.

Human Trafficker Red Flags 

  • A new acquaintance gives you lavish gifts and money. 
  • They offer to take you on an excellent opportunity to make a lot of money and get famous. 
  • You hear the phrase, "You can leave at any time."
  • After leaving with the acquaintance, they ask for your ID and passport to hold for "safekeeping." 
  • They want to take you on the spur-of-the-moment trip. 
  • They want to take you out of your current living situation and place you with a "friend."

It takes kidnappers just seven seconds to select their victim, which was how fast it took Robby Wildt to see the girl riding her bike and instantly circling back. Staying alert can keep you and your family safe. Remember, if you see something, say something because you may save someone's life.

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How Parenthood Continues to Cost Women More Than Men https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-parenthood-continues-to-cost-women-more-than-men/ Wed, 03 Nov 2021 20:48:43 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=49866 The Truth About the "Motherhood Penalty."

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A recent American Family Survey found that parenthood continues to cost women a higher price than men.

One of the worst things a working woman can do is have children. While having children is one of life's greatest gifts, women get immediately subjected to unfairness. It is a topic most people prefer to sweep under the rug as hearsay or opinion-based. 

Women are superheroes for the pain they bear to enter motherhood, but the hardships and expectations they face are appalling. Here are five ways parenthood affects work and family life for women and men. 

Gender Pay Gap 

Let us start with the obvious. The gender pay gap has been a highly debated topic for years. While pay discrimination became illegal over a century ago in the United States, women continue to face the gender pay gap problem on the losing side, with mothers taking the most brutal hit. On average, women make 80 cents for every dollar a man earns, and this consequence will follow women well into retirement. This number is even lower for mothers, who make 75 cents for every dollar a man earns, which comes to 16,000 dollars less annually. Fewer earnings mean fewer social security benefits to rely on down the road. 

It's often referred to as the "motherhood penalty" for women making less in the workforce. Employers still seem to believe that women are expected to stay home and be caregivers while men are the breadwinners. Women can be valuable to companies. Even with many women across the globe running Fortune 500 companies, the stigma still exists that mothers are expected to work less and become less productive. 

Women are penalized for having children. Research has shown that mothers who are employed account for the majority of all gender pay gaps. A study from Sigle-Rushton and Waldfogel found that 44 percent of employed fathers with children under 18 made less than 40,000 dollars annually, and when it came to mothers, that number was nearly double at 81 percent. Mothers even earn less than their non-mother co-workers by five percent. 

Hiring Discrimination

Mothers face discrimination from the beginning when seeking employment. They are less likely to get hired than non-mothers, even though most companies won't admit it. Researchers created a study to look at hiring preferences within companies using multiple resumes, with some resumes mentioning the applicant was a mother. Some mentioned the applicant was a non-mother. Respondents said they would hire 84 percent of the non-mothers, compared to just 47 percent of mothers. Employers automatically calculate the time-off a mother will need ranging from the pregnancy to maternity leave to childcare. Many employers don't want the burden of filling the gaps. It's easier for them, or at least in their mind, to hire a non-mother or men.

Child Care 

The number one question employed mothers get asked is "who is taking care of the children while you work," as if the father's existence is merely financial. Women are capable of caring for their children and working, I know, huge plot twist. Women are expected to stay home and care for their children because that was common for previous generations. In the 1960s, over 65 percent of first-time mothers stopped working a month prior to the birth of their child. Now the statistics have changed with first-time mothers working longer into their pregnancies and even coming back to work much sooner than previous decades, likely due to fear of losing their career or job. Men who responded in the American Family Survey said they relied on childcare from themselves and their spouse nearly 20 percent higher than women who responded on extended family and daycare providers. Almost 70 percent of the respondent mothers felt they carried the weight of childcare responsibilities, while the men felt childcare was evenly divided. Men have it ingrained in their brain that the woman is the caregiver and often don't realize the stress that adds to the working mother. Speak up with your spouse because they may not realize that stigma is outdated. 

Job Loss 

Mothers fear the risk of losing their job if they take too much time off, whether for the pregnancy or at the end with the maternity leave if they are lucky even to get maternity leave. Many states still have at-will employment regulations that allow a company to fire an employee for any reason. This is a considerable blow to mothers where time-off requests can be excessive, thus directly impacting the company. Even during the pregnancy, women are often put under limitations and restrictions that can, unfortunately, get them terminated. Former UPS driver Peggy Young filed a lawsuit against her employer after being placed on unpaid leave. A doctor told Young to avoid heavy lifting, which is very common. Her employer refused to give her lighter loads and ultimately put her on unpaid leave, leaving the mother with income loss. 

Some companies have strict maternity leave policies, and if a mother asks for additional time off, she could get fired. Instead of using the first few weeks of bonding time to enjoy a beautiful transition into motherhood, many women make the snap decision to jump back into work because losing their job is not an option. 

Household Chore Inequality

Household chores are time-consuming endeavors that never seem to get balanced between women and men. In the U.S., where women represent the majority of the workforce, it's surprising to see that they still carry the more significant portion of household chores. In previous decades women were expected to stay home to take care of the kids and maintain the home while men worked, but times have changed, and many households haven't caught up. Women often carry the stress of trying to get laundry done, dinner cooked, and the house cleaned after a long day at work, not even including the time spent with the kids. In the American Family Survey, women and men were more likely to say that being a working parent was a challenge in good parenting and career advancements. Still, women were more likely to say that being a working parent made things harder, likely due to the household responsibilities. 

Men often believe they take on the priority of paying bills and share household duties equally interestingly. The survey found that mothers felt they do two-thirds of the housework and shared paying bills equally.

A study from the U.S. Bureau of Labor found that women spend up to two hours more per day doing unpaid labor than men. We should be asking how mothers bear the brunt of the chore load where the same study found women spend almost six hours daily doing housework in addition to their jobs. If you are struggling with the daily responsibilities of running a household, discuss them with your partner. Create a plan that allows you to contribute equally to the home because less stress means a happier environment.

The progressive push from Gen Z and millennials should drastically start to change these statistics to give women better opportunities in the future and equality both in the home and in the workforce. 

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The Hidden Load: How Women Are Bearing the Burden For Unpaid Work https://www.familytoday.com/family/the-hidden-load-how-women-are-bearing-the-burden-for-unpaid-work/ Wed, 03 Nov 2021 20:33:58 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=49950 Unpaid Labor Women Provide Adds Up to Over 10.8 Trillion Dollars Per Year.

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Many American men believe household duties, including childcare, are divided equally in their home, but the truth couldn't be further. A recent American Family Survey found women become depleted for bearing the burden of unpaid work along with being a working parent.

If women in the U.S. earned the bare minimum wage for the unpaid labor they do, including household chores and caregiving for family members, they would make 1.5 trillion dollars annually, and no, that's not a typo. On a global scale, that number soars to over 10.8 trillion dollars in economic value.

Many believe the inequality between genders with household duties is purely a personal issue. But the facts show it's a global issue as well as an economic one. Men become wealthy while women bear the burden of unpaid work. Overwhelming and unpaid domestic labor means there will always be a labor supply shortage due to women not entering the workforce. Over three million women have left the workforce in the past year, which negatively impacts the economy.

In a period that is seen as being more progressive, why are women being subjected back to outdated social and cultural "gender norms." What if, for one day, women in America staged a protest and refused to perform household duties or any unpaid labor. In 1975 that's what women in Iceland did to prove that maintaining a household is a joint effort and should not just rely on the women. Men were scrambling to fill in with taking the kids to school, cleaning the house and other measures because it caused an uproar across the nation. Maybe even a global uprising would cause genders to become more united on an equal division of unpaid labor once they are educated and realize it isn't a personal issue. The saying "it takes a village to raise children" is quite literal as the responsibilities are too much for one person to handle.

Iceland's example gives the world a glimpse of how women provide a massive unacknowledged contribution to the day-to-day functions of the economy. There are an estimated 35 million working mothers in the workforce in the U.S., and nearly nine million of them are burnt out. Which could easily get attributed to maintaining households and quickly becoming exhausted trying to keep up with a career.

What would the economy look like if women left the workforce? Complete and utter chaos, here's a breakdown of what could happen if the world were to experience a day without women. 

Schools would have to close due to the already shortage of educators, leaving parents scrambling for daycare. Businesses would lose a lot of revenue along with a decline in domestic products. Local and federal courts could become a standstill with the loss of judges, clerks, and administrators. Restaurants would shutter without servers and other staff members. Law enforcement would take a massive blow, putting communities at risk. Need to cash a check or take out a loan? Your bank might be closed because women make up 85 percent of bank tellers. Need to catch the subway or a bus to work? Breaking news could turn into yesterday's breaking news because you got it, 58 percent of the media, including editors, journalists, reporters, etc., are women. Try walking or carpooling because there would be 44 percent fewer transportation workers. The industry most impacted, though, would be caregiving. Women account for 94 percent of care providers, which includes daycare, 90 percent of nurses, and 88 percent of home health providers.

The world would erupt in utter chaos if women took an entire day off, yet their subsidies continue to get overlooked. The American Family Survey found that while men believed they shared even loads in the home, women respondents said their counterparts only contributed to a quarter of the work. When it came to caregiving, naturally, women again shouldered 70 percent of the responsibilities. The truth is women are still fighting inequalities, especially in their own homes. 

So how can you promote gender equality in your home and daily life, so women do not carry the burden alone?

Start with dividing the household responsibilities equally. Women should not be spending on average two-five more hours than their partner doing chores daily. Women miss out on many opportunities like pursuing school, careers, or even a nap because the list of duties is never-ending. When the woman in your household vents about her day or needs emotional support, be there. Listen and reflect so you can eliminate whatever previous prejudice you may have had. This will also make you and your spouse closer.

Involve your children in household chores, including care work. Teach your sons they can help to cook and teach your daughters to help mow the lawn because chores have no gender. Getting an early start teaching your children gender equality will help pave the wave to a healthy and better future. 

Another issue should get addressed when it comes to women bearing the burden of most housework. Women are putting their health at risk by overworking their bodies. A study from Australia suggested not working any more than 39 hours per week, including daily chores at home. When you overwork your physical and mental state, you leave less time to eat, decreasing nutrition levels and creating less time overall for your mental state. 

Researchers have directly linked heart problems in women to being overworked in the field and at home. Women are more likely to die from a heart attack than men because they do more housework. For a long time, researchers could not link heart problems to domestic work because of differences within biologies and lifestyles. Not only do women suffer from increased symptoms and have longer recoveries, but ultimately they meet their demise to the disease. 

So next time you see your spouse running around like a track star whose feet are on fire, stop her, offer your help because she desperately needs a break. Maybe even take her out either on a date with just the two of you or load up the family to celebrate all the sacrifices she makes for your family. She needs to know her work does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. 

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