Below are 8 tips to help you think differently about your overall health and take the stress out of changes you need to make.

Ditch the scale

"I did everything right. I skipped the chocolate cake and exercised instead. Why did I gainΒ two pounds?" The bathroom scale measures everything about your body that can be weighed, including your bones, organs, liquids, muscles, connective tissue, brain, and, yes, your fat. It doesn't tell you which elements contributed to your weight gain. Bathroom scale anxiety comes from giving an inanimate object too much power. The number between your feet cannot decide whether it's a bad day or a good one. Remember this: It DOES NOT have the power to dub you a hopeless failure. Keep the significance of the number in perspective. If the scale is causing you stress, get rid of it and focus on your wellness goals instead of your weight.

Dump the diet

Diets fail because they are too restrictive, and we are in too big a hurry to be skinny. People lose weight on diets. However, the vast majority of them gain it back. We try diet after diet hoping to finally find one that works. Get off the diet rollercoaster and start taking care of yourself in a sensible way. Look at your lifestyle and assess your wellness goals. Start small with your own modifications. For example, eat all the things you normally eat, but serve yourself more sensible portions. Start walking once a week with your neighbor. Keep it up until it becomes a sustainable habit. Then, move to the next goal. Congratulations! You are living healthier.

Enjoy eating

We have this idea that if food tastes good, it's not good for us. One punishment of dieting is restrictions on satisfying foods. We accept this as the price we must pay to be skinny. If I eat a meal that isn't satisfying, I will be looking for food that is satisfying. Eating is intended to be enjoyable. There is nothing wrong with eating tender, juicy steak, or a piece of rich chocolate cake. Taste it. Savor it. Take your time. Chances are a small amount will be enough to satisfy, and you won't feel the need to overindulge. Try new recipes that add flavor without adding excessive amounts of fat and sugar. Sit down and engage your brain and your taste buds in the experience of savoring tasty, healthy food.

Slow down

We're all in a rush to fit into our skinny clothes. Maybe all we want is to lose 10 pounds, but we expect to do it in one week. Why are we so impatient? My own wellness journey took over six years. During that time, my motto was, "Slow and steady wins the race." Give yourself permission to take as long as you need to reach your wellness goals. Don't forget to be persistent. The tortoise won against the hare because he never stopped moving forward.

Move your body

We are meant to be mobile beings not couch potatoes. Exercise can be a great stress reliever. When I began my quest for wellness, I walked to the end of my road and back, which was about a half mile. There are many different forms of exercise. My husband's grandmother loved line-dancing. She stayed active throughout her 92 years. Find one or two physical activities you enjoy and get moving. Instantly you have treated yourself to a healthier body and a greater feeling of well-being.

Gather friends

Reach out to people around you and decide to support each other in becoming healthier. Whether it's an exercise buddy or someone who is just one anxious phone call away, the caring support of friends will make the journey easier and more fun. Humans are social creatures. We achieve greater heights with help from each other.

Start a joy journal

What makes you happy? What things are you most grateful for? When did you feel successful today? When we focus on the good things in our lives, we are less likely to dwell on momentary setbacks. Find a notebook or journal that makes you smile when you look at it. Keep it close, and write down things that brighten your day. Consider writing three things you are grateful for each day. You will be amazed to discover that your life is full of so many things for which to be happy.

Random acts of kindness

It's easy to become wrapped up in our efforts to change unhealthy habits. We want to live a healthier, happier life so badly we're afraid to take our eyes off the prize. Helping another person, even in a small way, gives you a chance to move outside yourself and focus on the needs of someone else. It doesn't take a lot of time to make someone else's day brighter, and you'll feel happier too.

Earlier, I mentioned my quest for wellness took six years, but that was just the beginning. Success comes gradually, and it will be less stressful when we make gradual, consistent changes with persistence.

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We should consider the following points as we try to adjust to our roles as parents of adult children.

Resist being parental

The best way to parent adult children is not to. For the first 18 years of our children's lives we have the opportunity to mold them and correct their bad behavior. Now that they are adults, it is time for them to make their own way. Respect their independence and their right to manage their own lives. As tempting as it is to tell them the right way to do it, only give advice when asked and give it sparingly and carefully. Encourage their good ideas and healthy choices. Clearly show them that no matter what happens, their parents will always love them.

Enable individual responsibility

When one of our adult daughters needed to return home for a while, I was shocked to learn my husband was not happy. He said, "We raised her to be independent. I feel like having her move home is a huge step backward." While it is often necessary for adult children to live at home, it is important to work with them on an exit strategy and to not make living at home too comfortable. Communicate with them about their needs and how long they will be staying. Decide together how much they will contribute to the monthly household expenses and what tasks are their responsibility. Be clear about house rules. When considering whether or not to co-sign a loan or give adult children money, picture what will happen to your credit and finances if they default on the loan or cannot repay the money. Supporting our children does not always include bailing them out when they get into a bind. If we are always there to prop them up, they won't learn to stand on their own two feet.

Explore new ways to connect

When our children become adults, they often move away from home. Rather than sit at home and wait for the phone to ring, try new ways to stay connected. My father-in-law has two sons and a daughter who live far away. He calls them every Sunday afternoon. My mother-in-law maintains an active Facebook account and interacts with her children and grandchildren several times a week. Phone calls, social media, and texting are all ways we can stay in touch with our adult children. Texting is especially good for a quick, "Good Morning!" or "I love you!" Always communicate love and encouragement. Plan to spend most of the conversation listening to them. Let them vent or exult, but always respect their feelings. Avoid nosy questions, and resist making judgmental comments. Another way to connect is to learn about their new experiences and interests. This communicates our interest in their lives, and our openness to learning about and experiencing new things.

Embrace your new role

Jane Isay, author of Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents, observes that "parents are being trained during this decade to enjoy living on the periphery of their children's lives, and to begin to pay more attention to themselves." Our children want us to enjoy our lives and pursue our own interests. But don't misunderstand - they still want to stay in touch.

For her book Isay interviewed parents and adult children. While "listening to grown children talk about their parents," she learned "how deeply they love us and how desperately they want us to grow and change as they do." Those are comforting words to remember as we preserve our supportive position in the wings of our children's lives while pursuing and enjoying fulfillment in our own.

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Following are those five key practices that, especially during trying times, can help you keep your marriage going strong:

1. Frequent expressions of love

. Actions do speak louder than words. Saying "I love you" is important, but showing love is vital. Pay attention to your spouse. Observe what they like and don't like. What can you do to communicate love? When my husband makes a treat he knows I'll like or surprises me with a gift, I feel loved. He feels my love whenever I spend time with him. Don't be afraid to discuss what youfeel communicates love and what doesn't.

2. Nurture your friendship

. In a marriage, it's important to like each other. Strong friendships include mutual respect, good communication, and trust. Friends strengthen and support each other. Never demean or manipulate your spouse. Safeguard the privacy of your relationship by refusing to gossip about their faults and odd habits. Focus on your spouse's positive attributes and look for opportunities to give sincere compliments.

3. Go to bed angry

The worst time to discuss a serious topic or disagreement is when you are tired. Sometimes it's best just to get some sleep. Agree to discuss the matter when both of you are rested and rational. Avoid yelling at or building up a case against your spouse. Take a moment to consider their point of view and their feelings. Problems are often solved when husband and wife lay their grievances aside for a moment and step into the other person's shoes. Express your feelings in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements such as "I feel hurt when you make light of my concerns."

4. Spend time apart

While my husband was unemployed, he took classes to earn his bachelor's degree, and I attended a local community college. I also worked on writing projects and spent time with friends. In addition to looking for a job, he ran errands and fixed our cars. Encourage your spouse to pursue his or her own interests and hobbies, and spend time pursuing yours.

5. Remember you were lovers first

The honeymoon doesn't need to be over. Have fun together doing things you both enjoy. When our first child was two weeks old, she spent a few hours with her grandparents while my husband and I went on a date. This is a time set aside to focus on each other. It matters less what you do and more that you build your relationship as a couple. Choose activities that allow you to interact and share positive experiences. Keep at minimum activities that draw your focus away from each other, such as watching movies or dining with other people. Husbands, open your wife's door. Wives, let him.

The glue that sticks a marriage together and makes everything easier is 100 percent devotion to each other. There are those who believe marriage is a 50/50 proposition. These folks won't be married long and they'll always feel cheated. Give your all, and don't let less important things distract you from nurturing and strengthening your marriage. This week, determine which of the five practices outlined above you need to work on the most in your marriage. If you haven't been going on dates with your spouse, for example, focus on the idea that you were lovers before you were spouses and pick the day and time that you will spend alone with each other each week.

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