Guy Bliesner – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Wed, 28 Aug 2013 18:54:39 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Guy Bliesner – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 School safety: practical steps for parents https://www.familytoday.com/family/school-safety-practical-steps-for-parents/ Wed, 28 Aug 2013 18:54:39 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/school-safety-practical-steps-for-parents/ As kids go back to school in the years following the Sandy Hook shooting what are the practical, common sense…

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Many parents will not send children back to school with the same carefree ease of past years. With the headlines and news stories over the last few years it could hardly be otherwise. From the student abduction from a bus in Midland City, Ala., to the devastating tornado in Moore, Okla., to the horrible tragedies at Columbine, Nickle Mines, and Sandy Hook sending your kids back to school just doesn't seem as safe as it once was.

In many schools, changes in safety and security procedures will be apparent and likely a bit more inconvenient. Find out what the changes are and what your part in the new procedure is. Then smile, take a deep breath and remember school security and convenience are most often at opposite ends of the spectrum and a school should first be a castle keeping your kids safe.

And if nothing has changed, that should engender a conversation with your school administration, as well.

Parents across the country are aware of the safety concerns and potential threats like never before. Given all of the angst, the question becomes what are the effective, practical, common sense steps parents can take as a part of the back-to-school process to help make their student safer this year?

1. Keep the school informed

Update emergency contact information.

Even before school starts, during registration make sure that the information contained in your student's record is both correct and current. A minor mistake, say a transposed number during input, can render a critical phone number useless when most needed. Check the information in your student's record carefully.

Keep records current.

We live in a highly mobile society and information becomes dated rapidly. Remember to update your student's record when changes occur. This includes not only changes for you, but for everyone listed as a potential emergency contact for your student. Remember these are the folks your school will try to contact if you are not available.

Coordinate special circumstances.

Should there be any special needs or unique issues for your student or family - and this can run the gamut from special medical conditions to custody issues - make sure they are a part of your student's record. Then have a conversation with your school's administration to be certain they are aware of your needs.

2. Be informed

Ask your school about their emergency operations procedures. This should include such questions as: How will I be notified of an emergency? What kind of information can I expect and how will I receive it? If the school is evacuated where will my child be taken? How will they be returned to me? And possibly the most important question: What are the school's expectations of me, as a parent, during an emergency?

Emergencies of all magnitudes occur at schools across the nation on a regular basis, everything from loss of power or water to severe weather, hazardous materials, fire or even, though highly unlikely, school violence. With all of the possibilities this becomes one of the most crucial conversations to have with your child's school officials.

3. Be aware

Parking lots are dangerous.

One of the most congested and dangerous roadways in your area for 20 minutes twice a day through the school week is the parking lot of your local school. Schools, particularly elementary schools were once largely walking destinations. Not the case anymore. Most older schools were poorly designed for the amount of traffic they now experience.

Be smart and safe in the parking lot.

Large cars and small children in close proximity have the potential to be a recipe for disaster. Contact your school and find out about their student drop-off and pick-up procedure. If you drive your student, be prepared for some delays and consider a carpool to help lessen the congestion. And if you use the parking lot, never let small children walk from the parking lot to the school unaccompanied.

Use the bus.

Statistically, the safest way to get a student to school is the big yellow school bus. If your child is eligible for bus transportation strongly consider it. The weak link in student supervision is, generally, the bus stop. Plan on going to the bus stop with your student, adult eyes will go a long way to deter any unwanted behavior. Chances are you will meet other parents there and can plan to share this duty, as well.

Plan ahead and practice.

If your student walks or rides a bike to school plan to walk or ride the route with them prior to the start of school. This will allow you to look for any hazards and teach safe walking and riding habits. Consider starting a Walking School Bus or Bike Train program for your neighborhood. More information on this can be found on the National Safe Routes to School web site.

4. Speak up

One of the easiest and most practical school safety steps you can and should take, if you see something, say something. It sounds simplistic but this is one of the most effective tools a school community has to help increase safety and security. If something appears suspicious, it likely is. Make a phone call; don't assume that someone else will. School officials and local law enforcement would rather respond to a false alarm than miss responding to a real incident.

As Labor Day approaches, and you send your kids back to school, think of the words of an old TV cop show, "Remember, be safe out there."

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Warning: Talking to your teenager can make you stupid https://www.familytoday.com/family/warning-talking-to-your-teenager-can-make-you-stupid/ Mon, 11 Feb 2013 22:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/warning-talking-to-your-teenager-can-make-you-stupid/ Talking to your teenager can make you stupid, or at least make you feel that way. No matter what I…

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This may be generational phenomenon; my grandfather often said that talking with my dad in his adolescence made him feel a bit slow. My father says such conversations took place with me in my teenage years. Now, my 17-year-old son regularly causes me to feel less than intelligent.

So, is this normal?

When my son was younger, he came to me for answers. Obviously expecting me to provide the perfect answer, he would pose loads of questions. Anything from "Do fish sleep?" and "Do worms have eyes?" to "Where does the white go when the snow melts?" and everything in between.

In addition, he would listen as I explained the important things in life, such as how to start the lawn mower and how to clean the spark plug to fix it when it does not cooperate. How to cast a fly line, cook a meal, and all the other things a young person needs and wants to know as they grow, dominated our discussions.

I miss those days. Quite frankly, I was pretty good at it.

Then something happened.

It seemed no matter what I said, I got the eye roll. Every parent of teenagers knows the eye roll, the one that means, "Boy, you're just not very bright." Couple this with the quick look away that means, "How could you even say that?" and you have the substance of much of our recent conversation.

The subject at hand has been largely irrelevant. The conversation can be as innocent as "What are your plans for this evening?" or as biting as "Clean that spark plug or the mower won't start." The response is eerily similar, seemingly calculated to purposely make me feel as unintelligent as possible.

Shortly after this began, I was beginning to feel a bit isolated, wondering if it was just my son and me with this issue, but a quick Internet search on the key words "communications," "problems," and "teenager" showed over 100,000 articles. I felt better for a bit, then I had a conversation with my son and just felt dumb again.

I can trace the change to roughly the same time frame as the boy getting a driver's license. The phenomenon may have a simple explanation, something like an adolescent allergy to auto upholstery, but I doubt it. I think a more likely reason is that he's a young person simply trying to define himself, to develop an individual identity separate of his parents' and just not being very good at it, yet.

I discussed this hypothesis with my dad, and he thoughtfully agreed. I asked what brought him to this conclusion. With a poorly concealed smile and a sparkle in his eyes, he said that our conversations had ceased to make him feel stupid.

I guess there is hope, a light at the end of the tunnel.

So to answer the question, if this is happening to you, it seems to be pretty normal.

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How to start your own family tradition https://www.familytoday.com/family/how-to-start-your-own-family-tradition/ Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:21:29 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-to-start-your-own-family-tradition/ Traditions are the structure that helps to bind families together. All families need traditions that are unique.Why go to all…

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Traditions are the structure that helps to bind families together. All families need traditions that are unique.

Why go to all the trouble to start a tradition in the first place?

Traditions help to foster a sense of belonging. When you participate in an activity unique to a group, you are (by that activity) affirming your identification with that group. If this identification is important for churches, lodges, sports teams and the military, it is crucial for our families as well.

Traditions serve a number of purposes: Some traditions teach principles, others foster family unity, others are simply fun and some fulfill all three of these. The traditions that transmit the principles of your family's values are critical. Telling children what they should do is good, having them do it is better and doing it with them is best. No matter what it is, you show them that it is worth your time.

For example, in my family, we always open one package on Christmas Eve, and to this day, it has always been pajamas. That may sound a bit odd to you, but many of my best memories center around Christmas Eve and new pajamas: First with my mom, dad, brothers and sisters; later with my wife and kids and now with my grandkids. Traditions give us structure.

The traditions of your extended family are important, but the traditions you start with your own family are equally as important. Here are a few suggestions on how to begin your own traditions:

1. Reflect

Look back your own life, talk with your spouse and discuss past traditions that you may want to continue with your own family. Chose traditions from both backgrounds. Continuing traditions that already exist is really pretty easy. The harder job is creating new ones.

2. Investigate

Do a bit of research, and ask others about their own family traditions. Pick families and people that you admire. (Chances are that they are doing something right.) Next decide what you want the tradition to do for your family.

3. Persist

Traditions don't happen from one occurrence: They have to occur over and over again. Be prepared to follow through. An event that only happens once or twice will never make it to tradition status. Before you begin the new tradition, be certain you are ready to commit to the endeavor.

4. Explain

Whatever your tradition, at some point or another a child will say something akin to, "This is really dumb. Why do we have to do this?" The status of the activity as a family tradition gives you the ultimate answer. Simply smile saintly and answer, "Of course we are going to do it, it's our family tradition."

As you embark on this effort, and there will be effort, remember it is our family traditions that are the mortar that give our families identity and bind our families together.

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