Right now, we have a bull dog, Ivy, and a whole slew of fish in a giant tank in the boys' room (I believe their names range from Blackie, Big Fish, Baby Fish, to the Brothers). The host of lessons and teachable moments with these animals as part of our family are endless. With any animal, the opportunity is there to teach:

1. Responsibility

Teaching your children to be responsible for another life in all its many facets has countless rewards. Not only do they learn to contribute to the care and well-being of others, but they also learn to respect what you do as their parent. As they play "mommy" to their pets, they put someone before themselves, they clean, they work hard. It can be a light bulb moment in communicating family roles and the necessity of everyone's contribution to the greater good.

2. Care/empathy

Teaching your children to recognize the needs of another being and to empathize in a way that prompts action and care is an invaluable life lesson. I truly believe that having a heart for others is a learned skill that comes from seeing that same love and devotion in action in the people surrounding you and from being in an environment that demands and challenges you to consider others before yourself. I want my children to have servant hearts. Caring for their pets is a helpful first step in molding that character trait.

With our specific family pets, we can highlight some specific teachable moments.

Respect for animals/awareness for their natural cues

We spend a lot of time talking about what Ivy is doing and why, and most importantly, what that means for us. Is she resting and should we leave her be? Is she jumping and wants to play? Did she growl and what does that mean? Teaching children that pets are animals and not toys, and to have a healthy respect and awareness for the natural cues they give us as to whether or not they should be approached, gives them the tools to make the best decisions for their safety.

Loyalty

Take this one with a grain of salt, since Ivy isn't loyal to anyone except my husband, but that relationship is truly something to behold. Those two are so stinkin' in love with each other. The sun rises and sets on my husband and that example of true friendship and loyalty is especially important to little boys in my humble opinion. A boy and his dog. Is there anything sweeter?

Routine

Need I say more? We are all hoping to maximize every opportunity to teach our children how to follow and appreciate a good routine.

Obedience

Yeah, this one pretty much speaks for itself too. Watching the relationship develop between hearing a "command," acting on it and the resulting positive reinforcement is a great example for any child.

Ask permission

Here's another safety one. The boys have been taught that we must never approach any animal, especially a dog, from behind or without asking the owner first if it is OK if they pet it. Upon receiving permission, they have been taught to put out their hand and let a dog sniff first, and pet second. Respect.

With our fish, of countless aforementioned names ...

Counting

We count our fish in every way possible. By color, by size, by family. Count, count, count. How many fish are eating? How many fish are hiding in the cave? I use every opportunity in that fish tank to get them thinking.

Security

They go to sleep at naps and night time with the tank light on. They find an incredible restfulness and sense of security by watching the peaceful underwater environment ebb and flow. It quiets their spirits and develops their imaginations. They feel content and safe knowing their fishies are "watching over them."

Socialization

We talk at length about the personalities of our different fish. We have fish that are friends with each other and are inseparable. We have super shy fish that hide and we speak encouragements to them to help them feel more a part of the group. We have the food stealers and the bottom feeders. The schools and the loners. We are learning, albeit on a much smaller scale, to identify emotions and personality through action.

Life and death

Fish come and go pretty frequently. The boys are still a bit young to understand what's happening when we flush a fishy, but I'll continue to talk them through what happened and why, and I'm sure at some point, when they have a better understanding, it will be a teachable moment that it is OK to feel sad and miss someone who leaves, but that we keep on keepin' on.

Pets aren't for everyone. And as a mother of multiples, I'll be the first to say that sometimes you just don't have the resources to properly care for an animal while you can barely survive the day-to-day chaos of the kids. That's perfectly OK. There are a million other just as effective ways to instill these different values and similar activities. If you are a pet owner, or foresee yourself becoming one in the future, keep these helpful tips in mind and use your pet not only as a new family member to love on, but also as a teachable moment for your children as they develop into sturdy, responsible contributing members of society.

Editor's note: This article was originally published on Katy Blevins' blog, Chaos and Kiddos. It has been republished here with permission.

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The world is all razzle-dazzle these days. The simple life has long since been replaced with gadgets, high-definition and real time, second-by-second coverage of every single moment, flying by at rapid speed. No rest for the weary. It's flashy, lightning fast and it's so hard to keep up.

As a parent, I've found the pressure to "perform" to be brutal. When E was younger, we of course, wanted to give her "the world." Of course that meant stimulating her on a variety of creative, educational, emotional and physical levels, right? On Mondays, she went to math tutoring so she could be the top of her class. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, she went to the new kid's gym that opened down the street for developmentally structured play. On Wednesdays, we did church dinner and youth group for social and spiritual growth. On Saturdays, here came the soccer games, group play and physical endurance. Sunday was family church day. Couple that with juggling the complex visitation schedule of a blended family, and she was always on the go. ALWAYS. She loved each of these activities individually, but when combined, was she really having fun? Or was she exhausted?

She started exhibiting major behavior issues. Catty and grouchy. Whiny and needy. Sometimes in-your-face defiant and sometimes a basket case of nerves. We couldn't put our finger on it and honestly, we were frustrated with her. We were running around like her private taxi service, trying to give her every opportunity that every child ever wants and wasn't she even the least bit grateful? What were we missing? What did she want from us? Didn't she have it all?

Then we skipped her gym class one night by random circumstance. And we happened to not make it to youth group the next night. I thought she'd be frustrated to miss out on these activities that I assumed she was enjoying. Surprisingly enough, she actually seemed relieved. So on a whim, I skipped everything for just over a week. The result was astonishing. E started laughing again, relaxed and seemed to almost crave just going home and being with the family. She looked hopeful. When she asked the question "Are we just going home tonight?" when I picked her up from school with eyes happy and waiting "¦

It hit me. Less is more.

Our neighbor down the street has a daughter in traveling soccer, private tutoring, violin lessons, acting camps, production plays, basketball, youth group. The list goes on. And on. And on. I sometimes wonder when they ever eat, much less sleep. I admit to coping with demons in my head, telling me that I'm selling E short, when that family eye rolls us or makes comments about how their child is so much better prepared for the "real world." There have even been comments of E being "that child" that others shouldn't want their kids around because she's not an All-American All Star at the top of her academic class. Wouldn't they rather hang out with their child, who is so much better than E? As I see E's feelings being hurt, I wonder, am I making the right choice? Are they better parents than me?

And then I look at E and I see everything we've gone through together as a family. Blended family disaster and all. And I know we're doing a good job. This is what she needs. Us. Just us.

The point here is that what my child needs isn't what your child may need. And vice versa. That super busy family with loads of activities might be serving their child in the very best way that works for all of them and meets their unique needs perfectly. What they are doing isn't wrong (although I sure do wish they'd keep their judgments to themselves). What I am doing isn't wrong. The point is that we need to release the pressure to perform. I'm not a parent because I want to show the world that I am awesome and can live up to every standard and expectation of this crazy, fast-paced world. I'm a parent because I want to create and raise and love on a child with all of my heart and soul. And fundamentally that means my only purpose is to identify their needs and seek to meet them. Whatever they are. I sit in judgment of no one else and their methods, but more importantly, I'm working to not sit in judgment of myself. I don't need to compare or analyze or compete. For us, less is more. For E, less is more.

Her smile is the only vindication I need. The only Medal of Honor I want to wear.

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Within minutes of meeting any mom, I usually hear something to the effect of "You're so lucky you are a photographer! I bet you just get fantastic pictures of your kids all the time! I wish I could get better photos of my children." I'll put aside the whole shoemaker's kids don't have shoes thing (usually the last thing I want to touch at home is my camera), and reply "No, we have horrible days too and girl, my iPhone pics are HORRENDOUS!"

In truth, you can be the best technical photographer in the world, but if you don't know how to connect with kids, it's a slow and painful train wreck for everyone involved. Anyone can get better photos of their children if they simply change their perspective from "I want this photo" to "My kids are making an awesome memory." Here are 10 tips to get better photos of your children and make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.

1. Seek out great light

If your kids are anything like my kids, they move faster than seems scientifically possible and they are on the go from the second their eyes open until they jump their last trampoline jump in their beds before sleep. In order to keep up with their speed with my camera, I need to give it a helping hand by taking pictures in great light. The better the available light, the faster the camera's shutter speed can move and the closer I get to keeping up with the crazy. Great light can be anything from a room with bright sunlight streaming in, to the comfy shade under a big tree. Direct sun provides a ton of light, but it causes squinty eyes and with kids, general frowns and discontent. Great light is friendly light where your kids can play comfortably without any notice of the sun.

2. Meet them where they are

Great photos of your children all depend on mood. Before I pick up the camera, I have to ask myself "Am I about to pull them away from something fun for my own benefit or am I seeking to make a memory of what we are doing?" Try to make sure you are entering and engaging with them where they are at instead of pulling them aside to say "Stand still! (Translation: Stop having fun!) Mommy wants a picture!" Instead, I usually ask "Hey there! Are you having an awesome time?!" and am usually greeted with a huge grin, bright eyes and a "Yeah!" and CLICK. Great picture.

3. Get down to their level

This is the next step to meeting them where they are. As adults, we so often overlook the good stuff in life. As we tower over our kids, we struggle to capture the moment in its true form. I always try to "get low" when taking pictures of my kids. I want those pictures to reflect the world as they saw it. It's a great reminder to see how captivated they are with tiny ants, how big the world feels to them, and how focused they are on experiencing every aspect of life. I don't want my photos to look down on them. I want my photos to be them. Know what I mean?

4. Start with silly faces

The camera can feel overwhelming to children. Mommy has just put a big giant piece of machinery on top of her face, I can no longer see her eyes, and it beeps and clicks and flashes and she wants me to sit still and smile, when I really just want to run for the hills. Or just have my Mommy back. You have to teach children that the camera is fun and not something to fear. The best way to do that is to start silly. A soft voice that encourages them to show off their best funny faces can loosen the mood and let them know that this is play time, not work. We take pictures because we love to capture our family having fun! I always make silly noises and silly mouth faces or stick out my tongue to encourage them that Mommy is playing too and is still there behind the camera.

5. Show them the back of the camera

Kids are totally vain, self-centered little animals. They love nothing more than to see themselves projected on the camera viewing screen. This amazing surprise of seeing themselves on the camera can often prompt sillier faces, greater engagement and a committed effort on their part to help you get great photos. Don't be afraid to take the time to "ooh" and "ahh" over their latest frame and boost their egos a bit with how awesome their pictures look.

6. Let them play

We already talked about not interfering with the fun that is happening, but if you're dying for better photos and need to "create" the play environment, then go for it! When I want some updated pictures of my kids, I usually take them somewhere new to play or break out an awesome art project. I want to see my kids happy and in action, doing what they love best! Things like board games, painting, even watering flowers or trying to fold laundry "¦ these little moments are divine. I promise you'll be happier with these images than the ones from when you told them to freeze and stand still by the stairs so you could snap a picture, grumpy smiles, begrudging shoulder sags and all.

7. Kid chat

If they are tapping out and getting quickly distracted, often times you can bring them back to "center" by engaging them on their favorite topics. I love to chit chat with my kids while I shoot. "Is your favorite color blue?" "Who is your best friend?" "Is your Mommy the best Mommy in the whole wide world?" (Naturally that last one always brings a big smile to their faces "¦ ha) Engage them and let them show off what they know and tell you their preferences. When you have their genuine interest, you get better photos every time.

8. Act quickly

The best thing you can do to get better photos is to know your camera. Whether you take a class, read the manual or hit up YouTube, make sure you're comfortable with its basic functionality BEFORE you try to wrangle the kids for pictures. You surely know that any hesitation on your part means they're off and running. Be ready and engage, quickly! Don't aim for marathon sessions. Shoot for short bursts to avoid them feeling antsy or trapped. The more you know about your camera, the faster you can be in and out when it comes to capturing better photos without their annoyance.

9. Avoid pictures before excitement

My mom used to always make us stop at the bottom of the stairs before Christmas so she could get a picture of our eyes closed before we saw all of our presents. One word. Torture. Be mindful of what your kid is thinking before you stop them for a picture. If they're en route to a pile of presents, or excited to ride the school bus for the first time, the last thing they probably want is to stop and smile for the camera. You have now become a roadblock on their path to awesome, and they will surely let you know it. Instead, take a picture the night BEFORE Christmas, when they are excited for Santa to come and know bedtime is coming and are willing to extend their excitement just a little bit longer. Dress them in their school clothes the week before school for a little model walk photo shoot so they can be energized by the excitement that comes with knowing that school starts in a few days. Choose your timing wisely.

10. Don't force it. Know when to walk away

The minute you hear the first whine, your time behind the camera is limited. Instead of trying to force it and squeeze every possible frame that you can as moods sour and attitudes bristle, know when the timing is wrong and to put the camera down for a few minutes until things pick back up. It might feel frustrating at first, but you'll be happier in the end (as will they).

As you work the steps above more frequently, you'll find that you don't need to force it at all, and those days when they're just not into it, you'll be more than happy to put the camera down, knowing that you'll get better photos later.

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I remember the first time I handed J a mini marshmallow after he peed on the potty. E looked at me at the ripe old age of 13 and said "You know, he's going to expect a present every time he uses the bathroom for the rest of forever now," complete with "lamest parent ever" eye roll. Potty training twin boys was (is) the most challenging milestone I have encountered yet, especially as a neat freak with OCD. It's just plain nasty. If I had to convince them to use the potty by plying them with 24-karat gold, I probably would have tried it. But E was right. Learning how to graduate from rewards to real life was the biggest piece of the puzzle.

How do you use rewards without setting a precedence for everyday actions? As I often do, I consulted their daycare teachers. They've been potty training kids for years! They can practically do it blindfolded at this point, and you all know I'm a firm believer of using your resources and consulting the pros wherever possible. I'm proud to report both boys are 99 percent potty trained thanks to them and our bank account is 99 percent happier for it.

The concept is fairly simple. It's designed as a series of graduations that give smaller rewards over time. As the rewards get smaller, the expectations and excitement of the children get smaller as well, and when the rewards are redirected to another area of teaching, they are none the wiser and continue the learned behavior without the expectation of receiving a treat every time they perform.

Here's the official breakdown:

Step 1

Pick a toy from the treasure chest any time they pee or poop on the potty.

Step 2

Pick a sticker every time they pee on the potty. Pick a toy from the treasure chest every time they poop on the potty.

Step 3

Pick a sticker every time they pee or poop on the potty.

Step 4

Pick a toy from the treasure chest when they stay dry all day with no accidents.

Step 5

Pick a sticker when they stay dry all day with no accidents.

Step 6

Redirect stickers to another activity (i.e. first to sit quietly on the rug).

Step 7

All rewards related to bathroom breaks are removed. Child uses the bathroom independently without expectation of reward.

Simple, right? Yet, I totally had no idea how to approach it and am incredibly grateful for the wisdom of those who have gone before me. My own super simple tips and tricks to potty training?

1. Potties, potties everywhere

We used these awesomely cheap, super easy to clean tiny potties from Ikea. Two downstairs where they could see them, two upstairs where they could see them.

2. Car diaper station

We had extra pull ups for long days away from home, extra sets of clothes, underwear, wipes and fresh smelling baggies to tie up dirty clothes right in the trunk of the car. Always prepare for the worst. Because it always happens. And it's always messy.

3. Mini car potty

We found this awesome little gem on an online yard sale site (and thoroughly sanitized the heck out of it when we bought it). This enabled us to make quick stops, stay longer at the playground without braving nasty, bug-infested restrooms or porta-potties (AKA OCD Katy instantaneous death) and the boys thought it was darn cool. Win.

What was the potty training item you couldn't live without? The one tip or trick that was keystone to your success? Your favorite beverage to enjoy on a day of nasty accidents and constant clean ups? Share the love!

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Per the doctor's orders, I was put on modified bed rest just shy of 27 weeks due to a constant pattern of contractions. This is not unusual in a multiples' pregnancy, and I'd been mentally preparing myself to slow down right around that time, so that direction from the doctor came as no big surprise.

Almost five weeks at home and two weeks in the hospital later, I delivered at 34 weeks. During that period of time, I shed many tears, had lots of anxiety and was bored beyond reason. Here are 10 tips to bed rest sanity that really helped me along the way:

1. Visitors

I needed to see people frequently. Hear different voices, anticipate visits. The important thing to note was I did this when I felt up to it and when it worked best for me. Sometimes I didn't want to see anybody. And that was OK. When they did come, many of them helped with cleaning around the house. Even hearing them clean helped my OCD (I really struggled with anxiety hearing the house "live" around me without any input or control. Yup, I'm a nut.). And I admit, visitors were required to bring food. Ha. I lived vicariously through the awesome snacks they brought me since I couldn't cook for myself.

2. Netflix

Did you know there are 120 episodes of "Lost"? I watched episode 120 the morning before I was admitted to the hospital for the last two weeks of bed rest. Netflix is THE. BOMB. The first thing husband did when I got put on bed rest was to buy me a new Blu-Ray player that had Netflix (and Amazon Prime) already in it. He set me up like a Queen!

3. Social Media/Blog

Social media is the obvious connection to the outside world. It's a lot easier to keep up and stay connected than back in the dark ages when they put the pregnant chick in a back room in the castle with the windows covered up. Share your journey! It will feel good. You'll need the pep talks from around the world!

4. Mini Fridge

This one probably should have claimed the number 1 spot. We had a fantastic friend offer one to us (she even delivered!) and it was such a major asset. The husband would stock it up every morning on his way to work and I had everything I needed for the day within arm's reach by the bed.

5. Hobby

Being a photographer, I had the great luxury of plenty of creative work at my disposal to pass the time. I've heard of people who took up knitting and knit a million sweaters or cross-stitch or any other hands-on hobby that kept their brains busy and the hands moving.

6. Books/Magazines

My Kindle Fire is my best friend. I went through so many awesome books during my time on bed rest. And then I asked visiting friends to bring over their favorite books and I read those too. It was neat to see what different people brought and I learned some more about their personalities and style too! I joined Goodreads to keep up with my progress and find new books to read. Super cool!

7. Puzzles/Games

Having other children while on bed rest is super tough. Not only is it frustrating to you to not feel like you can provide the care for them that you would like, it is frustrating for them to feel your "absence" in their own daily routine. Setting aside time when they come home from school to sit on the bed and play a board game with you or do some other activity together can brighten your day and help them still feel connected and important.

8. Develop a Routine

In those darker bed rest moments, you can sometimes feel yourself falling into the abyss of boredom and in truth, a little bit depressed. Feeling so sedentary can have some major negative effects if you're not careful. Establish a routine! In the hospital, I made a point to try and wake up by 7:30 a.m., order breakfast each day at 8 a.m., read two chapters of my book, then watch an episode of whatever show I was on. Even the stupid stuff. I made it my routine. I gave my time and day value.

9. Skype. FaceTime. Google Hangout

Praise God for technology! Sometimes you need to see a face that's far away. We're blessed with the tools to do so.

10. Stay Ordered And Clean

There were so many mornings that I just didn't feel like brushing my hair or getting dressed. I made myself do it anyway. On those most rare days when I had just had too much, cabin fever, about to go psycho, crazy and didn't do those simple human tasks? Well, those days got worse. Even when I didn't want to do it, making sure I made an effort to stay clean and ordered, I felt better for it afterwards. It was important to still try and feel like a woman, even with the most minimalist efforts. Ya know?

There will be super highs and super lows on bed rest. You have one job "¦ baby grower. Embrace that and do your best to find peace in your heart. It won't always be easily identified, but work to stay calm and focused on keeping the best mental state for your little babe (or babes!) as they grow inside you. Every second spent on bed rest allows them to take one step closer toward full development. It is worth every bit of hard work, energy and dark moments to know that each day you've passed a new milestone and given them a better chance at the best life. Every day counts.

Bonus Tip! Enjoy the slower pace.

While quite literally bored to tears while on bed rest, I sometimes find myself looking back on those days among the chaos of twin toddlers, sleepless nights, epic tantrums and indescribable moments of filth and boy nasty, and go "Man, those were the days." I wouldn't trade my chaotic little piece of heaven for the world, but I sure would like a week, jeez "¦ an hour! of time where I had to do absolutely nothing but lay in bed. Ahhh "¦ even now, I am dreaming of it. One day.

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As parents, we often make the assumption that our children are picking up on the "obvious stuff" along the way. In the chaos of daily life, we leap into generalizations and force expectations on them when they may not understand why or what we mean.

A good example of this is learning how to say you're sorry. We're quick to force our kids to deliver a half-hearted apology with "You say you're sorry right now!" as punishment for wrongdoing, but do we ever take the time to explain how you do this properly and why it is important when it comes to life and the people around you? And let's really be honest, are we great examples of how to say you're sorry for our children? I know I'm not. I bet we often need the same reminders. Instilling empathy and awareness for one's conscience is invaluable for a quality life with fulfilled relationships. Here are a few tips for teaching your children how to say you're sorry and mean it.

The most important thing to remember is DO NOT teach your children to say sorry just because you told them to. Don't force it! Coughing up a hurried "Sorry" with a grumpy face, annoyed voice and general discontent with the overall expectation makes an apology meaningless for everyone involved. The "wrong-doer" doesn't claim responsibility for their actions and realize they caused hurt to someone else, so they are extremely likely to repeat the behavior in the future. The "victim" still feels hurt and devalued that no one has empathized with their pain or acknowledged that they shouldn't have been treated that way, so they walk away even more hurt.

That's not to say that delivering the apology just shouldn't happen if they don't mean it. It's simply a matter of introducing some thought and self-review into the scenario. Instead of forcing the immediate apology in the heat of the moment, try saying "Child of mine (insert name please "¦ ha), that behavior (describe specifically) is not OK because it hurt somebody (insert name) in this way (insert why). That's not how we treat people in this family. If you're feeling this way (insert emotion), you should do this (describe specifically) instead."

If they look immediately repentant, let them go ahead and say they are sorry. If they are still stuck in the moment and angry, try saying "I can see that you're not ready to say sorry yet. Why don't you take a moment to sit down over here (time out spot) and think about what happened and why you should say sorry to help (insert name) feel better about what happened. Let me know when you're ready."

When they are ready to apologize, make sure you've gone through the proper steps to say you're sorry:

• Look the person in their eyes

• Use a clear voice that they can hear

• Tell them you're sorry for (insert whatever was done)

• Say what you should have done instead

• Hug it out (or give them space if they need it)

Going through this more meaningful process shows value to the "victim," but more importantly, educates your children about appropriate behavior, taking responsibility for themselves and showing concern and care for others. Any opportunity to instill strong communication skills in your children, especially when it comes to tense moments, should be taken to the fullest extent. Never assume they understand the why behind the what. They covet your wisdom (even when they act like they don't want it!) and they look to you to help them understand their place in the world. Learning how to say you're sorry is a very important piece of that journey and one we should all be careful not to overlook.

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Sometimes blog posts just drop into my lap. This was one of those times. Just another day in paradise, coping with the usual chaotic pick up from day care, where my children were inevitably bickering over some take-home item that clearly didn't belong to either of them (after being perfect at day care all day long "¦ remember How to Speak the Right Language: Understanding Your Child's Cues?).

As one delivered the "You don't take things from me!" in screechy, ear-deafening banshee-wail and raised a hand to grab/pinch/hit/take your pick, I curbed the fight with a simple, direct "Let me be the mommy." They immediately looked to me and I started to talk to both of them about the item and who it belonged to and brokered the appropriate peaceful resolution.

As I turned back to packing their things, another mom walked up to me and said "That's a fantastic phrase! I've never heard that before and it's so smart. I'm totally going to use that. Thank you!!" And the blog post angels sing. As Gru in Despicable Me (best movies ever!) says, "Lightbulb!"

So, what does that phrase mean to my kids? I noticed that both of them just love playing the role of the little policeman. They constantly boss each other about, are the first to ring the bell when someone breaks a rule and often get into huge fights with each other over perceived injustices that sometimes, almost always, end up with someone crying, getting hit/pinched/bit/take your pick or an all-out WWE wrestling match.

I started asking "Hey! Who is the mommy here?" and they'd both yell "You are the mommy!" and I'd reply "OK, then, let me be the mommy and step back a minute and trust me to figure this out for you." Situation diffused. It's evolved over time to just "Let me be the mommy" and while not a perfect system, most of the time, it gives me just enough pause to step in and regain control.

This serves two major purposes for my kids and I:

1. It teaches them to trust me to advocate on their behalf and proceed fairly to a calm resolution that makes everybody happy. The "hurt" individual gets vindicated and the "hurting" individual gets an opportunity to thoughtfully choose to do the right thing.

2. It teaches them that it is inappropriate for them to take matters into their own hands and address frustrations with violence. The better response is to seek help from a trusted adult.

Identifying family roles and appropriate behavior are key at this age. We're currently battling the tantrum phase as well, and I'm sure I'll be blogging more about that little gem later. Right now, this is our mommy phrase that pays and I'm going to keep on keepin' on with it until the cows come home.

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