When a pet dies, a lot of people feel that they've lost a family member. This can be harder for children, especially if they have never encountered death before.

How do you explain to a young child the meaning of life and death, without psychologically scaring them? I recently faced this challenge when our pet goldfish, Nemo, died. Nemo was a present for Johnny's 5th birthday, but unfortunately he only lived a few short months.

We cared for our goldfish to the best of our abilities, but his time with us was cut short. The entire family was upset; this was our first pet and Johnny was very fond of the little goldfish.

My first instinct was to give Johnny a vague explanation of death and hope that he would forget about Nemo and busy himself with a nearby toy. Unfortunately, he had the opposite reaction. Even though I explained that Nemo was in a better place, Johnny didn't understand why Nemo had to leave.

I started doing online research for the best way to tell Johnny that his beloved pet had passed. I found that experts and psychologists believe that my original tactic of brushing it off vaguely will only make the situation worse. It can leave your child feeling anxious and mystified, which is exactly what happened.

How children handle death

Of course, many parents face this struggle with their children. It's a sad experience, but a common one. Pets can die because of an accident, illness or just old age.

As adults, we may have had a death or two in our lives, but for young children this is often their first brush with death. Your children's age, developmental stage and experience can have a huge impact on how they cope with the situation.

My husband and I debated whether to flush Johnny down the toilet or bury him our backyard. We ended up finding a shoebox and a nice shady spot under a tree that Johnny could visit.

Mommy, is this my fault?

Children under the age of six can have an especially difficult time dealing with death. The have a hard time comprehending what death actually means and why your pet can't wake up from his "nap". According to Tamina Toray, PH.D, you may have to tell your child multiple times that it's not their fault and that death is a part of life.

It's possible that your kids may also question the stability of other loved ones in their life. It's important to stress that people in your immediate family are healthy and aren't going anywhere.

I explained to Johnny that just because Nemo died, doesn't mean that I will die, or his father, or his sister. Death is an inevitable fact of life that is completely natural. I found it helpful to explain to Johnny that his father and I love him very much and we will do everything in our power to protect him and make sure he is safe.

Coping with grief

I realize that grief is a process, and not an event that's over in an instance. My son used to have bed-wetting issues, but hadn't had an accident in over a year...until Nemo died. I was concerned with this change in behavior, but found through my research that wetting the bed can be a part of the grief process and is usually only temporary.

I tried to show Johnny that I was also grieving too and it's fine to be mad or angry, because death is a painful experience. We tried to focus on how excited Johnny was when he got his first pet, chose his name after Johnny's favorite movie, and had the responsibility to help take care of him.

If you have older children, they usually have a better understanding of what death is and what it means. Questions about what happens to a body after death is common.

Susan Phillips Cohen, the director of Animal Medical Center, says the death of a pet is a great learning experience for kids. She suggests that if you are having a difficult time explaining the process of death to your child, try consulting your veterinarian or doctor. They can usually provide an age appropriate description that will quench your child's curiosity.

Moving Forward

Fortunately, Johnny's bed-wetting subsided after about a week. Losing our first pet as a family was difficult and especially tough for Johnny.

When we felt that Johnny could fully accept Nemo's death, we started talking about getting a new pet. My husband and I decided we weren't ready to commit to the responsibilities of a dog or a cat, but would be willing to try with another fish. We ended up getting two more goldfish for Johnny, Nemo Jr. and Dory, who are still happily swimming in our fish tank.

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Depression is a silent killer. It can creep up on you out of nowhere, devour all happiness and positivity, and wreak havoc on your life. I can say this more confidently than most people, as I almost lost my marriage to depression and anxiety related issues. Fortunately, I managed to fight back with the help of yoga and saved my marriage before it was too late.

Before discovering yoga, my life was toxic, even though I had everything a woman in my position could ask for - a loving husband, good friends and a decent-paying job. Still, I was not happy. I was sad and depressed and I did not know how to cope with it. Had I not discovered yoga at the right time, I am sure I would have lost everything I had.

My battle with anxiety and depression

In my case, depression and anxiety started slowly. I became less sure of my decisions. I spent less time with my family. I failed to see the bright side of anything. I felt as though everyone around me was irritating me for no reason.

Then I started having trust issues. I was anxious about what might happen instead of focusing on what was happening. I was not attuned to my partner's needs. I found it hard to pay attention to those around me. As a result, my husband and I barely talked to each other.

I completely withdrew myself and lived in a cocoon of negativity.

How I discovered yoga

It seemed everything was lost and my marriage was in tatters. It was at this point that one of my colleagues told me to try yoga. Initially, I was skeptical. My idea of yoga was people doing breathing exercises and contorting their body in impossible angles. Still, I reluctantly agreed to try it as I was desperate to save my marriage at any cost.

How yoga transformed my life

The first class was eye-opening. The people around me were able to hold their poses while I was flopping around like a fish on the yoga mat. Still, my interest was piqued. It was different from working out in the gym. I went back the next day and tried even harder to do everything correctly.

The classes usually had three sessions - asanas (body postures), pranayama (breathing exercise) and meditation. The asanas helped me release tension and negativity from my system. The breathing exercise allowed me to calm down and avoid being anxious all the time. The meditation techniques offered me a sense of calm and allowed me to focus better on things around me.

Within a few weeks, there was a noticeable change in me. I was able to eat better, sleep better, and stay active for longer periods of time. I was able to talk to my husband freely without shutting myself off. Today, my marriage is saved and I have never been happier before in my life.

The power of persistence

Of course, things did not turn around overnight. There was little improvement in the first week and there was a constant voice in my head saying that I was wasting my time. I did not, however, give in to the negative thoughts and persisted with the classes. After the first month, I could see that yoga was transforming me physically, mentally, and spiritually and turning me into a better wife, better friend, and a better person in general.

I enjoyed yoga so much that I wanted to keep challenging my body and mind. I enrolled in a yoga teacher training in India. Why not deepen my practice at the birth place of yoga?

Teacher training allowed me to learn even more about myself, but now I have the skills to teach others about yoga. It brings me joy to help others find happiness in their yoga practice. I love watching others undergo a transformation much like I did.

Yoga lowers your heart rate, regulates your blood pressure and allows you to deal with the stress of day-to-day life in a healthy manner. It improves your mood and instills a sense of positivity in you. It allows you to take charge of your life and improves your overall attitude towards life. I can say that taking yoga classes is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. My husband thinks so too, apart from marrying him of course!

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