We become our parents. We may hate to admit it, but if we wait long enough, we will become them. When I was a teenager, my mom would ask me to wash the dishes. I would do it, but when I was hanging up my sponge, she would inform me I wasn't finished yet because I hadn't wiped down the counters.

As I would grab the sponge again and scrub the yellow tile, I'd mutter under my breath, "She told me to do the dishes. Dishes are dishes. Counters are counters. If she wanted me to wipe the counters, she should have told me. When I'm grown, I'll never expect my children to wipe down the counters if I ask them to wash the dishes."

Cut to twenty-five years later. I come home, see the dishes done, and yell out, "Who washed the dishes but didn't wipe down the counters?!" Holy smokes, I've become my mother!

We all do this in one form or another. The trick is to learn how to use it to our benefit. As a parent, we want our children to grow up and create strong, balanced and loving relationships with their partners. Well, a lot of their future relationship success is dependent upon the relationship to which we expose them as their parents. Remember, they grow up to be us. Might as well model healthy relationship skills.

Go Public

Let your children see you display affection openly with one another. It's okay to smooch in front of the kids. Give your spouse a hug. Tell him you love him. Cuddle on the sofa. Sneak up and tickle her at the kitchen sink.

Younger children will want to jump in the hug-a-thon or the tickle fight. Your teens may roll their eyes and tell you "to get a room," but both will feel secure within the family structure while learning how to "flirt" with their own spouse one day.

Schedule Play dates

It's important for parents to have regular date nights. That means leaving the kids with the babysitter, friends, or family while the two of you have some adult alone time.

Some children will balk if it's something new for the family, but it's crucial for them to see that Mommy and Daddy need play dates together, too. Prepare them by telling them early in the week that you'll be having a date. They will remember this and make it a point to set aside dates of their own when they are old enough.

Fight Right

I've heard parents say they never fight in front of the kids. If fighting consists of throwing blows, insults, or profanity, then by all means keep it behind closed doors. If it can be civil, disagreeing in front of your children shows them that loving couples don't have to be on the same page to still get along.

Simon Presland wrote an article called "How to Fight Fair in Marriage," and one line that struck a chord with me was, "Confront to heal, not to win." The goal of your confrontation is to make the relationship better, not to be victorious and prove you are correct. Children will take this to their own relationships, understanding that disagreements are normal and don't need to be hurtful.

Knowing that our children will one day be "us" places a lot of responsibility on our parental shoulders. But, if we work on our relationships with our partners we're actually helping our children with their relationships.

The post 3 things you can do RIGHT NOW to help your kids have a healthy marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.

Do you remember when romancing your wife came easily? You may have to think back ... way back to before she was your wife. When we guys first find that special woman, the woman we want to spend "'til death do we part"� with, making her feel unique and cared for comes easily. There's a reason for that.

Mother Nature wants to give us the best chance of making a match, so she mixes up a hormone and brain-chemical concoction that keeps us passionate and romantic for a good six to eighteen months - the Honeymoon Stage. Then, after that, no more freebies. We, fellas, are on our own when it comes to romance and, suddenly, we find our wives missing the old us.

What's a guy to do? Have an affair - with your wife. An extramarital affair is never the answer. But a marital affair is.

Too many relationships end because of this dip in romance and passion. Too often one or both partners may look outside the marriage to find that passion fix. When you do, you risk lasting love for excitement that will quickly wane. It's a lot of effort that gets you nowhere. And don't kid yourself - it will definitely cause a lot of pain.

Therefore, guys, if you're going to expend the effort on an affair (getting gussied up, spending the money), have it with your wife. Use that time and effort to bring the excitement back to the loving relationship you already have. And if you doubt whether you're even in love anymore, the advice is the same. A marital affair is not just for passion - it can help you rediscover the love, too.

1. Date the Woman, Again

Women like to be treated as though they are remarkable - because they are. When you were first dating your wife, you took her out dancing, to the movies, to a concert, to dinner. Now that you are married, these outings may be few and far between, but if you are having a marital affair, you need to be taking her out on the town again. She'll feel young, alive, and wanted.

2. Dress the Part

When you court a woman, you always try to look your best. Before picking her up, you shave, shower, maybe even get a haircut. You check yourself in the mirror, wear cologne, and make sure your clothes compliment you. Once you have landed her, you may think, "What's the point? Who do I need to impress?" The answer: your wife. She still wants to feel that she's special enough for you to look good. If you're having a marital affair, you don't pick her up unshaven, unshowered, or wearing sweatpants. You're not getting any woman that way. 

3. Don't Just Sleep

One of the most shared activities for a couple having an affair is physical intimacy. Think back to those early months when you were first dating your wife. Do you remember how exciting was the thought of intimacy? Once you get married, though, that novelty wears off. In an affair, it kicks back in again. Why? Because it's a new partner, which means new experiences. How do you get that with your "old" partner? Change things up in the bedroom. Try different times of day. Different locations. Flirt in public, creating anticipation for your return home and think about how couples having affairs use beds ... not just for sleeping. So increase your quantity and quality of intimate encounters, making her feel wanted by you once again.

To keep an extramarital affair from devastating your marriage, have a marital affair. Taking a page from "The Affair Handbook" can actually keep us from having extramarital affairs of our own, while courting our wives and making them feel the way they did when we first started dating.

The post The one affair that can actually save your marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.

We become our parents. We may hate to admit it, but if we wait long enough, we will become them. When I was a teenager, my mom would ask me to wash the dishes. I would do it, but when I was hanging up my sponge, she would inform me I wasn't finished yet because I hadn't wiped down the counters.

As I would grab the sponge again and scrub the yellow tile, I'd mutter under my breath, "She told me to do the dishes. Dishes are dishes. Counters are counters. If she wanted me to wipe the counters, she should have told me. When I'm grown, I'll never expect my children to wipe down the counters if I ask them to wash the dishes."�

Cut to twenty-five years later. I come home, see the dishes done, and yell out, "Who washed the dishes but didn't wipe down the counters?!" Holy smokes, I've become my mother!

We all do this in one form or another. The trick is to learn how to use it to our benefit. As a parent, we want our children to grow up and create strong, balanced and loving relationships with their partners. Well, a lot of their future relationship success is dependent upon the relationship to which we expose them as their parents. Remember, they grow up to be us. Might as well model healthy relationship skills.

Go Public

Let your children see you display affection openly with one another. It's okay to smooch in front of the kids. Give your spouse a hug. Tell him you love him. Cuddle on the sofa. Sneak up and tickle her at the kitchen sink.

Younger children will want to jump in the hug-a-thon or the tickle fight. Your teens may roll their eyes and tell you "to get a room," but both will feel secure within the family structure while learning how to "flirt" with their own spouse one day.

Schedule Play dates

It's important for parents to have regular date nights. That means leaving the kids with the babysitter, friends, or family while the two of you have some adult alone time.

Some children will balk if it's something new for the family, but it's crucial for them to see that Mommy and Daddy need play dates together, too. Prepare them by telling them early in the week that you'll be having a date. They will remember this and make it a point to set aside dates of their own when they are old enough.

Fight Right

I've heard parents say they never fight in front of the kids. If fighting consists of throwing blows, insults, or profanity, then by all means keep it behind closed doors. If it can be civil, disagreeing in front of your children shows them that loving couples don't have to be on the same page to still get along.

Simon Presland wrote an article called "How to Fight Fair in Marriage," and one line that struck a chord with me was, "Confront to heal, not to win." The goal of your confrontation is to make the relationship better, not to be victorious and prove you are correct. Children will take this to their own relationships, understanding that disagreements are normal and don't need to be hurtful.

Knowing that our children will one day be "us" places a lot of responsibility on our parental shoulders. But, if we work on our relationships with our partners we're actually helping our children with their relationships.

The post 3 ways to help your kids have a healthy marriage appeared first on FamilyToday.