Many of us struggle to tame one to-do list, so why would we want to have several? There are a couple of good reasons. By making several different lists in different areas, we divide (and hopefully conquer) our tasks. These lists allow you to chunk, organize and prioritize tasks, making life simpler overall.

I keep all my lists together, in one well-organized annual planner, so I always know exactly where to find them.

The to-do list

We all have a to-do list. The problem is, we throw absolutely everything on there, as it occurs to us, so we don't know how to prioritize it all or divide it into manageable chunks.

If you have a to-do list like that, it's OK. Keep it. Just start moving stuff off there and on to your other lists. Once it's on another list, cross it off your main one, just as if you'd actually done it. The world won't implode if you do this. You've filed this task on to another, more logical, list. It will still get done.

The daily action list

This is where you list the few things you need to get done today. Ideally it should be just three to five things. It can be more, of course, if they're all small, ten minute tasks. But always try to make this list short and focussed. We tend to overestimate what we can achieve in any one day.

The birthday list

Keep a list of everyone you need to buy birthday gifts and cards for. You can divide this by month, but keep the list for the whole year in one place. Leave a space to note each person's interests, hobbies or life plans. You can even note their favorite color, flower or animal here.

Pay attention to the real-life conversations you have with them and what they post on social media. Social media likes and comments can throw up some great ideas for potential gifts. This list can help you buy a thoughtful gift when you see it, even if the birthday is still a few months away. It can take the stress out of gift giving and make you look like the best gift giver ever.

The wish-list

This is where you put all the things you'd like to buy for yourself, your home, or your family members, including the things other people recommend that you'd like to research further. This can be a physical list or you can create a wish-list on Amazon. You can even make your wish-list public and maybe someone will buy you a gift you love.

The grocery list

Many of us aren't hugely adventurous with our food shopping, especially if we have young children. And that can be a good thing. A weekly grocery list can be printed off and reused every week. It's easy to add any extras by hand and much less time consuming than starting your list fresh every week. You can even download pre-formatted customizable grocery lists online.

The checklist

I'm a huge fan of checklists, for every recurring task, whether that's an annual task like spring cleaning the house or cooking Thanksgiving dinner, or a daily task like packing your pre-schoolers backpack. Whenever you're doing a multi-step task that you know you're going to have to do over and over again, it's worth considering compiling a quick written checklist.

The to-read list

My reading list is long, and I add something new to it every week. For a long time, I noted down books I wanted to read on my general to-do list, and just skimmed past them every time I read it, because reading a new book isn't urgent.

Now I have a to-read list in my planner that I can get out whenever I'm in a book store or library or wondering what to download to my Kindle.

The to-watch list

Friends are always recommending films, documentaries and shows to watch, and maybe you make a note of some of them, but do you know where those notes are, when you're surfing through Netflix or deciding which DVD to rent or purchase?

The to-go list

I love to travel, so my to-go list has some exotic destinations on it. But it also has all the local attractions and outings others have suggested, many of which are little known, hidden gems that I would eventually forget about if I didn't write them down.

This list is useful when you have visitors from out of town and want to show them something unique in your area, or to alleviate summer boredom when the kids are off school and craving adventure.

The bucket list

Everyone should consider making a bucket list: a list of everything you want to do in this one precious lifetime. Nothing is too crazy for this list, and there is no theme. It can include travel, experiences, things to learn and people to meet. Your list, your ideas, your rules.

These lists will help you keep life simple and save you time, and can't we all use a little more time and simplicity?

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We all feel better when we're sleeping well, but did you know that good sleep habits can impact everything from your marriage to your weight loss goals? Here are just a few ways high quality sleep supports other aspects of your life.

Sleep improves your relationships

If you're someone who is unbearably cranky after a sleepless night, this won't come as a surprise to you, but well-rested people tend to argue less and have better relationships.

Numerous studies show that sleeping well increases relationship satisfaction and leads to longer, happier marriages.

If you and your spouse are in the midst of those pesky no-sleep baby years, don't worry. It can help to simply acknowledge that your lack of sleep is a big part of any relationship problems you're having. By the time our second (wakeful) baby came along, my husband and I were bickering, a lot. We simply agreed that anything mean we said to each other when we were exhausted, didn't count. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it helped.

Sleep flushes out brain toxins

Amazing changes happen in your brain when you sleep, and we're not just talking about brain activity. There is evidence that there's a certain amount of structural change in the brain during a good night's sleep.

Research indicates that the space between brain cells seems to increase while we're asleep, allowing the brain to flush out toxins that have built up during the day. This means sleep is 'cleaning' our brains. No wonder we feel more clear-headed after a good night's sleep.

Sleep makes you thinner

According to an article in Women's Health, there are several reasons you'll lose weight faster if you're sleeping well.

Mental benefits of sleep include that clearer brain we've already mentioned, which can support healthier decision-making, and, of course, restful sleep tends to leave us with more energy to exercise. But there's also evidence that sleep has physical effects, helping support a healthy metabolism and regulate hormonal activity, allowing you to burn more calories.

Sleep will stop you making mistakes

Any idea what the Exxon Valdez oil spill, the explosion of the Challenger space shuttle, and the nuclear disaster at Chenobyl all have in common? Sadly, they were all at least partially attributed to human error caused by lack of sleep.

In her book, Thrive, Arianna Huffington goes so far as to claim that:

"The most basic shift we can make in redefining success in our lives, has to do with our strained relationship with sleep."

She goes on to quote Bill Clinton, who apparently once admitted,

"Every important mistake I've made in my life, I've made because I was too tired."

Good decision making is vital to a happy, prosperous life, and almost every decision we make could probably be made a little better by getting a good night's sleep before making it.

Sleep makes you look better

The idea of 'beauty sleep' is far from a myth. Most of us instinctively feel that we look brighter and better after a good night's sleep, and we're not wrong.

Sleep has amazing benefits for our skin, in particular, and because it supports our general health and wellbeing, consistent high-quality sleep will usually make us look healthier and happier.

Sleeping well is about so much more than feeling well-rested in the morning. It's worth working on your sleep hygiene and making any changes you need to get a better night's sleep. It could help with everything from weight management to marital harmony.

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Most fathers probably know better than to come home from work and ask their exhausted, frazzled, overwhelmed wife what she does at home all day. But some of them wonder. Until you've experienced being a full-time stay-at-home parent, you simply don't know what it's like.

If you're a father who really wants a peek into the world of stay-at-home parenting, you could always take a week or two off work and give it a try. Your wife has to go out all day every day, though. You can never compare being one half of a parenting team to doing it all by yourself.

Being the only parent at home all day brings a varied set of challenges. It's not just twice the amount of work, but sometimes more, partly because things get out of hand very quickly when you don't have another adult around to constantly 'hand off to' when things start to get messy.

If giving it a try simply isn't practical, here's an overview of just some of the things your wife does all day.

She entertains children

I remember reading an interview with a celebrity (who didn't have children) complaining that many moms let their kids watch too much TV. She suggested they should give them paper and crayons instead and encourage their artistic side.

I had a two-year-old and a four-year-old at the time, and I laughed and laughed. At that age, my kids would watch TV for about ten minutes, then do some coloring for ten minutes, leaving me approximately another 12 hours and 40 minutes of their waking day to fill.

Kids need a lot of entertainment and occupation. Playing, singing, dancing, drawing, painting, story-telling and puppet shows are probably just part of your wife's repertoire.

She feeds children

Kids are often hungry, and not just at meal times. Sometimes moms feel like they spend all day fixing snacks, drinks and more snacks. You try to devise a schedule, but toddlers aren't always very respectful of that.

I resorted to making a sign that said, 'The Kitchen is Closed' to discourage the constant requests for snacks outside of my designated snack times. I think they were the first four words my kids learned to read.

She cleans up messes

Spills, messes and post-snack devastation take up a large chunk of the stay-at-home mom's day. As does cleaning up art materials, mud, pet hair and various bodily fluids (child and animal).

She changes diapers

One mommy blogger estimated that each child goes through around 7,200 diapers before finally potty training (you can see the math here). If your child is in day care from babyhood, someone else will change most of them. A stay-at-home mom will tend to change most, if not all, of them herself.

She picks up toys

Just because you come home from work to find toys all over the floor, never assume they're the same ones that have been there all day. Mom has probably picked up several times already. Those toys just keep coming out again.

She does household chores (sometimes twice)

When you have young kids at home all day, beds don't stay made, dishes don't stay washed, kitchen floors don't stay clean and sofas don't stay crumb-free. Many things that were once a day (or even once-a-week) chores when she was single now need to be done multiple times a day.

She goes shopping

Shopping was easy in pre-motherhood days, but now it's a major expedition just to do the weekly grocery shopping. Shopping is particularly interesting during the potty-training phase, or if one of the kids is sick or teething. There's no evidence that tantrums and meltdowns tend to happen more often in a crowded store, but it certainly feels that way.

The generic term 'shopping' often includes running a ton of other errands, which would probably take a child-free adult a few minutes each, but which take an awful lot longer when you have to get a baby and toddler in and out of the car at every stop.

She coordinates schedules

You may think young children don't have a lot of commitments, but they do. There's the vaccination schedule, pediatrician and dentist visits, haircuts and enrichment activities.

That's before you factor in playdates and birthday parties. I used to color code my schedule so that my kids' activities were in red and blue and mine were in green. I knew I needed to get out more when the only thing in green (for the whole month) was a OBGYN visit.

She manages information

Moms are responsible for storing and managing a lot of information, from food preferences and allergies, to weaning rules and current shoe sizes. The more organized ones have a system and write it all down. Others try to carry it all in their head, which is why we sometimes forget our own name (isn't it just 'mom'?).

This is not a comprehensive list. What your wife does all day will depend on a lot of different factors including the number and ages of the kids she has at home. But I can almost guarantee you, it's more than you realize.

The post Dear fathers, this is what your wife does at home all day appeared first on FamilyToday.

No matter how prepared you are for parenthood, there are some things you'll only learn as you go through that first year. Here are some of them:

1. Sleep is underrated

Sleep is much more vital to your wellbeing than you realize. Most new parents are sleep deprived, and honestly, we feel foggy-brained and bordering-on-getting-sick a lot of the time.

2. Babies cause a special kind of sleep deprivation

If you're already a bad sleeper or you work night shifts, you may think you know tired. But there's a difference between having to quiet your mind or wait until the end of your shift to sleep, and not knowing when you're going to get a good night's sleep again.

3. You are way more resilient than you know

You will live through the sleep deprivation and everything else the first year of parenthood throws at you. It will be challenging, but you'll do it.

4. There are a LOT of sacrifices involved

From the outside, it looks like new moms are just out there living life like anyone else, with a baby in tow. They're not. They've usually given up a lot, from their social life and income to their bladder control.

5. You underestimated your parents

For years, you thought parenting was just something people did. Now you have a new-found respect for your parents, and maybe some understanding about the things they got wrong.

6. Everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your child

And they don't mind sharing it. In most arenas, you're highly unlikely to attract unsolicited advice from total strangers, but it happens often when you have a baby.

7. They're mostly wrong

Nobody knows your baby like you do. Advice other people give you is based on their own babies. Every child is different.

8. Nursing a baby is hard

Just because breastfeeding is natural doesn't mean it always comes naturally. Be patient and ask for help if you're struggling. La Leche League is an international organization offering support and advice to nursing moms.

9. Your body needs time to recover

A good guideline is nine months to go from conception to birth, and another nine months to get back to your pre-pregnancy shape and fitness levels, or close to it. Your body may never be the same again, and that's OK. Your body has accomplished an awesome thing.

10. Other parents are a lifeline

Having genuine, caring friends who are going through their first year of parenthood too is invaluable. This is important for new moms and dads. New dads have a lot to learn, and hanging out with other dads can help.

11. Some other parents aren't helpful

We all know a few parents who are super competitive and a little smug. You don't need to hear about how little Tommy's sleeping through the night and saying 'mama' already.

12. Some 'common wisdom' is useless

'Sleep when your baby sleeps' is a good idea, but often impractical. She may sleep in her car seat or stroller while you're driving or shopping. You may need to catch up on chores while she sleeps.

13. Your relationship has cracks

They all do, so don't worry about it. Accept that parenting a newborn will put your relationship under strain like few other things will. You'll argue. It's not a disaster. It completely normal. Manage the conflict as best you can, and know that it will pass.

14. The media misrepresents parenthood

As does society in general. It's messy and noisy and rarely pretty. It certainly doesn't look anything like those magazine spreads when some celebrity couple introduces their new little miracle to the world.

15. Everything is a phase

This is the main thing I wish I'd realised sooner. I'd stress over one thing obsessively for a week. Then the next week my baby would move on to a whole new stage.

16. Every baby has a thing

They don't like cars, baths or bright lights. They won't nurse if you're talking to someone, or sitting in the wrong position. They nap at the wrong time, or not at all. You just have to deal with it, and remember the point above.

17. Most things are nothing

New parents who show up at the emergency room because their baby hiccupped are the stuff of sitcoms, but we all worry way too much about little things that don't seem quite right. It's OK to get these things checked out. Just remember that all new parents fret about things that are probably nothing.

18. Babies have a great sense of timing

If they're going to throw up, or fill their diaper to overflowing, it will usually be just after you've bathed them and put them in fancy clothes because you're going to a family gathering and you need to leave right now.

19. You will accomplish less than you planned this year

The myth is that you can do it all, have it all and keep it all together. You can't. Caring for a baby is ridiculously time-consuming. If you have plans to finish school, set up a business or run a marathon this year, go easy on yourself. You're achieving a lot just by parenting this new human. You may not reach all your other goals right on schedule, and it's OK.

20. Nothing can prepare you for parenthood

Reading the books and going to the classes is great, but you can't learn everything from a book. 'It's not what I expected' is a common response to new parenthood.

21. You have a bigger capacity for love than you imagined

Your baby will prove this to you. Not all at once, but over that first year, and then over your whole lifetime.

The post 21 truths you’ll learn in your first year of parenthood (and no other way) appeared first on FamilyToday.

Having a brother means experiencing exasperation, a fair share of sibling rivalry, complete bafflement, and from time to time, disgust. You'll also experience some other more endearing or just plain useful things that come with life with a brother:

1. You'll learn about compromise.

Having a brother in your life forces you to compromise on everything. Whether you're pre-schoolers negotiating over what toys to play with, teenagers trying to share a car, or thirty-somethings debating whether he really has to wear a tux for your wedding, compromise is a life skill those with brothers learn early.

2. And friendship

It may not seem like it when you're little, but your brother often becomes your best friend and closest confidante over time. Sure, you've had your squabbles, but he's someone who's always been there for you.

3. And patience

Brothers are annoying. You'll get to practice patience every single day growing up alongside him. And patience is a virtue, right?

4. You have a partner in crime.

You've had friends to get you in and out of trouble, but your brother was your first partner in crime. You learned to cover for each other, watch each other's backs, and share the blame when you inevitably got caught.

5. He'll make you laugh.

Sometimes on purpose, but often by accident. Brothers do the funniest things, and it's your job to laugh at his jokes (and always remind him about that time whipping cream came out of his nose).

6. He'll protect you.

Brothers almost always have a protective side. You're often happy he's so protective ... but not always.

7. Sometimes he'll come to your rescue when you least expect it.

Brothers are great at stepping in and helping out when you're in an awkward situation. Just when you admit to your parents that you messed up, he comes home to admit an even worse mistake - deflecting the attention beautifully.

8. You'll never be lonely.

Long road trips, ill-planned family vacations, boring visits to relatives you have nothing in common with: these can be incredibly tedious for an only child. And while you and your brother may be singing together or arguing together, at least you have company when visiting auntie and uncle.

9. When you ask for help, he has to give it to you.

Friends can be busy when you need them to help you move or unclog your toilet, but your brother has a familial duty to help out his siblings.

10. He's (brutally) honest.

You can always count on your brother's honest opinion. You have enough history that he can tell you exactly what he thinks about your new hair-cut, or your latest crush, when all your friends (and even your parents) sugarcoat the truth and try not to hurt your feelings.

11. He'll share your problems.

We all have plenty of problems that are directly tied to our family backgrounds, our relatives or the way we grew up - you brother has the same ones. He can relate, and he'll be there for you as you work through the unique challenges your childhood gave you both.

12. And your responsibilities.

If you're still young it may be hard to relate, but one day your parents will be elderly and you'll have to take care of them. Your brother can share the responsibilities and the emotions that go with that stage of life.

13. You'll always have someone to be nostalgic with.

As we get older, it's nice to spend time with people who knew us when we were young. It's great to have someone to relive your youth with and get nostalgic with. You may reach a life stage where your brother has known you longer than anyone else in the world and is the best person to reminisce with.

14. He'll always love you.

Even if he rarely (or never) tells you, he loves you. Some brothers are affectionate, but a lot aren't. Know that brotherly love runs deep, and no matter how much you mess up or irritate him, your brother probably still loves you, a lot.

The post 14 reasons your brother is the greatest gift your parents ever gave you appeared first on FamilyToday.

Not many young adults are looking forward to old age (or even middle age) but they really shouldn't be dreading it either. There are plenty of things that improve with age - here are just a few of them.

Your happiness

There's evidence that suggests older people are generally happier than the young.

In his book Deep Work, author Cal Newport cites an interesting study, where a Stanford psychologist used a functional MRI scanner to observe brain activity in subjects exposed to both negative and positive images.

In the younger subjects, the amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) fired up for all images. In elderly test subjects, the amygdala only got excited for the positive images. It was as though, over a long and varied lifetime, they had trained their brains to filter out the negative and focus on the positive.

As Newport put it, "By skillfully managing their attention, they improved their world without changing anything concrete about it."

Your love life

Young love is exciting, but is also often full of unsettling and even traumatic ups and downs - no one likes a bad breakup. As you mature, your relationship often matures along with you into something that's deeper, more satisfying and more stable.

While many young people find dating and relationships as a source of stress, those who are in stable marriages in middle age report higher levels of life satisfaction and lower levels of stress, according to a recent study.

Your health and wellbeing

In some ways, health belongs to the elderly - many young people don't live the healthiest lifestyle.

College life may include a lot of late nights, stress and alcohol. Preventative health (like eating right) and self-care seem to go out the window in your younger years. Some mental health issues like anxiety are more common in young adults and even things like allergies often improve as we age.

Youth can also be a time when we try and "do it all" and invariably overdo at least some of it. It's not unusual to hear people in middle age remark that they feel better than they did 10 years ago, perhaps as their children grow up, work situations become more secure and they become better at using healthy coping strategies to alleviate stress.

Your friendships

High school friendships can be full of angst. As Rosalind Wiseman puts it in her bestselling book "Queen Bees and Wannabees"

"Girls' friendships in adolescence are often intense, confusing, frustrating and humiliating, the joy and security of 'best friends' shattered by devastating breakups and betrayals."

As we age, most of our friendships become less intense, less fraught and almost completely devoid of the drama of high school. We also tend to develop the discernment and self-assurance we need to step away from the toxic friendships that don't support and inspire us, and spend more time with those who truly understand us.

Your finances

This isn't a given, of course. Anyone can have a financial crisis at any age, but being young is often a time of worrying financial instability, working a couple of jobs and worrying about paying tuition. I don't know too many people who miss the time of minimum wage jobs, crippling college tuition fees and a total lack of experience when it comes to budgeting and personal finance.

Over time, we (hopefully) learn to take care of our money better. As we get older, get promotions, and learn more about managing money, our finances often steadily improve.

Not every aspect of aging is positive, but there are certainly advantages. It's worth taking time to appreciate them from time to time.

The post 5 things that tend to get (much) better as you get older appeared first on FamilyToday.

The internet is buzzing with the news that traveling can make you happier than marriage. It's a big claim, made by (unsurprisingly) a major travel company, after surveying around 17,000 people from 17 countries.

Traveling may make you happier

Many people are certainly more fired up about their travel plans than their wedding plans, and traveling is more fun than dating for most, too. 49 percent of respondents said that traveling brings them more happiness than their wedding day did, and 51 percent claim they'd rather go traveling than on a date with their significant other.

Travel can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience, but should you really prioritize vacations over relationships? Those who say travel makes them happier than marriage should probably check out what statistics say about marriage, too.

But marriage makes you healthier

Many studies show that married people generally seem to live longer, healthier and less stressful lives. There is evidence that being married lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease and increases your odds of surviving cancer.

Statistics suggest that marriage may protect against premature death, too. Researchers combined the results of several studies across seven different countries, and found that married people seemed to have a 10 percent to 15 percent lower mortality rate than the rest of the population of a similar age.

It's not just your physical health that benefits from a stable marriage, either. As this article on AnxietyBoss reports, there's evidence that single adults are more prone to developing anxiety and other mental health problems than those who are married. A Swedish study even found that single people are at a higher risk for dementia than married couples.

So does marriage really protect your health, happiness and longevity, or are there other factors at work here?

An article in The Guardian makes some interesting points about behavioral patterns of married people. It claims married couples tend to smoke less, consume less alcohol and eat more healthily. And that's before you factor in the mental health benefits of a supportive partner, and the physical health benefits of having someone to care for you when sick and remind you to go for your annual physical. A joint income doesn't hurt either, making you more affluent overall, which protects against all kinds of health risks.

Marriage also provides a built-in social network, which is considered to be highly protective when it comes to both mental and physical health issues.

Marriage is only beneficial if it's happy and healthy

When it comes to marriage supporting health, of course, it's also important to stress that the quality of your marriage counts. No marriage is perfect, but a good, emotionally healthy and supportive marriage is sufficient to support health. Bad marriages lead to bad health, with chronic conflict having a particularly negative effect. For many reasons, it's so important to learn to manage conflict within marriage.

Rushing into marriage is also not a great way to guarantee good health. Marry in haste and you may end up divorcing at your leisure.

Why not do both?

So get married, by all means, but make sure you're marrying the right person, and then work on making the marriage as conflict-free and mutually supportive as possible. Oh, and take some trips together as well. If travel and marriage are both good for you, why not combine the two?

The post Traveling makes you happier than marriage, but here’s what marriage does for your health appeared first on FamilyToday.

Young children are 24-hour need machines. They need attention, affection, constant supervision and lots of love. But many of them have a whole lot of things they don't need. Here are a few of them.

1. Electronic gadgets

It's not unusual to see preschoolers with iPads and games consoles, and lots of moms have more child-friendly games on their phones than useful adult apps. But young children don't need these devices, and their development could be suffering because of them.

A recent Huffington Post article argued that handheld electronic devices should be banned for all children under 12. I doubt that many 11 year olds would agree, which is why it makes sense to restrict exposure to electronic gadgets when your kids are very small and you still have a say in it!

2. A ton of fancy toys

We all go overboard on buying toys for our kids and then complain when they'd rather play with a cardboard box or our pots and pans. There's nothing wrong with kids playing with ordinary household objects and you'll save a ton of money if you don't do overboard on the toy shopping.

In fact, imaginative play is good for kids (and has some seriously positive cognitive benefits). Studies suggest building a blanket fort in the living room (or a den in the woods) is probably better for their development than you buying an expensive doll house or custom-made tree fort.

3. DVDs

While most preschoolers will have a few favorite shows or movies they just love, too much screen time can have detrimental effects.

It's tempting to let your little one watch the same movies over and over, especially when it seems to comfort them. Just be aware that screen time needs to be balanced with other activities that support healthy brain development.

4. Designer clothes

A four-year-old doesn't care what the label on his clothes says ... He can't even read! It doesn't hurt to put your kids in cute designer clothes of course, but it's not necessary, and you'd probably be wise to save your money and spend money and fancy clothes when they're older.

5. A stroller

Many of us hang onto our strollers long after our child no longer wants to sit in it. We hang our bags off it or balance the heavy cooler on it when we're going for a picnic. But most healthy kids of three and up don't want to sit in a stroller 'like a baby'. If you're on your last child and they've hit the preschool years, it's time to donate your stroller.

6. 10 pairs of shoes

Again, it doesn't hurt, but it's not necessary. Shoes are actually one of the few items of clothing that do need to be high quality for an active child, so you're better off buying just two pairs of good ones than several pairs of cheaper ones.

Family physician Peter Larson, suggeststhat "children should play in their bare feet or in activity shoes that complement natural foot development and proper biomechanics of movement." Having a pair of shoes for every activity discourages the healthy practice of playing in bare feet.

You do need at least one spare pair (little kids get their shoes wet a lot) but that's probably sufficient. Remember the vast majority of events in a preschooler's social calendar are sneaker-friendly.

7. A packed schedule

There's evidence that kids of all ages are committed to a schedule packed full of organized activities. In this Psychology Today article, Polly Young-Eisendrath, clinical psychologist and author of "The Self-Esteem Trap", claims that over-scheduling can be a real problem. She says that "before age 11 or 12, when children begin to develop self-consciousness, activities risk distracting children from their natural development."

Preschoolers benefit from lots of free play and downtime - free time lets them exercise their imagination. By all means, book a couple of regular activities they enjoy, but don't fill every day with rushing from your Gymboree class to ballet to swimming lessons. Space things out and keep the pace more relaxed.

By cutting out things your child doesn't need, you'll have more money, time and attention you have to give to what's really necessary.

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We've all been hurt, and how we deal with it can shape our lives for years to come. We can respond in healthy, constructive ways or deeply destructive ways that can potentially change our personalities and our future outcomes in life.

When someone hurts you, you're only making things worse if you respond in these five ways:

Seek revenge

It's natural to want payback, and it's tempting to seek revenge on the person who hurt us, but we only hurt ourselves when we do this.

According to an article in Psychology Today, revenge backfires. A study that tested how people felt after taking revenge revealed that the positive feelings we expect rarely emerge. In an experiment, students who took revenge on someone they believed had wronged them reported feeling worse than those who let it go.

Interestingly, students who took revenge didn't just believe they would feel better for doing it. They also reported that even though they felt bad, they believed they would have felt worse if they had done nothing. This is why revenge is dangerous. If we always try to get payback, we never experience the satisfaction that comes with learning to simply walk away.

Spread the blame

When someone hurts you, the healthy option is to accept that it was that person's choice and theirs alone.

Often, though, we spread the blame wider, including all other members of the group. We decide that all men cheat, that we can't trust strangers or worse, that we can't trust anyone. This affects future relationships, friendships and stops us living our best life.

Put the blame where blame is due. Nobody is responsible for a person's actions except that individual.

Blame yourself

It's great (and healthy) to take responsibility for your own actions, but shifting all the blame onto yourself isn't helpful.

If your self-esteem has taken a hit, it may be easy to convince yourself that everybody leaves you because you're a horrible person, or nobody wants to be your friend because you're stupid and boring.

It's more helpful to accept that some relationships just don't work, and some friendships come to a natural end. By all means, acknowledge the part you played in the situation, but don't let your pain cloud your judgement. It's unlikely what you're going through is all your fault.

Feel the hate

Hate is the most destructive emotion. When someone we love hurts us, we often feel (or imagine we feel) hatred towards them. It can be easier to turn a strong emotion into another strong emotion, so we find it more natural to go from love to hate, rather than love to indifference.

It's fine to go through a range of emotions. Just don't let hate dwell within you. It takes a lot of energy to hate. Use your energy to process the hurt, grieve for what you've lost, and then move on.

Forgive and forget

Forgiving is wonderful and an essential part of moving on, but forgetting doesn't serve the same purpose. When we forget how a situation evolved, it can lead to us make the same mistake over and over.

Forgive the controlling boyfriend, but don't forget the early warning signs that the relationship was unhealthy. Forgive the friend who betrayed you, but don't forget the red flags that warned you she didn't have your best interests at heart. Don't forgive and forget. Forgive and learn.

Pain is a normal and inevitable part of life. How you deal with it is all about building healthy coping strategies and emotional strength.

The post When someone hurts you deeply, what do you do? If you answer yes to one of these 5 options you are destroying your life appeared first on FamilyToday.

Sometimes it's the little things that count. Try these simple but clever hacks to help you lose weight and feel healthier, with relatively little effort.

1. Plan ahead

We eat whatever's available when we're hungry, and often what's available isn't a healthy option. Keep healthy, non-perishable food in your bag, your car, your desk drawer at work and anywhere else you're likely to get hungry.

Going out for the day to a place with abundant junk food? Prepare your favorite healthy lunch and take it with you.

2. Swap it out

When it comes to nutrition, often there's a healthier alternative that tastes just as good. You just need to get used to it. Try reaching for the trail mix instead of the potato chips, using Greek yogurt in place of sour cream, swapping olive oil and vinegar for a creamy salad dressing and treating yourself to frozen yogurt rather than ice cream.

3. Go nutrient dense

You can improve your health by eating nutrient dense foods that are high in nutrients (such as vitamins and minerals) but low in calories. According to Authority Nutrition, nutrient dense food include salmon, blueberries, kale and even dark chocolate.

4. Drop the diet drinks

Chemical packed diet drinks are considered a very unhealthy option by many nutritionists. Despite their lack of calories, diet drinks make you fat. Experts suggest the artificial sweeteners in diet drinks may interfere with your metabolism and trick the body into thinking it's getting sugar, causing it to pump out insulin. This may be why some research has linked diet drinks to an increased risk of Type 2 Diabetes.

5. Make water your go-to drink

Drinking plenty of water is one of the simplest things you can do to improve your health and lower your overall calorie intake. If you find it boring, add a slice of lemon or lime and give yourself time to get used to it. If you usually drink sodas and juices it will take a while to stop craving the sugar.

6. Make 'on the side' your default

Most of us overdo sauces, dressings and 'extras' like butter and sour cream. Always ask for it on the side and use as little as you need to enhance the taste of your food.

7. Go plant based

My favorite piece of nutritional advice is from Michael Pollan:

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."

You don't have to go vegan, or even vegetarian, but by including lots of plants in your diet, you're keeping your body full of nutrients and limiting unhealthy fats and sugars. The other parts of this snippet of advice are simple too. Eat food (not chemicals and additives) and not too much of it (just stick to sensible portion sizes).

8. Replace food (with something better)

If you and your friends always meet for a meal, or a coffee (usually accompanied by a donut or three) consider mixing it up. Meet at the beach to go surfing, at a club to go dancing, or at an art gallery to look at beautiful paintings.

9. Change your habits

Getting healthy can be as simple as replacing an unhealthy habit with a healthy one. Replace vegging out in front of the TV after dinner with an evening walk, or lunch at your desk with a stroll around a nearby mall. Small changes add up over time.

10. Invest in a tracking tool

Consider getting a tracking device, such as a Fitbit, that monitors your daily activity. They can be surprisingly motivating. You'll find you push yourself to walk extra steps each day or do more exercise, just to see your numbers going up.

11. Find a hobby you truly love

If it's an active hobby, or one that gets you out in the fresh air, that's great, but according to an article in Forbes, any hobby can be good for your physical and mental health.

These hacks will help you feel healthier in no time, as long as you're consistent. No strict diet or punishing gym regime needed.

The post 11 genius hacks for losing weight (and feeling healthier than ever) appeared first on FamilyToday.