Like any difficult situation, it can be hard to watch a friend go through infertility - especially when you don't have any first-hand experience with infertility. It can be tough to know what to say to a friend who is struggling to get pregnant, and all too often, well-meaning, but ignorant comments just serve to add to their frustration.

So what can you say or do to help a friend who is experiencing infertility? Here are a few tips:

Be sensitive to the challenge your friend is facing

Few things are quite as painful as the unfulfilled desire for a child, and your friend probably needs an extra dose of love and kindness as she deals with this difficult moment in her life.

Steer clear of unhelpful platitudes

Although it can be tempting to try to reassure your friend, things like "Your turn will come,"¯ and "It will all work out for the best,"¯ are probably not what she needs to hear. She already feels guilty about the grief, pain, and anger she is experiencing and doesn't need another person making her feel like she should be handling things better.Ā  What can you do instead? Give her a hug, ask if she feels like talking about it, and respect her need to grieve.

Try not to complain about your own pregnancy or children

To a person in the throes of infertility, hearing a comment like "Well, at least you're sleeping through the night,"¯ or "I'd give anything to get rid of this pregnancy heartburn,"¯ can often feel like the final straw. Usually, someone experiencing infertility would happily trade their child-free hours for all the sleepless nights and uncomfortable symptoms in the world if it meant they could achieve their dream of parenthood.

What can you do instead?

Remember that subjects like pregnancy and parenthood are probably sensitive topics for your friend, and try to keep your conversation about those issues neutral. If you need to vent about your pregnancy or your children, it might be best to find a friend who has had similar experiences and will be able to commiserate with you, rather than relying on your infertile friend.

Avoid the temptation to give advice

While we all know the story of someone who was struggling to get pregnant and then miraculously conceived after they stopped thinking about it, went on a relaxing vacation, or adopted, sharing these stories with your infertile friend is rarely helpful. Often, infertility is the result of serious medical conditions or hormonal imbalances and requires medical intervention to correct. While, it can be tempting to remind your friend to "just relax,"¯ such advice is usually more hurtful than helpful.

What can you do instead?

Be sensitive to the fact that your friend has probably heard all the advice before, and most likely tried a lot of it. Follow her lead - if she seems interested in hearing your advice, then share it. If she doesn't seem to want to hear stories of what worked (or didn't work) for the people you know, go ahead and change the subject.

Don't ask when they're planning to have kids

Family planning can be a sensitive subject, especially for those experiencing infertility. Often, couples who are having trouble conceiving stay quiet about their struggle, which can make it easy to assume that they're choosing to delay starting their family for other reasons. If you already know that a friend is trying to get pregnant or undergoing fertility treatments, don't ask if she is pregnant or if her treatments worked. When she's ready to let you know, she'll do so. If her efforts to get pregnant aren't succeeding, your well-meaning question might be a painful reminder of her failures. If she is pregnant, she might be afraid to share the news with the world, at first, and needs some time to process the new development before she goes public.

What can you do instead?

Trust that your friend will share her good news with you when she's ready, and let her know that you're always there if she needs to share her struggles or frustrations.

And remember, it'sĀ OK that you don't understand what your friend is feeling. She doesn't need you to understand the specifics of what she's going through; instead, she needs your love, your support, and your understanding.

Sources:

"Infertility."¯ World Health Organization.World Health Organization, 2004. Web. 26 Nov. 2012.

"Infertility Treatment: When Nature Needs a Helping Hand."¯ Cleveland Clinic. The Cleveland Clinic, 2009. Web. 26 Nov. 2012.

Kirkey, Sharon. "Infertility on the rise in Canada: study."¯ National Post. National Post, 15 Feb. 2012. Web. 26 Nov. 2012.

The post 5 ways to help a friend suffering from infertility appeared first on FamilyToday.

Several years ago, I experienced a bad case of mononucleosis that lasted for more than a year and left me with permanent Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Since then, fatigue has become an unwanted part of my daily life, turning ordinary day-to-day activities into challenges that can sometimes seem insurmountable.

Although living with daily fatigue can be frustrating, I've learned a few things over the years that have helped me keep my own fatigue in check and manage my life even when I'm not feeling 100 percent.

If you're struggling with fatigue, try a few of these suggestions to help streamline your days and lighten a little of your burden:

Make rest a priority

Let's face it - when you're experiencing long-term fatigue for any reason, rest becomes a priority. Whether you're juggling an infant, dealing with a disability or chronic illness, or coping with something else in life that is wearing you down, it's crucial to take a hard look at your daily schedule.

Cut out things that aren't necessary, and make sure you're able to get the rest you need. If you're having trouble sleeping at night due to insomnia or a new baby schedule time each day to nap or rest quietly. Even a 20-minute power nap can make a huge difference in the amount of energy you have each day.

Don't overbook yourself

In today's world, it seems "being busy" is a point of pride for most people. It's all too easy to take too much on your plate. Overscheduling is the fastest way to make your fatigue worse. Be wise in choosing projects, assignments, and appointments to which you commit. Don't be afraid to say "no"¯ if something will be too much for you.

Write things down

Forgetfulness often goes hand-in-hand with fatigue. When you're tired, it can feel like your brain is filled with fog, making it difficult to think and remember. If you're struggling to keep ideas in your head or recall all the items on your to-do list, write them down.

Make a habit of writing down daily to-do lists and anything else you might need to remember, such as appointments or noteworthy things you want to remember to tell your spouse or friend. Don't forget to refer to your to-do lists often to ensure that you haven't missed something.

Cherish yourself

Whether your fatigue comes about through illness, parenthood, or a demanding life situation, it's likely that stress will accompany it. Don't push yourself beyond your limits, and always allow yourself the rest you need to function at your best.

It's likely that as time goes by, and your life situation changes, your fatigue will lessen and you will be better able to fulfill your responsibilities. For now, take the time to honor your limits and give your body what it needs to keep functioning. Pushing yourself too hard will only end up making your fatigue more severe and leave you vulnerable to other health problems, as well.

Although living with fatigue can be difficult, caring for your body and being careful not to overload your schedule will help you make the most of your limited energy, and find satisfaction and fulfillment despite your limitations.

The post When getting out of bed is asking too much: How to handle fatigue appeared first on FamilyToday.

Here are a few of the things that I found helpful during my period of waiting for a child:

Allow yourself to grieve

For many women (and men), parenthood is a lifelong dream, and it can be painful and difficult when that dream isn't coming to pass. Recognize that what you are going through is arduous, and allow yourself some time to grieve. Don't beat yourself up when you have hard days. Remember that optimism and a hopeful attitude are important but that it's also important to be honest with yourself and others about what you're going through.

Remember that your spouse might cope differently

For many couples experiencing infertility, the woman might be hit harder emotionally than the man. If it seems like your husband doesn't care as much, don't forget that he might be handling his grief in his own way. It was often a little frustrating for me to feel like my husband was calmly accepting a circumstance that was so difficult for me, but I came to appreciate that he had a different - and usually much less emotional - way of looking at things.

Find support

Whether it's an in-person support group, an online forum, or just a few close friends finding others who are experiencing similar difficulties is invaluable. It's easy to feel like you're the only one in the world dealing with the challenge of infertility, especially when most people you know seem to get pregnant so easily. Connecting with others who are also struggling to conceive will help you to feel less alone - and may help you find new things to try.

Do your research

When it became clear that I would most likely not be able to get pregnant on my own, I threw myself into research. I read books, scoured websites, and learned how to chart my menstrual cycles and pinpoint my problems. Because of this, I was able to get fertility help from my doctor much faster, without having to wait for months of testing. (If you're interested in learning more about fertility and charting your cycles, a great place to start is the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler.)

It's okay to bow out on baby showers

After a certain point, attending yet another celebration for a friend's upcoming addition can be too much. In those situations, it's okay to gracefully bow out of attending - send a gift and a card instead.

Try to remember that even insensitive comments are usually meant well

It's impossible to wade through the mires of any infertility experience - whether you're vocal about what you're going through or not - without receiving plenty of insensitive comments telling you to "Just relax and it will happen!"¯ or "Be grateful that you can sleep through the night!"¯ Remember that most of the time even the most insensitive comments are meant well, and that people often just don't know what to say to bring real comfort. Try to laugh about the comments and advice you get - some can be pretty funny!

Find other things on which to focus

Although, at times, it can feel like infertility is taking over your life - particularly if you're running to the doctor every few days for testing or treatment - it's important to make sure you are focusing on more than just getting pregnant. Try to see this moment in your life as a perfect time to pursue a new hobby; tackle a project you've been wanting to try, or focus on a career on which you might not be able to expend as much energy once a baby does come along. You'll still have plenty of days where the challenge of infertility feels completely overwhelming, but you'll also be able to direct your attention and energy to more positive sources.

Remember to be grateful for what you do have

Sometimes, this can feel like the hardest advice of all. In the time that I was waiting for a baby, there were many moments where it felt like nothing else in my life could possibly make up for not being a parent. Still, don't underestimate the power of gratitude - choosing to dwell on the things for which you're grateful, rather than the things you're missing, can be exactly what you need to give you the energy to continue coping with your infertility. And, as impossible as it seems right now, someday you probably will be grateful for the time alone with your husband, the chance to focus on your job or hobbies, and those uninterrupted nights of sleep that you'd give up so happily right now!

Seek out a purpose for your life

When you're unable to achieve one of your greatest dreams, it can seem like you aren't doing much more than marking time between doctor's appointments or adoption visits. Don't forget to seek out a purpose for your life, right now, independent of your hopes as a future parent. While it can feel as though nothing else you do is worthwhile, remember that whether you are ultimately able to fulfill your dream of parenthood or not, you can still do so much for the world.

The post Coping with infertility appeared first on FamilyToday.

Often, when we're in the throes of a loss or difficult experience, it can feel like our grief is all-consuming and overwhelming. It can be tough to know how to move forward and easy to feel despair and depression.

It can also be hard to deal with the way those around us handle our grief. It's common for friends and family to encourage us to move on let go of our grief, or simply focus on other things. Many times, such advice only makes a grieving person feel more alone and frustrated with their own inability to move past their sorrow.

Learning to acknowledge our own grief and honor our emotionswithoutdwelling on them or allowing oneself to sink into depression can be a tricky balance. However, developing the ability to balance sorrow and joy in our lives is a vital skill, and one that can help create a rich and beautiful life.

If you're struggling to deal with grief in your own life, remember these tips:

1. Allow yourself to have a hard time

Life can be tough and dealing with a loss or other difficult circumstance can be impossibly overwhelming. It's important to acknowledge your own struggle. Rather than trying to suppress your emotions or just push past them, recognize and honor the fact that grief is a natural response for someone in your situation. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the time that you need to grieve.

It's also important to remember that, like any emotion, grief can come and go. You may think that you've put a difficult experience behind you only to find months or, even years later that you're feeling the grief of that situation, again. Understand that healing is a gradual process, and life is filled with natural highs and lows. If you find yourself struggling again after a period of contentment, don't beat yourself up.

2. Be honest with those around you

Few emotions are as isolating as the feelings of grief that accompany a loss or other life trial. When you're in the middle of a difficult experience it can be easy to feel like nobody around you understands your pain.

Being honest with your friends and family. Opening up about what you're experiencing and the sense of grief that you're feeling can help open the doors to powerful healing. Often, your honesty will prompt others to share their own stories of pain and difficulty thus helping to ease the sense of isolation you may feel.

Confiding in those you love can also help them to know how best to extend comfort and compassion. Let your loved ones know how they can help your healing process. Usually, friends and family are anxious to help but don't always know how.

3. Don't let your life revolve around your circumstances

Although it can feel like the trial you're experiencing is all-consuming, it's important to take some time to recognize that your life is made up of more than your loss or frustrating circumstance. Rather than focusing only on the situation that is bringing you grief, try to make some time to focus on other relationships, job, and experiences in your life.

Learning to recognize that your life is bigger than your grief is an important step in being able to heal and move on. Don't forget to have compassion for yourself as you heal. It's very natural for the healing process to take awhile.

The great Jewish writer and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel is famous for saying, "It is possible to suffer and despair an entire lifetime and still not give up the art of laughter."¯ As you work on learning to work through your grief and find joy in your life, remember that grief and laughter aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. It's okay if you feel like you're frequently dealing with conflicting emotions. Like grief itself, contradiction is a natural and normal part of life.

Learning to experience grief in a healthy way, without dwelling on it, can be challenging. However, with patience, compassion, and perspective it's possible to find - as Elie Wiesel did - a balance between grief and laughter.

The post How to allow yourself to grieve, then move on appeared first on FamilyToday.

Trying to keep your relationship strong and healthy while you're far away from your partner can be difficult. Without the ability to show love through touch, or bond through shared activities, it's easy to feel like the challenging aspects of your relationship are thrown into sharp focus.

If you're wondering how to make your long-distance relationship work, don't forget these tips:

Work on communication skills

When you're spending time with your partner in person, you have a wealth of nonverbal resources to fall back on. The ability to touch each other and to read facial expressions and observe body language goes far in helping the two of you to stay on the same page.

In a long-distance relationship, however, you're left with only one form of communication: Talking. Although online video chats can give you the chance to have eye contact with your partner and catch some of their facial expressions, you're still forced to rely largely on your conversation skills.

Good communication is essential in any relationship, but in a long-distance relationship, it's crucial. Take this time to work on improving your communication skills. Do you and your partner struggle to have meaningful conversations? Do you have a tendency to try to talk over your partner, or monopolize your chats with your own stories? Does she get impatient when you try to express your opinion? Do the two of you tend to ignore potential problems, rather than talking them through and finding resolution?

Figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to communication, and set a goal with your partner to work on improving the areas where each of you fall short. Make a goal to really listen to your partner when he's talking, and encourage him to share with you what is going on in his day-to-day life. Not only will the communication skills you learn help your long-distance relationship now, but they will ensure that your relationship remains strong and loving once you're back together.

Take advantage of technology

During our long-distance engagement, my husband became known among his co-workers as "the man who virtually dated his wife."¯ In an effort to stay close during our time apart, my husband and I took advantage of all the technology we had, using the telephone, social media, e-mail, text messages, and instant messaging to keep in frequent contact throughout the day.

So much technology is available today that can help you and your partner stay in close contact - despite the distance. Most computers and many cell phones and other personal devices are equipped to support face-to-face Web chatting. The ability to see each other can help bring an extra level of love and connection to your conversations, as well as opening up wonderful possibilities for your interaction. One friend of mine even had weekly video chat date nights with her fiancƩ in which they would each dress up and plan activities according to a predetermined date night theme.

Be creative in your use of technology, and you might just find that you and your partner feel closer than ever!

Remember compassion

When dealing with the stress and frustration of a long-distance relationship, it can be very easy to find yourself becoming irritated with your partner on a regular basis. Because a long-distance relationship takes more work and offers less of an immediate reward than being with your partner in person, it can sometimes feel like her quirks and idiosyncrasies are brought to the fore.

Long-distance relationships can also become difficult when one or both partners are very busy or have a lot to deal with in their day-to-day lives. It's easy to feel like your partner is either demanding too much of your time and energy, or not giving you the love and attention that you need. Balancing the needs of your relationship with the needs of the rest of your life can be particularly hard when the two of you are far away, handling separate responsibilities.

A long-distance relationship is a time when compassion becomes especially important. Remind yourself often of the things that you love about your partner and the reasons you've chosen to be with them. Recognize that your own faults are probably magnified by the distance as well, and understand that your partner is extending compassion to you, too.

Get to know each other through conversation

Use this time apart to focus on having great conversations with your partner. Discuss your plans for the future, and share with each other your goals and hopes for your relationship. If you're engaged or planning marriage, exchange views on things like parenting, division of household responsibilities, and how to celebrate holidays.

If you're having trouble getting a conversation started, look for inspiration! Find a book of conversation starters for couples, or do a Web search to give you ideas for topics to bring up with your partner. Make a goal to grow closer to each other through conversation as you spend your time apart.

Make your partner a priority

When you're in a long-distance relationship, it can sometimes feel like your relationship isn't really a part of your "real life"¯ - the activities and responsibilities that make up your days. Make sure that, despite the distance, you are still making your partner, and your relationship, a priority.

Although helping a long-distance relationship to thrive is tough, it can also be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do. By the time you're back together, you might just find that your relationship is stronger than ever!

The post Love and long-distance: Make it work for you appeared first on FamilyToday.

After I married, I found - little to my surprise - that this idea was absolutely true, even when our home consisted of only myself and my husband. Although his mood obviously had an effect on our home, I discovered that mymood was often more important in determining the "emotional temperature"¯ in our home. If I was tired, stressed, and unhappy, the evening had a tendency to be quiet and disconnected. If I was happy, relaxed, and focused on how much I loved my husband, our evening was usually a happy one.

Even though it may seem a little unfair to place responsibility for the mood of the family squarely on the woman's shoulders, it can be a wonderful way to embrace a role as a homemaker - andto have a happy home. Many wives and mothers who stay at home (and many who work, as well) have the opportunity to make their home a haven for their families; the kind of place it's a pleasure to be at the end of the day.

Few things help set the mood in a home better than how you greet your husband when he comes home at the end of a day. Do you meet him with a list of things-to-do or a litany of the frustrations of your day - or do you make an effort to spend a minute or two re-connecting and showing how much you love him?

If you feel like your homecoming routine could use a little work, here are a few tips to help spice up your greeting at the end of the day:

Make eye contact

him

Look him in the eyes when he walks through the door. Show him that you're prepared to focus on himfor at least a minute or two. Let him know that you're glad to have him home and that his presence in your home is important to you.

Always greet him with a kiss

your

While it can be easy to get caught up in whatever has been going on in yourday, and view your husband as a fellow worker who's finally come to take over the next shift, it's important to remember that your marriage is a top priority. Greeting your husband with a kiss helps you both remember the excitement and romance that brought you together in the first place - something that can, at times, seem very far away when you're caught up in the day-to-day grind!

Stop what you're doing

It can be tough to break away from whatever it is you're doing when your husband walks in the door, but taking just a moment to greet him with undivided attention can make a big difference. After all, if your husband is the most important person in your life, shouldn't he deserve to feel that way?

Take a few minutes to talk

Ask him how his day went, and tell him about yours. Take a few minutes for some conversation before you both disappear into household chores and dinner prep.

Remember, it's okay if it's not perfect. Maybe you haven't had a single moment to pick up the house before your husband returns from work. Maybe the baby has been crying all day long, and you haven't had a chance to shower. Greeting your husband isn't about achieving perfection; it's about taking the time to show him just how much he means to you. It's important for both of you, and for your family as a whole, that the two of you have a few minutes to re-connect and re-focus on just why you became a family in the first place. Who knows? After a few minutes of focusing on your love for your spouse, cleaning up those toys may not seem like such a daunting job, after all.

The post 4 ways to greet your husband at the end of the day appeared first on FamilyToday.

When you're trying to keep up with the frantic pace of the world around you, you'll often find yourself craving a little more structure, simplicity, and joy in your day-to-day routine.

If you're wanting to simplify, but finding it hard to know where to start, here areĀ five tips that can help on your road to a happier, more peaceful life.

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!

You can't simplify your life without first determining your priorities. Make a list of all the things that place demands on your time, and try separating them into 2 or 3 categories in order of importance. Which tasks are of utmost importance for the health and well-being of your family? Which are fun and rewarding, but ultimately elective?

Create a daily or weekly schedule ranking everything you need to accomplish in order of importance. Aim to complete the "must do"¯ tasks first, then move to others on the list. If you find yourself running out of time, energy, or stamina before you get to the bottom of the list, that's okay! Be realistic with the expectations you set for yourself, and remember that non-urgent tasks can always be reassigned to another day or week.

Learn when to say "no"

Although it can be tough to turn down a fun invitation or decline taking on an important responsibility, it's important to learn that sometimes, you need to say "no."¯

If you feel you can't perform a task somebody has asked you to do, gently but firmly explain that you won't be able to take that on, right now. If you've been invited to do something that you know you'd love to do, but simply don't have time at the moment, suggest rescheduling the event. If that's not possible, it's okay to gracefully bow out.

Remember that only you can know your own needs and limitations. Safeguarding your time and resources will help you to have more to give to those around you. Sometimes, a simple and loving "no"¯ can be exactly what you need to help combat the overwhelming feeling that comes from being too busy.

Recognize when things aren't as important as they seem

If you're feeling overwhelmed and overworked by your everyday responsibilities, it can seem likeeverything that demands your time is of crucial importance. Nearly always, however, closer inspection will reveal that this isn't quite true.

Many things that feel important and urgent turn out, after a closer look, to be less important than we think. Be honest with yourself in acknowledging which responsibilities really are crucial, and which are assignments that you've taken on yourself. Remember that it's sometimesĀ OK to let go of less-important tasks - as Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "A wise man once distinguished between 'the noble art of getting things done' and 'a nobler art of leaving things undone'"¯ (emphasis added).

De-clutter and don't buy things you won't use

Nothing can complicate simple living as quickly as a house filled with things you don't really need. Take a hard look at the toys, gadgets, media, and other material things in your home - are they necessary? Are they used often? Do they help make your life easier, or do they seem to get in the way and make clean-up more difficult?

Take a weekend to clean and de-clutter your home, letting go of things that aren't meaningful or helpful to you. Consider donating what you don't need to a charity or thrift store.

It's also important to be careful in the purchases you make. Will this purchase simply add to the clutter in your home, or will it serve a useful purpose? Try not to buy things you won't be using often. Think about getting books, movies, and other media from a local library or similar source - not only will it save shelf space and cut down on the clutter in your home, it will save you money.

Take time for yourself

As you work to re-organize your schedule and simplify your life, don't forget to take time for yourself. Giving yourself the chance to rest and rejuvenate by doing something you love will help you move forward and accomplish the things you need without feeling drained and overwhelmed.

Although it can seem daunting at first, implementing some of these simplification tips into your life can help you find the extra measure of peace and fulfillment that you crave. You might just be surprised - often, you'll be able to get moredone when you're making sure to stay organized, de-clutter your schedule and your home, and take time for yourself.

The post 5 steps to a simpler life appeared first on FamilyToday.

After my first year of marriage, it became increasingly clear that the life I had intended to live - one that included getting a college degree and then having a family - wasn't working out in the way I had wanted it to. Because of serious health problems, I was finding it more and more difficult to deal with the rigors of student life, and I knew that I needed to make a change. However, due to those same health problems, I also knew that I would not be able to pursue motherhood in the near future.

I was left wondering what I could do with my life. I had never known a woman who stayed home full time without having children. What kind of contribution could I make to the world if I wasn't able to get my degree, work at a meaningful career, or raise children?

These life changes led me on a journey of discovery that lasted several years. In that time, I came to realize just how important the role of homemaker really is, whether or not children are a part of the picture. I realized just how much influence I had over the atmosphere of my home, and just what a big difference I could make in my own life, my husband's life, and even the lives of friends and family who came to visit.

Since I made the shift from full-time student to being a stay-at-home wife, I've learned that I have the incredible privilege and responsibility of making my home a haven - a place of peace, calm, and sanctuary, where love and happiness can be felt by those within.

Here are three simple things that have helped me to find happiness in my role as a homemaker:

1. Figure out what matters to you

For some people, having an immaculate home is a must. For others, a little friendly chaos just makes things feel more homey and lived-in. Rather than seeking to make your home match somebody else's standards, figure out what priorities are important to your family. If keeping the floor clear of clutter is imperative, but having trendy home dƩcor isn't, that's just fine. If the dishes don't get done right after dinner because you're too busy playing a family game, embrace that moment of togetherness and let the clean-up wait.

The important thing is that you find what aspects of homemaking matter most to you and your family. What makes you feel at peace? What fosters love and connection among the members of your family? Focus on these things. In the end, your priorities will go a long way in creating the spirit of your home.

2. Pursue homemaking like any other course of study

When I made the transition to staying at home full-time, I knew that I didn't want my days to become meaningless, blurring together without any structure to define them.

To help get myself excited about my new lifestyle, and to help bring meaning and purpose to my days, I decided to pursue homemaking just like I would any other new career or course of study. I tried lots of different projects and researched techniques for cleaning, cooking, decorating, and other aspects of creating a home. I learned which tasks and projects enriched our home and brought joy into my life and which merely added a lot of work. I read what other women had to say about the importance of homemaking, and formulated my own ideas.

Although full-time homemaking was very different from anything I'd ever done before, I found that I could bring the same enthusiasm and excitement to my new job that I had previously brought to academic and career pursuits. Treating homemaking like any other important pursuit, rather than regarding it as a failure to do more important things, helped me to find joy and fulfillment in my life as a stay-at-home wife.

3. Embrace imperfection

Just like any career or other pursuit, it can be easy to feel like you're falling short in creating the perfect home. In our modern age, it's easy to be bombarded on a daily basis with images of perfection - floors that are always spotless, counter tops that never need to be wiped down, and beautifully decorated homes that seem flawless in every detail.

However, as with anything, I quickly found that expecting perfection from myself as I set about creating a home led to nothing but frustration and disappointment. Only after I had accepted that my efforts would never be perfect, and come to embrace my home as representative of my unique personality and style, was I able to be content with my efforts.

Although it's often a path that is overlooked and even belittled by the world, homemaking can be a source of great happiness and satisfaction. Whether you are working to create a home while also holding down an outside job, raising children, or embracing the stay-at-home lifestyle due to disability or other reasons, following these guidelines can help you to find fulfillment as a homemaker - just like they did for me.

The post Making your home a haven appeared first on FamilyToday.

If you're not sure where to start, here are a few tips for simple, successful blog creation.

First, choose your blog host

As blogging has become increasingly popular, more blogging platforms have been created. Websites like Blogger, WordPress, and Typepad make creating a blog an easy, streamlined process while still giving you the option to customize your blog just the way you want. Most of these platforms are free, or offer a "basic"¯ package that is free or inexpensive.

Although all blog hosting websites boast their own unique features and advantages, ultimately, it's a matter of personal preference. If you're having trouble deciding which blog platform to use, consider visiting a few of your favorite blogs to see which blog-building software they utilize.

If you're still not sure which platform you'd like to use, a great analysis of the most popular blogging websites can be found here or here.

Next, choose a blog name

Although many people simply use their own name, their family name, or their name along with a spouse's name for their blog address, others choose to pick a blog name that highlights an aspect of their personality or introduces the theme of their blog.

Consider your blog's intended purpose. Are you planning to use your blog as a place to share stories and photos from your daily life with friends and family around the globe? Are you planning to use your blog to promote an existing business, such as a photography or craft business? Do you intend for your blog to be a place to hone your writing skills and share your work with the world?

Focusing on your blog's purpose can help you decide on the ideal blog name. More questions to consider are whether you want your real name to be available to the world and whether you think you might eventually change your blog's title. Although using part or all of your own name in your blog's web address can be an easy and convenient way to name your blog - and will give you flexibility down the road - some people prefer to keep their real name secret in the interest of better Internet security.

A final thing to consider in naming your blog is how the link address will look. With all of the popular blogging platforms, you will be given the option of a free domain name that includes the blog platform in your link, for example, "yourname.blogger.com."¯ However, you also have the option to purchase your own domain name, which can typically be done for about $10 USD per year. If you choose this option, your link will simply display as "yourname.com."¯ There are many websites that allow you to register your own domain name. Two of the most popular are GoDaddy.com and Register.com.

Create your blog and customize your layout

Starting a blog with one of the popular hosting sites couldn't be easier! Simply go to your website of choice and look for a button that says something like "Start now"¯ or "Create a blog."¯ Your chosen platform will most likely prompt you to create an author's account for you blog, and input other information such as your blog's address. You'll also be able to choose some of the features and basic formatting you'd like your blog to have.

Once your blog is created, it's time to start making it uniquely yours. Most blogging platforms make it easy to change your blog's template, background, header, font color, and other details. Take a few minutes to explore your chosen blog software and find these tools.

You'll also have the option to upload your own header image - the first thing that readers will see when they load your blog. You can use a family photograph or other picture that is meaningful or your blog's intended audience, or you can try your hand at a little graphic design by creating a custom header using photo-editing software such as Photoshop, Picasa, or your preferred image manipulation program.

Some people want a blog with a little more style than the available default layouts, but don't want to do the work of customizing their blog. Some websites, like the popular "Cutest Blog on the Block,"¯ offer free or paid pre-made blog layouts that can be easily uploaded to spice up your blog without too much effort.

Start posting!

Now that you have selected your blogging platform and blog title, and created your blog, it's time to start posting! On your user dashboard in your blogging software, look for a "New Post"¯ button and use the template to create a post title and body. When posting, be aware that large blocks of text can be tough to read on a computer or electronic device. Consider keeping paragraphs short, and double-spacing in between each paragraph.

Don't forget to let family, friends, and other potential readers know that your blog is out there. Consider sharing your blog address via Facebook, Twitter, or e-mail. And don't stop exploring the world of blogs, blog creation, and blog promotion. It's time to share your voice with the world!

The post How to start a blog appeared first on FamilyToday.

After a few years of marriage, however, it became apparent that, in some cases, this popular injunction made things worse for the two of us. Like many people, when I get tired I become more emotional and less able to remove myself from my frustration and look at a situation from an objective point of view. Quite often, if my husband and I were having a late-evening disagreement, things got betterif we simply agreed to disagree and slept on it.

By morning, we were both in a happier, healthier frame of mind, and better able to approach our disagreement in a calm, rational, and loving manner. After a good night's sleep, the issue that had seemed insurmountable the night before usually felt much more manageable.

Although marital advice such as "Never go to bed angry"¯ or "Don't let the sun go down on your anger"¯ has probably been around almost as long as marriage itself, there are times when even this venerable counsel should probably be disregarded.

So, how do you know when to hash out a conflict before bedtime, or when to allow a good night's sleep to restore your proper perspective? Here areĀ three tips to help handle conflict in your marriage:

1. Be aware of your own weaknesses

When I'm tired, I'm prone to become very emotional and irrational. Even small and insignificant things seem to loom large in my point of view, and the most unimportant marital conflicts can take on epic proportions in my mind.

Being aware of your own weaknesses and strengths when it comes to marital conflict can help you figure out the best way to handle tension in your marriage. Do you get worked up when you're sleepy? Do you lash out when your blood sugar is running low? Do you tend to need a few minutes to cool down before you can discuss a hot-button issue without flying off the handle?

Knowing how you react to situations of stress and conflict can be invaluable in getting marital issues resolved quickly and lovingly. When you're in a conflict situation with your spouse, take a moment to step back and observe the situation. Are your emotions getting in the way of your reason? Are you feeling tempted to lash out at your spouse in a hurtful way? Consider getting a good night's sleep, eating a quick snack, or taking a few minutes to cool off before getting back to the issue at hand.

You never know - taking a little time to calm down and make sure your physical needs are met might be just the thing you need to regain proper perspective.

2. Examine your motivations

You and your spouse have just had a major argument, but now it's time for bed and your conflict is unresolved. Should you follow the age-old adage "Never go to bed angry"¯ and try to hash things out before your head hits the pillow, or should you call a truce and seek resolution in the morning?

If you're not sure which is the best approach, try examining your motivations. Are you tempted to stay up and keep the argument alive in hopes that your spouse will give in? Are you inclined to go to sleep now in order to give him more time to stew over what he's done?

Whatever your final decision, make sure you and your spouse are in agreement. Don't try to use either approach as a way to punish your spouse. If you're tired and feel like a good night's sleep could help you regain your marital equilibrium, suggest the idea to your spouse - but be sure to listen to what she has to say, too. If your spouse isn't comfortable going to sleep with things unresolved, it's important to honor her wishes, as well as your own.

3. Consider how things have worked out in the past

Often, past conflicts in your marriage can give you just the tools you need for dealing with present tensions. Think back to how similar situations in your marriage were resolved. Do you have a history of letting your resentment grow as you sleep? If so, then letting the sun go down on your anger is probably a bad idea. On the other hand, if morning tends to bring out your most calm and loving self, then letting an argument lapse overnight might be just what you need.

Look to the past to help you figure out the best way to approach new conflicts in your marriage. Take note of the strategies that did or didn't work for you and your spouse, and try to apply what you've learned when a new point of tension arises.

Above all, remember that you're in this together. Marriage is a partnership, and it's important that you and your spouse are both committed to finding which strategies are most effective in yourmarriage. Good communication and a willingness to hear your spouse's perspective - whether it's before bed or after a good night's sleep - is always crucial.

The post When going to bed angry is the right thing to do appeared first on FamilyToday.