Megan Bailey – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Fri, 23 Oct 2020 21:18:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Megan Bailey – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 Monday Motivation Quotes to Jump Start Your Week https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/monday-motivation-quotes-to-jump-start-your-week/ Fri, 23 Oct 2020 20:04:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=44583 Monday got you down? These quotes will get you into gear.

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The most dreaded day of the week: Monday! After having a great weekend enjoying our time off without any worry in the world, we must head back to work and face all the emails we ignored on Friday. Mondays can be a drag for many because it is hard to shift our brain back into a professional state.

Rather than sulking your way through the day, read these Monday motivation quotes to get you prepared for the week ahead. These quotes will inspire you to do your best, stay focused on your goals, can crush the day. What will you accomplish with some Monday motivation?

Getting Your Morning Started Right

First things first, you have to start your morning off right. That means getting a good night’s sleep and having everything prepared for getting out the door in the morning. These quotes will be great to read with your morning coffee to help wake you up, get you focused, and help you feel motivated. You’ll be walking into the office with a smile on your face, rather than a frown.

  • “When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love…” – Marcus Aurelius
  • “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn
  • “Mondays are the start of the workweek which offer new beginnings 52 times a year!" – David Dweck
  • “You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.” – George Lorimer
  • “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer
  • “Your Monday morning thoughts set the tone for your whole week. See yourself getting stronger, and living a fulfilling, happier & healthier life.” – Germany Kent
  • “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar
  • “Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it." – Groucho Marx

Staying Focused on Success

Now it is time to get your attention focused on success. You want to accel at your job and get all the task accomplished. No matter if you are a stay at home mom or a corporate executive, you need to control your mind and put it in a “motivated” or “successful” mindset. These quotes are great to sticky-note around your office to inspire you whenever your mind starts to wonder.

  • “One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.” – Viggo Mortensen
  • “Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John R. Wooden
  • “Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” – Zig Ziglar
  • “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” – Napoleon Hill
  • “I was thinking one day and I realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself.” – Unknown
  • “If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.” – David Allen

Keeping Your Mind Positive

Do Mondays drag you down to the point where you are only thinking negative thoughts? You can take those negative thoughts as they come into your mind and swap them out with something inspiring. These quotes will bring a bit of hope, happiness, and positivity to you so that you feel uplifted and ready to accomplish anything.

  • “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso
  • “There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.” – Ray Goforth
  • “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield
  • “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” – Dennis P. Kimbro
  • “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
  • “If you genuinely want something, don't wait for it – teach yourself to be impatient.” – Gurbaksh Chahal
  • “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” – M. Scott Peck

Letting Go of the Stress

One of the worst parts about Mondays are the stress that they bring. It can be hard to feel motivated when your to-do list is piling up to the point it looks like you will never get it all done. Sometimes, we need to take these moments and give ourselves permission to let go and destress. These quotes encourage you to pause, take a breath, and get the task at hand done.

  • “There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” — James Carroll
  • “The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.” – Sydney J. Harris
  • "Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they've started.” – David Allen
  • “Doing something that is productive is a great way to alleviate emotional stress. Get your mind doing something that is productive.” – Ziggy Marley
  • “Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye
  • “It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” – Bruce Lee
  • “For fast-acting relief, try slowing down." – Lily Tomlin
  • “You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” – Wayne Dyer

Monday is by far the worst day of the week, but it does not have to be that way. These quotes will help change your mindset so that you are more motivated than ever. Do not sit and wallow in pity that you have to go back to work, but instead look at it as an opportunity to crush another week and get amazing things accomplished.

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Inspirational Short Quotes to Get You Through the Worst Days https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/inspirational-short-quotes-to-get-you-through-the-worst-days/ Fri, 23 Oct 2020 17:05:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=44544 Is life getting you down? These inspirational short quotes will give you the pick-me-up you need.

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It is a fact of life that not every day is going to be a good one. No matter how hard we try, there are going to be times when life gets you down. Maybe you are going through something big, like losing a dear loved one or a harsh breakup. Even if you are going through something small, like failing a test, it can put you in a sour mood. Our feelings are valid, and we must grant ourselves permission to be sad on the worst days.

There is hope, though, that things will not stay sad forever. These short inspirational quotes will lift you up and give you the motivation to keep going. Even on your saddest and worst days, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Save these so the next time you are going through it, you will have it easily on hand.

Quotes for when you feel sad.

Are tears streaming down your face? Find comfort in knowing that you will be okay, and that sadness is a normal part of life. These words of wisdom will help you find some comfort and peace. You will be reminded that you are never alone and that there is always hope on the other side.

  • "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." - Jimmy Dean
  • "Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud." - Maya Angelou
  • "Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive." - Hafez
  • "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." - Helen Keller
  • "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness." - Jonathan Safran Foer
  • "Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect." - Margaret Mitchell
  • "Sometimes you've got to be able to listen to yourself and be okay with no one else understanding." - Unknown
  • "Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water." - Christopher Morley

Quotes for when you need a pick-me-up.

Sometimes you just need someone to give you a hand back up when you have fallen down. These quotes will do just that. They will inspire you to put a smile back on and keep chugging through the day. They are particularly helpful when you are in a situation where you cannot leave, such as work or school. They will help you feel a bit better until you can get home and do your own self-care ritual.

  • "There is no such thing as a bad day, just bad moments that you choose to take with you all day long." - Unknown
  • "Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye." - Helen Keller
  • "No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel." - Demi Lovato
  • "Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen." - Deep Roy
  • "You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens." - Mandy Hale
  • "I’m gonna make the rest of my life, the best of my life." - Unknown
  • "You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but do not give up." - Unknown

Quotes for a better tomorrow.

Today may be sour, but tomorrow can be sweet. When we are so focused on the bad things that are happening to us today, we tend to forget about the amazing things that are to come tomorrow. Your future is bright and full of life. Do not give up today just because you can’t see what is to come. These quotes will inspire you to find hope in tomorrow.

  • "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James.
  • "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." - Albert Einstein
  • "It isn't where you came from. It's where you're going that counts." - Ella Fitzgerald
  • "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • "Some people look for a beautiful place. Others make a place beautiful." - Hazrat Inayat Khan
  • "We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell
  • "Life changes very quickly, in a very positive way, if you let it." - Lindsey Vonn

Quotes for when you cannot seem to find happiness.

Sometimes when you are going through a rough patch in life it seems like you will never find happiness again. Happiness, though, is more attainable than you might think. Happiness comes from within and is a state of mind that anyone can achieve. When you are feeling that there is no hope, these quotes will guide you.

  • "Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open." - John Barrymore
  • "Happiness is not by chance, but by choice." - Jim Rohn
  • "You do not find the happy life. You make it." - Camilla Eyring Kimball
  • "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • "They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for." - Tom Bodett
  • "Happiness is a state of mind. It's just according to the way you look at things." - Walt Disney
  • "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." - Anne Frank

There is nothing worse than feeling like your world is collapsing all around you. These inspirational short quotes are great to keep on hand to get you through the worst of it all. They can help you to reflect on your situation and find more hope for tomorrow.

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Motivation Quotes to Help Your Struggling Marriage https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/motivation-quotes-to-help-your-struggling-marriage/ Thu, 22 Oct 2020 21:28:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=44529 Feeling that you can’t fix your marriage? These motivational relationship quotes will get your marriage back on track.

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What happens when your happily-ever-after doesn’t feel so happy anymore? It can be a jarring feeling to realize that your picture-perfect ending isn't all that perfect, but no marriage is. All marriages go through hardships. When partners come together and work as a team, they can overcome these obstacles and come out stronger than ever. Through this, you will find the passion you once had that kept your marriage going every day.

If you are currently in a marriage that is on the rocks, these quotes will help give you the motivation needed to rebuild the foundation of your relationship. These words of wisdom will help guide you back on the right path to marriage stability. It's not time to give up yet.

Not Giving Up on Marriage

When life gets hard, our first reaction is to give up. With marriage, though, that should be the last resort. A couple should never give up on their relationship, and choose to fight for it every single day. Love wins when you never stop trying to show it to your spouse, despite everything else that is going on in your life. These quotes will motivate you to keep pushing forward when it feels like it is too hard.

  • "In marriage it is never about not falling, it is always about getting back up." – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
  • "You can’t just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They are great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work." – Unknown
  • “All marriages have dark periods, even the great ones. Don’t give up when you’re in the valley.” – Michele Weiner-Davis
  • “A strong marriage requires loving your spouse even in those moments when they aren’t being lovable; it means believing in them even when they struggle to believe in themselves.” – Dave Willis
  • “A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.” — Unknown
  • "Happily ever after in not a fairy tale, it’s a choice." – Fawn Weaver
  • "People say love doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend renewing it daily." – Unknown

Marriage is Sacred

When you took your vows on your wedding day, you made a promise to your partner that you would stick by them until the end of time. That did not mean "just when things are good". Those vows mean you will stick by them through it all and promise to work things out when they are difficult. Marriage is not something that should so easily be thrown away. Take a moment to remember that marriage is a sacred bond between you two that is something special to honor.

  • "Marriage is meant to keep people together, not just when things are good, but particularly when they are not. That’s why we take marriage vows, not wishes." – Ngina Otiende
  • "The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes." - Amy Grant
  • "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." —Audrey Hepburn
  • “Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.” - Fawn Weaver
  • “Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.” - Jennifer Smith

Making Your Marriage Survive

Marriage requires a lot of hard work, dedication, and determination to keep it going. While love is an important factor, love isn't the only thing required to have a good relationship. Communication, respect, and willingness to overcome obstacles are all important. No pair is going to be perfect. Through teamwork, though, you can get past each other's differences and learn how to cohabitate as partners.

  • “More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” – Doug Larson
  • “Real giving is when we give to our spouses what’s important to them, whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not.” – Michele Weiner-Davis
  • "A marriage is a like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb." – Happy Wives Club
  • “There is no challenge strong enough to destroy your marriage as long as you are both willing to stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other.” — Dave Willis
  • “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” - Mignon McLaughlin
  • “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” – Leo Tolstoy
  • “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” - Fawn Weaver

Remember the Past

There was once a time when you and your partner were so madly in love with each other, that you thought nothing could ever tear you two apart. Those moments of bliss and happiness can quickly be forgotten when something bumpy pops up in the relationship. These quotes will remind you of how you once felt about your spouse, and motivate you to get your marriage back to that again.

  • “One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search.” - Robert Brault
  • “Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • “Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Then write a list of your spouse’s positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the lists and reread them frequently.” - Rabbi Pliskin
  • "All that you are is all that I’ll ever need." - Ed Sheeran
  • "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

No one ever said marriage would be easy, but they did say it would be worth it. While it might not feel that your marriage is going anywhere right now, reflect on these motivational quotes to help shift your mindset. The person you married is still there and your relationship is worth saving. You just need to put in a little bit of time and dedication.

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Best Friend Quotes to Share With Your BFF https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/best-friend-quotes-to-share-with-your-bff/ Wed, 21 Oct 2020 18:38:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=44448 Show your best friend that you love them with these inspirational quotes.

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Your best friend has been there with you through it all: during the difficult times when life seemed like it was over, to your brightest moments that you wish would never end. They are the first person to comment on your new photo on Facebook or to call you on your birthday. Your best friend has held you when your heart was breaking and was the number one cheerleader at your wedding. These true best friends are something to be appreciated and cherished.

These best friend quotes will remind you how truly special your friendship is. No matter how long you have known your best friend, these quotes will resonate with you. We often forget to tell the people we love the most how truly valued and appreciated they are. When you have a long-distance best friend it can be even harder, so send them one of these when you have them on your mind. The gesture will mean the world to them.

Thankful For Best Friends

When is the last time you told your best friend thank you for all they did for you? Best friendships are rare to find, and it’s important to cherish them as such. If you have a best friend that will always stick by your side, you are one of the lucky ones. Never forget it!

  • "Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them." - Anna Taylor
  • “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.” - Irish Proverb
  • "A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world." - Leo Buscaglia
  • "Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust
  • “Friends are relatives you make for yourself.” - Eustache Deschamps
  • "A good friend knows all your best stories, but a best friend has lived them with you." – Unknown

The Power of Friendship

Best friends, especially woman best friends, are incredibly powerful. These friendships can withstand anything. When these people are around you, it might feel like you can do anything that you have your mind set on. True friends are there to support you through it all.

  • “I don't know what I would have done so many times in my life if I hadn't had my girlfriends.” - Reese Witherspoon
  • “Friendships between women, as any woman will tell you, are built of a thousand small kindnesses... swapped back and forth and over again," - Michelle Obama, "Becoming"
  • "Women's friendships are like a renewable source of power." - Jane Fonda
  • “Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.” - Misty Copeland
  • "Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together." - Woodrow Wilson
  • “Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.” - John Evelyn

Honoring Long-Distance or Old Best Friends

Not all friendships are meant to last forever, but a true best friend will leave a mark on your heart that will last a lifetime. No matter if your friend is living far away, or if you have simply grown apart over the last few years, they still mean something important and special to you. It is something worth honoring.

  • “True friends are always together in spirit.” - L.M. Montgomery
  • "There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.” - Jane Austen
  • “Friendship takes work. Finding friends, nurturing friendships, scheduling face time, it all take a tremendous amount of work. But it’s worth it. If you put in the effort, you’ll see the rewards of positive friends who will make your life extraordinary.” - Maya Angelou
  • "Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that." - Ally Condie
  • “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

The Value of Friendships

A true best friend is someone who helps you to grow. They see the absolute best in you and want to bring that power out. They encourage you to see yourself in a positive way. When you are slipping down a wrong path, a true friend will pull you back in. Best friends are the ones who listen to you and are there for you no matter what.

  • "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." - Henry Ford
  • "If we treated ourselves as well as we treated our best friend, can you imagine?" - Meghan Markle
  • “A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.” - Unknown
  • "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." - Bernard Meltzer
  • "Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." - Ed Cunningham
  • "One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

If you had someone in mind as you read through these best friend quotes, make sure to send them a message saying thank you. These best friend quotes are sure to brighten up their day and make them feel truly special. If it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be doing as great as you are today.

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What Are the Health Benefits of Avocados? https://www.familytoday.com/self-care/what-are-the-health-benefits-of-avocados/ Wed, 21 Oct 2020 17:53:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=44427 Avocados aren’t just delicious, they are healthy for you too.

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Avocados have gained notoriety in America the last decade for being absolutely delicious. However, they also have some amazing health benefits that you may have never heard of. From being a healthy fat to protecting your eye health, avocados are a super fruit you need to keep on your menu.

What are avocados?

You might be surprised to learn that avocados are, in fact, a fruit. Avocados are considered to be a berry because it has a fleshy pulp and large single seed. It’s also considered a fruit because it is a product of a tree.  The first avocado tree originated in southern Mexico and Colombia about 7,000 years ago. It was once nicknamed “alligator pears” by English colonists due to their green, scale-like skin texture and pear shape.

What is the nutrition of an avocado?

According to the USDA, 100 grams of avocado will sport 160 calories, 15 grams of fat, 485 mg of potassium, and nine carbohydrates. It also has seven grams of fiber and less than one gram of sugar. It also is a great place to find Vitamin B-6. However, not all avocados are shaped the same way, so it is important to measure your servings with a food scale.

How can avocados help with heart health?

Maintaining healthy cholesterol levels is essential for good heart health. Avocados contain a plant chemical called beta-sitosterol which does just that. Additionally, the fat found in avocados is considered “good” or healthy fat. Monounsaturated fatty acids are shown to lower bad cholesterol (LDL) and increase good cholesterol (HDL). This is best when eaten in moderation in place of saturated or trans-fat.

Can avocados help with growth?

Do you kids low chowing down on avocados? The health benefits of avocados may help them, too. Studies have found that unsaturated fat is important for the growth and development of the brain and the central nervous system. Avocados contain 3.5 grams of unsaturated fat per 1 ounce serving, so it’s a great snack for your growing kids.

Are avocados good for weight loss?

The healthy fats found in avocados take longer for the body to digest, which leaves you feeling fuller and satisfied longer than other foods might. This can lead to less snacking throughout the day. Additionally, avocados are jam-packed full of nutrients and vitamins. When cutting calories, you may not be getting enough of the nutrients that you were before. Avocados are a great way to help with this issue, so your body gets all the vitamins it needs.

Can avocados help with blood-pressure?

Avocados are a great source of potassium. They have as much as one and a half large bananas. This nutrient is key in lowering high blood pressure naturally but is much neglected in the typical American diet. High potassium intake is also linked to lowering heart attacks, strokes, and kidney failure. Additionally, Avocados are free of sodium, which makes them a great addition to the DASH diet. Doctors prescribe the DASH diet to patients that need to help lower their blood pressure.

Do avocados have other nutrients?

Avocados are also a great source of Vitamin K, Folate, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and Vitamin B. These are all needed to keep your body running daily. However, when it comes to nutrients, it’s not all about your intake. It’s important that your body is able to absorb these nutrients too. Some nutrients are fat-soluble, meaning that they need to be combined with fat in order to be utilized. Some studies have found that adding avocado can increase your vitamin absorption.

How do avocados help with eye health?

Avocados are high in the antioxidants carotenoids lutein and zeaxanthin, which are incredibly important for eye health. Studies have found that these two antioxidants are linked to drastically reducing cataracts and macular degeneration risk. This is especially an issue as you age. Eating avocados young can be a great preventative measure.

Are there any downsides to eating avocados?

Like with any food, avocados should be eaten in moderation. Watching your caloric intake each day should help you decide how many avocados work with your diet a week. So other than allergenic concerns, there really is no reason anyone should be afraid of eating a diet high in avocados. There are very few dietary risks, so enjoy them to your heart's content.

Avocados have a creamy, rich, fatty texture and blend well with other ingredients, making it incredibly easy to add to your diet. Using lemon juice may prevent cut avocados from browning quickly, so you don't have to waste so many. The bottom line is that avocados are an excellent food loaded with nutrients that most American's diets are lacking. Protect your heart and your waistline by adding avocados into your daily routine.

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What to Do if You Catch Your Husband Watching Pornography https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/what-to-do-if-you-catch-your-husband-watching-pornography/ Fri, 02 Oct 2020 15:27:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=43659 Do not blame yourself for his selfish actions.

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A lot of women have an initial knee-jerk reaction to internet porn: gross! If you have ever caught your partner watching pornography when you thought they were working on an important presentation, it may have felt uncomfortable, dirty, or like they were cheating on you. You may even feel like he lied or betrayed you, especially if it was a topic you two had already discussed was off-limits.

What should you do, though, in these situations? Is it that big of a deal, or should you be concerned more is going on? Each marriage is different, and appropriate boundaries should be set around pornography so that both parties feel comfortable, safe, and cared for. Here are some steps you can take to work through it as a couple.

Understand that it is not a reflection of you.

Pornography is incredibly off-putting to many women because it makes them feel that they are not worthy enough. Your husband should have already told you this, but you are not in direct competition with the porn he watches. Sometimes we forget that the people in porn many times are paid actors and are not representing what intimacy really is. His choice to watch porn has nothing to do with your appearance or competence in the bedroom. You do not need to engage in sexual acts that make you uncomfortable or get a tummy tuck for your husband to love you. He fell in love and married you because of who you are, not because he wants you to be someone else.

Expect to feel a lot of negative emotions.

You might be angry, scared, upset, and stressed out. All these emotions are okay and normal. It is essential to feel your emotions and work through them, however, to not blow up in your husband’s face. You cannot control what he did, but you can control your reaction to it. Take the time you need away from your husband to cry, scream, and let your rage out. Spend time with a trusted friend and confidant if you need additional support. As the initial shock wears off, you can then come back to your husband and have a conversation about the problem.

Ask the difficult questions.

These kinds of conversations are hard to have, but they are essential. Your husband may feel embarrassed, but he will need to identify the core issues that cause him to look at porn in the first place. Does he consider it to be a problem that he wants to work on, or does it see it as harmless? If the latter is true, discuss with him how it makes you feel. Try and share your feelings and perspective on the situation. He may not realize it is hurting you as much as it is. During these conversations, do not be condemning. Instead, show compassion. Consider how you would want your husband to treat you after you made a big mistake or were trying to overcome a weak area. If he was only harsh, critical, and angry with you, then you would be less likely to want to change. Your husband will benefit from your support.

Discuss boundaries and a plan.

Thinking that ignoring your husband’s porn problem will make it go away is naive. There is no right or wrong timeline for when you should confront your husband, but it is important to come into the conversation with clear expectations. What about porn bothers you? Is there any time that you find it acceptable for your husband to watch? Would you feel more comfortable if you watched it with your husband? Are certain types of porn more upsetting to you than others? Talk to your husband about what boundaries you want around porn so that there is no room for mistakes in the future.

Be a part of your husbands’ success.

Let him come up with his own process and ideas he thinks will be most helpful. This allows him to feel that he is taking responsibility for his actions and is making a real effort towards positive change, rather than being controlled or mothered (even if that is not your intention). Offer a listening ear and be sympathetic when you can. This shows that you are his ally and team member, rather than someone he needs to hide his weaknesses from. Society puts pressure on men every day to never show weakness, so make sure you create an environment where he feels he can be open and honest with you.

Every marriage goes through its troubles, and porn is a source of many couple’s pain. Having open and honest conversations about your husband’s porn usage will be uncomfortable but will set your marriage up for success in the future. It does not mean that you are not good enough and does not mean that your husband does not love you. Things can be worked through as long as you communicate with each other.

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12 Things to Buy Your Husband For His Birthday When You’re Out of Ideas https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/12-things-to-buy-your-husband-for-his-birthday-when-youre-out-of-ideas/ Thu, 01 Oct 2020 21:47:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=43614 You don’t have to reach for another tie or pack of socks!

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It can be challenging to pick out the perfect present for your hubby for his birthday. When he seems like he already has everything, what do you turn to? Rather than picking out simple and boring gifts this year that he is never going to use, try out these ideas instead. He will be ecstatic to get a cool new gadget or handy new tool over another plain colored tie. One of these gifts will surely make him feel loved and appreciated by his number one girl.

The latest smartwatch.

No man can resist the snappy technology found in a smartwatch. There are so many different types available, from the classic Apple Watch to a fancy FitBit device. These gadgets will connect with your husband's phone seamlessly and help him stay connected all day long.

A classic pair of shades.

Want your man to feel like a million bucks? Splurge a little and get him a new set of high-end sunglasses. With UVA and UVB blocking technology, your husband will be wearing them all year round. Plus, it is something everyone needs to have on hand.

A fun weekend getaway.

Rather than gifting your husband more crap he does not need, consider taking him to a new city for the weekend. There are so many fun and adventurous activities to do in new cites. The memories from the trip will keep him smiling for years to come.

A beer-making kit.

Does your husband need a new hobby? Let him try crafting his own beer at home! His latest creation will pair perfectly with his favorite steak dinner. Through patience and dedication, your husband will feel proud of himself for brewing beer on his own.

A virtual reality headset.

If your husband is into video games, then VR headsets are probably already on his mind. They are such fun devices that you can spend hours having fun. All he must do is put it on and get immersed. He will look hilarious, making the gift funny for you too.

A meat smoker.

If your husband likes to cook, a meat smoker will be the perfect gift. It will give him a chance to try new dishes that the whole family will love. You would be surprised how many different foods you can stick in a smoker. It will be a gift that keeps on giving for years.

A fleece robe.

Consider getting something for your husband that he would never buy himself. A luxurious-feeling fleece bathrobe is precisely what your husband needs, but just does not know it yet. The next time he has a lazy Sunday on the couch, he will be happy to have something so soft and comfy to curl up into. It is perfect for lounging around the house.

A skincare set.

Skincare is typically thought to be a women's domain, but men need to be protecting their skin as well. As men age, it is even more critical. Get your husband a new face wash, lotion, or hydrating gel to help keep his skin feeling fresh, rejuvenated, and young. There are many dermatologists recommended items out there for all skin types.

Outdoor game sets.

For your husband looking for a lawn-game challenge, then a new cornhole set or bocce ball will pique his interest. There is also ladder golf, horseshoes, and more! They are all simple yet incredibly entertaining games that will provide relaxing fun on a beautiful day. Plus, the whole family can get involved.

A leather-bound notebook.

Who likes having to write everything down on sticky notes? A lovely notebook with a fancy new pen is an excellent gift for your hubby. He will be thankful he can whip it out anytime an original thought passes his brain, rather than scribbling it down on scratch paper (which we all know he'll inevitably lose.)

A travel kit that is built for comfort.

If your husband is always on the go, then supply him with a new travel kit that will up his comfort levels. A gift basket that includes a memory foam travel neck pillow, eye mask, blanket, and earbuds will be the perfect addition to his travel routine. He will appreciate it even if he's only traveling small distances.

A book of the month subscription.

If your man is an avid reader, this will be the perfect gift. Rather than him reading the new book you got him in a day, he will have new books to read every month. Even if he does not finish it in time, he will still have a new stack of books ready to choose from for your next vacation. Plus, it will make him feel more sophisticated and smarter.

Shopping for men is no easy task, and it is even harder when you have been married for decades. You probably feel like you have already gotten them everything there is to give! But instead of a boring old gift, these ones will excite your man and make him feel extra loved and cared for.

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Should I Be Allowed to Check My Child’s Phone? https://www.familytoday.com/family/should-i-be-allowed-to-check-my-childs-phone/ Wed, 30 Sep 2020 15:58:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=43545 Is it an invasion of privacy, or a parental right?

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Technology has come a long way in the last 50 years. The first cell phone call ever made was in 1973, and by 1992 the first smartphone was developed. By 2007 the iPhone hit the market, and societies completely changed forever. We are connected now more than ever, but it is left many modern parents at a crossroads. Should their children be given a cell phone, and if so, how do I monitor it? It's gotten to a point where it's strange for a teen to not hold the latest gadget in their hand, so it's an essential responsibility of the parent to keep them safe from the technology.

What about young children that use technology?

You may have given a cell phone to your younger child for cases of emergency. When children are young, there is little to no separation or privacy. They are still being cared for by parents, teachers, or other guardians to get through each day. In these scenarios, parents have a responsibility to go through their child's phones. These children are young and must have protection from the internet. They should be putting child locks on certain apps so that the child does not get into something they should not. Additionally, the phone should be set up where it can only call or receive texts from specific numbers and can only call out to an approved list.

How about teenagers and their phones?

As a child grows up to an adolescent, there will be a natural need for the teen to separate more from their parents. They will go through a process of individuation, which is a developmental transition that takes place when a child starts preparing for life on their own. During this time, parents and teens tend to fight about what kind of boundaries are appropriate. Teens should have some form of privacy that is agreed upon. This could be having a room where they can close the door or drive to friend's houses without being tracked.

When it comes to phones, though, there needs to be a transparent line drawn. The ideal time to establish rules about a teen's phone and how it will be monitored is at the very beginning, right after you give it to them. It is easy to relax rules as they prove themselves responsible. Adding new rules, though, can be a disastrous fight waiting to happen.

But is it ethical to spy on your child's phone? To an extent, the answer is yes. Parents are responsible for protecting their children and deciding what is best for them. If parents are suspecting that something is going on with their child, they need to do what they can to get to the bottom of it and help their child through it. If you decide to look through your child's phone, tell your teen about it before you do. If you do not tell them, it can lead to a lack of trust within your relationship and possibly irreparable damage in the long-term. Many times, when a child is afraid to give up their phone, it is because they are embarrassed about something, and not necessarily that they did anything wrong.

What is more important, however, is to explain to them in a detailed manner exactly why you want to keep an eye on their phone in the first place. Your teenager should understand that phone monitoring is not being used as a form of punishment, but rather a form of safety. Monitoring the phones of kids must be a precautionary step and not a reactionary one unless they broke a rule.

The best way to keep an eye on your child's phone is by installing parental control software. There are many apps that provide different levels of monitoring, such as a phone tracker or general summary reports of activity. This is a way you can keep an eye on your child without them feeling that you are continually looking at every message they send on a daily basis. In addition to making the child feel that their privacy is not being violated continuously, the parent will be able to save time from constantly physically searching the phone.

Are other parents checking their teen's phones?

A study by the Pew Research Center in 2016 found that parents of 13 to 17-year old children use a wide range of different monitoring systems to oversee their teenager's online activities and to convince their children to use these technologies in a responsible manner. Most parents in the survey admitted that they check what their teens are doing on their phones, particularly through social media websites. Nearly all the parents also said they had conversations with their teens about appropriate phone behavior, such as not messaging strangers. Furthermore, many parents reported having specific punishments for unauthorized phone usage. Over 65 percent of parents in the study said that they had taken their teenager's phone away as a penalty.

At the end of the day, there is no absolute right or wrong answer as to whether it is okay to go through your child's phone. It can depend on your child's age, personality, behaviors, and levels of trust. The most important thing is that you discuss with your safety measures when using their phones. One text or video forwarded to an unintended audience could land them in huge trouble.

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Should You Argue in Front of Your Kids? https://www.familytoday.com/family/should-you-argue-in-front-of-your-kids/ Fri, 25 Sep 2020 17:34:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=43497 Will the fighting impact them negatively?

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No family is perfect, so fights are bound to happen between parents at one point or another. Between work, bills, and general exhaustion, there is always something that might boil over and blow up in your face. When kids are added to the mix, the stakes only get higher. This can leave parents scrambling with questions. What are the costs of fighting in front of my children? Will it hurt them in the long run if it’s a regular occurrence? How can I prevent fighting from happening?

No parent wants to argue in front of their children. Realistically though, sometimes it happens. A little known secret, though, is that not all fights that occur in front of kids are detrimental. In fact, some valuable life lessons can come from watching constructive arguments that result in a resolution. It is crucial for children to understand conflict resolution between two people because it happens in every relationship. If children never see parents fighting, it can result in an unrealistic ideal in their head about adult relationships and might experience anxiety about healthy arguments in the future.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, though, too much destructive arguing in the home can cause children to develop problematic patterns in adulthood. Kids learn from adult relationships and mimic their parent’s behavior, and therefore will often emulate the conflict styles later in life. They also might be more attracted to unhealthy relationships as adults, where their partner shares similar argument styles because it’s something they are accustomed too. Lastly, they likely will struggle with anxiety and avoidance of intimate relationships as adults. A child that sees their parents excessively arguing will probably be afraid of relationships as adults.

There is a balance between figuring out which disagreements you can discuss in front of your children and what arguments need to be talked about separately. What is most important, though, is maintaining a positive climate where more happy or joyful interactions are seen between both parents and a lower percentage of negative ones. Here are some tips you can use to figure out how to navigate this process.

Make sure the kids see you resolve a fight.

If your children witness a terrible part of a fight, they should also be exposed to the resolution at the end. It is essential for children to see parents restoring good feelings towards each other. If they are young, sometimes sharing those feelings with the children and explaining how you came to a compromise can help them understand. They will learn through this that even though sometimes parents lose their cool, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. They can learn that broken parts of a relationship can heal and repair.

Schedule fights away from children.

Certain fights, like ones that are brought up over and over again, shouldn’t be something your child witnesses. When things like this start coming up, it might be necessary to take a step back and say to your spouse: “This isn’t a good time with the kids around. Let’s talk about it tonight when they go to sleep”. This allows you to put a pin in the fight without ignoring either spouse’s feelings, while also safeguarding the children.

Pay attention to your child’s feelings.

All children are different, but some are quick to blame themselves for fights between parents. It might look clear as day to you that your child is only an innocent bystander, but children are developmentally egocentric. You must assure your child that no matter what tension happens between mom and dad, it is not their fault and that you both still love them unconditionally. When fights happen, ask your child how they felt watching the argument and give them space to express their emotions. This will help them to feel safe, connected, and heard.

Argue fairly.

If you are going to have a tense discussion in front of the kids, you need to make sure that you fight fairly so that they learn the correct way to resolve issues. Be specific about why you are upset so that there is no confusion. Do not bring up past problems or arguments and instead stay on one focused topic. Listen openly to what your partner has to say, even if it’s not something you want to hear or agree with. While you may not see eye-to-eye with your partner, it’s essential to let them know you’re taking in what they say. Don’t undermine your partner, use accusatory statements, or call out their point of view because it is different than yours. Lastly, never drag your children into the fight. It would be best if you never talked about your kids in an argument when they are around.

Children should not be raised in a home where they only see the “perfect” side of their parent’s relationship, but certainly shouldn’t be subjected to angry, excessive fighting each day either. It is essential to teach your children about conflict resolution through healthy and positive conversations. Fighting in front of your children won’t hurt them, but be wary of how often you do it.

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How to Help Carry Your Spouse’s Burdens https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/how-to-help-carry-your-spouses-burdens/ Thu, 24 Sep 2020 18:12:00 +0000 https://www.familytoday.com/?p=43470 Are you willing to step up and help your spouse?

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Emotional labor is real but often is invisible. Emotional labor is the little things that go entirely unappreciated in a relationship but is required to do to run an efficient household. It is all the effort needed to do the grocery shopping, managing the children’s schedules, and doing all the holiday shopping. However, it is not just the stress of executing the tasks; it is the planning and organizing of all of them as well.

Too much emotional labor can leave your spouse feeling stressed, burned out, and exhausted. They may also feel resentful if they feel unseen and unappreciated, even if you are a great spouse otherwise. In your marriage, you must help take on the workload your spouse carries. Research has found that even if a mother is working full time, she is often more likely to be doing more chores around the house than the dad. Here is how you can help them carry the burden.

Pay attention to what your spouse does.

Emotional labor often feels invisible, but with a keen eye, it is easy to spot. Pay closer attention to what your spouse makes every day and the list of things you ask them to do. You will quickly start to realize all the little things that add up. If you are unsure where to look, ask your spouse to be more vocal about the extra works they take on. For example, get a whiteboard and place it on your fridge. Every day write down all the tasks that you and your spouse need to accomplish. When you see their list, pick a few things you can help them with, so they do not have to do it all on their own. It will also be easier to see exactly how much work they are putting in on a day to day basis.

Act as a team.

Regardless of who takes on what tasks, both partners should always be looking out for things that need to be done and delegating out those tasks. Much like a soccer or football player notices what is going on with their teammates, despite it not being their position, couples should be looking for ways they can step in and do what they can. Even if it is not your day to do laundry, if you have free time and see it piling up, you should feel compelled to jump on it. Please do not ignore it so you can browse on your phone. Do not let it get to the point where your spouse must beg for your help with simple household tasks.

Stop asking them to be the middleman.

The partner in a relationship that handles the most emotional labor also is usually the middleman. For example, say your family hires a dog walker to watch the family dog during the day. On days that you come home early, do you ask your partner to cancel the dog walker, or do you do it? Your partner might accept the responsibility, but, there is no reason that you are not able to tackle the task. Passing tiny chores like this off might not sound like a big thing, but over time they add up. It also leaves room for miscommunication since you are not offering the instructions directly.

Respect their need for self-care.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is a day off to focus on their self-care. Take on all the chores you can see so that they can go to the gym, take a spa day, or lay around on the couch and read their favorite book. Let them go catch up with their best friend or go fishing. Your spouse cannot keep giving to the family if they are always running on empty. Stepping up and taking some of the burdens gives them the time and space to start taking care of themselves more. In turn, they will be more likely to want to serve the family, rather than look at it as an overwhelming hill to climb.

Learn their ways of doing things.

You might have stopped helping take on the burdens around your household because your spouse got mad at you for not doing it a certain way. They may be very picky and want the towels folded a specific way while you could care less as long as it gets done. Instead of not helping all together, see if you can find some common ground with your spouse. Be willing to learn how they like things done and ask them to respectfully lower their expectations a little bit. You cannot replicate precisely how they want things done all the time, because you are not them. However, you can put in the effort.

Your spouse may be holding more burdens than you realize. Take the time to dive deep into their day to day schedule so that you can be a better spouse and help them with their tasks. They will be happier that you stepped up to help, and in turn, will have more energy and time to give back to the family. It is a win-win situation that brings couples closer together.

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