During a class at Fresno Pacific University, a speaker asked one of the spouses in the audience:

"Does your husband make you happy?"

At this moment, the husband stood up straighter, showing complete confidence. He knew his wife would say yes, because she had never complained about anything during their marriage.

However, his wife answered the question with a resounding "No."

"No, my husband does not make me happy."

The husband was baffled, but his wife continued:

"My husband never made me happy and does not make me happy. I am happy."

"Whether I am happy or not is not dependent on him, but on me. I am the only person on whom my happiness depends.

I choose to be happy in every situation and every moment of my life, for if my happiness depended on another person, thing or circumstance on the face of the Earth, I would be in serious trouble.

Everything that exists in this life constantly changes: the human being, the riches, my body, the climate, my boss, the pleasures, the friends, and my physical and mental health. I could quote an endless list.

I need to decide to be happy regardless of anything else that happens. Whether I own a lot or a little, I am happy! Whether I'm going out or staying home alone, "‹"‹I'm happy! Whether I am rich or poor, I am happy!

I am married but I was already happy when I was single.

I'm happy for myself.

Other things, people, moments or situations are experiences that might cause joy or sadness. When someone I love dies, I am a happy person in an inevitable moment of sadness.

I learn from past experiences and I live those that are eternal like loving, forgiving, helping, understanding, accepting and consoling.

There are people who say: Today I cannot be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it is very hot, because it is very cold, because someone insulted me, because someone stopped loving me, because I don't know how to love myself, because my husband changed, because my children do not make me happy, because my friends do not make me happy, because my job is mediocre and so on.

I love my life not because my life is easier than anyone else's, but because I have decided to be happy as an individual. I am responsible for my happiness.

When I take this obligation from my husband and anyone else, I free them from the burden of carrying me on their shoulders. It makes everyone's life much lighter.

And that's how I've had a successful marriage for so many years."

Never give anyone else the responsibility to control your happiness. Be happy, even if it's hot, even if you're sick, even if you do not have money, even if someone has hurt you, even if someone does not love you and even if you do not value yourself.

That goes for women and men of all ages.

This article was adapted and translated from the original, "Perguntaram a esta esposa se seu marido a faz feliz: Sua resposta foi inesperada." It was originally published on familia.com.br.

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This dad had no mercy and posted a YouTube video of his daughter taking selfies in the back seat of his car.

If you're a parent, how familiar does this look?

This is a translation and adaptation of the original article, "Pai grava a filha fazendo selfies em video no banco de trás no carro," published on familia.com.br.

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Although the number of men and the number of women are nearly the same when it comes to who are unfaithful, the reasons for cheating vary.

However, here are 10 reasons why men and women should NOT betray their spouses.

1. Respect

Infidelity happens most often because of a lack of respect rather than a lack of love. When you cheat, it's disrespectful to your spouse, yourself, your principles, your commitments and his or her honor.

2. Commitment

When a couple comes together to form a family, the two people are accountable for their choices and commitments. If you have children, you especially need to set an example of following through with keeping your word. You committed to be a family-focus on that.

3. God

In most cultures today, adultery is not illegal. However, people should be more concerned about what God thinks than what others think or what the law is. When you marry, you promise to be together in joy and in sorrow and in sickness and in health for this life and forever. Even for couples without a defined religion, living in peace with God's commandments brings happiness in marriage. Honor your word and know how to control your actions and thoughts.

4. Self-love

We are not animals, so we shouldn't act like we are. When we cheat, we are not showing love toward ourselves. We are children of God, and when we sincerely love ourselves, we will realize He can help us overcome anything, even immoral thoughts or desires.

5. Trends

It's not unique to cheat or betray people. It's everywhere among friends, family, novels, movies, etc. Are you cheating to be part of a group? No. Dare to be different! Have your own perspective of life. It's too trendy to cheat.

6. Cowardice

Affairs can sneak in during all sorts of times: when the opportunity arises, during marital conflict, when there is little or no intimacy or when there are financial problems. But seeking a lover during any time is a cheap, cowardly act. It's a way to run away from your problems.

Solving problems and strengthening a relationship takes time, but it brings better results, especially in the long run. In fact, those who think having an affair solves problems will soon discover their problems have only become worse not just for themselves but also for everyone around them.

Destroying a family does not bring happiness or good results for anyone involved, much less for the children and future generations. However, investing in marriage does.

7. Integrity

Betraying is stealing, lying, exploiting, abusing and hurting. An honest person with integrity will not betray the confidence of anyone-especially a spouse, the mother or father of his/her children. Betraying is an act by dishonest and deceitful people.

8. Self-esteem

If you think cheating with someone who "treats you better" will solve your self-esteem problem, you're wrong. If you have low self-esteem, work on improving it in healthy ways. Most people carry their personal problems around like shadows that won't stop following them. Betrayal just shows the character flaws in full light.

And, if your spouse betrays you, remember it's more of a reflection of who they are than of who you are. Cheating is a sign the cheater has low self-esteem.

9. Communication

The vast majority of marital problems begins and continues from failure to communicate. Understanding how a spouse feels is essential. Leave aside the drama, forgive yourself and others and try to understand where your husband or wife is coming from. Why does he think the way he thinks? Why does she act the way she acts? These are mysteries you can discover together.

10. Connection

Betrayals aren't all about sex. Derived from poor communication, lack of emotional connection is what leads husbands and wives to seek "friends" out of wedlock. Whether it's in-person or through virtual reality, opening the door to someone else about your love life will not solve your problems with your spouse. The emotional connection you make with someone other than your spouse when you open up to him or her about your problems, will not create the necessary drive you need in order to resolve your issues with your husband or wife.

Lastly, there is one more important reason why men and women should be honest and not cheat on their sweethearts: the sacredness of marriage. The Lord created man and woman so they could create a family. God loves families. The attraction between sexes is sacred and important for this reason. Couples who know how to make Jesus a part of their relationships and who are humble enough to listen to His advice will better understand, forgive and love each other.

This article has been adapted and translated from the original, "10 razões porque homens e mulheres jamais deveriam buscar um amante." It was originally published on familias.com.br.

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If you haven't figured it out yet, men and women don't actually need to have sex every single day to be happy in a marriage. Those times in marriage when you have less sex don't just have to be when you're sick, pregnant or postpartum; so if you are in a less-sex phase, don't worry. It doesn't mean the flame has gone out. It might just mean that this week, maybe sleep is more necessary than making love. Don't let statistics that say, "Happy couples have sex three times a week" bother you, because each couple is different, and each couple goes through phases.

Sex is not everything in a marriage, and not everyone wants sex all the time. However, if your sex life is permanently on a stand still, someone is likely to feel rejected. There is a big difference between feeling tired or sick and simply not making an effort.

If this happens to you, see if some of these situations fit into your case:

• When one spouse initiates intimacy, and is regularly rejected, it causes profound damage to his or her self-esteem by making him feel rejected, unattractive, confused and even suspicious that the other is hiding something.

• When trying to discuss concerns about your sex life, one spouse changes the subject. Occasionally when you actually do get a chance to talk about it, the conversation ends up going nowhere and no changes are implemented.

• After you finally have opened up to each other and expressed how you feel, you might start having sex more, but there comes a point where you feel that the other person is just doing it out of obligation. It feels like they want it done quickly, just to avoid divorce or betrayal, which creates a lack of intimacy or connection.

• After a lot of rejected attempts, the intiating spouse has simply stopped trying in order to prevent rejection. They might also seek a feeling of revenge in attempting to make the other spouse feel unloved as well.

• His (or her, whoever is initiating sex) self-confidence is destroyed. Both feel alone most of the time, and feel they must maintain a marriage because of the children or other obligations.

Any of this sound familiar?

Every day this happens to couples worldwide. While it's most often a man rejected by his wife, some women also feel this way.

So what can you do?

1. Control yourself

Betrayal is not the solution. If you treat each other harshly, it won't solve any intimacy problems. Flirting around with other women to feel alive will only cause you major problems. That's a clear sign of lack of self-esteem. You can be better than that.

2. Check up on what they like

Make sure your actions are not a major turn off for your spouse. Small things can quickly kill the mood.

3. Forgive

The little things of everyday life in a relationship can make or break it. We all make mistakes. Forgive the little things they do and apologize for those moments you are unintentionally inconsiderate as well.

4. Review your expectations

That does not mean you have to do something you do not like. It means stop and think about why sex is actually important in your relationship. Are you just trying to use your spouse, or are you working to show them how much you really care? Both of you can work towards rescuing the relationship.

5. Resolve conflicts

Conflict kills sexiness. Talk openly and honestly. If things are being harbored inside secretly, it's hard to open yourself up enough to be intimate.

6. Join teams

Even with just the tiniest bit of love left, both of you can join together to try to improve your relationship. Make a plan together that fits both of your needs.

7. Have a getaway

You don't need lots of money for this, or even to repeat a honeymoon. It could simply mean switching up your routine to rediscover each other.

8. Become friends again

A marriage is much more than sex. It is a spiritual bond between two souls that are committed to one another. Every day you make that choice to be loyal and dedicated. That's much easier when you likeeach other. Learn to be friends again by doing the things friends do together.

And finally, live to help each other and the lovely family life you are building. Sex is important in a relationship, and when you dedicate yourself to it, you and your spouse can both be happier.

If there are emotional issues involved, individual and/or marital therapy are advisable. It can be difficult to be patient while a spouse works through problems, but it is worth it. If there are medical problems, get treatment. Any problem that is preventing either of you from being intimate needs to be discussed in order to preserve your marriage.

If you feel you've done all this and your spouse isn't willing to work on things, have a conversation about the seriousness of the matter, and make sure other things aren't involved, including depression.

Looking for sex with someone else or divorce won't solve the problem, if you haven't learned to work through this. It will only be transferred to someone else sooner or later. Take care of your self-esteem as much as possible and remember the good things you have going for you in life.

This article was adapted and translated from the orignal, "8 soluções para quando a intimidade perde totalmente a graça" on Familias.com.br.

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Christian Carter, PhD, who studies couples and families, seems to have found what it is that men are looking for in a woman. The author of the bestselling book, Catch Him and Keep Him, has studied relationships for years and has figured out why some relationships evolve while others simply do not work. What makes the difference between success and failure? The answer has to do with maturity. Mature men are seeking relationships for life, and are choosing partners that have several things in common with them.

Of course, maturity is what marks the difference between men and boys. If the guy in your life finds these things attractive in you, you are dating a man - not just a boy. Keep an eye out for these characteristics:

A real man likes an optimistic woman

It seems like women are the ones to establish the level of emotional connection in a relationship, and real men don't shy away from this. Emotional security and trust shows a high level of commitment, and lets your partner know you are together for more reasons than just lust. Sharing intimate feelings are just as important as sharing your rich sense of humor. A man falls in love with a woman who laughs easy, smiles and enjoys life. That's someone he'll want to build memories with.

A real man wants an independent woman

A real man wants a woman who is herself, and isn't dependent on relationships to make her happy (but a kiss from him is always appreciated). This type of woman can make her own decisions, have her own dreams and work toward her own goals. A real man will appreciate a woman who has this kind of independence, instead of a girl who can't make up her mind and is solely dependent on a man to be happy.

A real man wants an emotionally mature woman

Maturity goes both ways. Emotional commitment in a relationship will improve your relationship. Couples argue, and how you handle these arguments is crucial; it really shows your maturity "¦ or lack of it. A real man won't depend on rude insults and insensitive comments, but will listen to where you are coming from. A mature woman will do the same, choosing to not criticize or blame her man for problems. A successful couple knows how to handle their emotions, even in arguments. This level of respect is a beautiful part of a healthy, happy relationship.

A real man wants a woman he is intensely attracted to

Of course, physical attraction is important in any relationship. But to be intensely attracted to someone goes past that. A mature man looks for an attractive personality. He knows that beauty will fade, but a beautiful personality only gets better over time.

Trying to find a mature man? Be yourself, work on your own personal growth and self-control. Keep evolving and learn to be happy without a man by your side. When the moment arises, be open to accept him as he is and build a promising relationship together.

This is an adaptation and translation of the original article, "4 coisas que todo homem quer em uma mulher". It has been republished here with permission.

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Early on in a relationship, we are on our best behavior. But after the knot is tied and time goes on, we tend to become a little too comfortable around our sweetheart. Things slip and bad habits surface. And, unfortunately, in many marriages, these little things can become big stumbling blocks.

To avoid having this happen in your relationship, here is a list of things you should never do in front of your spouse.

1. Pick your nose

Just the other day, I was sitting at a stoplight when a handsome man pulled his car next to mine. Interest turned into disgust, however, when I caught him sticking his finger up his nose. I could not believe it! It proceeded to get worse as I watched him roll his findings into a ball and flick it out the window. By then, every ounce of attraction had vanished.

The truth is, everyone picks their nose. Sometimes it is just necessary. This does not justify sticking your finger up your nose in public, however — and especially in front of your spouse! Believe it or not, the thought of having your fingers entwined with those of a nose picker isn't very appealing.

2. Share details of your past relationships

It is really a bad idea to do this in any kind of romantic relationship. Girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives do not want to hear the details of their significant other's past relationships with old flames. This is not tactful or respectful of your his or her feelings. No one wants to feel like he or she is being compared with their spouse's old boyfriend or girlfriend.

3. Pop a pimple or blackhead

Your spouse should not have to watch fluids coming out of your back, forehead, nose or anywhere else. Talk about a turn off! No matter how much your sweetheart loves you, he or she will not find puss coming out of you attractive.

4. Belching or flatulence

I had to find more pleasant words for these items in the dictionary. Women do not normally have much of an issue in this area. However, men seem to think it is funny and can get a little too comfortable doing this around their wives. Remember, married or not, burping and farting is impolite and rather disgusting. Especially in the middle of dinner or under the covers. Your wife will not be impressed.

5. Put your hands in your mouth

A friend of mine told me of a date she had with her boyfriend at a nice restaurant. During the meal, her date slipped his entire hand in his mouth to reach for a piece of meat that had been stuck between his back teeth. He pulled it out, stared at it, then popped the chunk back in his mouth and ate it. My poor friend couldn't eat a single thing after that.

Try to be respectful of your spouse as you eat together. Picking your teeth with your fingernails is a sure way to make your sweetheart lose his or her appetite. Take good care of your oral hygiene and try to keep your hands out of your mouth, especially before a kissing session with your hubby.

6. Cough or sneeze without covering your mouth

If you have a cold or allergy, walk around with a tissue in your pocket. Simply covering your mouth shows that you care and do not want someone else to be infected with whatever virus or bacteria you are carrying. Try to refrain from blowing germs all over your spouse.

7. Remove hair

Unless you are one of those exotic couples where the man loves shaving her legs or the woman loves to shave his beard, do not let him see you shave your legs, groin, armpits, or pluck away your mustache with tweezers. It's like wrapping a present in front of the person you are giving a gift to. Let him enjoy the end result only.

8. Chew with your mouth open

This is only one item of many that show total lack of manners and education. Just because you have tied the knot with your honey does not mean he or she wants to see what you are eating. Try to continue to be the gentleman or lady you were around your spouse when you were dating.

9. Use the bathroom

I did not want to talk about it, but I need to. Some couples feel like marriage means no privacy. I have a friend that continues to have conversations as she or her husband uses the bathroom. Some moments should not have to be shared. Smells and sounds that come from the bathroom are not very good at creating a romantic atmosphere and can be downright embarrassing. Leave a little mystery in your marriage and close the bathroom door.

This article is an adaptation and translation of the original article, "10 coisas que uma mulher nunca deve fazer em frente ao seu marido - e vice-versa." It has been republished here with permission.

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Rituals can be good when you use them for your benefit. The stress of life often pushes aside your most important priorities, and if you're not careful, the madness of everyday life will make you forget that love is what's really important. After all, it was love that brought you together with your spouse as a family.

Here are three little daily rituals that can help you and your spouse build a passionate marriage:

1. Always say 'hello' and 'goodbye' with a kiss and a hug

Make an effort to give your spouse a hug and a kiss before you leave for work and after you return from a tiring day. You will be surprised at how much passion this little gesture adds to your marriage.

This is a ritual that says, "I love you. Please be careful while we are apart. I will miss you."

Your kiss and embrace will make your spouse feel loved and confident. You'll want to return home as soon as possible or stay behind just a little longer.

2. Spend 20 minutes with each other before going to bed

Before you turn off the lights, talk about your day, about your children, or your agenda for the next day. Be sure to look into your spouse's eyes as you talk. Kiss, embrace and pray together before you retire. It's the simple moments like these that add true passion to your relationship.

This is a ritual that says, "I chose you to share my life with, to grow with and to build a family with. You are important to me."

The constancy of this ritual - even on difficult, tiring days or in moments of despair and sadness - is what will make the difference in the progress of your marriage.

3. Set aside one night a week for dating

You reserve time throughout your week to focus on family, school, leisure and work. Why not schedule time to focus on your partner? As a couple, strive to keep your marriage healthy and passionate by setting aside at least one night a week to take care of the most important thing in your lives: your marriage.

This is a ritual that says, "Our love is the foundation of our family. I want to take care of our relationship and keep our love strong."

Someday, when your children are grown, friends have moved away, and family members are gone, you will be glad you took the time to nourish your relationship.

It seems almost too simple, but implementing these little rituals into your life will help you and your spouse gain passion in your marriage. Passion is built through little moments that draw you closer emotionally. So don't slack on the little things. They truly are what make the difference in your relationship.

Do these things. Your love will grow. Your trust will strengthen. Your happiness will increase.

This article is an adaptation and translation of the original article, "3 rituais diários de amor que mantêm a paixão no casamento." It has been republished here with permission.

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We all bring personal insecurities and expectations to a relationship. These concerns are expressed in the small details of everyday life, but may have severly negative effects. What menand women expect from a marriage contributes to the success or failure of your relationship. These 10 situations show how you might be personally sabotaging your marriage.

1. Lack of appreciation

Never telling your spouse what you like about him or her takes its toll. If you stop pointing out the things you admire, it could cause distance between the two of you. Tell and show your appreciation. Try and be specific with your compliments. Saying, "I appreciate everything you do for me" is very general, and may not seem sincere. If you are feeling unappreciated, tell your spouse. This is something you can work on together.

2. Ridicule and sarcasm

Humor should definitely be a part of your marriage. Laughing together is a great way to bring you closer to your spouse. But humor can also be hurtful. Jokes can quickly become sarcastic and harsh, instead of light and playful. If you are purposely targeting and ridiculing what your spouse says or does, this is harmful to your marriage. A spouse who is constantly sarcastic in every conversation and situation isn't being genuine. Don't depend on ridicule and sarcasm for your jokes.

3. Disloyalty

Lies and secrets in a marriage create a lack of confidence and separation. Be loyal to your spouse. Do not flirt with others. Be open and honest in your marriage and strive for unity.

4. Abrupt mood swings

We all need to learn to deal with problems in a calm and constructive way. Explosive behavior can be psychologically and emotionally damaging. This type of behavior chases away the happiness that should be a part of your marriage. Search for self-control, or get professional help to manage your reactions and behavior.

5. Being selfish

If you are spending every extra minute you have for yourself or spending more money than you should on yourself, take a minute to consider your actions. Being married and having a family means you need to be fair with your time and your finances. Do not spend excess time at work if you know that your spouse needs you at home. Do not accumulate unnecessary debt. Make a budget that both of you agree with, and stick to it.

6. Defensive behavior

Your conversations should be respectful and polite. Marriage is about communication and understanding. If you are defensive and hostile, you will never be able to agree or reach a compromise. Learn to ask questions in order to more fully understand your spouse's point of view instead of attacking him or her with words.

7. Courtesy and concern

Even if you don't believe in leaving the bathroom clean, your spouse might. Be considerate.

It is also important for you to take care of yourself. If you have constant headaches, stomach pains or extreme fatigue, for example, take action and see a doctor. Your health isn't just your responsibility anymore; your spouse wants you to be happy and healthy.

8. Hesitation

Poor communication and hesitation go hand in hand. If you are afraid to talk to your spouse, things are left unspoken. That opens the door for assumption, which leads to incorrect judgments about what your spouse is thinking or feeling. Take initiative in your marriage and talk. Your relationship will not save itself if you are hesitant to be open.

9. Unfair comparisons

If you are stuck in the mindset that all men are the same, or that all women are alike, you are making unfair comparisons. Just because a former relationship failed doesn't mean you need to doom your current relationship. Learn from past mistakes, but also learn to forgive yourself and others. Start fresh with this new relationship, and stop making unfair comparisons.

10. Being negative

Do not talk negatively about your spouse - to anyone. Complaining only increases conflicts in your relationship. Try to look for the positive in your spouse; maybe they show love differently than you do. Learn their love language instead of being negative about it. Respect that your spouse is unique. Both of you have faults, but being negative toward your spouse will only cause harm.

In order for a marriage to succeed and be happy, you will both need to invest time, dedication, patience and faith. Strive to be persistent and positive, and fully commit to each other. Life brings enough external difficulties; don't let internal struggles destroy your marriage.

This article is a translation of the original article,"10 sinais de que você està destruindo seu casamento". It has been translated and republished with permission.

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When I was in college, one of my best friends discovered a horrible truth: Her father was not actually her mother's husband, as she had thought. In fact, her mother was his mistress, because her father was married to another woman. Her father had started a relationship with her mom years before she was born and continued seeing her after the birth of two children. The knowledge of this truth crushed her, and she suffered years of sorrow, depression, lack of confidence and disappointment as a result.

The wife of this unfaithful man found out about this relationship many years later, when their children were already adolescents. They ended up staying married while her husband kept the two families, dividing his time between the two women and children from both relationships.

After the truth came to light, however, the children of the lover, and the sons of the wife, met due to legal procedures that were necessary to establish financial support. They demanded their father to do the right thing and separate from his lover.

Instead, this man told his lover that he was willing to divorce his wife and stay with her. She told him that she could not live with that choice and ended their relationship.

Eventually, his wife forgave him and he has stayed faithful to her since.

Not long ago, the former mistress and mother of my friend, contacted me and asked me to publish these letters she wrote, with the condition that they remain anonymous. Here are her letters:

"To the wife of my 'ex-husband':

After several attempts to reach out to you throughout the years, you still do not want to hear what I have to say, judging me only as "the other woman," but I have some things I'd like you to know.

First, please forgive me. This was never what I planned for my life. I grew up in a good family, full of dreams, especially that of having a happy family of my own someday. I never imagined that family would come through someone else's husband.

It doesn't seem to matter anymore how or when your husband and I began to get involved, so many years have passed and we are no longer together. I want you to know that I am aware of how many sleepless nights you spent worried about where your husband was, and with whom. And after finding out, I know you shed many tears.

I am guilty. I could have ended the relationship when I found out he was married. But I had no self-esteem whatsoever after having just escaped an abusive relationship and accepted any love he gave me. After discovering that I was pregnant, I was even more attached to the situation. It was not an easy life, especially seeing my children marginalized for being the children of a married man. It was not easy for me, and it was much less for them. I know it was even worse for you. No woman should have to go through what you went through. I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart.

I accept responsibility for my poor judgment and wrong choices, maintaining the relationship so my children could have a father around. Maybe there were other options, but with all my insecurities, I did not know what else to do. Please forgive me for that too.

I know that it is hard to forgive and forget completely, but if there is a spark of empathy in you, I beg that you give it to me and my children. My children are not guilty of the choices that your husband and I made.

I respect and admire your ability to forgive your husband and hope to receive the same gift."

She also wrote another letter to her "ex-husband":

"To the love of my life,

I could list here all the reasons why I love you, even after all these years apart, and thank you for fulfilling your role as a father, being present while our children were growing up and helping in their support.

I could also blame you for lying about not being married when we first met until I fell in love with you, but I know that I am partially to blame as well. So forgive me for wanting you, and for wanting to know that you wanted me too. While I know I could have disappeared from your life early on, at the same time I know that you would have just replaced me with someone else. I could have started over, but did not know how to do it and instead, let the years pass by. And now I get to endure the bitterness of solitude while you live with your lovely family, which you never should have betrayed.

Now that we are separated, I appreciate that you have continued to be the great father you are. This has really helped our children to overcome the traumatic and painful truth.

Please never forget something: Even though you claimed your wife pushed you to the point where cheating was the only option, you should not have done it. You concluded too quickly that there was no way to fix your marriage problems, and if we overcame our problems without being married, you could have achieved this with your wife.

Through the eyes of God, you and I were adulterers. I regret it bitterly, although we had two beautiful children, and I hope the Lord will one day forgive me for all the pain my bad choices caused you, your family and especially our children. Be happy."

In preparing this article, I asked this lady what advice she would give to couples in the same situation. She didn't feel like she was the best person to give advice, but I insisted, and she replied:

"If you are a woman, never subject to being the mistress of a married man. It is a life of suffering, and the children who come of this relationship and the children of your lover's wife do not deserve the suffering this will cause them. Even if there are no children, believe me, it is not worth throwing your life away for a lie.

If you are a man, never look for a lover or accept the advances of anyone other than your wife. Never destroy the life of a vulnerable woman emotionally for any reason. Your family is the most sacred thing you have. Be faithful to God and do not make those who are under his care suffer because of your sins. That moment of pleasure or emotional connection with another person will result in years of tears and regrets. Remember, if you married a woman it means that you once loved her more than anyone else. Save your marriage and invest your time in it, for the good of humanity and future generations. Be a man."

This article is a translation and adaption of the original article "Cartas de uma ex-amante" published on familia.com.br.

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After professionally, religiously and personally working with dozens of couples, I've compiled some differences between men and women. Oftentimes these misunderstandings are the things that cause confusing feelings or roles within a marriage.

Though men don't always want to talk, there are some things the men in our lives would like us to know.

1. Men are romantic

Men say "I love you" with their actions. When you need him to help you clean the yard or repair a leaky sink faucet, he will do it because he loves you.

Even when he is not gazing lovingly into your eyes, or seems distracted by something else, he is listening. Your man wants to solve your problems to show that he loves you. When he seems silent and distracted, he is probably thinking of ways to solve your problems.

To strengthen a relationship, men will want to do things together as a couple, such as games or sporting activities. Spending time "playing" together is one way that he expresses his love for you.

2. Men are not perfect

Though it may be news to you, your husband does not own a crystal ball. If you want him to understand something, you will need to speak clearly and directly. He can't be expected to decipher sadness in your eyes; you need to explain to him what is wrong.

Men learn from the examples of their parents and the people who influenced them while growing up. There may be wonderful men in his life that provide great examples of what it means to be a good husband and father, or he may not have had that kind of guidance. Be sure to observe and understand the examples that are the mirrors in your husband's life.

Women are not perfect either, so don't forget to appreciate the way he tries.

3. Men want to make you happy

Be sure to help your husband make a loving connection with you. With the stress of work, having a family, financial strains and other pressures, it's important that he has a supportive wife by his side. If you are being cold and distant, it's difficult for your husband to help you fulfill that role and for him to make sure you are happy.

Intimacy in a marriage is for both husband and wife. Having an honest and open relationship about this topic can help you have a strong physical and emotional connection in your marriage.

4. Men also want to be happy

Men love to see their wives happy. But men also want to be happy. If he does not feel loved or appreciated, it can cause serious separation issues in your marriage. He may resort to spending more time at work, or fixate more on hobbies. Some men may cheat, or indulge in addictions to cope with this loneliness and unhappiness. Men will invest more in a relationship if they see that it is an equal partnership.

Just like women, men require some alone time. Activities like mechanics, sports, gardening, etc. should be encouraged. Appropriate time spent on hobbies and interests is healthy for the relationship as a whole.

Men and women are different, but that's what makes marriages strong. As his wife, you should work to help your husband be better each and every day. Without this support, you are just working to take care of yourself independently. Building a life together takes understanding from both sides.

This article is a translation and adaption of the original article, "4 segredos para finalmente enteder os homens."

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