"If my husband would help around the house more, I would be happy."

"If my kids would listen, that would make me happy."

"If I had a husband/wife, I would be happy."

"If I made more money, then I would be happy."

These are only a few statements that are said and thought all around the world, but they are not true. We need to stop waiting for things and decide to be happy now.

Whether or not a person is happy does not depend on other people or circumstances. While it is nice to have a good relationship, more money or a better job, it does not guarantee happiness. Jobs change, spouses disappoint, money is lost and so many other things in life are beyond our control.

So how does a person live a happy life?

To know if you're happy, you have to decide what being happy really means. Does it mean having lots of money? Does being happy mean that you walk around with a cheesy grin, bounce in your step and infectious laugh everywhere you go? Maybe it is a quiet contentment and peace with the world.

Happiness is not a guarantee and it is not something that is simply given out all the time.

Happiness is a choice

Now wait a minute, what about all of those people who suffer from depression? They don't choose sadness. Correct. Depression is real and very challenging, but when a person continues to feel depressed and does not seek help, they are making a choice. It will be harder for them, but they can do it.

You can't expect happiness in every moment of your life. If you never have the sad times or the struggles, how could you really know what happiness and joy are? You would have nothing to compare it against and it would be meaningless to you. So accept those hard and sad times, work through them and then find happiness.

How can we have an overall joyful and happy life?

Research shows that the quality of your close relationships are good indicators of a person's overall happiness, but that relationship does not have to be a marriage. It can be close friends or family members or your best friend. You can definitely be happy and single.

You can also be unhappy and married, unhappy and single or happy and married. The choice is yours. Remember - you are the captain of your ship. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, need you and love you. You deserve great relationships, but remember that all good relationships have highs and lows.

You deserve happiness

If you are married and struggling because your spouse is always disappointing you, please know that you deserve happiness. If you are in an abusive relationship that cannot be helped with counseling or in some other way, get out of that relationship.

If this is not the case for you and you are just unhappy in your relationship, try changing what you can - change yourself. Change your attitude by looking for the positive traits in your spouse. Change your actions by serving your spouse and looking for ways to show them love in the way they need.

If you are single, surround yourself with people who uplift you, need you and love you. You deserve good relationships and you can continue to pursue them. However, don't sell yourself too short or set unrealistic expectations. Find a way of loving people for who they are, including yourself. Choose happiness.

Find a job or hobby you love or volunteer with a local charity you feel passionate about

Finding meaning at a job is not always possible. If that is the case for you and there is no way to change your job situation, find something else that challenges you and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Simply being unhappy because one aspect of your life is not the way you want is a choice.

Happiness depends a lot on our attitudes and what we choose to focus on. We can choose to focus on what we want and don't have, or we can be happy with what we have. We can choose to be unhappy with the way others treat us, or we can focus on how we are treating others and do better.

One of the best ways to find happiness in life is to stop focusing on ourselves and serve others. "Truth Bomb Mom" recently posted a video blog about a time where she was struggling with her own happiness, but regained it by helping others. This is a great way to increase your happiness.

Everyone can be happy, but it requires action and choices. Look for the good in your own life and focus on that because there is always something to be thankful for. Choose to focus on that and your life will be happier.

The post You will never be happy if you don’t understand these 4 truths appeared first on FamilyToday.

There is something magical and wonderful about having a sister. A sister can make you smile or laugh and can really be there to help you through your struggles. However, like any relationship it also has its ups and downs. There are fights and disagreements. However, some of those arguments are actually quite hilarious to look back on later in life.

1. Sharing a room

The wonderful day has arrived; you are getting a sister. You think- finally, another girl in the house to play with. Then shortly after this baby arrives, or sometimes as soon as they arrive, your parents give you the news. You will be sharing a room. Maybe you're excited at first. It always scared you to sleep by yourself anyways. However, within a few years you are fighting.

"She never picks up after herself." "She doesn't make the bed." These are just a few of the complaints that begin. One friend said that she and her sister fought so much that their dad built an actual wall in their room to give them each their own space.

2. Touching stuff

Even if you and your sister didn't have to share a room, your sister still probably touched your stuff. Maybe she played with your toys or possibly she got into your nail polish. There is no end of complaints and fights in regards to the touching of stuff, especially when no permission was given.

3. Ruining stuff

When you share a room or even a house and your sister touches your stuff, occasionally stuff gets ruined. There may or may not have been a certain cabbage patch doll at one house that ended up with a red marker dot on its bum from one little sister. Oops. "Barbie hair is supposed to be cut, right?" or "I thought lipstick is to be applied all over your body." Even worse for a parent of a young toddler, "I wanted to paint my own nails. I don't know how it got on the carpet."

4. Whose turn

Sometimes an older sister can act like the boss and sometimes a younger sister can try to get out of chores or vice versa. A power struggle is not uncommon with sisters and deciding whose turn it is for a chore or who gets to be in charge are some of the major ones that sisters have. Whoever wins gets to be in charge and/or possibly gets out of a chore. Unless mom is called in to help with this fight, then no one wins.

5. Purposely annoy

When a sister feels like the other sister is ignoring her, she might resort to this tactic. She might purposely poke at you until you scream or follow you around bugging you to do what she wants. Maybe she will whine while following you around- whatever it takes to get a reaction and some attention.

6. "She Won't Play With Me!"

While one sister might want to play Barbie's endlessly, the other sister might prefer video games or playing outside. Whatever it is, somewhere hardwired in a sister's mind is the thought that a sister is an instant playmate. This can be quite challenging when you do not agree on what to play.

7. Clothes

You could probably write an entire book about the fights sisters will get into about clothes. "She keeps trying to match with me, and I don't want to wear matching clothes." "She takes my clothes without asking." "I look better in this outfit, so it should be mine." This could go on forever, but I think you get the point.

8. Bathroom

Sharing a bathroom can be quite the challenge. Some girls can spend an hour getting ready. Trying to find a way to get into the bathroom when you have to compete with a sister can sometimes feel impossible. Other bathroom fights occur when you are required to clean the bathroom. Once again, no two sisters are alike. One might be terribly clean and the other a perpetual mess maker.

9. Beauty injuries

Maybe your sister decided to try her hand at cutting hair. You were the lucky first client. It could be that your wonderful sister was helping you flat iron your hair and got a little too close to the ears and burned them. Whatever the beauty injury is, you should feel lucky that your sister wants to perfect her skills with your help.

10. Tell all

Bringing a friend or boyfriend home to your family can be hard enough, but when your sister decides to tell that person embarrassing stories about you, it will make you want to crawl under a rock. Sisters sometimes don't know when to keep their mouths shut about all those wonderful memories.

11. Snooping

That secret journal may not be that secret around your sister. Your notes, texts, and everything else, are a big temptation that some sisters cannot avoid. They figure that everything should be shared since, after all, you are growing up together.

12. Honesty

There is nothing better and harder than shopping with a sister. She will tell you exactly what she thinks. That doesn't just go for shopping, either. Sisters are wonderful at letting you know when you acted weird, keeping you fashionable and up-to-date on the latest trends or how to be better at everything.

The most amazing thing about sisters is when they still love you even when you don't listen or appreciate them. No matter what you and your sister fight or fought about, there is nothing better than having a sister as your greatest friend and your best supporter. So go hug and make up because sisters are amazing.

The post 12 fights only people with sisters would understand appeared first on FamilyToday.

1. You are His child

(Matthew 6:9)

In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught we are to start our prayers with, "Our Father which art in heaven." God is our Father in Heaven, and we are His children.

2. You are wonderfully and fearfully made

(Psalm 139:14)

God is like any loving parent. We are His greatest creation (wonderfully made). Also, another way to describe fearful is "feeling anxious." God knew before He made us the struggles we would have to face, and He was anxious, which is why He sent a Savior (fearfully made).

3. He loves you no matter what

(1 John 4:7-10)

Sometimes people believe the lie Satan whispers in their ears: if you have made mistakes, God doesn't love you. The truth is that God loves you no matter what you do. He wants you to feel His love.

4. He loves us all equally

(Acts 10:34)

"Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons." God doesn't care if you are a beauty queen, the smartest person in the world, rich, black, white, male, female or anything else. You are His child and He loves you.

5. He knows you

(2 Chronicles 6:30)

Sometimes we think no one understands us. We are wrong. God knows us - everything about us.

6. All of your experiences are to teach you something

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Open up your ears, eyes and heart to find out what you need to learn right now. Look for the lessons and growth available in your experiences. Don't let them drag you down to misery. That is not what the Lord wants. Lean on the Lord. Let go of the control you think you need in your life. He knows everything and can see what you cannot.

7. Whatever struggles you are going through will eventually end

(Ecclesiastes 7:8)

Sometimes we can get lost in the here and now and forget that in the Heavenly scheme of things all our struggles have an end. Your struggle may not end until you leave this life, but it will eventually come to an end. Some trials are a matter of endurance and others are a short, heart-wrenching experience. No matter which you are going through, take heart it will not be like this forever.

8. He wants to talk to you

(Matthew 6)

Pray and listen for the answer to come. When we humble ourselves and seek the Lord's help, we are opening our ears and hearts to His guidance. The Lord cannot speak to us when we are not listening.

9. He does not talk to you like you talk to a friend

(1 Corinthians 2:11-13)

He does talk to us. It may not come the way you expect, but it will come. The answer may come from something you read in the scriptures, a conversation with a friend, words spoken at church, uplifting music, the beautiful nature around you or a thought that pops into your head. Learning to recognize how the Lord communicates to you through the Holy Spirit is vital to realizing how much He knows and loves you.

10. He has a wonderful plan for you

(Ephesians 1:11)

You need to be obedient and follow the path He has for you. He knows what you face. God has a plan for you. He also knows you need to figure out that plan one piece at a time like a puzzle. Be patient and persistent in seeking the Lord's plan for you.

11. He is using you to reach others

(Luke 22:26-27)

Along the path of life, God wants you to help others. That is a part of your plan and theirs. Find those He wants you to help, and it will bring great joy to your life.

12. When you do something for someone else, you are doing something for Him

(Matthew 25:40)

Every time you serve someone else in any way, you are serving God. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

13. He has blessed you with so much and wants to bless you with more

(Colossians 3:17)

Sometimes you may not feel like you have much to be grateful for. However, there is always, always something to be grateful for. The sunshine, a warm bed, food, friends, family, etc. The list is endless.

14. He wants to forgive you of your mistakes

(Acts 5:31)

He wants to free you from the weight of guilt and bring peace to your mind and heart. When we ask God to forgive us of the mistakes we make, we end up releasing ourselves from the heavy burden of guilt. Do not wait; do it now. Any mistake can be forgiven.

15. You are doing better than you think you are

(Romans 8:26-28)

Sometimes we judge ourselves based on other people's abilities and experiences. Everyone is so unique and has his or her own experiences. We don't always know the whole truth. Give yourself and those around you a break. You are doing your best, and we can only hope others are as well.

16. It is not time to quit

(James 5:11)

Sometimes when people are sick or become old, they don't feel very useful. They have to rely on others and can feel like giving up. Those who are homebound can still uplift and guide others. They can be a guiding light on social media sites or in conversations, texts, letters, etc. Simply letting others know you are thinking of them does more than you'd think. Also, allowing someone else to serve you leads you and that person closer to Jesus.

17. He wants you to return to Him

(John 3:16-17)

God wants to see you again. Jesus came and gave the ultimate sacrifice so we can see God again. Our Father wants us to return to Him and provided a way.

The post 17 things God wants you to know about yourself today appeared first on FamilyToday.

This time of year creates feelings of joy and excitement for many reasons. One of my favorites is the excitement for mail-not only for the packages I receive filled with gifts but also for the holiday cards.

Mail is finally exciting again. I no longer simply receive endless junk mail and local ads. Now I get pictures, letters and cards from the people I love. When I am home, I anxiously await the sound of mail dropping in the box outside my house. If I am close enough to hear it, I race to the mailbox hoping for a card and not just a local supermarket advertisement or, even worse, a bill.

Those letters and cards really do mean a lot. They mean that even though time and distance separate us, you still think about me. There are so many different types of letters. My favorite are the letters that let me know how the family is doing. These letters can be so informative and funny. They help me feel like I was a part of their year.

Of course, some cards sound like bragging, but choosing to remember the positive things from the past year is not so bad, is it? I have seen other letters that even make no sense at all, but they still made me smile and laugh. Each time I get a picture and see how much the kids have grown or that a new child was added to the family, I smile. I love to read about the people I care about. Getting an update every year is truly amazing.

Our family has lived in numerous states and even more homes. That means we know people all over the country and in some foreign countries as well. It is physically impossible for me to keep in contact with all of them. I simply don't have that kind of time. Also, we have a large extended family, which only compounds the problem. I am so grateful to know these people. Social media has helped in so many ways to keep us in contact.

Still, there is something magical about getting a holiday card in the mail. It is like Christmas morning every day of the holiday season. There is the anticipation of whose card will be first. I have a cousin who usually gets this award and always seems to be on top of things. However, a friend took that award this year. But, no matter if they are first or last, every card and letter is a gift to me. It is a reminder that I am remembered and loved.

Each card and picture is attached to my front door, and I don't take the pictures down until at least June because I just can't bear to part with their faces. I want to look at them every time I go in and out of the house-a constant reminder of those wonderful people I have been blessed to know.

As I sit and work on my very own holiday letter, I imagine myself filling the cards with the love I have for these wonderful people who have so blessed my life. I remember the wonderful times we had together: maybe their laughs, their smiles or simply their strength.

So, if you are on the fence about cards and you have the ability, please send them. Remind the people you care about that they are remembered. The holidays may be a busy time, but it is a great time to show our love and renew our friendships. That is what sending Christmas cards is about-sending your love.

The post How people really feel when they get your holiday card appeared first on FamilyToday.

Everyone goes through hard times. In fact, last week was a very rough week for my family.

Our dog's arthritis reached the point where he could no longer stand up on his own and after 9 years of being blessed with his love, we had to say goodbye to him. The crazy thing is that it was a very busy week for us.

We took a new mother and her family a meal, made food and created games for an activity at church, and watched three kids while their parents went out of town for a birthday/running marathon weekend.

Was it too much? Should we have said no to some of these things? The answer is absolutely not; it was exactly what we needed.

This is what we learned through this crazy process- actually, more like remembered:

First, sometimes our lives get busy at exactly the right moment. Second, when we focus on serving where and when we can, we are blessed.

There is no way we could have known ahead of time that our dog's health condition would decrease so rapidly on this extremely busy week. We scheduled most of these things weeks ago. We can honestly say that if our family did not have these things going on that week, we would have been sitting around worrying about our dog and dwelling on the sadness of his loss.

There have been many times I have witnessed someone who is very busy given more responsibilities at church, work, or in the community. While some may think that a woman whose husband is deployed needs less responsibility, I have seen many women blessed by being given more responsibility.

I have a friend who found herself in this position; her husband was deployed and she was given a demanding calling at church in addition to some volunteer work she did in the community. She didn't realize that these service opportunities and her volunteer work would help her during a very challenging time.

People sometimes say that they are going to focus on themselves for a while. They say it as if living simply for themselves will make everything in their life better. It does not. When we lose ourselves in service to those around us, our lives become better and we feel comfort even during the hard times.

The secret to finding joy and peace when things get hard is to forget yourself and find ways to lift and help others.

If the holidays are hard and lonely for you, then stop moping and find someone you can bless. Since we are in the military, quite often we can't be with family during the holidays. Instead we find friends to enjoy the holidays with or look for someone else's life we can bless. Our life has also been blessed by others inviting us to their homes during these difficult times.

There are so many things that can be done to help others during the holidays. You can volunteer at the hospital, a nursing home, a soup kitchen, or find another person or family that feels lonely during the holidays and get together. The worst thing you can do is sit around and dwell on all the hard and horrible things about life.

There is a meme going around the internet that shows Fred Rogers and it says, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."

We live in a scary world sometimes, but there are always helpers, and I can guarantee that those helpers feel good about what they are doing.

Are you a helper? Whose life are you blessing today?

Don't get wrapped up in your own life and problems because that is a very small package with little rewards. Go out and bless yourself by blessing others.

The post The secret to peace during difficult times? Just ONE thing! appeared first on FamilyToday.

Exercise can produce endorphins that help us combat depression, stress and pain. Additionally, endorphins help boost the immune system and produce feelings of euphoria as discussed in this article. Every mother needs these endorphins and the benefits they bring. After all if mom isn't happy, the rest of the family feels it. Yet, how do mothers fit exercise into their already packed schedule? Here are some ways.

1. Schedule it in

Time will never magically become available to work out. A mother needs to make working out a non-negotiable part of her day. Maybe she goes to a class at a gym that meets daily at a certain time or simply tells her family that between 7 - 8 am every morning is her workout time and pops in an exercise DVD; Whatever works best for her family.

2. Get it done early

Wake up, put on those exercise clothes and work out. The earlier in the day you exercise, the easier it is to do and the less time you have to come up with excuses that prevent you from reaching your goal.

3. Overcome excuses

Some excuses are really good, like a sick kid or family event. Having a backup plan and taking the time to do a few moves at home can make those days a lot more manageable. Here is a link to a workout that requires no weights and can be done anywhere.

4. Find Support

A necessity for any mother struggling to fit exercise into her life is support. Someone needs to watch the kids, encourage us, or invite us to work out with them. The support can come in the form of a significant other, who takes care of the kids in the morning while mom gets a jog in or a friend, who is encouraging you to meet her at a boot camp while the kids are at school. Form a group and meet at a house or local park and let the kids play while the moms exercise. The support makes working out a lot more fun and easier to achieve. Working out can be more enjoyable when you have someone to share it with.

5. Work out anywhere

You don't have to have an expensive gym membership or spend a lot on equipment and DVDs. Find a workout you can do at home simply by searching YouTube or Pinterest. You can do this routine at the park while the kids play or put the little ones in a stroller and have the older ones bike along while you jog. Go to a track and have the kids play in the middle while you do laps or run the bleachers. You can go on a family walk.

6. Do something you enjoy

Find something you love to do. Walk around at a park, take a Zumba class, run or do whatever you love to do and will want continue doing. The key to keeping a workout routine and making it a part of your life is finding something you enjoy. There are so many fun ideas on the Internet, including this one based off of the lead character from the television series Buffy. The key is to find what you want.

7. Positive thinking

We all have days when we just don't feel like working out. The key is to push through those moments. Don't let one day break your good habit and routine because mothers need those endorphins. When we surround ourselves with positive thoughts and people who are also motivated to exercise, we are sure to succeed.

While a mother's life is frenzied, she still needs to take time to build herself up; making exercise a priority is one way to do that. Exercise might just give you that extra boost of energy to keep up with the many demands on your time.

The post 7 tips to fitting exercise into a frenzied mother lifestyle appeared first on FamilyToday.

It is ironic that the minute you go to talk about something like parenting, the flaws and mistakes you make appear to multiply. Being a parent is hard and each parent/child relationship is unique. Instead of focusing on what we should be doing or are failing to do, look at this list and find those things you are already doing right — and maybe find some inspiration as well.

1. Teach

Parents are forever teaching - from a baby's first step, to dreaded potty training, to learning how to deal with disappointments, to healthy eating, to dealing with conflict, to driving and so much more. There are countless things that a parent teaches their child, and a good parent takes time for and makes the most of these teaching moments.

2. Discipline

Giving a child boundaries is challenging, but is worth every painful moment and hateful comment you may receive in return. Without appropriate limits, a child will face many hard lessons at school and in life. Simply doing whatever you want is not possible without severe consequences. Teaching a child not to hit others or steal, for example, is important in the long-run.

3. Follow through

If a child is threatened with no TV for a week or no friends over, following through with that appropriate punishment is important. This may be one of the hardest things we do as a parent. It isn't easy to see our children upset. But following through helps our children understand when issues need to be taken seriously.

4. Set a good example

The best parents are the ones who mean what they say and show it through their actions. Be the type of person your children respect and desire to be like.

5. Instill values

There are basic values, such as respect, freedom, peace, safety, equality and justice. The best parents teach these values in the way they live their lives, so that those values are important to their children.

6. Time

Spending quality time with your children doing things they enjoy, and really truly interacting with them is the best gift you can give to them. According to www.5lovelanguages.com, quality time is one of the ways people receive and show love. It states, "Quality time is all about giving the other person your undivided attention."

7. Foster independence

We are all raising our kids for that eventual day when they leave us — and with that end in mind we need to foster in them independence. Children need to know that they are able to do things on their own. The best parents teach their children the skills they need to become successful on their own.

8. Encourage

Children are not perfect, but neither are we. Focusing on the positive traits of your child and encouraging them in their pursuits inspires them to do better.

9. Forgive

We all make mistakes, and focusing on all the things children do wrong is a burden on both the parent and the child. Free your family from grudges, barriers and pain by forgiving the mistakes your children (and you yourself) make.

10. Love

You may be a hugger or a gift giver or a listener, but what you do doesn't matter as much as how you make your child feel. So keep being a great parent by loving your children unconditionally.

The post 10 things the best parents do appeared first on FamilyToday.

Even if you agree with Taylor Swift on "never ever getting back together," you may also realize that it is not always possible to leave a relationship behind for good. If your marriage is broken and you have children together, there is seldom a full escape from that spouse - even if you divorce. The broken association could also be with a parent, child, sibling, co-worker or long-time friend. Sometimes we get hurt and sometimes we hurt others, but we can't always escape the people who hurt us. What do we do when we know we can't leave a relationship, but we do not see how it can be repaired? Here are a few tips that will help in the rebuilding process.

1. Stop focusing on the negative and look for the positive

This goes for both you and the person you are struggling with. When you focus on the negative aspects of others, it is easy to hold anger toward them. But remember, none of us is perfect; we all make mistakes. It can be harder to focus on the good traits of a person, but it is well worth the effort.

2. Don't expect them to change

It is never good to start thinking something along the lines of, "Our relationship would be much better if they would just ... " Expecting someone else to change is like expecting the weather to be exactly how you think it should be every day. We can not control some things, and need to accept that.

3. Set boundaries for yourself

It is crucial that you realize that you can only change yourself, but you are worth protecting. Set boundaries for yourself. Walk away for a while to cool off and collect your thoughts. Distance yourself emotionally when it becomes too much, and slowly work back into the relationship when you can handle it.

4. Serve

Serving the person you are having issues with is ideal, but any kind of service will make you feel better. We love those we serve. Sometimes service has to come in order for love to return.

5. Ask for help

Please don't be afraid to ask for help. Pray and/or talk to a counselor. If you are struggling, a third party who is not involved with the situation can really be of help. They can see things you might have missed because your emotions were clouded with hurt.

6. Forgive

It is so important to forgive ourselves and others. When you do, you release a burden off of your shoulders. As the book by M. L. Stedman, "The Light Between Oceans" says, "You only have to forgive once. To resent, you have to do it all day, every day."

7. Time

Do not expect an instant bounce back in your relationship. It takes time and there are a lot of ups and downs. Try to focus on the ups, and work through the downs with patience. Pushing or expecting things to be better too soon can be very damaging. Give the other person time to work through the situation also.

8. Realize that relationships change, and embrace it

Sometimes we want to get a relationship back to where it was before. People don't go back. We are constantly changing, and hopefully improving. Move forward with the way your relationship is now and be happy that you were able to overcome the feeling of brokenness.

Relationships are hard, but being able to work through the hurt and disappointment shows real maturity and strength of character. Joyfuldays.com states, "The one thing most studies on happiness agree on is this: Family and relationships are the surest way to happiness." That does not mean we will be happy with all of our relationships all of the time. We need to work on them. Following the eight tips above will help lead to better relationships and happier lives.

*Side note: If you are in a harmful and dangerous relationship that is destructive to you and the people closest to you, please get help and leave. Your safety and well-being is very important. Work on healing the relationship of love you have for yourself by following the steps listed above.

The post 8 ways to rebuild a broken relationship appeared first on FamilyToday.

That day at church, I stared bewildered at my friend and her daughter. Apparently, the daughter didn't like sandwiches and would not eat any kind of sandwich. No peanut butter and jam, no meat sandwich - nothing. Instead, she convinced the teachers to let her use their microwave for leftovers. Yep, I thought, My kids are never going to be that picky. They are going to eat whatever they get and enjoy those sandwiches for lunch. If I could go back and warn my younger self, I would. Never say never.

Not even two days into preschool I got tired of seeing uneaten sandwiches coming home and being thrown away. It was a waste of food, and my daughter was hungry every day. Nothing I could do would make her eat that sandwich once she was out of my house. My daughter is now ten and is already trying to talk her teachers into letting her into their break room. She hates sandwiches. Every day is a struggle to figure out what to send for lunch. Sometimes I just buy her a school lunch hoping she will eat that. I am so sorry I judged that lunch situation before I had a personal understanding of what it was like to be the parent of child who hates sandwiches.

I have heard many "I will never" or "My child will never" statements over the years.

My toddler will never walk around with a pacifier in their mouth.

I will never say, "Because I told you so"

My kid(s) will never disobey me.

My kid(s) will never sleep in the bed with me.

I will never use TV as a babysitter with my kids.

Once upon a time, we were all going to be awesome parents with perfect kids. We had it all planned out in our heads, and we just knew everyone else was doing it wrong. We would be different - better. Then we became parents, and some form of parent karma kept hitting us with challenges that we had previously judged.

Another one of mine came very quickly after my first daughter was born. I was determined that I would be one of those amazingly calm and loving parents. My friends and family would feel free to hold and love on my beautiful baby girl. I had watched others be so protective of their children you were almost afraid to ask to hold them. I was never going to be that protective.

Even before my husband and I walked into a church, I was making plans for my daughter's safety. It was winter - cold season - and I needed to keep her away from germs. My plan was to keep her in the car seat with a blanket over it and not take her out at all. When I went to feed her, I covered her in a blanket snuggled close to me. Then, a friend caught up with me in the hall. She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face, as often happens when you are holding a newborn baby. She told me she was going to hold my baby just as soon as we were done with her feeding.

To say I freaked out would be an understatement. I totally panicked. All I could think was that I was not ready for anyone besides family to hold my girl. I wasn't ready to share her or risk her getting sick. The entire time Celia ate, I was racking my brain for a plan to keep her safe and not offend the lady. Finally I came up with a plan. When we were done I immediately took Celia to her father and gave him strict instructions not to let anyone else hold her. I was, and sometimes still am, a fiercely overprotective parent.

Parent karma got me because I said in my head I am never going to be overprotective. You never really know how you are going to handle a situation until you are placed in it. So if you are like me and parent karma has gotten you, don't worry - you are not alone. It is not too late to say you are sorry to those you judged.

My advice is when you have a thought that begins with "I will never" or "My kid will never" - just stop the thought. Bite down on your tongue and try to remind yourself of the parent karma you have already received. Otherwise -watch out! Parent karma will be heading your way in one form or another. You might just find yourself in that same situation, and it will look very different from inside.

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