Miriam Aguirre – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com Here today, better tomorrow. Tue, 08 Nov 2022 15:31:52 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8.3 https://wp-media.familytoday.com/2020/03/favicon.ico Miriam Aguirre – FamilyToday https://www.familytoday.com 32 32 7 specific and simple solutions to your marriage problems https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/7-specific-and-simple-solutions-to-your-marriage-problems/ Fri, 26 May 2017 14:56:43 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-specific-and-simple-solutions-to-your-marriage-problems/ Make sure your marriage is a success by following these tips.

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"Marriage is like a bank account," said Irwin Corey. The quality of your relationship is up to you - it depends on how much time, love and energy you are willing to invest. But even in a perfect marriage, there are problems that can arise almost daily. Luckily there are also simple solutions to these marriage problems:

1. Having a bad attitude

If you spend your days in a bad mood, thinking about everything you have to do, you fill your home with stress. You lose sight of what matters and will most likely end up spreading that negative energy in your home.

Solution: Wake up every morning and take a deep breath. Take a few minutes being grateful for another day of life and for that wonderful person you have by your side. Smile more and enjoy your life with your partner.

2. Forgetting to hug and kiss your spouse

Daily physical affection is more important than you might know, both for you and your relationship. Neglecting hugs and kisses will slowly erase your bond as a married couple.

Solution: Wake up your partner with a kiss or give a hug when you say goodbye in the morning. Do the same when you reunite later, or just surprise your sweetheart with a big hug when they least expect it. Hold hands when you walk and snuggle when watching TV. At all costs, keep these little touches alive.

3. Not communicating

Sometimes without realizing it, we build up walls that prevent easy communication in our relationship. They're easy to create - things like accusing the other person, not sincerely listening to your spouse, not wanting to solve the problem, starting a fight (and not want to end it) bringing up past problems, raising your voice, insulting, and teasing your spouse can all create a wall.

Solution: Try to be patient and learn to forgive. Even if you are both stubborn and confrontational, just try it. Learn to fight fair and listen to your partner. Listen to their needs and do your best forgive and fix problems that come your way.

4. Forgetting to have fun

Do you remember that time when you met your wife and went out on dates, laughed and talked for hours? When you got married, did you forget that you can still have fun? It's all too easy to let the pressures of life and the routine of our week take over our lives, leaving little room for fun.

Solution: Set aside free time to just to have fun with your spouse. Take a class together, go for a walk, tell funny stories or a joke or go on date. It doesn't really matter what you do, just as long as it's fun.

5. Failing to make deposits in your love bank

Your marriage is the most important relationship you have. You must care for and cultivate it on a daily basis. It should be your top priority - over work, your social life and your other hobbies. If you are failing to keep your marriage in tip-top shape, here is the solution.

Solution: Do not take your spouse for granted. Do not stop thanking them for even the small things they do for you. Make a big deal out of important dates (like anniversaries and birthdays) and don't stop flirting. Remember, love needs care and attention to grow.

6. Emotionally attacking your spouse

One of the worst things that can happen in a marriage is when one spouse (or both) emotionally attacks their partner. This usually happens in a heated argument or when one partner forgets to consider the feelings of their spouse.

Solution: Follow the golden rule - do not do what you would not want done to you; do not say what you do not want to be told. Love more, be more affectionate, forgive and be kinder. If you ever insult your partner or hurt them, ask forgiveness and decide to not do it again.

7. Not forgiving your spouse

A common problem in marriage is not forgiving your spouse for their mistakes.

Solution: If you feel resentment toward your partner, learn to let it go. Do what you have to do to get rid of that weight. Talk to your partner, go to marriage counseling and make the habit of not leaving problems unresolved.

For a happy and healthy marriage be more loving and forgive often. Fill yourself with gratitude and be more aware of your partner's feelings and needs. By doing these things, you will discover that by making your spouse happy, you are also happier.

_This article has been adapted and translated from the original "Problemas concretos, soluciones específicas para tu matrimonio" which was originally published on familias.com.

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5 things to do with your kids now before you regret it later https://www.familytoday.com/family/5-things-to-do-with-your-kids-now-before-you-regret-it-later/ Wed, 08 Mar 2017 06:30:01 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/5-things-to-do-with-your-kids-now-before-you-regret-it-later/ Your children won't stay small forever. Make sure you enjoy every minute you can with them.

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Once we have a child, we will be mothers and fathers for the rest of our lives - but children will not stay children forever. Some people say the first two years of a baby's life are over before you can blink twice. The first time I heard this, I thought it was an exaggeration...I couldn't wait for the day my baby could talk and play with dolls and balls with me. Now my two daughters are in school. When I see pictures of them wearing baby clothes, my heart fills with nostalgia.

The time we have with our children is limited - there are only about 940 Saturdays between the day your baby is born and the day they turn 18...so don't waste them! We can't stop time, but we can make every minute of every day count by doing these things:

1. Kiss and hug them

Consistent physical contact for our little ones will help them develop emotionally, and strengthen the bond between mother and child. They will feel close to you and feel wanted. Enjoy these kisses and hugs when they are young because they won't last forever.

2. Listen to them

As parents, we often talk without taking the time to stop and actually listen to our children. Make a conscious effort to take a break from talking to just listen to your little child express themself.

Ask them how they are doing in school, what their favorite animal is, what they want to be when they grow up and who their best friend is - and listen to their answers.

3. Play with them

It doesn't matter if they are one month or 12 years old - children learn by playing. When they play, they place their full attention on that particular activity. Use games to teach them concepts they need to learn and to bond with your babe.

As you teach your child, they will also teach you by showing you their character, sense of humor, passions and interests. Playing together means you both get the chance to understand each other better.

4. Read together

Your children are always paying attention to you, I promise. At this very moment, you are reading the screen of your cell phone or computer and they are watching you. They will learn the importance of activities, habits and objects by watching how you spend your time. It's important your kids see you read.

Reading will open the doors of knowledge to them. Show them reading is fun by sharing your favorite stories. Read at least one story, or chapter, together every day. It is never too late to start this routine. You and your child will learn to enjoy the time spent together as family.

5. Laugh

Make yourself more happier, learn new jokes and tell them to your children, play with them, tickle them and laugh with them. These happy memories will last through the years.

Follow your heart and enjoy the precious time you have with your little ones. Remember, each day of their childhood only happens once. Take time to be happy and teach your children to be happy.

This article was adapted and translated from the original, "5 cosas que debes hacer con tus hijos o te arrepentirás" It was originally published on familias.com.

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10 reasons why you should hug your family more often https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/10-reasons-why-you-should-hug-your-family-more-often/ Wed, 23 Dec 2015 06:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/10-reasons-why-you-should-hug-your-family-more-often/ Recent studies show how hugging and being hugged bring great health benefits. We need 4 to 12 hugs a day.

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In the dictionary, the word "hug" is defined, "to grasp someone else as a means of expression or demonstration of affection." Recent studies have shown that hugging and being hugged 4 to 12 times a day brings great health benefits. A good hug lasts longer than 20 seconds and must be given and received by people who trust each other. A renowned family therapist and expert on the subject said: "We need four hugs a day to survive. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth."

Why should you embrace members of your family more often? Here I share 10 very good reasons:

1. Hugs make you feel secure

Being embraced gives you a feeling of companionship, helps you emotionally release and relieves loneliness and insecurity. Studies say children who receive more hugs relate to other people more easily and have fewer behavioral problems.

2. Hugs make you feel happy

Undoubtedly, receiving a hug makes you smile instantly and see things more positively. Being hugged creates a hormonal reaction in your body: Oxytocin is released, providing a sense of wellbeing and strengthening family ties. This is the same hormone that supports maternal love and infatuation.

3. Hugs raise your self-esteem

No one can deny that receiving a tight hug from the heart makes you feel loved, valued and special.

4. Hugs strengthen family bonds

A united family is accustomed to giving and receiving loving physical contact with one another: hugging, kissing, shaking hands or leaning on someone else unites and promotes empathy and understanding.

5. Hugs help you relax

Hugs relax your muscles and body tension and can reduce physical pain. Hugs also boost your immune system, making you stronger and less prone to getting sick.

6. Hugs are antidepressants

Hugs promote a positive attitude towards life and take us out of solitude and isolation. They also trigger the production of serotonin and dopamine, the hormones responsible for happiness.

7. Hugs combat anxiety

Receiving hugs often reduces anxiety, which, in turn, reduces appetite (caused by anxiety) and causes people to stay more calm and cheerful. Hugs also combat insomnia and aging.

8. Hugs reduce stress and stabilize blood pressure

Receiving hugs regularly causes blood pressure to stabilize, and cortisol (the hormone which produces feelings of stress) decreases. The reduction of cortisol also decreases your chances of getting sicknesses and diseases.

9. Hugs teach you to give and to receive

While improving your ability to relate to others socially, hugs teach you how to give and receive. A hug stimulates gratitude because, after all, the act of giving a hug is like giving a gift. You give a little of yourself and your warmth as you bring the other person into your heart.

10. Hugs join you emotionally to your partner

In relationships, body language is almost as important as verbal communication. You can tell if a couple is happy, confident and not emotionally distanced by their physical proximity to one another. Hugs literally and figuratively make you closer to one another.

So, don't be afraid to hug, and don't miss a single opportunity to hug or be hugged. Remember that even if you don't need a hug right now, that doesn't mean your son or your husband doesn't. Why not start right now? Surprise someone in your family with a bear hug.

This article was translated and adapted from the original article Diez razones para abrazar más a tu familia published on familias.com.

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How I know my husband loves me https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/how-i-know-my-husband-loves-me/ Sat, 19 Dec 2015 17:04:47 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/how-i-know-my-husband-loves-me/ Do you notice the little things your spouse does to show you love?

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I am a lover of old, classic movies. One of my favorites is "Fiddler on the Roof." After 25 years of being married, Tevye asks his wife if she loves him. She struggles with the question, and responds by saying that she does the laundry, cooks and takes care of him.

Sometimes saying "I love you" can become routine and lose its meaning. That's when actions really show what the words mean. Even when there aren't verbal expressions of love, actions can say everything, as in the case of Tevye's wife.

Here are some things my husband does that show me he loves me deeply. I'm not sharing this to brag, but to help you also identify some things that your partner does for you and to help you see that you're loved.

Shares the housework

If I haven't finished everything I need to do by the time he returns from work, my husband does the dishes, helps me finish dinner or sets the table. Rather than get frustrated, he seizes the moment to spend time together while we chat about our days.

He praises me in public

I know I'm not a perfect woman, but my husband takes every opportunity to comment on what makes him proud of me. Also when we're in public, he always supports me. This attitude makes me feel loved and appreciated, and I know I can trust him.

Spends time with our daughters

Our two daughters eagerly await bedtime because they know that every night their daddy is going to tell them a few stories (many of which are of his own creation). He knows I appreciate some alone time where I can relax, so he spends some time with our little princesses every night. This also helps them cultivate a good father-daughter relationship.

He takes his responsibilities seriously

Even if at times it means sacrificing a few hours with family, I know that if my husband commits to something, he delivers on his promises, either to his employer, a friend and obviously to me.

He talks openly about his feelings

He tells me about heavy situations, not to overwhelm me, but because he knows he can trust me. I am his confidant, so he doesn't have to go looking for anyone else to help him relieve his burden. This makes me feel special; no other person, man or woman, knows what's going through his mind more than I do. This gives me a great sense of security and knowledge that he loves me.

I hope your husband says "I love you" every day. But if not, I hope you also can identify some expressions of love from your spouse; even though he may not say it with words, he demonstrates it through his actions.

This article was translated and adapted from the original, "Cómo sé que mi esposo me ama" on Familias.com.

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7 phrases that will destroy your child https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-phrases-that-will-destroy-your-child/ Fri, 23 Oct 2015 12:56:44 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-phrases-that-will-destroy-your-child/ The words we say to our children have a powerful impact. Be careful not to say these phrases that will…

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The anger, fatigue and frustration that come with everyday problems may make us say things we don't really mean. The effects of these words, however, are out of your control and may not be what you expect. Here are the worst things you can say to your kids, no matter how old they are; but especially to little children.

1. "Don't cry; it's not a big deal."

They're just kids, right? So they have no worries, sorrows, disappointments or fears. As adults, we often make the mistake of thinking this way. Children have just as much, if not more, emotional capacity than adults. The difference is that they can't express themselves or calm themselves the way we can. Isn't that much worse? Never belittle a fear, a scratch, a doubt or a conflict that is going on with your child. Help him to react to it and overcome it in a healthy way.

2. "I wish you were more like your brother."

We gain nothing by comparing our children; but doing so can create resentment among family members. Make sure that comparisons don't exist in your home. Each of your children is unique and special in his own way.

3. "You can never do anything right."

Nobody wants to hear this. Imagine the uncomfortable feeling when your innocent daughter hears you say words like that. If your daughter was wrong, broke something, or ruined a cake, take a deep breath and ask yourself what is most important. The answer is always the same: Your children are more important than anything else.

4. "You embarrass me."

If your child has a tendency to draw attention in public by doing things like yelling, jumping, or running and singing at high volumes, maybe she just needs more attention. Don't express your embarrassment in front of your friends or even in private. Why not plan a show at home where she is the star? Maybe your child will discover her artistic side and you will have a good time as a family.

5. "You're fat/ugly/stupid."

Our children believe what we tell them. We are their most reliable source of information and also the ultimate source of love. Do not damage the self-esteem of your children with negative adjectives. Focus on their strengths instead of emphasizing the negative.

6. "I wish you had never been born."

I cannot think of anything worse that anyone could tell a little child. Never, in any situation, tell this to your children, even in jest. We all need to know we are wanted and loved, regardless of the mistakes we make.

7. "I've had enough; I don't love you."

Sometimes, without realizing it, we start joking with our children. Your 3-year-old daughter is frustrated because she can't eat a second helping of ice cream for dinner. After explaining several times why she can't have it, she gets angry, cries, and says she does not love you. It would be easy to say the same thing; however, this only damages your daughter. The correct reaction would be to explain again why she can't have more dessert and remind her that you will always love her, even if she's angry with you. She will learn much more than you can imagine from this lesson.

With minor adjustments and always considering the feelings and welfare of our children, we can avoid these harmful phrases and have a relationship of love, protection and well-being at home.

This article is a translation and adaptation from the original article Frases que destruirán a tus hijos.

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Studies show all (or at least most) of the world’s problems can be solved with a hug https://www.familytoday.com/relationships/studies-show-all-or-at-least-most-of-the-worlds-problems-can-be-solved-with-a-hug/ Wed, 09 Sep 2015 06:35:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/studies-show-all-or-at-least-most-of-the-worlds-problems-can-be-solved-with-a-hug/ Are you hugging someone four to 12 times a day? Science says you should be. The health benefits of a…

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Need a hug? Studies show you do.

Science shows that this simple action has some serious pay offs. Recent studies have shown that four to twelve hugs a day bring great health benefits. A good hug lasts longer than 20 seconds and must be given and received by people in whom you trust. A renowned family therapist and expert on the subject says: "We need four hugs a day to survive. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth."

Why you should embrace more members of your family? Here are 10 very good reasons to do so:

1. It creates an instant blanket

Being hugged gives you a feeling of companionship and relieves loneliness and insecurity. It helps build you up emotionally. Studies show that children who receive more hugs relation to other people have fewer behavioral problems.

2. Look for smiling side effects

Receiving a hug makes you smile and allows you to see things more positively. Being hugged also gives you a sense of happiness and wellbeing.

3. It boosts self esteem

No one can deny that receiving a long, warm hug makes you feel loved, valued and special.

4. A family that hugs together, stays together

A united family can show their love through hugging. Reaching out to give a hug to a loved one shows your support and acts as a way to comfort them when they are sad. Hugging is a powerful tool to bring families together.

5. It can be a mini massage

Hugs help relax your muscles and release body tension. Holding all that stress in your body can make you more prone to getting sick, so hug away!

6. Hugs make happiness

A simple hug can promote a positive attitude, taking us out of solitude and isolation. Hugs also trigger the production of dopamine, the hormone responsible for happiness. It doesn't matter whether you are giving the hug or receiving it, oxytocin levels are increased.

7. It erases anxiety and stress

Receiving hugs often reduces anxiety and causes more people to stay calm and cheerful. Happiness is a wonderful way to combat the anxiety and stress you might be feeling.

8. Hugs and your health

Studies show that the hormone oxtocin is released into your blood stream when you give a hug, lowering your blood pressure. It can also help improve your memory. Be careful, though; hugging someone you don't know well can have the opposite effect.

9. It teaches you valuable lessons

Hugging can improve your ability to relate with others socially. It's a physical act of gratitude. After all, the act of giving a hug is like giving a gift. Choose to share a little of yourself and your warmth to bring others closer to you.

10. Hugs have no words

Sometimes what we say isn't with words. Body language is just as important as verbal language. In a family that is happy, hugging will come naturally, communicating support and affection.

Do not be afraid to hug your loved ones. Don't miss out on the chance to hug or be hugged!. Why not start now and surprise someone in your family with a big bear hug?

This is an adaptation and translation of the original article, "Diez razones para abrazar más tu familia". It has been republished here with permission.

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7 things you should say to your kids every day https://www.familytoday.com/family/7-things-you-should-say-to-your-kids-every-day/ Wed, 14 Jan 2015 13:30:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/7-things-you-should-say-to-your-kids-every-day/ Of all the things you can say to your children, here are just a few that may have the greatest…

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There are an infinite number of ways that we can express love to our children. Here are a few phrases that I've found are the best ones to use in our homes to uplift our children and strengthen our family ties.

1. "I love you."

Do not go a single day without letting your children hear these words come out of your mouth. Children feel safe knowing that you love them. Difficult days will come. There will be times when they make decisions that may not be the best. Make sure that they know, with certainty, that no matter what decisions they make, you will never stop loving them.

2. "You make me very happy."

This could not be more true! (And every mom and dad knows that no truth is more important.) Children are an inexhaustible source of happiness and love. It is so important that they know this! Don't wait until they graduate or get married to tell them - just do it today.

3. "You are very special."

It is extremely important that children understand from a young age that they are different, unique, and special. We all went to excel in some way. Set a goal to tell them every day that they are incomparable and the best thing that has ever happened to you.

4. "I like it when you..."

Everyone enjoys knowing what they do that makes other people happy - especially your children. Take the time to point out any positive aspect about their behavior, character, kindness, talents, funny ideas or school performance.

5. "I am grateful for you every day."

If you practice any faith, or if you pray on a regular basis, pray with your children and let them hear you thank God for having them in your life, and pray for their well-being. Also pray for their souls, especially when they are going through hard times.

6. "I believe in you/I trust you"

Our children will grow up feeling secure if they know that we trust and believe in them. Tell them that you trust them and respect their decisions.

7. "Are you able to/I know you can."

Children get easily discouraged when they are trying to do something and it doesn't work out after a couple of tries. As parents, we need to encourage them to keep trying, and let them know that we believe in them.

When you're tired and had a long day, it's easy to be tempted to say something that may harm your children. Remember, kids are a blessing, a miracle, and a light that can illuminate your life every day. Make them feel it and know it well. Every day.

Translated and adapted from the original article, "7 frases que debes decirle a tus hijos todos los dias" published on Familias.com.

7 things you should say to your kids every day

Don't let a single day go by without telling your kids how you feel.

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Posted by I Love My Family (FamilyShare.com) on Friday, June 3, 2016

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6 advantages of living closer to grandparents https://www.familytoday.com/family/6-advantages-of-living-closer-to-grandparents/ Sat, 21 Dec 2013 22:00:00 +0000 http://www.famifi.com/oc/6-advantages-of-living-closer-to-grandparents/ About a year ago we decided, as a family, to move to a house which was five minutes away from…

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Sometimes the idea of living close to relatives, especially our spouse's parents, can be seen as a bad thing or even contemplated with fear because it is likely to lead to conflictive situations that may be difficult to resolve. About a year ago, we decided, as a family, to move to a house which was five minutes away from my in-law's home. Living close by has been both interesting and different. It is the first time our daughters have relatives present in their lives.

The following are six of the many advantages that we have by living close to the grandparents:

1. There is no better babysitter than loving grandparents

My daughters love spending quality time with their grandparents. They practice drawing, sewing and having fun by creating new things with them. What better babysitters could we have than infinitely patient and loving relatives who are experienced in child raising?

2. Moral support for parents

Countless times, my husband and I have found support from our in-laws by obtaining words of comfort as well as understanding in order to deal with the daily challenges of life. We don't have to travel long distances to find it.

3. Wise advice and therapy for parents

Do you need advice from a trustworthy person that has been through what you are going through? How about your spouse's parents? In my case, grandparents have advice and experience for each event in my young daughter's life.

4. Shopping buddies

Living closer to my daughters' grandparents gives us the opportunity to find buddies to go shopping with or to attend social commitments at almost any time on any day of the week.

5. Family dinners are not booked just for a couple times a year

Thanks to the fact that we live so close to our in-laws, we can meet more frequently and in a more informal way. As a matter of fact, our family gets together at least twice a week.

6. A more united family

My daughters don't see their grandparents as the "guests" that come to see them once in a while anymore. Now they know who their grandparents are, and they love and trust them for what they really are: An essential part of their family; almost their second parents. Here are some more ideas on how to show love to your grandparents.

Perhaps every day will not be rose-colored. There may be arguments or different points of view regarding how to raise the children. However, by having a positive attitude from both sides (parents and grandparents) and always having in mind what is best for the children, it is possible to overcome any differences and settle agreements without losing or complicating the family relationships. From my personal experience, I am so grateful for the daily love, care and extra kindness that my young daughters receive from their grandparents.

*Translated and adapted by Anders Peterson from the original article "Seis ventajas de vivir cerca de los abuelos" by Miriam Aguirre

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