Family vacations are supposed to bring everyone closer—but sometimes, they come with a little drama. That’s exactly what happened when one grandmother’s request for a kid-free, spouse-free dinner stirred up emotions and divided opinions online.
According to a 40-year-old woman who shared her story on Reddit, her mom is planning and paying for a family vacation. Everything sounded great—until her mom requested that one dinner during the trip be just for her and her adult children, with no grandchildren or spouses invited.
“It’s not a fancy restaurant, but she isn’t confident the kids can behave up to her standards … I am not either,” the woman admitted in her Reddit post.
While the woman said she understood the idea of a simple “sibs only” dinner with their mom, she felt torn about leaving her husband and children behind—especially since her husband has always felt excluded by her mother.
“He was noticeably let down,” she wrote. “I feel like I should just go and enjoy it, but now I'm thinking of 20 years of him being excluded and feeling sad and disloyal.”
That’s where the internet stepped in. Thousands of Reddit users shared their thoughts—and let’s just say, opinions were strong.
“YTA for allowing your mom to treat your husband as [an] other for decades, especially when he has lost both of his parents,” one user wrote, highlighting that the issue isn’t just about one dinner—it’s about a pattern of exclusion.
Others felt sympathy for the mom’s request, noting that it’s only one meal out of an entire vacation. “Give her this one evening,” one person suggested. “You’re taking this woman’s [money] in the form of a vacation, so if she wants one dinner with her kids, then why not?”
Some people encouraged compromise, like going to the restaurant as couples on another night and letting grandma babysit the grandkids.
Experts also weighed in. Randi Crawford, a life coach from San Diego, said this situation is really about recognizing life’s changing seasons. “Excluding spouses on a group trip is tone-deaf, and it puts everyone in an awkward position,” she told Fox News Digital. “This isn't about one dinner. It's about recognizing that your children are no longer solo acts. They come as a team.”
Psychotherapist Melanie Williams added that there may be deeper issues at play. “The mother is trying to relive a fantasy of her kids still being young,” she said. She encouraged the adult children to speak up and set healthier boundaries while also being mindful of how financial dynamics can complicate things.
Ultimately, the Reddit poster admitted she’d love an uncomplicated dinner with just her mom and siblings—but given the history, it’s hard to ignore how her husband might feel.
It’s a story many families can relate to: the delicate balance between honoring parents, including spouses, and keeping the peace. Maybe the best vacations are the ones where everyone gets a little of what they need—even if it means having a tough conversation or two before the trip.
